Home Again

Today was Day 1 of being at home again and it was wonderful.

I woke up at 7am and after a moment's panic of "OhmygoshIoversleptandnowImgoingtobelate!!!" I relaxed and basked in the knowledge that there was nowhere I had to be today.

And it felt good.

I proceeded to lay awake for the next two hours until I could hear the children up and Sam came to get us.

This afternoon I took the children to see G-Force and Ian stayed at home with Jordan. Afterwards I picked Jordan up and we all headed over to my Mom's for a bit, then grocery shopping and home again. It felt so good to cook dinner for my family instead of being too tired/late to do so.

The last few nights we've all been playing "Buzz" on the PS3 and it's hilarious. Some of (ok, most of) the questions I have no idea as to the answers, and it kills me when the kids know them. Lots of laughs and so much better than watching a movie.

Yesterday was my last day at my placement and it was good. I felt sad about leaving, but 100x more excited. This is where I want to be and I am so thankful to be here again. Everyone signed a card for me and gave me a gift card. I was really touched.

Tomorrow is Ian's first day at his new job. He says he isn't nervous but I sure am. I hope everything goes well for him. I can't wait to see him in his suit and tie!

Garage Sale & Party Time

Today Ian had a garage sale to try to get rid of some of our un-used stuff.

Note that I said "Ian had".

At last year's garage sale Ian fired me twice before 9am. This year I just stayed out of sight and while I struggled with guilty feelings about not helping him, I had a sense that I was helping just by staying out of the way.

Sam sold some of his things and made about $47. Julie did her Lemonade/Iced Tea stand and made about $18. Not bad.

Afterwards we all headed out shopping so that I could find an outfit to wear to a party I went to tonight. I really don't have a sense of style and if it were up to me, all my clothes would be black, navy or grey.

Which, until I married Ian, they were.

Any I outfit that has colour, Ian is likely responsible for it. Anything that draws compliments...well you might as well give them to him. He is my fashion consultant.

I wandered around the store, waiting for him to show me something so I could try it on and leave. I despise shopping for clothes. I'm not sure if Julie found the outfit I eventually bought or if it was Ian, but the price was right so I tried it on. I wasn't sure about it, but Ian and the children really liked it so I bought it.

When I was showered and dressed and ready to go, Sam said "Mom, you look really, really great. I mean really." and gave me such a tight hug. Julie put her hands over her mouth and said "Oh Mom!"

Guess the outfit was a winner.

I missed my basic black.

The party was in honor of Dawn's 40th birthday. I went on my own and Ian stayed with the children. I intended to go and make an appearance, but I ended up staying for over 3 hours! I sat with Dawn's hair stylist (soon to me MY hair stylist, thankyouverymuch) and her husband and conversation and laughter flowed freely. I also met Karen who also blogs.

Dawn's mum surprised her with a trip to Vegas!

The best part? Blackjack! I won a bottle of wine for my superior Blackjack skilz!

Oh yes, Vegas here I come.

You are taking ME, right Dawn??

Update

I have to start this post with one of the most breathtaking pictures I have seen in a long while. And I am personal friends with this talented photographer.

** click on picture to view a larger image



Amazing, isn't she? Take a look at her Naturally Beautiful Photography blog to see more of her incredible work. She is so talented. One of these days I'm going to book her to take some pictures of my children.

This week has not been without entertainment.

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday training someone to take over my job. Day 1 was alright even though I didn't get the best vibe from her. Day 2 was like something from another planet. She kept leaving the reception desk for long periods of time to make personal phone calls. She expressed her displeasure at having to cover reception in addition to issuing credits, and asked if it was ok to ignore the phone.

!!!

I suggested gently that it may not be a good idea to do that, being that 50% of her job was reception after all.

She said I had "awesome conversability". When I asked what that meant she said I could speak to anyone, at any level, at any time.

Umm.... thank you?

She spotted my cell phone on the desk and asked if it was a company phone, and when would she be getting hers?

I couldn't understand half of what she said, and she would randomly say words that didn't really mean anything. I kept saying "Pardon?" and she would just look at me. Weird. I was beginning to suspect Tourette's.

She would suddenly whip out a little journal, scribble something with great fervor, then tuck it away quickly. To this very moment I want to know what she was writing about.

Poor me. I will never know.

She yawned all afternoon yesterday and kept saying she needed to speak with her father. Finally I asked her flat out, was she intending to return or was I wasting my time training her and we should just fill in time until the end of the day?

She said she was intending to return the next day, she was just waiting for her father to call her to give his permission for her to work there.

Yeah, you read that right.

Needless to say, I gave my feedback to the CFO and she did not return today.

Whew!

I did feel bad when I discovered that she left me a lovely note for me to find this morning.

A new person arrived today and I knew we were going to hit it off when she called to say she was coming but had gotten lost. (If you recall, I got lost 6 days in a row coming and going to this place) She seems like a nice young woman and is getting a good feel for what needs to be done. It's a lot of work that requires a lot of organization and it's all priority, but she seemed to feel she could handle it. I think I will only be there until Monday, maybe Tuesday.

Today was sweet. Someone gave me a bouquet of yellow daisies and someone else brought me in a plate of home baked peanut butter cookies. I won the weekly trivia contest again. (That makes three times, my friends) I went for lunch with one of my coworkers and she gave me a lovely notebook and a candle holder. I was very touched. It's nice to know that I made an impact there.

My favourite thing? My coworkers have stopped saying "Oh My God" all the time. Now they say "Oh My Gosh". Sweet.

In other news...

We are having a garage sale this Saturday. Remember last year's garage sale when Ian fired me twice before 9am? Well this year he's on his own. I thought I'd lose my mind with all the people picking over our stuff, trying to buy stuff that wasn't even for sale.

Grr!

So I am going to help Julie with her lemonade stand because she won't fire me. And then I'm going to play in the backyard with Jordan.

Saturday evening I am going to a birthday party for my friend Dawn. She will be turning 40. Never in my life have I seen someone so excited about turning 40. When it's my turn I'm going to have bloody nails from hanging on to my thirties. Just watch.

I think that covers all my news.

Catch ya later ;-)

Good Weekend

If you don't mind, I'd like to start off this post with a sigh of contentment.

SIGH.

Thank you.

My husband has a job offer and I am returning home, hopefully full time.

I am content.

And so thankful.

~~~~~~~

Friday night Ian and I went on a date. Sam and Julie went to my in laws overnight, and Jordan slept over at my mother's.

We went out for dinner.

Alone.

At a restaurant with cloth napkins.

And mood lighting.

At a table for two.

SIGH.

Afterwards we headed to the movie theatre to see GI Joe. One showing was sold out with the other filling fast. We bought tickets and headed in, only to find that there weren't two seats together anywhere. Being that we were on a date we wanted to be able to sit together so we headed back out to exchange our tickets to see The Hangover. It wasn't too bad, definitely some funny lines in it. We had a really good time.

And as much as I love my children, I was ok that they were away for the night. I've never felt that way before. I like my children under my roof at night. But this time I was ok.

~~~~~~~

Yesterday I went to pick Jordan up at my mother's and stayed to visit for the morning which I loved.

I am planning on taking Julie on our First Annual Mother/Daughter Camping Night in a couple of weeks. I've never camped on my own before but I'm not worried about it. We'll go to a family campground that lacks snakes and wild animals and, hopefully, axe murderers. Ian shared some huge doubts mild concerns about my ability to set up the tent on my own.

Disbelievinghusbandsaywhat??

I am more than a pretty face, friends, I have skillz.

Ian wanted me to do a test run on setting it up so that he could rest assured that I could do it on my own. So, he brought it to my mom's yesterday afternoon and I set it up.

In under 15 minutes.

[insert sounds of amazement, awe and appreciation here]

Was it perfect? No. But I didn't say it would be set up perfectly. I said I could set it up. And I did.

Success is so sweet.

And I packed that thing back up in probably less time, and much neater than I found it, thankyouverymuch.

~~~~~~~

Today during our church service it began to rain really hard. Ian leaned across Sam and whispered something like "If you were camping right now...there goes your tent."

But what did I hear him say?

"Your awesome tent set up was amazing and you are going to be a formidable camper. And you are extremely beautiful."

:-)

~~~~~~~

Answered Prayers

I am so excited!

Ian interviewed with a company on Friday and they offered him the position today!

I am so proud of him. I can't go into too many details as he has yet to accept the position. That will come tomorrow.

I am coming home, friends! I am so excited to be a SAHM again, and care for Ian and the children and run my home.

There are still some details to work out, but God is showing His hand, and we are so grateful.

Gotta say it again....I am so excited!!!

Zzz.....zzz...

I don't know what my problem is this weekend but I am tired.

Aside from sleeping in every morning (thanks Ian) I've had a nap every day. Last night I went to bed at 5 and woke up just after 9am this morning. Then I had a 2 hour nap this afternoon. I'm on my way to bed after this post...

I would go to the doctor to find out why I'm so tired but after having two rounds of extensive bloodwork done this year that showed nothing wrong with me, I will just have to live with it according to my doctor.

It's frustrating.

I'm really hoping that something great happens this week. I could use it.

Long Weekend

Oh how I love a long weekend.

This morning Ian let me sleep in until 10am! What a luxury.

Ian took the children to a movie this afternoon and Jordan and I stayed home and napped. Then I gave her a bath, dressed her up including bows in her hair, and we headed out to do a bit of grocery shopping. She looked so incredibly adorable and people kept stopping me to tell me what a gorgeous baby she is.

Gorgeous babies are the only kind I make, thank you very much.

We went to Mom's for Sam's birthday bbq and that was a fun time. I love spending time with my mother. My sister was there too which was nice. I don't see her very often anymore either.

Then...my favourite part. Birthday cake! Oh friends, I love me some birthday cake. We bought a small cake decorated like a piece of watermelon. Very cool.

Now I'm relaxing in my favourite recliner, sipping a steeped tea from Timmie's I got with the gift card I won this week and just feeling content.

Sweet.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Today my wonderful son turned 10.

10?

How did that happen?

Didn't he just arrive yesterday?

Oh, how the years have flown by...

Sam wanted to get up at 6am to open his gifts together so (*yawn*) that's what we did. The children climbed into our bed with us while he opened one after another until the big finale - a DSI that he had been aching for. He was beyond thrilled.

Sam chose Mc'D's for dinner and Cats & Dogs for our family movie night. He loved his Cherry Chip birthday cake, baked by yours truly.

Happy Birthday, Sam. I love you so, so much.

Alive & Kicking

Yep. That's me.

I haven't felt moved to blog lately because I haven't been feeling like myself and didn't want that to show. I feel as though I am under tremendous spiritual attack and I am tired. I don't like the way I'm feeling. My faith is being tested and and I'm failing.

More on that another time. Not today.

I won the weekly trivia contest for the second week in a row. Last week was a $15 gift card for Subway and today's prize was a $15 gift card for Tim Hortons.

Sigh.

I know. What could be sweeter??

The Bachelorette ended this week and once again I am horrifically disappointed in this show.

Say it with me, friends....

"I am never watching this show again. EVER!"

Honestly! Why on earth would Jillian pick Ed over REID!? She was almost as annoying as Bachelorette Trista. Almost.

So it's over now and I need a new show. I can't/don't want to get into Big Brother because watching a bunch of people stuck in a house together is very boring to me. Hell's Kitchen is a very angry show, so I certainly don't need that, thank you very much.

Tomorrow is Samuel's 10th birthday. How the heck did that happen?? He's such a great kid and I absolutely adore him. I just took his birthday cake out of the oven and will ice it in the morning. It'll have to be at the crack of dawn when I do it too! Sam wants to get up at 6:30am to open his gifts.

!!!

Tonight I met up with the other two Girls Club leaders to plan for our fall session. Lots of good ideas. We're going to have a Girl's Spa Day on Aug 24th and give the girls manicures and pedicures while they sip on lemon water in pretty glasses and eat pizza. "K" will prepare a devotion on what God says real beauty is, not what the world teaches us. We're going to incorporate some new things too, like a prayer box and worship time, as well as how to reach more girls with this ministry. It's going to be a great year.

I am so excited that this weekend is a long weekend. We're going to my mother's for a bbq to celebrate Sam's birthday with the family, but other than that we don't have anything going on. I'm looking forward to being with Ian and the children.

That's it for me. Over and out.

Girl's Weekend

It's just me and my beautiful girls this weekend :-)

Last night we all drove up north to the campground where Sam and Ian are camping for the weekend. The girls and I hung around while they set up camp then enjoyed a few s'mores together before heading home, leaving them to their male bonding.

The trip home should have taken us about 50 minutes.

But...

It took us about ten minutes to find our way out of the campground. We just kept driving around and around...

Then we had to stop at Dairy Queen to fortify us for the ride home. I am sure you understand the importance of such a stop.

Then there were a couple of stops to reset the dvd player so that the girls could watch another episode of Hannah Montana. (Again, I am sure you see the importance here as well)

I don't particularly enjoy driving. I don't like to drive in the dark, rain, snow, traffic, on the highways or pretty much any day ending in "y".

We made it home in about an hour and a half. Julie was waiting at the front door while I was just about to get Jordan out of her car seat when I realized I had forgotten to stop for milk for this morning.

Ahem.

We all got back into the van, went to the gas station and bought a carton of milk (which I never do because there is something about buying milk at a gas station that is about 5 kinds of wrong) and we made it back home again.

Whew!

The girls were in bed by (gulp) 11:10pm and I enjoyed a very peaceful couple of hours watching whatever I wanted to watch on tv and chatting to a friend on facebook.

But mostly I missed my boys.

(I slept on the couch so I could hear the killer when he arrived. That's right - he's not going to sneak up on ME)

Today I am taking the girls to Build A Bear and then we're going to "do lunch". Tonight we'll pull out the sofa-bed and sleep there while watching movies until we fall asleep.

Sweet.

I saw this video this morning and I loved it!



Have a great day!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am so thankful for my family and good friends who are faithfully praying for me. I haven't been myself for awhile now and I've been struggling in so many areas.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.

For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.

Psalm 40:11-13

Keep praying for me, my loved ones. I need you now more than ever.

Four Things

My temp job has been extended for another four weeks, possibly more. They don't really know how long they will need me. But they have assured me that I will be given two weeks notice. Nice.

I met up with Jen for coffee this week. I haven't done that in two months! :-( As always it felt so good being with her again. We laughed and talked and talked (and I cried, big shock).

Today Ian and I took the children to a carnival. I'd been looking forward to it since we went last July. The day started out with a torrential downpour but the sun came out and it was a gorgeous day. I even saw my childhood friend, Marilyn. Sweet.

After two or more months of looking, I finally found a new purse. Julie helped me find it. She was so patient through all of my "it's too big/too small/hate the strap/pockets/colour/shape/I hate purse shopping/I'm never going to find one I like" etc. and produced one that I loved. $100 marked down to $25. LOVE HER. My co-worker teases me about my incredibly small budget for a purse so I can't wait to show her my formerly $100 purse on Monday.

That's about it. My urge to blog is on vacation I think!

The Art of Forgiveness

I originally posted this entry on May 26th, 2008. These days I find myself struggling with forgiveness, so I thought I'd put it out there again, if only to remind myself of what forgiveness truly means.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

Yesterday I had a conversation (a highly emotionally charged conversation!) with a close friend of mine who is struggling with people who have hurt her deeply in the past, as well as those who continue to hurt her to this day. She was struggling with the concept of forgiveness and doubted her ability and willingness to do it. I completely get where she is coming from.

That conversation really got me thinking. Forgiveness is something I struggle with. Sometimes I just don't want to do it. Flat out don't want to do it. Some things just don't deserve forgiveness, right? How can we forgive someone, let them off the hook and have them think what they did was ok? If I forgive someone, doesn't that lessen my pain?

No.

What I have come to learn is that forgiveness, more often than not, has nothing to do with the person who hurt you. It's about you. It's giving yourself permission to let go and begin to heal. It isn't saying that what that person did was ok. It's simply allowing yourself to move forward.

Ian and I had to learn the art of forgiveness under incredibly difficult circumstances but don't think for a second that it came easily. We have survived a season of heartbreak that few people (I pray) will ever know. We are left with broken pieces to pick up, and forgiveness continues to be a work in progress. I prayed for warm, fuzzy feelings of forgiveness to wash over me. But they never came. I prayed for a forgiving heart. It didn't come. Finally I asked God what He wanted me to do and He softly spoke to my heart and told me to make the choice to forgive, and to trust in Him to bring the healing. So I did it. Even though every fibre of my being was screaming at me not to do it, His voice in my heart was loudest.

Last night I was doing my nightly devotions and it was about forgiveness. The author said that “forgiveness is giving up the right to punish”. That really hit me. It SO isn’t about letting the other person off the hook for what they did, nor is it telling them that you are ok with what they did. It’s giving yourself permission to move forward. There is such relief in putting down the anger and forgiving. Its so exhausting being angry, resentful and bitter.

I have many broken areas of my life that need grace and forgiveness. I have been hurt very deeply, many times. But to be completely truthful, I have hurt others as well. Sometimes more than once by doing the same things.

Another thing I have learned is that people will reap what they sow. We may not be around to see their reaping, but I know it happens. It isn't up to us to exact punishment for what someone else has done to us.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21.

I know my day will come when I am face to face with my Redeemer and I will have to account for what I have done - both good and bad. Knowing that he took the weight of my sin onto Himself and forgave me, it is impossible for me not to extend that same grace to those who have sinned against me.

My friend is beaten down by years of being hurt. She is done with it. She has tried to fight back with kindness and love but the hurt just keeps on comin'. "Why do I even bother?" she shouted at me yesterday as she cried as though her heart would break. I told her that she "bothers" because God created her to, and He put a beautiful and loving heart inside her to help her. God created her that way. Isn't that just so beautiful?

People are going to be mean. Love them anyway. People are going to hurt you. Make the choice to forgive them and trust in our Heavenly Father to heal and restore us. He will not leave us or fail us. We can count on that.

Goodbye Shannon...

This week I learned that a woman I worked with for many years - and enjoyed a close friendship with for a time - suffered a brain aneurysm on Sunday and was on life support. Shannon was taken off of life support yesterday after tests failed to show any brain activity.

I am so, so sad.

She had a smile that lit up the room, and she had one for everyone. She had a very quick wit and a warm heart.

She had a young daughter and the thought of that little girl growing up without her mother just breaks my heart.

It amazes me that a person is here one minute and can be gone the next. It really puts life into perspective, doesn't it? Death is so final. It is really making me look at my own life, at what truly matters and what doesn't. I don't want to waste my time here.

We really need to live more intentionally, don't we? To make our short time here matter.

I wonder what kind of legacy I will leave or what people will say about me when I'm gone.

What must it be like to finally be in the presence of the Lord? To be here one moment, and then to be standing face to face with Him the next? To walk with Him, talk and laugh with Him.... to even hug Him! How totally awesome that will be.

Tomorrow night I will go to say goodbye to Shannon at her viewing. As deeply sad as I am that she is no longer here on earth, I am even more excited that she is with the Lord. How could I possibly wish her back here?

I will see her again.

Goodbye for now, Shannon... until we meet again.

Black Eyed P...

As in Black Eyed Perez...

Would it be wrong to admit that I am still laughing that Perez Hilton was punched in the eye?

Because I am.

And it all went down just 40 minutes from my humble home.

Here he is... all battered and bruised.



Boom Boom Pow!

Ha ha ha...look!



Ok, that concludes my streak of meanness.

My Girls

Just a few quick pictures for today. I don't really feel up to blogging tonight. I'm in kind of a funny mood. Not funny ha-ha, just kind of "off".

I took this picture of Julie last night on our walk along the ravine with Jordan...



This is the smile I get whenever Jordan sees me. She is such a happy little girl...



This girl loves to walk! I love her curly hair...



No new pics of Sam lately. He isn't into having his picture taken these days. I'll keep trying :-)

Blur

This past week passed by in a complete blur. I can’t believe its Sunday night already.

I was expecting to finish up my temporary placement on Friday, but it has been extended again for another week, maybe two. They have hired and trained someone in Kingston and she is ready to take over. I feel sad about that and I don’t know why. I resisted going back to work – even temporarily – but over the last nine weeks I feel as though the position became mine. Year End is this week, so I will tie up as many loose ends as I can. I think I will be helping out in other areas but I don’t know for how long. Each day I work is a blessing.

Friday night rolled around with super speed. Usually it’s Family Night, but I decided that I was going to give Ian the weekend off as part of his Father’s Day celebrations. I bought a big button for him to wear that said “Off Duty”. Strangely enough, he didn’t wear it...

So not cool, Ian.

He ended up heading out for a bit on his own, which left Sam, Julie, Jordan and Yours Truly. Then Julie was invited to go out with her friend to a nearby park.

So it was Sam, Jordan and Yours Truly. Then Sam was invited to go to his friend’s house to play video games.

Then it was just Jordan and - you guessed it! - Yours Truly. Rather than stay home, Jordan and I walked over to Chapters and browsed around for a bit, then over to Second Cup where I treated myself to a Strawberry Smoothie.

Friends… I love me a Strawberry Smoothie like nobody’s business.

We headed home and picked up Sam along the way, then went to McDonald’s as Sam hadn’t eaten yet. We came home and I played with Jordan out front for a bit then came in for the night. Miss Julie rolled in around 9:30 and I put all the children to bed.

I attempted to watch a movie with Ian but I fell asleep after the opening scene.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early and headed out for an appointment at 9am. I managed to squeeze in a visit with my mother in the early afternoon then came home to get everyone ready to go out for dinner at our friends’ house. It truly was a great evening with lots of laughter, storytelling and great food.

Came home and didn’t even try to watch a movie. We were exhausted.

I had planned to serve Ian his breakfast in bed this morning in honour of Father’s Day (and let’s face it, because I’m an awesome wife) but things didn’t exactly go as planned. Sam woke me up and I headed downstairs to get breakfast started. He went to Magic’s cage to check on her as he always does first thing in the morning.

Sadly, Magic had passed away some time during the night. Sam was crushed.

I went to tell Ian and he came down to remove Magic from her cage while I held Sam as he cried. Julie came downstairs to see what the commotion was and we had to tell her what had happened. She just lay against me, with big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn’t make any noise, just silently cried.

Ugh! This is why I hate little pets! They die and make everyone sad.

I didn’t even want that darn bird, if you recall.

But my heart broke for my children.

Would it be wrong if I admitted that while I held my children I was trying to remember when we bought the bird and if we still had our receipt? (You can return them within a certain time frame if they should die) Because if it would be wrong to admit that, then you can feel free to pretend like I didn’t say anything about it at all.

After church we headed back to the pet store to buy a new bird.

Don’t even say anything about the new bird, people. We’ve already covered the fact that I am the biggest pushover ever.

So now we are the owners of a new bird named Summer. I voted to name him “Jinx” because I would get a kick out of saying “Hi Jinx!”.

Get it?

Oh I am nothing if not witty.

This afternoon I was planning on getting a head start on some housework so that Ian could relax a bit tomorrow, bake a cake for dessert, do some laundry and make a lovely dinner to honour my husband.

Then my sister called. My mother was very sick and a doctor was coming to the house to see her and did we have any Gravol?

!!!

I dropped everything and rushed out. I went to four stores until I found some then rushed over to my mother’s. She said she had been incredibly dizzy and nauseated all last evening and today and couldn’t walk or keep anything down. I stayed with her for a couple of hours until she said she started to feel better. I got her all settled and headed home.

I felt so torn. Do I stay with my sick mother or go home and celebrate Father’s Day? She was telling me to go home. Ian was telling me to stay.

Sigh.

I decided to go home for dinner and return if necessary. Julie set the table for me and did a beautiful job. She is only 8, but she knows all the niceties that go with setting a lovely table. She amazes me. I served roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn, carrots, salad and breadsticks.

Oh yes, I cook. ;-)

I didn’t get to bake the cake as planned so I threw some brownies in the oven and we had those with ice cream for dessert.

My sister called during dinner to say the doctor had been there and then proceeded to give me incorrect information. Thankfully, my mother called shortly afterwards and gave me the proper story. She has a virus and it’s already showing signs of leaving her system. My sister is staying over night in case she has a turn for the worse, and then my aunt will arrive on Tuesday for the summer, as planned.

So it’s 10:30 pm on Sunday and I just don’t know where Tues, Wednesday, Thursday, etc went.

I loved being with the children all weekend, doing things for them, fixing them lunch, making their dinner, tucking them into bed at night. I miss that so much more than I could ever, ever express here. I want to be back at home again, taking care of my family like before. God knows my heart longs for this and I trust that He has a plan for me. In the meantime, I am grateful for this job and the fun it brings.

That’s it for me. I am O-U-T.

My Wish List

You know what gets me? People who win the lottery and have no idea what they'll do with the money. When they are asked what they'll do with the money they inevitably say "I have no idea!!"

!!!

Friends, I have an idea. Several in fact. Sometimes when I can't fall asleep I will visit my wish list. It goes a little something like this..

I would...

...fill a struggling family's fridge...



...pay off the mortgage on my church...



...take my family and friends to Montego Bay Jamaica...



...buy all new pillows...



...take Ballroom dancing lessons with Ian...



...spoil myself with a Coach bag...



..a girl needs chocolate...



...I'd have more babies! (Did y'all hear Ian hit the floor?)



...we'll need a bigger house with all those babies...



..and a new ride for Mom...



..and to round out our family...



Isn't it fun to dream?

What's on your wish list?

Another Weekend Over

Another weekend down.

Why oh why do they have to pass so quickly?

Yesterday began with dramatic flair. Jordan was walking around our main level while I was filling her sippy cups in the kitchen. We had the stairs blocked off with a baby gate but She-ra Jordan just plowed right into it and fell down the entire flight of stairs.

13 steps, I believe.

Pass me the Worst Mother of the Year Award, if you please.

Ian was down those stairs faster than you can imagine. As soon as I realized she was falling I bolted from the kitchen and ran down the steps. Poor little lamb. She was scared more than anything. I held her while Ian put ice on the goose egg that was coming up on her forehead. Today she is no worse for the wear.

Honestly. There is always something going on in my house.

After that drama, Ian and I headed off to the magic shop with the children so that Ian could pick up some supplies for a booking he had this afternoon.

Did I ever tell you that Ian is a professional magician? Well he is and he's brilliant.

I enjoy going to the magic shop and the owner is always so friendly and quick to show me a new trick or two. The children love it too. Afterwards, I took Sam and Jules to see "Up" at the theatre. Sam was happy that I was taking them because he said we haven't been spending much time together since I went back to work.

Ouch.

It was nice to focus on the older children without being distracted by Jordan's needs or overall adorableness. It was a cute movie. Well, at least the parts I saw were cute. I fell asleep during it. In my defense it was dark in there...and the seats kind of reclined back a little...and I was tired (as usual) and...and...well it was a long movie.

In the evening Jordan and I walked outside together. She looked so cute in her new sundress and running shoes. She's Miss Independent and doesn't want any help while she walks. She's hardly eating anything these days. I don't know how she's surviving. She'll eat applesauce and yogurt but that's about all.

Today we skipped church and hung around the house. Jen stopped by to pick something up and we sat on my front porch talking for a bit. I haven't been getting together with her for over a month now. I miss her. Afterwards, Ian dropped us off at my mom's to visit while he headed off to do his show. It was a good visit, but as usual it went by too quickly. I miss her so much.

So here it is, Sunday night already. I feel so restless and I can't pinpoint why. I am struggling with my own wants, yet trying to be patient and trusting the Lord. I'm so human and I want what I want, when I want it.

Sigh.

Aren't we all a little like that?

Ahh well. Things are as they are.

Better get to bed. 6 am comes pretty fast.

Just A Few Things

Jordan has croup again, poor little miss. She feels so lousy and has been so fussy. Nothing is making her feel better. The last two nights have been brutal for Ian and he's feeling pretty run down. Good thing its almost the weekend so I can pitch in more and he can catch up on his rest.

Sam came home sick from school this morning. He said he laid down at 11am and the next thing he knew it was 1pm. Ian and I spent some time helping him plan his upcoming birthday party. I think he's decided to have a pool party.

Julie has certainly given new meaning to the term "Drama Queen" this week. She is "in love" with a boy in her class and didn't appreciate us telling her she wasn't allowed to have boyfriends. It's a great story and one I will save for a time when I have more energy to share it.

I saw my doctor this week to discuss my constant fatigue. He sent me for blood work but I haven't heard anything, so no news is good news. Apparently I have to just endure it.

Sigh.

I'd get a second opinion but I'm too tired.

Work continues to be incredibly busy. I still don't know how long I'm there for but that's ok. It's year end this month, so I'm sure I'll be let go after that. I feel good about what I've accomplished there, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to being at home again.

Last week I reconnected with a woman I was very good friends with back in my teens. She's married with two adorable little boys and we've been having a fun time getting reacquainted with each other. I'm hoping to get together with her sometime soon.

Today I had an M&M Frosty at work. Oh how I've missed those Frostys... It was so good.

I felt rather cheeky this evening as I did my grocery shopping at Fortinos with my recyclable A&P bags prominently displayed in my shopping cart.

:-)

And my ice cream was melting so I put it back and took a new one 'cuz that's how I roll.

That's it for me. Over and out.

Untitled For Lack Of Creativity

Lately it seems as though I've lost the blogging bug. I don't have anything earth shatteringly important to share these days, but I guess "no news is good news", right?

Yesterday Ian and I attended a memorial for a dear man from our church that passed away. He was 92 years old and lived such a life of deep faith and love for Jesus, that we can't be sad that he is gone - he is in the presence of the Lord! It was a lovely time of worship, prayer, and funny stories.

Gary came over in the late afternoon and he and Ian worked on our front yard and it looks so much better. Our children helped out and before they knew it the neighbourhood children were pitching in to help. Sweet.

Today was our church picnic and it was a lovely time. Everyone brought a salad or dessert and we had a wonderful time of fellowship while the children played and some caught frogs. (FYI frogs are really ugly when they are up close and personal) My children were absolutely filthy.

I enjoyed catching up with my dear friend Marie who I met at Coffee Hour. I knew I was missing her, but I didn't realize how much until I saw her. She is so kind, gentle and funny.

Tomorrow I have a credit meeting at 9am. I hate those meetings and I actually get quite stressed out by them. Hopefully this one will be short and sweet. I have been there 7 weeks now. I can't believe it.

I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow night after work. I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I'm still so tired all the time. I get up every day at 6am and I am in bed most nights by 930, so I shouldn't be this tired. I am sure I have mono or lupus or something worse. I just don't feel "right". Maybe its all in my head. Well, I guess I'll know soon enough.

That's it for me tonight...

High Drama In The Neighbourhood

It isn't out of the ordinary to see a police car on my street. There's always something going on in my neighbourhood. Back when my friend Anne and her family lived here, she'd keep me in the know on what happened on her side and I kept her in the know as to what happened on mine.

Anne lived on the side with all the drama. My side is pretty quiet. Well, not tonight however.

The children were outside playing with all of their friends when Sam rushing in to tell me that two of their friends were arguing - we'll call them "Bill" and "Bob" for the sake of this retelling - when "Bob's" dad came out and grabbed "Bill" with one hand and back handed him across the mouth with the other.

Oh no he di-ent.

Oh yes... he did.

Two police cars and an ambulance arrived and the street became a flurry of activity.

Now you know I went out to see what was going on. The children in this neighbourhood are forever in my backyard or on my porch - even when my own children are inside! - and I have grown fond of them. That, and I am incredibly nosey.

I did get to meet a new neighbour :-) And she has a little boy a few months older than Jordan.

I saw "Bob" and he was walking fine and smiling a little at all the attention, and they put him in the ambulance to take to the hospital. Protocol, I guess. I felt sad because no one went with him for the ride to the hospital. His mother followed with their van. I hope he wasn't scared being by himself :-(

So while I was spying making new friends, I saw the police walk to "Bob's" dad's house. By then my spying friend-making was looking a little like friend-making, so I made my way home. Sam came in to tell me that the police took "Bob's" dad away in one of the police cruisers.

Shameful.

The children are very upset at what has happened and very worried for their friend. I cautioned them that the other children might ostracize "Bob" a little because of what his dad did. I said that this would be a great opportunity to show Christ's love toward "Bob" and the other children will follow.

I also said stay the hell heck away from "Bob's" dad.

In other news, all of the grocery stores in my area - and probably the world - have begun charging for plastic bags. Ugh. I refuse to pay 5 cents for a bag! Now I have nothing to put my garbage in. Frustrating. I have a whack of reusable bags that I can't seem to remember to leave in the car.

I think they've now hired a new collector for the Kingston location. I'm sad at this placement coming to an end, but happy too, because I'd like to spend a little time at home with the kids over the summer. Whatever happens, I know God's got me.

Beginning of the end...

Today a part of my job was transferred to Kingston.

Sigh.

I feel sad because I know that my time with the company is drawing to a close.

I know what you are thinking... I fought going back to work, and I was feeling so overwhelmed, etc...

You're right.

Once again, God knew what was best for me. He provided this great job for me, with great people and allowed me to see and enjoy the fruits of my labour. I've been able to see a side of myself that I thought I'd forgotten in my stay-at-home life. Even the drive there is peaceful and lovely.

I will miss this job and the people.

I wonder what God has next for me?

Hanging Out

That's what I'm doing right now.

Ian is at the Youth Banquet tonight and the children and I are hanging out in the living room together. Sam is playing with his DS and Julie & Jordan are watching Imagination Movers. We are feeling so lazy and just enjoying being together.

This week was another busy one. So much to do and not enough time to get everything done. Meetings and interruptions...ugh...they're endless. I have an A/R meeting every Friday morning at 9am and the stress I feel while preparing for it and being in it is unbelievable. I felt so incredibly relieved when it was over. I know I'm just a temp but I really want to do a good job. Who knows where this could lead - maybe a permanent position or even just a great reference out of it. I've made some great new friends. We laugh until the tears run down our faces at least once a day. God really put me in a great spot.

Last night was Family Night and instead of Ian driving over to pick up our pizza, he and I walked over with the girls while Sam stayed behind with his friends. We popped into Second Cup for strawberry smoothies, grabbed the pizza and made it home just before the sky opened up and poured rain. Peter Pan was the feature for the evening, and true to form, I fell asleep during it. I don't think I've ever seen that movie in its entirety. I was in bed by 9:20pm and woke up at 8:30am. Sweet.

Today we all headed over to my Mom's so that Ian could repair the tree house in her backyard. Ian built it 13 years ago for our nephew and it needed some repairs badly. The children helped him outside while I visited with my mom and sister inside.

Tomorrow will consist of church, laundry and school projects. The weekends go by entirely too quickly, don't they?

Cake? Kate! Cake?

Yesterday I was going through my collection calls and spoke with someone who just could not get my name right. It went something like this:

Him: What your name?

Me: Kate

Him: Cake?

Me: No, Kate

Him: Cake?

Me. NO. Kate. K-a-t-e

Him: Ohh ok. Ok so anyway, Cake...

Sigh.

One of my last calls of the day was a really, really hard one. Obviously I cannot - and will not - go into details here, but I had to call a client and give him news that he wasn't going to like. I was given a directive to do so from the manager so I didn't have a choice and I was putting it off for a week... This guy was angry right off the bat when I identified myself and it just escalated from there. I have taken seminars and courses on how to deal with irate customers, difficult people and a few customer service courses as well. Nothing could diffuse this guy, so I just let him yell and swear. I couldn't get a word in edgewise with him. I completely understood - and agreed with - his position but there wasn't really anything I could do. I don't think I've ever felt so lousy about my line of work as I did yesterday. And no matter what, I couldn't shake it.

Today the manager told me we would hold to our original agreement. Now I have to call this guy back to tell him that we will keep things as they are, and I just know he's going to get upset again and ask why I bothered calling to begin with.

Sigh.

Poor, poor Cake....

Hello, My Name Is Kate And I'm The Biggest Pushover EVER

Yesterday Ian released Linda, the wild bird that Sam, Julie and the neighbourhood children collectively kidnapped rescued and begged me to let them keep. Ian headed out to the ravine and found a tree with a hollowed out spot in the trunk, made a comfy little nest and left Linda there. The children were so heartbroken.

Long story short - mainly because the details of this little negotiation have become somewhat disputed - we bought this for the children...



I know what you're thinking. We spoil our children.

I agree.

We could have used this experience as a key learning about the circle of life/can't always get what you want/whatever you want to put in here.

And I agree.

We already have a cat, a hamster and two guinea pigs.

Still... I caved.

Her name is Magic and she's a Budgie. Apparently she can be trained to fly only to certain spots and return to her cage, as well as say a few words.

I'll believe that when I see it.

Yes, I truly am the biggest pushover ever.

For The Love Of Pete...What A Week

I have no problem admitting that I am glad this week is over.

Wednesday was a terrible day. Just terrible.

Last week I was asked to help call some customers to advise them of any changes to their delivery days and times. Doing so caused me to fall behind, but it was high priority to the company and another woman was pulled from her duties to do the same. All in all, we spent 4 days out of 5 calling customers. We thought we were done and this week - a short week, no less - we set out to get ourselves caught up.

Then...Wednesday arrived.

Along comes the salesman to ask me to call the newly re-routed re-routes. I was told that the customers "might get a little upset".

That, my friends, was the understatement of the century. Irate would be a little closer.

My third call went from calm and friendly to off-the-charts irate in a split second. Never in my entire career have I ever been spoken to this way. I am not a wimp and I can take (and dish) a lot if needed, but this was unlike anything I've ever encountered. My eyes were burning and my cheeks were so flushed. It was all I could do not to slam the phone down in this guy's ear. The language - oh sweet mercy. That man's mama should wash his filthy mouth out.

I was emotionally spent by the time I got home and sat in my beloved recliner with a black cloud hovering over my head. I watched the American Idol finale (AWESOME) and headed up to bed.

About 11:30 I was woken up by Jordan coughing. I knew Ian was still downstairs with her, so I stayed in bed. Then I heard what sounded like choking and hurried downstairs to find Ian sitting on the floor with Jordan, patting her back. She seemed to be gasping for air and was crying so hard, coughing and choking. I ran for the phone and he called 911.

I sat with her on my lap while we waited for them to arrive. Then I realized I was...ahem...hardly dressed appropriately. I will spare you the details of me and my lingerie. I asked Ian to grab my robe for me before the paramedics came, thinking he'd bring me my fuzzy pink one. No. He brought the one that went with my nightie.

Sigh.

Within minutes my living room was filled with firemen and paramedics, and me with my hardly-appropriate-for-company nightgown. As soon as Jordan coughed, they all nodded to one another and said "Croup!"

They gave her a mask that forced ice cold mist into her nose and suggested I get dressed and pack a bag for her for the hospital. I called my mother while I dressed to let her know what was going on, because let's face it, mom's make everything seem better.

The ride to the hospital was uneventful. I sat in the back with Jordan and held the mask to her face while talking and joking with one of the medics. He was a really charming guy and I knew his entire life story by the time we got to the hospital.

One of the nurses on duty is the sister of a friend of mine, so she bumped our chart so we'd be seen by a doctor sooner. I was so grateful. A nurse gave her a treatment of Ventolin which Jordan hated. I had to hold her arms and head just so we could give it to her. My heart just broke. Finally she went limp against me and just took it. She was also given a dose of Prednisone. She curled up in my arms and fell asleep. I sat next to her and watched her. All night.

The morning brought another Ventolin mask and we were discharged just before 8am. I took her to the Tim Horton's kiosk just outside of Emergency and bought her a couple of timbits to eat while I enjoyed a Steeped Tea. We both slept all morning once we got home.

I was worried about how she would do last night but she was perfectly fine. The children had appointments to get their vaccinations today, and I called to see if Dr L could see Jordan too, just to check her out. He said all of our children are perfect and perfectly healthy.

In other news...

My placement will go for "three, maybe four more weeks". I guess this position is definitely going to Kingston. I'm trusting that God has everything worked out for what comes next. I'm going to enjoy the time I have left with my coworkers. They're so great. Today I went out for lunch with *A* and she said "everyone is so much closer since you arrived". I think that's the best compliment I've received from that place, and there's been quite a few.

Sam, Jules and the neighbourhood kids found a bird tonight, and they all begged me to keep the bird in our house.

!!!

I refused to allow them to bring the bird inside so Sam got out his old hamster cage and they made a bed for Linda (yes they named it). She is currently in her newly appointed condo, in the backyard, underneath my patio table, covered by the bbq cover. Ian had a long circle-of-life chat with Sam and Linda will be released into the ravine tomorrow.

Like I said... For the love of pete...what a week.

80 Things

I spent all last night in the ER with Jordan and while I'll post about it eventually, I'm just too tired and freaked out to do it now. She has croup and is fine for now. Please keep her in your prayers as we don't know what to expect tonight.

In the meantime...

80 Things You Didn't Know About Me Until You Read This:

Here we go...

1, What Color Is Your Toothbrush?
Yellow

2, Name One Person That Made You Smile Today?
Jordan

3, What Were You Doing At 8 Am This Morning?
Waiting for Ian to arrive to take Jordan and me home from the hospital

4, What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?
Watching the finale of Desperate Housewives that I'd taped from Sunday night

5, What Is Your Favorite Candy ?
M&Ms

6.Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yep, a few times

7, What Is The Last Thing You Said Aloud?
"Yes" to Ian

8, What Is The Best Ice Cream Flavour?
Cookies 'n Creme, Bryers

9, What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink?
Passion Fruit punch

10, What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?
26 hours

11, Have You Ever Made A Promise You Swore To Keep?
Yes, and I did

12, Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week?
No

13, The Last Sporting Event You Watched?
I don't watch sporting events

14, What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?
Plain

15, Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message To On Facebook?
Amanda

16, Ever Go Camping?
Yes

17, Take vitamins daily?
No. They are placebos in my opinion

18, Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?
Yes

19, Do You Have A Tan?
Nope. I'll be as white in September as I am in May. I don't have time or patience for tanning

20, Do You Like Chinese Food Over Pizza?
Yes!

21, Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw?
Yes because there are cooties on the can

22, Who was the last person you talked to on MSN?
Either Jen or Amanda

23, What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Working

24, Where Is Your Dad?
Heaven

25, Look To Your Left, What Do You See?
Jordan's crib

26, What Color Is Your Watch?
I don't wear one

27, What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?
Kangaroos

28, What Is Your Birthstone?
Garnet

29, Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?
Drive Thru

30, What Is Your Favorite Number?
7

31, Who's The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
My Mom

32, Any Plans Today?
Catching up on my sleep

34, Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now?
That things aren't as I want them to be, and that my eyes aren't as focused on God's will for my life as they should be

35, Last Song Listened to?
The theme song for Disney's Imagination Movers

36, Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards?
Should the question be "why would I want to?"

37, Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House?
No

38, Favorite Pair Of Shoes/Boots You Wear All The Time?
No

39, Are You Jealous Of Anyone?
No

40, Is Anyone Jealous Of You?
maybe

41. Do you love anyone?
Yes

42, Do Any Of Your Friends have Children
Yes

43, What Do You Usually Do During The Day?
Working

44, Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?
No

45, Do You Use The Word 'hello' Daily?
Yes

48, Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
No

49.Where did you get your worst scar from?
Surgery

51, Last Cd You Listened To?
I don't listen to cds. I'm a radio kind of gal

53, Last Time You Cried?
Last night

54, Last Meal?
Sandwich

58, Have You Ever Lost Someone?
Yes

59, Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm?
Yes but it's been awhile. Now if I sleep longer than 9am I think I've wasted half my day

61, List Five People You Can Tell Pretty Much Anything To:
This list would have been different a few weeks ago.. but I'll go with Ian, Mom, Jen G, Linda and...and.... ok I only have 4.

62, List Three Favorite Colors/shades:
Purple
Orange
Yellow

63, Have you ever laughed until you cried?
Yes - pretty much every day with my coworker. What a blessing she is

64, Went Behind Your Parents Back?
Way back in the day and not that often

65, Who Posted This Before You?
I stole it from Brittni from Facebook ( I love Facebook )

66, Support Gay Marriage?
No.

67, Lowering The Drinking Age?
I'd like to see it raised to 21

** hmm...wonder which one I'll get flamed for most - #66 or #67?? **

69, Who are the best huggers that you know of?
Ian

70, Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?
Absolutely

71, Is There Something you want to tell someone?
Yes, but some things are better left unsaid

74, How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?
I have 3, but I've always been open to as many as God gives me

75, Do You Want To Change Your Name?
No, I'm definitely a "Kate"

76, Last Time You Saw Your Father?
23 years ago

77, What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
I didn't! I was up all night and went to sleep at 9am until 1. Ok, so it was 1pm. HEY! I slept until 1pm! Guess it wasn't so long ago after all...

78, What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night?
Cuddling my beautiful Jordan in the ER

79, What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room?
My bed

80.Where is your best friend right now?
In the backyard, BBQing my burger

There you have it. Crucial information about me! Feel free to put this on your blog. If you do, leave me a comment and link so I can pop by and learn more about you :-)

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr