Today was a bit of a rough day.
I went to bed too late last night and I was really dragging this morning. I ended up leaving the house about five minutes behind schedule and arrived at the office a few minutes late. I hate that. Then my computer was giving me problems and it was a full half hour before I could fully log on and start working.
Ugh.
I spent over two hours just answering my email. It just kept coming in, more requests for back up, more problems, my Problem Pile getting bigger and bigger. I felt really overwhelmed and ended up making a few dumb mistakes. Fixable ones, but still. I was really frustrated with myself.
I realized that I felt nervous. It was my first day as an employee of the company and my negative self talk had me convinced that I was going to let them down and make them regret hiring me.
I'm grateful for this job. There is absolutely no question about that. But it feels weird to be locked into a company after being a free-agent temp for the last five years. And I really, really, miss being a stay at home mom. Since this is where God has placed me - for however long that may be - I'm choosing to bloom where I'm planted.
Saturday was so much fun. We took the children to St. Jacobs for the day and wandered around the marketplace like we had all the time in the world. Jordan rode a pony for the first time ever and she loved it. I bought tons of strawberries for $5. It was hot and crowded but we didn't care. It just felt so good to be together.
Saturday I received the sweetest blessing in the mail. I received a few dozen ADORABLY decorated sugar cookies from someone I've never met. A wonderful friend of mine nominated me for Desserts For the Deserving, a contest that a baking blog was hosting. These cookies are so cute!
Look!
I still can't get over the detail on these cookies. And the incredibly careful way they were packaged. This was completely unexpected and so wonderful. Jordan calls them "picture cookies".
Sunday was church and I was able to connect with a couple of ladies there that I don't get much of a chance to talk with normally. One really shared what was going on with her, and I was really thankful for that because now I can be more intentional about how I pray for her.
Afterwards I went to my mom's house to visit with her and my aunt. It's been much too long since I've been over there and it felt really good. Lots of laughing, so much love.
Tonight we ate dinner outside on the deck - bbq'd chicken and baked potatoes, with "picture cookies" for dessert. We've lived here for 16 days now and have yet to turn on the oven! We love bbq!
So, now that I'm going to be staying at this company for awhile, I'm going to need to buy a couple more outfits. I despise clothes shopping but it's necessary. I take Julie with me because she's my style consultant and never lets me down. Or look like an idiot.
I'm off to bed. I need to be more rested for the onslaught tomorrow, and I'm hoping to get there earlier. Hopefully tomorrow will go a little easier on me ;-)
What fun cookies! I nominated my grandparents for the same thing...I am excited to hear if/when they got them...but don't want to ask because I don't want them to know it was me! :)
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you...that you stop hearing the lies that you aren't good enough....and embrace that you are right where you are meant to be and we all do the very best we can.
Have a wonderful week!!
I hope today goes more smoothly for you. I understand what you mean about missing being a stay-at-home mom. I've been working for a year now, in a job I LOVE, and I still have days I wonder why I went back to work. Have a great one!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, lady! Sometimes I think God gives us bad days so we can appreciate the good ones. He's got your back!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping that the rest of the week has been much easier for you.
ReplyDeleteThose cookies are so adorable!
:)