Today the enemy is attacking me from all sides and I am having a hard time fighting him. I am so tired. Experience has taught me to be on guard for his attacks but he has snuck up on me today.
The enemy, of course, is Satan.
It never ceases to amaze me all the ways he can come up with to torment me. His favourite seems to be my dreams. He knows I cannot fight him there so he visits frequently and attacks swiftly. All my fears and weaknesses are attacked in my dreams. I am helpless.
He doesn't limit his attacks to nighttime. He attacks me during the day too. He is always whispering in my ear: you aren't good enough.... you are unlovable, unforgivable, unworthy.... you will never be anything other than what you are...a failure. He is relentless.
Today I feel his attacks from all sides. He knows I am tired and therefore weak. I hate that he is laughing at me.
He knows my heart is joyful and he hates it.
He knows I belong to Jesus and he hates it.
He knows that I walk and live and breathe The Truth and he hates it.
He knows the pain and the sadness on my heart and he uses it against me.
He knows all my sore spots and insecurities and fears and he exploits them all.
He loves it when I fall.
He hates it when I rise.
Ian and I are enduring a very painful and heartbreaking season, relying on God's love and mercy daily. Satan hates when I draw near to The Lord. The closer I am, the harder he attacks. He knows he can't have me, that I have given my life to Jesus, but he will still do what he can to torment and attack me. He is hateful and destructive.
The truth is that I am good enough.... I am lovable and loved, I am forgivable and forgiven, I am worthy.... I am who God says I am and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
He may have knocked me down a few times today but he cannot keep me down.
"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Crazy Day
6:00 am ~ up with Jordan for the day
7:00 am ~ bathe Jordan
7:30 am ~ wake up the kids and start packing lunches
8:10 am ~ head out the door to take Ian to work
9:03 am ~ drop off kids at school
9:10 am ~ learn the absolutely devastating news that Tim Horton's has recalled their Steeped Tea and while it will come back one day, they have no idea when
9:20 am ~ arrive home to feed/change Jordan
10:50 am ~ head out to pick up Ian from work at 11:25
11:50 am ~ drop Ian off at the children's school so he can accompany Sam on his field trip
12:05 pm ~ arrive at Toys R Us to purchase a gift for a baby shower I am going to this weekend, but end up demonstrating how my carseat/stroller works to a family shopping
12:40 pm ~ met up with Jen and her adorable daughter Sarah for lunch at Swiss Chalet. Two waitresses repeatedly touched, stroked and poked Jordan. Lots of cooties there
2:05 pm ~ arrive back at the school to pick Ian up to take him back to the office. Bus is late so I catch a 7 minute catnap.
2:30 pm ~ bus arrives and I sign out both children at 2:45 pm because there is no way I will be able to get Ian back to work and then back to the school to get the children by 3:40.
3:30 pm ~ drop Ian off at his office :-(
3:45 pm ~ arrive at Erin Mills Town Centre. Nothing there that grabs me for the shower this weekend.
4:15 pm ~ Dairy Queen! 'Nuff said.
4:25 pm ~ buy some Pretzel Bits to take to Ian
4:50 pm ~ arrive at Ian's office building. The kids climb trees out back to pass the time.
5:00 pm ~ pick up Ian and head for home
5:20 pm ~ stop at Blockbuster for Ian to buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV
5:40 pm ~ arrive at A & P to do some grocery shopping
6:20 pm ~ head for home...thinking about putting on my jammies and relaxing for the night...or so I thought...
6:30 pm ~ Julie asks me if we are still going to go shopping for her shoes. I forgot I had promised her.
6:40 pm ~ drop off Ian, Sam and Jordan along with all the groceries then head over to Wal-Mart to buy Julie's shoes.
7:10 pm ~ Arrive home, fix the kids a late dinner and put away a few groceries.
No wonder I was so tired!
7:00 am ~ bathe Jordan
7:30 am ~ wake up the kids and start packing lunches
8:10 am ~ head out the door to take Ian to work
9:03 am ~ drop off kids at school
9:10 am ~ learn the absolutely devastating news that Tim Horton's has recalled their Steeped Tea and while it will come back one day, they have no idea when
9:20 am ~ arrive home to feed/change Jordan
10:50 am ~ head out to pick up Ian from work at 11:25
11:50 am ~ drop Ian off at the children's school so he can accompany Sam on his field trip
12:05 pm ~ arrive at Toys R Us to purchase a gift for a baby shower I am going to this weekend, but end up demonstrating how my carseat/stroller works to a family shopping
12:40 pm ~ met up with Jen and her adorable daughter Sarah for lunch at Swiss Chalet. Two waitresses repeatedly touched, stroked and poked Jordan. Lots of cooties there
2:05 pm ~ arrive back at the school to pick Ian up to take him back to the office. Bus is late so I catch a 7 minute catnap.
2:30 pm ~ bus arrives and I sign out both children at 2:45 pm because there is no way I will be able to get Ian back to work and then back to the school to get the children by 3:40.
3:30 pm ~ drop Ian off at his office :-(
3:45 pm ~ arrive at Erin Mills Town Centre. Nothing there that grabs me for the shower this weekend.
4:15 pm ~ Dairy Queen! 'Nuff said.
4:25 pm ~ buy some Pretzel Bits to take to Ian
4:50 pm ~ arrive at Ian's office building. The kids climb trees out back to pass the time.
5:00 pm ~ pick up Ian and head for home
5:20 pm ~ stop at Blockbuster for Ian to buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV
5:40 pm ~ arrive at A & P to do some grocery shopping
6:20 pm ~ head for home...thinking about putting on my jammies and relaxing for the night...or so I thought...
6:30 pm ~ Julie asks me if we are still going to go shopping for her shoes. I forgot I had promised her.
6:40 pm ~ drop off Ian, Sam and Jordan along with all the groceries then head over to Wal-Mart to buy Julie's shoes.
7:10 pm ~ Arrive home, fix the kids a late dinner and put away a few groceries.
No wonder I was so tired!
Best Husband Ever
I have to brag about my Ian.
Yesterday I was beyond tired. I'd had only three hours of sleep on Sunday night and I was so exhausted on Monday morning. Jordan would fuss every time I put her down and cried so much throughout the day. I had to let her cry at one point while I went to the bathroom and I came out to find that she'd cried so hard she threw up.
By the time Ian came home I was a mess. And do you know what he did for me?
1) Picked up Chinese for me for dinner
2) He washed my favourite flannel sheets for our bed & made it up for me
3) Cleaned his bathroom and ran me a bubble bath (perfect temperature!)
4) Set me up with candles, a glass of wine, soft music and a fresh towel
5) Sent me to bed early giving me a solid six hours of uninterrupted sleep
And that's not all!
He picked up some groceries on his way home, gave Sam another bike riding lesson, then watched the children & fed them dinner, got them into bed, prepared bottles of formula for Jordan and washed the dishes so I would come down to a clean sink this morning.
What a blessing this man is. He was tired too and had worked all day, but he spent his entire evening taking care of me and the children.
Thank you Ian... I love you.
Yesterday I was beyond tired. I'd had only three hours of sleep on Sunday night and I was so exhausted on Monday morning. Jordan would fuss every time I put her down and cried so much throughout the day. I had to let her cry at one point while I went to the bathroom and I came out to find that she'd cried so hard she threw up.
By the time Ian came home I was a mess. And do you know what he did for me?
1) Picked up Chinese for me for dinner
2) He washed my favourite flannel sheets for our bed & made it up for me
3) Cleaned his bathroom and ran me a bubble bath (perfect temperature!)
4) Set me up with candles, a glass of wine, soft music and a fresh towel
5) Sent me to bed early giving me a solid six hours of uninterrupted sleep
And that's not all!
He picked up some groceries on his way home, gave Sam another bike riding lesson, then watched the children & fed them dinner, got them into bed, prepared bottles of formula for Jordan and washed the dishes so I would come down to a clean sink this morning.
What a blessing this man is. He was tired too and had worked all day, but he spent his entire evening taking care of me and the children.
Thank you Ian... I love you.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Success is MINE!
I finished painting the upstairs hallway today. All I have left to do is to paint the baseboards, window ledge and door frames but I want to wipe/wash them first. I can now scratch that off my To Do list. I'm frustrated at myself that it took me so long to paint - we've been in this house for almost 10 years and have never painted that area. It looks so fresh and clean. I should have done it years ago. We deserve to enjoy our living space. We've never painted our bedroom either. I don't know when I will find time to work on that room.
I was almost finished when Ian and the kids came home. He wanted to run me one of his amazing bubble baths for me to relax in and I was so tempted to take him up on it but the fact that I hadn't completed this job was niggling at me. I wanted to finish it TODAY and I DID! I feel proud of myself and ready to take on the next item on my list.
My kitchen still rocks and my appliances are still sparkly. Tonight Sam scrubbed crayon off the cabinets in the kitchen (yes, I know... crayon on the cabinets.. how the heck did that happen...?) and swept the floor. Julie put leftovers away into the fridge and helped me while I finished my painting project. They were freaking me out asking what else they could do.
HELLO! Did Ian bring the right children home with him from his parents' place???
I'm feeling pretty good about myself today. This was a great weekend. Family time, time alone with Ian, a visit with my mom, church this morning & seeing friends, a nap, a clean kitchen and one project completed. Good stuff.
I don't know what's gotten into me but I like it.
I was almost finished when Ian and the kids came home. He wanted to run me one of his amazing bubble baths for me to relax in and I was so tempted to take him up on it but the fact that I hadn't completed this job was niggling at me. I wanted to finish it TODAY and I DID! I feel proud of myself and ready to take on the next item on my list.
My kitchen still rocks and my appliances are still sparkly. Tonight Sam scrubbed crayon off the cabinets in the kitchen (yes, I know... crayon on the cabinets.. how the heck did that happen...?) and swept the floor. Julie put leftovers away into the fridge and helped me while I finished my painting project. They were freaking me out asking what else they could do.
HELLO! Did Ian bring the right children home with him from his parents' place???
I'm feeling pretty good about myself today. This was a great weekend. Family time, time alone with Ian, a visit with my mom, church this morning & seeing friends, a nap, a clean kitchen and one project completed. Good stuff.
I don't know what's gotten into me but I like it.
Quiet
My house is so quiet. Ian has taken The Herd up north to his parent's house for the remainder of the day so I can paint the upstairs hallway undisturbed. They have been gone for only about 5 minutes and my heart has started to feel heavy. I love my family and I love being with them. I hate it when they are apart from me. I know that they will have a great time, and the my inlaws will love on those kids like crazy, and I will be able to knock off the upstairs hallway from my Things To Do List...but still... I am in love with my family and any time spent away from them makes me sad.
Jordan made her debut at church this morning. Because of our plans for the day, we chose the early service. I was glad because the first service typically has less people, and less people = less cootie infested peeps asking to hold my baby. Ha. Only one person asked and I couldn't say no since she lent me a gorgeous moses basket. Everyone said she was beautiful and many said she looks like me (poor kid.. let's hope she grows out of that) She slept throughout the entire service which was good.
Today I was looking at Julie while she was sitting on the couch playing with her DS. When did she get so big? When did I look away long enough for her to turn into this long legged beauty? Wasn't she just born a year or so ago? Time flies.... time flies...
Last night was amazing. My mother came to watch the CHILDREN (ha Jen, that was for you) so that Ian and I could go out for dinner alone to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary (Apr 20). We went to The Keg for dinner and while the food was excellent as always, what I loved was time alone with Ian, holding hands across the table like we used to when things were new and fresh, the way he looked at me, like I was beautiful. I felt shy at times and our time together had such a "new" feel to it. We've had a hard couple of years (who am I kidding.. we've gone through just about everything a marriage goes through in a lifetime, yet we've seen it all in 12 years) but sitting there, seeing in his eyes the love he has for me, it was like all those years just peeled away and we were those innocent young adults again. After dinner we went to see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". I really liked it. We don't get out much these days so we have to be very picky when choosing a movie so it's good that this one was funny.
So, the other day I bought all sorts of cleaning supplies. I am not a housekeeper... I despise housework. I know everyone does, but I REALLY REALLY do. When I was growing up we always had a cleaning service and when I got married I had no idea how to clean anything. Not that I wanted to learn mind you. Fast forward 12 years and I still don't want to learn. Anyway... I spent time looking at all the products and reading what they do. I ended up buying this Lysol kitchen cleaner stuff, not really knowing if it would work. I couldn't very well ask people what to use to clean because then they would wonder what the heck I've been doing all along. Well.. let me tell you... this stuff was AMAZING. It took off marks from everything. My stove looks brand new!! My friend Jen called while I was cleaning and I must have sounded like some sort of commercial as I told her about this product. I'm surprised I didn't demand that she go out and buy some right then. Jen then new my secret... I am a newbie to cleaning. From the stove I went to my dishwasher... EVERYTHING came off... then I took everything off my fridge and guess what? It looks as new as my stove. Prepare yourselves, my dear 2 readers.. I even mopped the kitchen floor.
I wonder if all the other stuff I bought to clean with will bring me such joy and excitement. It feels like Christmas.
Jordan sees the doctor this Friday for her one month appointment. How is it that she has been here for a month already? She has filled out so much and has such a healthy look to her. I will be interested to know how much weight she's put on.
Sigh... so much to do before the house is ready to list. I am hoping to hire someone to clean up the yard and do some painting and repairs soon. I really, really want to have the house listed by May 15th, but it's going to take so much work. Our original date to list was May 1st but we jacked around too much and well, that's just not going to happen. Now it's May 15th and I really don't want to have to bump the date again. The CHILDREN (ha Jen) are so excited about being able to look for a new home and Ian and I are ready to get things underway. We're jammed in here pretty tight.
Well, guess what? The hallway isn't going to paint itself so I'll sign off for now.
Jordan made her debut at church this morning. Because of our plans for the day, we chose the early service. I was glad because the first service typically has less people, and less people = less cootie infested peeps asking to hold my baby. Ha. Only one person asked and I couldn't say no since she lent me a gorgeous moses basket. Everyone said she was beautiful and many said she looks like me (poor kid.. let's hope she grows out of that) She slept throughout the entire service which was good.
Today I was looking at Julie while she was sitting on the couch playing with her DS. When did she get so big? When did I look away long enough for her to turn into this long legged beauty? Wasn't she just born a year or so ago? Time flies.... time flies...
Last night was amazing. My mother came to watch the CHILDREN (ha Jen, that was for you) so that Ian and I could go out for dinner alone to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary (Apr 20). We went to The Keg for dinner and while the food was excellent as always, what I loved was time alone with Ian, holding hands across the table like we used to when things were new and fresh, the way he looked at me, like I was beautiful. I felt shy at times and our time together had such a "new" feel to it. We've had a hard couple of years (who am I kidding.. we've gone through just about everything a marriage goes through in a lifetime, yet we've seen it all in 12 years) but sitting there, seeing in his eyes the love he has for me, it was like all those years just peeled away and we were those innocent young adults again. After dinner we went to see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". I really liked it. We don't get out much these days so we have to be very picky when choosing a movie so it's good that this one was funny.
So, the other day I bought all sorts of cleaning supplies. I am not a housekeeper... I despise housework. I know everyone does, but I REALLY REALLY do. When I was growing up we always had a cleaning service and when I got married I had no idea how to clean anything. Not that I wanted to learn mind you. Fast forward 12 years and I still don't want to learn. Anyway... I spent time looking at all the products and reading what they do. I ended up buying this Lysol kitchen cleaner stuff, not really knowing if it would work. I couldn't very well ask people what to use to clean because then they would wonder what the heck I've been doing all along. Well.. let me tell you... this stuff was AMAZING. It took off marks from everything. My stove looks brand new!! My friend Jen called while I was cleaning and I must have sounded like some sort of commercial as I told her about this product. I'm surprised I didn't demand that she go out and buy some right then. Jen then new my secret... I am a newbie to cleaning. From the stove I went to my dishwasher... EVERYTHING came off... then I took everything off my fridge and guess what? It looks as new as my stove. Prepare yourselves, my dear 2 readers.. I even mopped the kitchen floor.
I wonder if all the other stuff I bought to clean with will bring me such joy and excitement. It feels like Christmas.
Jordan sees the doctor this Friday for her one month appointment. How is it that she has been here for a month already? She has filled out so much and has such a healthy look to her. I will be interested to know how much weight she's put on.
Sigh... so much to do before the house is ready to list. I am hoping to hire someone to clean up the yard and do some painting and repairs soon. I really, really want to have the house listed by May 15th, but it's going to take so much work. Our original date to list was May 1st but we jacked around too much and well, that's just not going to happen. Now it's May 15th and I really don't want to have to bump the date again. The CHILDREN (ha Jen) are so excited about being able to look for a new home and Ian and I are ready to get things underway. We're jammed in here pretty tight.
Well, guess what? The hallway isn't going to paint itself so I'll sign off for now.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Bring The Rain
This is one of the most beautiful and moving blogs I have ever come across. The unshakable faith this family has is an example to all of us who claim the title of Christian.
This blog is the journey of a precious child who was created by our Heavenly Father, but was not meant for this earth. The most recent entry is a song written from her experience. If you have lost a child, be it from the early weeks from conception or been blessed to see their precious face, this song will touch you.
I Will Carry You
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One whose chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...
I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One whose chosen Me
To carry you
This blog is the journey of a precious child who was created by our Heavenly Father, but was not meant for this earth. The most recent entry is a song written from her experience. If you have lost a child, be it from the early weeks from conception or been blessed to see their precious face, this song will touch you.
I Will Carry You
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One whose chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...
I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One whose chosen Me
To carry you
Friday, April 25, 2008
Poor Jordan
She had such a rough night last night. I think she might have a cold and she's breathing all "snarfy". I ran the shower for as long as the hot water lasted and she was breathing normally again but once I put her in the crib she was snarfin' within minutes.
She's napping right now and her breathing is normal at the moment. I might need to take her to the doctor today. Poor little thing.
She's napping right now and her breathing is normal at the moment. I might need to take her to the doctor today. Poor little thing.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Song
I came across this song today and when I looked up the lyrics for it I started to cry. It's such a basic song, a basic cry. I thought I'd post it here for anyone to read.
Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while
Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give, thats my everything
And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down
Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now, i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet
And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while
Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give, thats my everything
And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down
Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now, i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet
And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
I am a bad, bad, blogger.
I never seem to have any time to blog! My readers - all two of them - must be so disappointed in me!
It's been another busy week. I missed church on Sunday. I was trying to get up my nerve to take Jordan and brave those with cooties who would want to hold her. I don't know how to deal with people who ask if they can hold her. I have a hard time saying no to begin with, so this is really a challenge for me. I worry about germs and about her being handled too much. The best I have come up with to say if anyone asks if they can hold her is "perhaps after the service. I don't know how she will do during it and I don't want her to fuss with someone else". I know... it sounds weak even as I type it. Then after the service hopefully she will be sleeping and I can suggest next time as she is sleeping now... I don't know. I feel bad because these people have been so excited for us and praying for us and then I won't let them hold my baby? Maybe I am nuts to worry about this. Maybe they'll think she's a little creep and that will be that.
Monday I took the kids for their dental appointments. Julie was very nervous and it took a long while for the hygenist to clean her teeth properly. I understand that, I've always been afraid of dentists. After school I took them for haircuts and I am happy to report that Sam's hair is now a proper, clean length.
Tuesday I missed my housegroup meeting because I was beyond tired. I miss the girls but I just don't have the energy come 7pm. I am going to have to drop out of that group because there is just too much going on.
Wednesday morning my mom and I went down to the school to hear Julie read over the announcements. She did a great job! I am so proud of her.
Today I bought $70 worth of cleaning products then never cleaned. Sigh. I took the kids out for ice cream after school.
Tomorrow is family night. Saturday night my mom is coming to watch the children so Ian and I can go out for dinner together and see a movie afterwards. I'm really looking forward to a date with Ian.
I think I'm going to start painting the upstairs hallway on Sunday. We have SO much work to do to get this house ready to list. Decluttering, cleaning, painting, repairs. We need to hire someone to paint the exterior of the house and to clean up the yard and shape our gardens. Crazy. I want that For Sale sign on my lawn on May 15th. Talk about a challenge.
It's been another busy week. I missed church on Sunday. I was trying to get up my nerve to take Jordan and brave those with cooties who would want to hold her. I don't know how to deal with people who ask if they can hold her. I have a hard time saying no to begin with, so this is really a challenge for me. I worry about germs and about her being handled too much. The best I have come up with to say if anyone asks if they can hold her is "perhaps after the service. I don't know how she will do during it and I don't want her to fuss with someone else". I know... it sounds weak even as I type it. Then after the service hopefully she will be sleeping and I can suggest next time as she is sleeping now... I don't know. I feel bad because these people have been so excited for us and praying for us and then I won't let them hold my baby? Maybe I am nuts to worry about this. Maybe they'll think she's a little creep and that will be that.
Monday I took the kids for their dental appointments. Julie was very nervous and it took a long while for the hygenist to clean her teeth properly. I understand that, I've always been afraid of dentists. After school I took them for haircuts and I am happy to report that Sam's hair is now a proper, clean length.
Tuesday I missed my housegroup meeting because I was beyond tired. I miss the girls but I just don't have the energy come 7pm. I am going to have to drop out of that group because there is just too much going on.
Wednesday morning my mom and I went down to the school to hear Julie read over the announcements. She did a great job! I am so proud of her.
Today I bought $70 worth of cleaning products then never cleaned. Sigh. I took the kids out for ice cream after school.
Tomorrow is family night. Saturday night my mom is coming to watch the children so Ian and I can go out for dinner together and see a movie afterwards. I'm really looking forward to a date with Ian.
I think I'm going to start painting the upstairs hallway on Sunday. We have SO much work to do to get this house ready to list. Decluttering, cleaning, painting, repairs. We need to hire someone to paint the exterior of the house and to clean up the yard and shape our gardens. Crazy. I want that For Sale sign on my lawn on May 15th. Talk about a challenge.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Crazy Week
What a week. I can't believe it's Thursday night.
Monday ~ Ian insisted that I "take the night off". I felt so bad because a) I would be leaving him with the entire herd and no help and b) I really, really wanted to get out of the house. He is so good to me that way, ensuring that I have time for myself to recharge. I went to the movies by myself which I love to do. I invited my friend Jen to come with me to see Prom Night but she revealed that she's a big baby who doesn't like scary movies so I ended up going alone. I've never gone to a scary movie before so I kept looking behind me to make sure no one was sneaking up on me. Afterwards I walked around Wal-Mart and bought myself three magazines. I kept looking around for the children, then would remember I was on my own. It felt weird. I thought about going to Second Cup to read and have a cup of tea but by then I was really tired.
Tuesday ~ Ian took the children to the local pool to give Julie a swimming lesson. Apparently it didn't go so well because she screamed and cried and embarassed Ian. He came home all red-faced and super cross. He said all the parents and lifeguards were looking at him like he was the worst parent ever. So... we won't be going back to that pool again.
Wednesday ~ Jordan had her hearing test done at the hospital and passed in both ears. The woman doing the test kept calling in her co-workers to see the "beautiful" baby. I expressed some concerns about Jordan's ears so she went and got two nurses from the NICU to check her over as well. (I am lame, I know) After that we went to pick up Ian for lunch and he was able to leave for the day so we stopped in at Fisher Price and bought a toy for Jordan and a birthday gift for a party Jules is going to this weekend. Later on we all went to a different pool so Ian could try giving Julie another lesson. It went better than the night before so we might be able to return to that place.
Today ~ I was up a lot with Jordan during the night and I was so tired this morning. It was all I could do not to snap at the kids while getting them ready. I eventually cried in the car on the way to my mother's because I was so tired. Mom took them to school so I could rest on the couch and then sent me to my old room to sleep and watched Jordan for me. I slept from 11am until 2:30 pm. GLORY! Man was I tired. After school I took the kids to the park for an hour since it was such a beautiful day. What a gift this weather has been after that long winter.
Tomorrow I am going to clean my house or die trying. Saturday Julie has a birthday party to go to and Ian's aunt and uncle are visiting in the afternoon. Sunday I think I will bring Jordan to church and I might take Jules mini-golfing in the afternoon for our girl-time. Monday the kids have dental appointments, Tuesday is an early-release day, Wednesday I am at the school to hear Julie read a bible verse on the announcements..... crazy crazy.
I am off to bed now. I hope I get a bit more sleep tonight!
Monday ~ Ian insisted that I "take the night off". I felt so bad because a) I would be leaving him with the entire herd and no help and b) I really, really wanted to get out of the house. He is so good to me that way, ensuring that I have time for myself to recharge. I went to the movies by myself which I love to do. I invited my friend Jen to come with me to see Prom Night but she revealed that she's a big baby who doesn't like scary movies so I ended up going alone. I've never gone to a scary movie before so I kept looking behind me to make sure no one was sneaking up on me. Afterwards I walked around Wal-Mart and bought myself three magazines. I kept looking around for the children, then would remember I was on my own. It felt weird. I thought about going to Second Cup to read and have a cup of tea but by then I was really tired.
Tuesday ~ Ian took the children to the local pool to give Julie a swimming lesson. Apparently it didn't go so well because she screamed and cried and embarassed Ian. He came home all red-faced and super cross. He said all the parents and lifeguards were looking at him like he was the worst parent ever. So... we won't be going back to that pool again.
Wednesday ~ Jordan had her hearing test done at the hospital and passed in both ears. The woman doing the test kept calling in her co-workers to see the "beautiful" baby. I expressed some concerns about Jordan's ears so she went and got two nurses from the NICU to check her over as well. (I am lame, I know) After that we went to pick up Ian for lunch and he was able to leave for the day so we stopped in at Fisher Price and bought a toy for Jordan and a birthday gift for a party Jules is going to this weekend. Later on we all went to a different pool so Ian could try giving Julie another lesson. It went better than the night before so we might be able to return to that place.
Today ~ I was up a lot with Jordan during the night and I was so tired this morning. It was all I could do not to snap at the kids while getting them ready. I eventually cried in the car on the way to my mother's because I was so tired. Mom took them to school so I could rest on the couch and then sent me to my old room to sleep and watched Jordan for me. I slept from 11am until 2:30 pm. GLORY! Man was I tired. After school I took the kids to the park for an hour since it was such a beautiful day. What a gift this weather has been after that long winter.
Tomorrow I am going to clean my house or die trying. Saturday Julie has a birthday party to go to and Ian's aunt and uncle are visiting in the afternoon. Sunday I think I will bring Jordan to church and I might take Jules mini-golfing in the afternoon for our girl-time. Monday the kids have dental appointments, Tuesday is an early-release day, Wednesday I am at the school to hear Julie read a bible verse on the announcements..... crazy crazy.
I am off to bed now. I hope I get a bit more sleep tonight!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Settling In
Well Miss Jordan is now 2 weeks old and we are still completely in love with her. She is a very good sleeper. Ian stays up with her at night and puts her down at 12:30am. She'll wake up around 4:30 for a diaper change, bottle and a cuddle and go back to sleep by 5am, then will wake any time between 8-10am. She LOVES to be held and we are always happy to oblige her.
Today she had several "wakeful" periods where she just stares up at me. She gave me two huge gorgeous smiles this afternoon and has a dimple! I know, I know... it's gas...but still... she just looked so happy!
Friday I took Jordan in to Ian's office for him to show her around. Everyone said she was beautiful and fussed over her. Afterwards, I went to visit my friend Jen. We intended to only be there for tea but stayed for lunch and then Jen took some pictures of Jordan. (Especially her feet. I love baby feet) After that we went to the mall and then to visit my mother, picked up the children after school, went to pick up Ian and then went to Chuck E Cheese for dinner. Busy day! Jordan was absolutely pooped.
My poor little Julie has some sort of bug. She came home from school on Thursday night with a fever and feeling sick. She crashed on the couch practically as soon as she got home. Friday she felt well enough to go to school but come Saturday was feeling sick again so she stayed in the house with Jordan and me. I kept her home from church today as well just to make sure she was rested for school tomorrow. I hate when the children are sick. They are so small.
Sam should be on cloud 9 right about now. Ian took him out this afternoon to get a new Nintendo DS since his old one died this morning. I know nothing about these game systems except that they are important to the children. Yesterday he and Ian went to Laser Quest and played a couple of games and Sam is now a member. He loved it!
That's about all the time I have to blog for now.
Until next time...
Today she had several "wakeful" periods where she just stares up at me. She gave me two huge gorgeous smiles this afternoon and has a dimple! I know, I know... it's gas...but still... she just looked so happy!
Friday I took Jordan in to Ian's office for him to show her around. Everyone said she was beautiful and fussed over her. Afterwards, I went to visit my friend Jen. We intended to only be there for tea but stayed for lunch and then Jen took some pictures of Jordan. (Especially her feet. I love baby feet) After that we went to the mall and then to visit my mother, picked up the children after school, went to pick up Ian and then went to Chuck E Cheese for dinner. Busy day! Jordan was absolutely pooped.
My poor little Julie has some sort of bug. She came home from school on Thursday night with a fever and feeling sick. She crashed on the couch practically as soon as she got home. Friday she felt well enough to go to school but come Saturday was feeling sick again so she stayed in the house with Jordan and me. I kept her home from church today as well just to make sure she was rested for school tomorrow. I hate when the children are sick. They are so small.
Sam should be on cloud 9 right about now. Ian took him out this afternoon to get a new Nintendo DS since his old one died this morning. I know nothing about these game systems except that they are important to the children. Yesterday he and Ian went to Laser Quest and played a couple of games and Sam is now a member. He loved it!
That's about all the time I have to blog for now.
Until next time...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
So Excited!!
Today I heard the best news! I wish I could go into it here but I can't. It's sooper sekret.
Congratulations, my friend. God is so good, is He not? He knows the deepest desires of our hearts and He works for the good of those who love Him.
I am so pleased for you. Let the fussing begin!!
Congratulations, my friend. God is so good, is He not? He knows the deepest desires of our hearts and He works for the good of those who love Him.
I am so pleased for you. Let the fussing begin!!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Report Card Time & Stuff
The children brought home their report cards today and Samuel surprised me by bringing home a C+ and being very cavalier about it. He is a mostly A student so this was very surprising. A few of his grades have gone down but only by a smidge. I think he has gotten very comfortable with being a top student and perhaps hasn't been putting forth the effort to maintain his good grades. All in all, it's still a really good report card and he will still be rewarded for his hard work.
Julie's report card was terrific. Her grades either went up or stayed the same and she is now a mostly A student as well. Her conflict resolution and cooperation has gone up as well. I'm really pleased with her because she took her work and behaviour seriously enough to improve on them. She will be rewarded as well.
Tonight Ian is taking Sam and Jules to the swimming pool to start teaching Julie how to swim. We bought her a new bathing suit as a bribe. (Some bribe... she needed a new one anyway!) She is not thrilled about the lesson, but very thrilled about her new bathing suit. She doesn't like to get her face or hair wet at all and she is scared about going under water. Sam has become a little fish and is looking forward to helping Ian teach Jules. It's so sweet to hear Sam encouraging Julie that she can do this.
Jordan had a rough night last night. She is all stuffed up and Ian sat with her in the bathroom with the shower running for as long as he could stand it, and we ran the vaporizer all night next to her crib but she was still stuffed up. She was very fussy today, wanting to be soothed and cuddled constantly. She hardly slept or ate at all. I gave her a bath in the late afternoon and she is now sleeping peacefully in her swing. I hate that she is under the weather when she is only a week and a half old. I might take her to the doctor. She also has a gooey eye too, which I think is a blocked tear duct. (She cried tears yesterday! So cute) If she has another night like last night I will try to get her in to see the doctor.
I am tired, but a good tired. I love my life. I love that I am at home even though my house is a complete disaster. I have the energy to do something about it, but Jordan needed all my focus and attention today. Tomorrow is another day!
Julie's report card was terrific. Her grades either went up or stayed the same and she is now a mostly A student as well. Her conflict resolution and cooperation has gone up as well. I'm really pleased with her because she took her work and behaviour seriously enough to improve on them. She will be rewarded as well.
Tonight Ian is taking Sam and Jules to the swimming pool to start teaching Julie how to swim. We bought her a new bathing suit as a bribe. (Some bribe... she needed a new one anyway!) She is not thrilled about the lesson, but very thrilled about her new bathing suit. She doesn't like to get her face or hair wet at all and she is scared about going under water. Sam has become a little fish and is looking forward to helping Ian teach Jules. It's so sweet to hear Sam encouraging Julie that she can do this.
Jordan had a rough night last night. She is all stuffed up and Ian sat with her in the bathroom with the shower running for as long as he could stand it, and we ran the vaporizer all night next to her crib but she was still stuffed up. She was very fussy today, wanting to be soothed and cuddled constantly. She hardly slept or ate at all. I gave her a bath in the late afternoon and she is now sleeping peacefully in her swing. I hate that she is under the weather when she is only a week and a half old. I might take her to the doctor. She also has a gooey eye too, which I think is a blocked tear duct. (She cried tears yesterday! So cute) If she has another night like last night I will try to get her in to see the doctor.
I am tired, but a good tired. I love my life. I love that I am at home even though my house is a complete disaster. I have the energy to do something about it, but Jordan needed all my focus and attention today. Tomorrow is another day!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
So In Love
Yesterday I spent the day home alone with Jordan, just cuddling her. It is amazing to me how the hours just slipped by and all I was doing was loving her.
At one point I noticed my cheeks were wet and I realized I was crying in gratitude for her presence in my life. I have tried many times to thank God for her, for keeping her safe, for answering all my prayers for her and for being in every single detail. But the words don't come. All I can do is just trust that He knows my heart and the praise, love and gratitude within. He is so good to me.
She is such a sweet baby, so warm and cuddly. She calms at my touch and rarely cries. She is sleeping for 4 1/2 stretches through the night, waking only for a diaper change and a bottle. She is such a blessing.
At one point I noticed my cheeks were wet and I realized I was crying in gratitude for her presence in my life. I have tried many times to thank God for her, for keeping her safe, for answering all my prayers for her and for being in every single detail. But the words don't come. All I can do is just trust that He knows my heart and the praise, love and gratitude within. He is so good to me.
She is such a sweet baby, so warm and cuddly. She calms at my touch and rarely cries. She is sleeping for 4 1/2 stretches through the night, waking only for a diaper change and a bottle. She is such a blessing.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Early Days
It's so hard to believe that Jordan is only a few days old. It feels as though she has been with us forever. Well, she *has* been with me for 9 months, but I think you know what I mean. We love having her here so much.
Her first night home was so fun. We were all tripping over one another to take care of her. She woke a fair bit during the night for cuddles and we were more than happy to oblige her.
Ian was home yesterday and I'm going to call it as I saw it - he was hogging the baby. If her diaper needed changing, he did it. If she fussed, he got her. If she was hungry, he fed her. UGH. *I* wanted her! LOL.
I ran a few errands in the morning then my mom dropped by in the afternoon to see Jordan. Then the kids came home and wanted to hold her. I thought for sure I would get her once they went to bed but NO... Ian had her again! Sigh. I actually thought about breastfeeding JUST so she would be mine alone. How selfish is that???
I finally got her all to myself, cuddled, changed and fed her at midnight. She slept until 4:30 then woke for a diaper change and a feeding and put her down again at 5am and she slept until 7:30! I felt so rested. Ian asked if I had to get up with her much during the night and I was happy to report how well she had done.
Jordan's cord stump came off today. Very early I must say. Mom and I took her to the doctor for her 48-72 hour check up. Dr L said she was PERFECT and didn't need to come back until her one month appointment. She is now 8lbs 4 oz but it's normal to lose a bit of weight in the early days. We talked all about germs and vaccinations. I felt like a first time mother all over again. She didn't like him poking and prodding her and cried and turned beet red. I felt all proud when Dr L told me that I did a great job throughout my pregnancy and that he heard I was great during the delivery.
I just have to insert this while doing a happy dance - three pregnancies and three deliveries and no hemorrhoids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom and I took Jordan to meet my aunt then went out for a girl's lunch. My inlaws came at 5pm to visit and even brought dinner!
That's it for now....
Her first night home was so fun. We were all tripping over one another to take care of her. She woke a fair bit during the night for cuddles and we were more than happy to oblige her.
Ian was home yesterday and I'm going to call it as I saw it - he was hogging the baby. If her diaper needed changing, he did it. If she fussed, he got her. If she was hungry, he fed her. UGH. *I* wanted her! LOL.
I ran a few errands in the morning then my mom dropped by in the afternoon to see Jordan. Then the kids came home and wanted to hold her. I thought for sure I would get her once they went to bed but NO... Ian had her again! Sigh. I actually thought about breastfeeding JUST so she would be mine alone. How selfish is that???
I finally got her all to myself, cuddled, changed and fed her at midnight. She slept until 4:30 then woke for a diaper change and a feeding and put her down again at 5am and she slept until 7:30! I felt so rested. Ian asked if I had to get up with her much during the night and I was happy to report how well she had done.
Jordan's cord stump came off today. Very early I must say. Mom and I took her to the doctor for her 48-72 hour check up. Dr L said she was PERFECT and didn't need to come back until her one month appointment. She is now 8lbs 4 oz but it's normal to lose a bit of weight in the early days. We talked all about germs and vaccinations. I felt like a first time mother all over again. She didn't like him poking and prodding her and cried and turned beet red. I felt all proud when Dr L told me that I did a great job throughout my pregnancy and that he heard I was great during the delivery.
I just have to insert this while doing a happy dance - three pregnancies and three deliveries and no hemorrhoids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom and I took Jordan to meet my aunt then went out for a girl's lunch. My inlaws came at 5pm to visit and even brought dinner!
That's it for now....
She's Here - Part 2
Where was I... oh yes, Michelle asked me if iI wanted Jordan on my chest. I was SO thrilled to have that opportunity. Sam and Julie both had issues when they were born so I didn't get to see them for a bit. One of my (many!) prayers was that I would be able to have her right away.
I nearly fell off the bed when they said she was 8lbs 9oz. I was expecting another 7lb baby! We took lots of pictures and passed her around then my mom headed home. Ian headed off shortly afterwards so he could go home and be there when the children woke up so he could tell them their new sister had arrived.
I was moved to a private room about three hours after her birth. I wanted to upgrade to a private initially because the idea of sharing a room and bathroom with some woman's husband was freaking me out a bit. The only room they had was a private so I was all over that. I'm so glad too, because babies were crying everywhere.
Ian came back with the children around 10:30 and it was so precious to see them meeting her. Sam held her first and told Ian it was the happiest day of his life. Julie held her next and marveled at how small everything was. Ian took Sam for a tour of the main floor of the hospital and checked out the gift shop and Tim Horton's, then came back and took Julie for a bit for the same tour. All in all they stayed about four hours before heading off.
I had tons of visitors throughout the afternoon and I was so exhausted by the time visiting hours were over. It's really hard to get any rest in that hospital - nurses kept coming in for some reason or another. Jordan had a bit of a rough night. She was fine to sleep as long as I was holding her, but I was so tired myself, so once I thought she was sleeping I'd lay her in her crib only to have her wake up. She just wanted to be cuddled, I think.
The nurse that was assigned to me kept coming to my room every time Jordan cried. I was always doing something wrong: over feeding her, under feeding her, wrapping her wrong, changing her diaper wrong, I shouldn't have music playing, on and on and on. Finally I took her for a walk and this same nurse tracked me down and scolded me for leaving the ward. I almost called Ian at 3:30 in tears because she was bothering me so much, but I knew if I did he'd be at the nurse's station at 6am ready to rip her a new one. So I just let it go.
Said Nurse took Jordan at 7am for some bloodwork and then scolded me for a) not sleeping while she was gone (didn't know I was supposed to) and b) for opening a new bottle when she just fed and changed her (ok, didn't know you were going to do that, but thank you). I called Ian to let him know I could leave at 9am and was SO glad to see him and the kids again. Julie missed having me at home.
So there you have it... believe it or not, a shortened version of my lovely daughter's birth story. We are all so happy to have her home.
I nearly fell off the bed when they said she was 8lbs 9oz. I was expecting another 7lb baby! We took lots of pictures and passed her around then my mom headed home. Ian headed off shortly afterwards so he could go home and be there when the children woke up so he could tell them their new sister had arrived.
I was moved to a private room about three hours after her birth. I wanted to upgrade to a private initially because the idea of sharing a room and bathroom with some woman's husband was freaking me out a bit. The only room they had was a private so I was all over that. I'm so glad too, because babies were crying everywhere.
Ian came back with the children around 10:30 and it was so precious to see them meeting her. Sam held her first and told Ian it was the happiest day of his life. Julie held her next and marveled at how small everything was. Ian took Sam for a tour of the main floor of the hospital and checked out the gift shop and Tim Horton's, then came back and took Julie for a bit for the same tour. All in all they stayed about four hours before heading off.
I had tons of visitors throughout the afternoon and I was so exhausted by the time visiting hours were over. It's really hard to get any rest in that hospital - nurses kept coming in for some reason or another. Jordan had a bit of a rough night. She was fine to sleep as long as I was holding her, but I was so tired myself, so once I thought she was sleeping I'd lay her in her crib only to have her wake up. She just wanted to be cuddled, I think.
The nurse that was assigned to me kept coming to my room every time Jordan cried. I was always doing something wrong: over feeding her, under feeding her, wrapping her wrong, changing her diaper wrong, I shouldn't have music playing, on and on and on. Finally I took her for a walk and this same nurse tracked me down and scolded me for leaving the ward. I almost called Ian at 3:30 in tears because she was bothering me so much, but I knew if I did he'd be at the nurse's station at 6am ready to rip her a new one. So I just let it go.
Said Nurse took Jordan at 7am for some bloodwork and then scolded me for a) not sleeping while she was gone (didn't know I was supposed to) and b) for opening a new bottle when she just fed and changed her (ok, didn't know you were going to do that, but thank you). I called Ian to let him know I could leave at 9am and was SO glad to see him and the kids again. Julie missed having me at home.
So there you have it... believe it or not, a shortened version of my lovely daughter's birth story. We are all so happy to have her home.