End of the Weekend Rambling Thoughts

My four days at home are over. Back to work tomorrow.

I completely forgot about my job while I was home. For the life of me I can't remember my password to log into my computer. Tomorrow morning should be interesting.

Ian and Sam had a fantastic time at FanExpo. I'm so glad they went and had that guy-time together. Ian brought home tons of stuff for the children.

And for me.

Like Lou Ferrigno's AUTOGRAPH!!!

Eeeeee!!

Ian won lots of stuff too, and met several actors he likes. And saw the DeLorean from the Back to the Future movies.

I loved pretending I was a stay-at-home mom again. I've done so many loads of laundry this weekend that I've lost count. Of course I left my own to the very end, and now I can't go to sleep until the last load goes in the dryer.

Oh Kate.

I went through the Littles' clothes and pulled out all their outgrown stuff and washed and put away all the next sizes. I have two big bags plus a box for donation. Usually I cry when I do this task, but this time around I didn't feel a thing.

Matthew is walking more and more on his own. Sometimes he pushes my hand away and tries to go longer on his own. Today he fell against the corner of the coffee table and banged his eye. He's no worse for the wear, and his eye looks just fine.

I managed to break two glasses in one day.

We've found a second car that we'd like to buy. Hoping to nail that down this week.

Julie had some one-on-one time with my mom last night. They baked cookies and brownies together. She's so thankful for that special time with her Gram. I am too.

The children have one last week of summer vacation left. I hope at the end of it they will feel rested for their return. Sam will be entering the 8th grade, Julie is going into the 6th grade and our Jordan, as you know, will be starting junior kindergarten. I'm very happy that their school is one of the few remaining schools that offer half-day classes for JK. A full day of school for a small four year old is too much in my opinion.

I'm feeling very heavy hearted tonight. Life feels backwards. I feel in my heart that I belong at home, yet I'm not. Ian longs to be back working, but he isn't. We each want to be in the other's shoes.

Always, always, always....we are grateful for this new life. Thankful for this chance to rest and breathe and start over. We never would have made it to this place without God's grace, mercy and provision. The wait was long and painful and scary, but He brought us to a place we never could have imagined.

Time for bed.

5QF ~ August 24

 

It's Friday afternoon and the sun is streaming in through every window. I am at home, and I am happy. Ian and Sam are attending FanExpo and I took yesterday and today off work to hold down the fort here.

 

I've missed this so much more than I could ever express. This is where my heart is. Changing diapers, fixing peanut butter sandwiches, wiping noses, serving juice, putting littles down for their naps. I'm just soaking it all in.

 

Happy.

 

Last weekend I took the children shopping for back to school stuff. It didn't take Jordan very long to get into the swing of clothes shopping. For the most part her clothes are either hand-me-downs, which I'm fine with, or given as gifts. It was fun to see her choosing things she liked and wanted to wear. Sam found a cool pair of shoes and a couple of shirts, and Julie chose a couple of lightweight sweaters and a tank to wear underneath. Jordan found her much dreamed of, overly talked about, backpack. I think you could have heard her "that's the one Mom!" all through the mall. Apparently I'm the best mom ever for buying it.

 

Every time I stood at the cash register to pay, I was reminded of how different last year's back to school shopping was, and that Texas sized knot in the pit of my stomach as I worried about how I would pay the credit card bill. I am so thankful for the financial freedom we have now. We didn't go overboard, but it was a sweet relief to know I could buy them what they needed.

 

After nineteen years together as a single-car couple, Ian and I are now actively searching for a second car.  We need something to get me to and from work that is easier on gas, so that Ian will have the van to take the children to and from school and for errands. We've looked at a few used ones and have a rough idea of what we want and what we don't want. I said I wanted something with four doors, didn't stink, and wasn't silver, gold or yellow.

We checked out a couple of lots yesterday and one was really, really run down. One car we looked at nearly knocked me over by the smell when Ian opened the door for me to get inside. "No." I said, looking at him. I wasn't even concerned with my manners, I was so grossed out. I fell in love with a two door, bright yellow (two of my "no" items on the list) Sunfire. The longer I sat in it, the more it seemed like the best idea ever. I wasn't thinking about whether it was practical, or that I'm old, or that I have a herd of children. Ian wasn't saying anything and then I asked, "Oh my gosh, am I having a mid-life crisis??" He didn't sugar coat his yes.

Whew. That was close.

 

Julie signed up for dance classes starting next month. She's been wanting to take a hip hop class for ages now, so I'm really happy she can do it now.

 

In just a couple of weeks, both Sam and Julie will be going away on the junior high youth retreat with Ian and the youth group. It'll just be the littles and me. 7pm bedtimes for all of us!!

 

Matthew hasn't walked on his own again, the lazy bum. He does, however, love to walk holding on to my hand. Such a sweet boy.

 

Ok, time for Five Question Friday and then I'm off to play with my littles in the backyard!

 

    1. If you could have been (could be) any profession you wanted (brains and $$$ no problem) what would it be?

I used to want to be a lawyer when I grew up. But if I had pursued that career, I wouldn't have the life I have now, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that for the world.

2. How often do you clean out your car?

Never. However, Ian and the big kids do it every week or so.

3. Do you wish there was such a thing as fashion police or are you deeply relieved?

There needs to be some sort of fashion police fo sho.

Socks and sandals? Strapless dresses with bra straps? Invisible bra straps? Jeggings?

Oh yes. We need some sort of control here, people.

4. What's your go to food/drink/activity when stressed?

There is something about a hot cup of tea that just makes life better.

5. If you had twins, what would you name them?

Names I love right now are Amy and Joe.

That's it! Head on over to Mama M's blog My Little Life to join in on the fun and meet some other awesome bloggers!

Big Day

Today was very exciting at our place - Matthew took his first steps!

I had just arrived home from the office and immediately went to see him in his playpen. Ian said Mattie had the beginnings of a cold so I wanted to check him out and cuddle him for a bit. He was so squirmy so I put him down to walk him around a bit but he let go of my fingers and took a couple of steps toward Ian all by himself.

!!!

He's brilliant!!

Of course, as soon as he realized he was going solo he dropped to his knees, laughing. I stood him up again and he took a couple more steps before sitting down. He looked mighty pleased with himself.

I was so afraid that I would miss his first steps while I was at work, but not two minutes after arriving home, he did it. My friend Laura said it was as though he was waiting for me.

Such a sweet, unexpected, blessing tonight.

He's certainly a busy boy when he's just crawling.... but once he gets the hang of this walking thing... look out Mama!

5QF ~ August 17

I'm so excited it's Friday and I get to be home with the family for two whole days. I'm going to putter my heart out, and play with and love on my children. Next week will be a short one for me as I'm only working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Ian and Sam have tickets to a four day conference so they'll be going back and forth every day and I need to be here with the other three kids. I'm going to love every minute of it, and I'm going to pretend I'm a stay at home mom again. Oh how I miss that life.

Tonight Sam and Julie are at a movie all nighter at youth group. I don't think Julie will make it past midnight, and I'm guessing Sam will drop by 3am. Ian is there until midnight helping to supervise.

The littles and I had a quiet evening together. Matthew played in his playpen and Jordan curled up next to me and played with her DS while I read my book. I'm currently reading a memoir by Brenda Warner and it really has my interest. I must have been quite wrapped up in it because at one point I looked up to see that Mattie had fallen asleep in his playpen with his sweet arms wrapped around his stuffed puppy, and Jordan was sleeping next to me on the couch. I let them sleep like that for a short while and just enjoyed the calm quiet and togetherness. I've been craving some of that for awhile now and I really enjoyed it.

Matthew's new game is to drop something and say "uh oh" and look at me expectantly. I give him back what he wants and he repeats it. That game got old fast with kid #1 and here I am still playing it with #4!

I had two really good visits with my mom this week. I just love being with her. Sam often comes with me when I go over and loves to tell my mom funny stories and jokes to make her laugh. He says he loves going there because her house is like his second home. Last night he got talking about the special bond he feels he has with her and that just warms my heart. So much love in our family.

For the last couple of weeks I've been setting my alarm for 6:15am each morning so I can do all the things I need to do without rushing around. I'm loving the extra time to shower and dress, do my hair and pack my lunch. I even have time to sit quietly and do my daily devotions. I bought Jesus Calling about a month ago and I love it. Often I will be struck by a particular day's devotion because it will address something on my heart or that I'm struggling with. I find that setting aside quiet time with the Lord first thing really helps me feel more connected to Him as I go about my day.

Ok! It's time for Mama M's Five Question Friday blog hop!

   

1. What's the one thing you buy every time you walk into the store?

Milk! We can't keep milk in the house. There are six of us that drink it and we go through almost a bag every day.

I also love fresh strawberries. I cut them up and mix in some Splenda to take to work for dessert every day at lunch.

2. If you had a day all to yourself how would you spend it?

I'd sleep in until 8, then have my tea and breakfast on the back deck while doing my devotions. I'd putter around the house, enjoying the quiet. I'd read a bit, nap a bit, and putter some more.

3. Are you a speed limit driver? If not, over or under?

I always drive the speed limit on the highway which is 100 km. It makes me twitchy when people tell me I have to drive 110 or more "to keep up with the flow of traffic". Just because everyone else is speeding doesn't mean I have to. I've yet to get a speeding ticket and I'd like to keep it that way.

I have been known to speed on country roads when no one else is around. I'll speed a little if I think I'm going to be late, and I might drive slower if I'm headed somewhere I don't particularly want to go.

4. What's your favorite dessert to make, homemade or from a mix??

Cake balls are a family favourite and so easy to make. I haven't had any extra time to make them in the last four months since I've been back to work and let's just say, the natives are growing restless.

I love to make Skor Squares because they're so quick and simple to make and everyone loves them.

And I love to make cupcakes and decorate them with high frosting and just watch the children enjoy them.

 5. Would you rather have a spider or a mouse scurry across your face (no copping out and saying "neither!!")?

Oh my word that's just so gross. I'll say spider because maybe it would be a skinny spider and I wouldn't feel it running over me. A mouse would surely cause my sudden death from fright. And grossed-out-ness.

That's it for me! Head on over to Mama M's blog My Little Life to join in on the fun!

   

Wordless Wednesday

Every Day I See This

Every morning I come into the office and see this.

It irrates my OCD.

Ahh....much better.

Friends

Julie has been longing to make some new friends

here in our new neighbourhood.

Looks like she's been pretty successful, don't you think?

Late Again With My Five Question Friday

It's a slow, rainy afternoon here, a perfect day to curl up on the couch and blog. We're all doing our own things right now but will be heading shortly. Sam is meeting some of his friends at the mall, I am going to a memorial service, and Ian has a magic show.

This week was very busy for me. I went in to the office early a few mornings and stayed late a few afternoons. There is always so much work to do and never enough time to do it all. I try not to get too stressed by it all and remind myself I can only do what I can do and that tomorrow is another day, but I`m starting to feel it.

The company I was temping at while I was pregnant with Matthew called me this week. They wanted to know if I could go back to work for them on contract until the end of August. It's very flattering that they still think of me a year and a half later, when I only worked for them for six months in the first place. I said no. I am compensated exceptionally well where I am and I would be crazy to give that up.

Julie, Sam and I saw the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie on Thursday night. So cute. I loved being with them and we all enjoyed it. It was nice to hang out with my big kids and be able to focus solely on them.

Yesterday I woke up with such a happy heart. I am so grateful for where we are right now, and for the rest we`ve been able to enjoy. I never thought that after having everything stripped away one by one, that I would end up so peaceful.

This morning mom and I went to bingo. We didn`t win anything but I enjoyed being with her. I need to learn to talk less while at bingo. Well, frankly I could learn to talk less in all areas of my life but we don`t need to go there right now.

Once again I`m late with my answers for Five Question Friday but I`m doing it anyway.

  1. Thunder storms- love them or hate them?

I love them. If I can, I like to sit on the porch to watch them. I love the smell of rain.

2. Do your kids get back to school clothes?

Yes. I used to buy them all new wardrobes for school but then I realized how crazytown that was and now they get a new outfit each for the first day. If there are things they need they always get them but I`ve toned it right down. Jordan will need some new things, and shoes for all, but that`s it.

3. Do you golf? Do you watch it?

I don`t golf. I tried it once, it was more than enough, and you`ll never catch me doing it again. Ever. I don`t get the allure of it at all. You hit the ball (hopefully in the right direction), walk walk walk to get it, then you hit it away from you again. Fer dumb. And it`s crazy expensive. In my opinion golf is a colossal waste of time and money.

I don`t watch it on tv either. To me that would be as exciting as watching paint dry.

I  love watching Ian (who is an amazing golfer) at the driving range, and could sit there watching him for hours.

Golf  carts are fun though.

4. Showers or baths?

Definitely showers. Baths are like sitting in a tub of dirty water. That you then wash yourself with. And just sitting there with nothing to do. I like the occasional bubble bath but that`s it.

5. What's the strangest meal you ever ate?

I make a point of not eating strange food. I did try calamari once and I`m still grossed out.

That`s it for me - enjoy your Saturday!

End of the Long Weekend

It's the end of the long weekend and I'm refusing to go to bed, because once I wake up it will be time to get ready for work and the rush-rush of my day will take over. I've enjoyed these slow days with my peeps.

Yesterday I went to visit my mother for a bit. My aunt leaves this Wednesday and I'm so sad about that. I feel as though I hardly got to see her this time around and I hate that. She says she understands, between the move, working and my little people. Still...

Last night the girls and I headed over to the park so see if there were any kids for Julie to meet. She's so lonely here. Finally I texted Ian and he came to join us, got a basketball game started and before long he had five kids playing. Julie ended up meeting another girl close in age and they spent the next hour talking and laughing.

I can't remember if I wrote about the single mother I met at the park last Sunday. She has three children, the youngest with Down Syndrome and blood cancer. I was really hoping that I'd run into her again last night and I did. We spent quite a bit of time talking together while our kids played with each other. I'm praying that God will be able to use me to give this new friend some comfort or support.

Julie, Jordan and I went to Lowes tonight to pick out some flowers for the back deck but they were closing early because of Civic Day. So we decided to drop by our old neighbourhood so Julie could say hello to the friends she's been missing for so long. I knew it wasn't going to be a good thing for me to see the house but I wanted to make Julie happy. Turns out no one was around so it was kind of a bust. I slowly drove past the house and my stomach started to hurt. It still feels like ours and now some stranger was living in it. I just felt so sad and displaced. I have always had such a hard time letting go of people, places and things. While I feel a sense of freedom being gone from there, I also feel great sadness. So many memories.  I'm not going to go back for awhile, maybe not ever. Ian said he would take her there whenever she wanted to see her friends. You know, I still feel sad when I drive past the house I lived in until I was fourteen. And when my mother sells her house I likely will never drive down that street again.

My attachment to things is really unhealthy. I must do something about that, because they're just things.

Last week my friend gave birth to her sweet son on the same day another friend's sweet father passed away in India after a four month long illness. I only met him once but I sensed his kindness immediately.  So many people I care about are hurting these days and I am at a loss as to how to help them. Life can really hurt.

I've rambled long enough. My load of laundry is almost finished drying and I need to settle myself down so I can go to sleep. This will be a busy week.

My Late Five Question Friday

It's a long weekend for us here in Canada and I'm happy to be home with my family for three whole days.

 

I can hardly believe we are into August now and the summer is half over. This time next month the kids will be getting ready to return to school. Sam will be going into the 8th grade, Julie into the 6th and Jordan will be starting Junior Kindergarten. Our school is one of the few Catholic schools left that are still offering half day classes. All the others have moved to full-day which I don't like.

 

We had Willow fixed this week. We held off doing so because we had been approached by an acquaintance about using Willow for stud service. We ended up not doing that, and so we had him fixed. Ian had found a lump on Willow's tail and so the vet removed it at the same time. Because the tail is a sensitive part, the vet couldn't close the wound after he cut off the cyst, so he had to leave it open and wrap it with dressings. He said the last time he closed that type of wound, he did it too tight and that dog ended up losing circulation in his tail and the tail had to be amputated. So, Willow spends his days working at the dressings until he gets them off, I see the open wound and practically barf and Ian wrestles him to re-dress it. Fun times.

 

In case you were wondering what all the cheers and squeals of excitement coming from our house this week were all about, I'll tell you. Jordan is fully daytime and night time potty trained!! She hasn't worn a pull-up in almost two weeks. YEEHAW!

 

Thursday evening I went out to see Step Up Revolution at the movies. SO GOOD. Then we stood in the parking lot and talked forever. It was midnight when I got home.

 

I'm hanging in at work but my workload is growing constantly. There is a lot of pressure to produce and it's really getting stressful. I don't enjoy being a working mother. I never was very good at it, and this time around isn't any different. I'm mentally exhausted by the time I get home and I don't feel as though I have much left to offer my family at that point. It's sad. I'm sad. I just wish I could be at home with the children, cooking and cleaning and doing laundry and playing with them in our awesome new backyard. I hate how wrung out I feel. But in the midst of all my emotions, I remain thankful for the provision of this job. I am paid very well for what I'm doing, and I have my manager's respect and support. Those things are huge and I'm grateful for them. And my co-workers laugh at my jokes, so that's awesome.

 

Today I unpacked all of my books and clothes, and set up my desk. I figured it was time, you know, since we've been here a month now. Sometimes it feels like home, sometimes it doesn't. Hopefully now that my things are put away I'll feel a little more rooted. I love everything about this house. I just need to feel more settled. This week I started missing our old house. Everything there was safe and comfortable. Familiar.

 

Matthew calls for me only when he's upset, and he calls me MaMaMa. So cute. He's currently drinking milk and eating a little piece of brownie and is happy as a clam.

 

Julie has been busting her butt around the house this past week and helping Ian with his errands. Sam is loving his new contacts and can now put them in on the first try.

 

I'm hoping to visit with my mother tomorrow. I haven't seen her since she was here on Tuesday and I'm missing her.

 

I'm late for Mama M's Five Question Friday but I still want to participate so here goes. If you click on the button below you will be taken to her awesome blog.

    1. What is a must in a hotel room?

It has to be clean and not have any bugs.

I used to LOVE staying in hotels but then I watched an expose on Dateline and they told me all about the grodiness that goes on in hotels. Like the comforters only get washed once every six months. And they used infra-red lighting or whatever and you WOULD NOT BELIEVE what showed up on the carpets and walls. GRODY. And they showed a clip of the maid rinsing out the glasses... not washing them, just running them under water and putting them upside down to dry. So gross.

So now I pull the comforter and the blanket right off the bed so I don't get anyone else's DNA on me, only use the glasses if they are the pre-wrapped plastic ones and I wear my shoes until the final moment before I get into bed.

Thanks a lot for ruining hotel life for me, Dateline.

A dark room is always good too.

2. Which Olympic event would you be best at?

If worrying, napping or sarcasm were events, I would win gold in all three.

3. What's your stance on the Chick-fil-A subject?

Well you can add CFA to the list of awesome things we don't have here in Canada. I hear their food is awesome.

I am 100% in support of Dan Cathy's right to state his religious beliefs and I am beyond disgusted that he has been attacked for doing so. He is not a gay-hater.  He simply believes that marriage is between a man and a woman, which is a part of his faith. He does not fund gay hate groups. I researched a bit about him and he financially supports different family and marriage ministries that are in line with his beliefs. If he is a true Christian then he is called to love God and to love others. ALL others. An anyone who has a problem with anyone stating their beliefs towards homosexuality, then they need to take it up with God Himself - He's pretty clear about His stance on that. He's also exceptionally clear that He loves us deeply and longs for each of us to know Him. I'm sure He grieves watching this nonsense unfold - putting an issue like this over the hearts of others.

I read somewhere this past week that the mayor of Boston who wrote the letter that caused all this drama has backed down from his stance and admitted he was wrong to write the letter in the first place. And that Huckabee character appointing Aug 1st as CFA appreciation day? He wasn't any better.

That said, judging from the sheer number of people that went to CFA on Aug 1, Dan Cathy is far from alone in his beliefs.

We need to stop looking at from an "us vs them" mentality and just do what God asks of His children: love Him and love others.

4. One thing you said you'd never do as a parent, but totally have.

I was never going to say "because I said so" But sometimes that's the only answer I've got.

I also said I was never going to make my kids eat vegetables but I do.

And that using the tv as a babysitter thing...? Yep.

5. What's the weirdest thing you've ever found at a yard sale?

I don't like yard sales so I don't go to them. I am not interested in buying other people's junk. That said, we did score a sweet Little Tykes picnic table for the children at a yard sale we went to a couple of weeks ago that our friends had as a fundraiser. They are trying to get enough financial support to move to Bolivia for a year. I put aside my snobby ways to make sure I was there to support them. We bought some raffle tickets and I won a $150 gift card to Lowes! Good thing, we need to replace our screen door.

That's it for now. We're having a heck of a storm right now and I want to sit on the porch and smell it. I just love the smell of rain.