I Need A Monkey

Every day, without fail, my mind drifts back to my time at the Women of Faith conference at the beginning of this month. I love that.

Even though I knew I couldn't possibly record every word spoken, I did write down as much as I could. I hoped that what I didn't get down on paper would somehow find it's place in my memory and I'd remember it in the moment I'd need it.

Dr. Henry Cloud, who wrote the book Boundaries, shared about a study he'd heard of on monkeys and stress. Apparently a single monkey was placed in a cage on it's own, and for a period of time the people conducting the study would do whatever they could to absolutely terrify and stress that poor little guy out. Noise, shaking the cage, whatever it took to get him good and scared.

When they were certain that the monkey was highly stressed and freaked out, they'd stop what they were doing and introduce one more monkey into the cage. Within minutes, that monkey calmed down by over 50%.

Within minutes.

He went on to talk about how just the act of being in a stressful situation with a buddy can cut your stress level in half. He said we should all have a monkey.

We should all have a monkey?

I thought about this for a moment. Who was my monkey? Who did I turn to when I was terrified and stressed out? Who calms me?

My first thoughts were Ian and my mom, but they'd be the first to tell me that it can't be them all the time, that I need a female friend to be able to go to when I needed support.

And you know what? I don't have one.

How sad is that??

I have serious issues with trust, and letting someone into my life - my heart - is next to impossible for me, and it takes forever. I've been burned many, many, times with friendships so I tend to just hold back now because it just hurts too much otherwise.

Yes, I know how lame that sounds.

I have been blessed with many people to love and who love me in return, but I don't have a monkey.

And I really want one.

Now I need to figure out to let my guard down and let people in. Ugh. Just the thought makes me itchy.

Very, very itchy.

How do I go about getting myself a monkey? I suppose I could scroll through my friends list on facebook and pick someone.

Or how about and ad on the board at the local grocery store?

Monkey needed. Must like to drink wine, laugh and be trustworthy.

Hmm. Needs a bit of work I suppose.

I could parlay this into a whole blog series entitled "Kate ~ Monkey Finder".

I'll let you know how things work out :-)

In the meantime, I'd love to hear about the monkeys in your life...