Traumatized

Today I was traumatized.

I decided to go to McDonald's for lunch. Not the healthiest, I know. But when a pregnant woman wants a Big Mac, just move aside.

I picked up my lunch then came back to the street my office is on. There is a hotel at the end of the street so I parked there. It was a gorgeous day and I opened my window while I listened to the radio and ate.

I was listening to Katy Perry's "ET" while eating, and was dancing a bit in my seat, waving my fry around.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bird.

A black bird.

I hate birds.

Before I knew what was happening, the bird flew into my car and was going for my fries!

I started screaming and trying to shoo the bird away but he started freaking out.

His grody wings were flapping all over the place, his mouth pecking towards my fries.

I felt his wing touch my mouth.

MY OPEN MOUTH!

I was screaming, he was squawking and it was pure chaos.

I started trying to hit him with my McDonald's bag, all the while yelling "Get out! Shoo! SHOO! You're so gross! Why me!? AHHHH! Get out! GET OUT!"

Finally he flew out and away.

My heart was pounding and my throat was killing me from all the screaming.

I even had tears in my eyes.

I quickly closed the window and was sweating inside the car. The air conditioning doesn't work but I didn't care.

I was safe from future bird attacks.

I hate birds so much.

But he didn't get my lunch.

Oh heck no.

Mama takes care of what's hers.

The end.