Counting Mine {261-270}

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in You.

Show me the way I should go,

for to You I lift up my soul."

Psalm 143:8

 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

261} soft music playing in the background

262} a driver that lets you go first at a 4-way stop, even though they got there first

263} the person who helps my mother by cutting her grass and shovelling her driveway, all done anonymously

264} watching Cake Boss with Sam

265} road trips

266} my childhood home and the feeling of safety I have when I walk through the front door

267} watching the children playing on the beach

268} having something fun and exciting to look forward to

269} a bubble bath in the middle of the day

270} the protective way Sam hugs me

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {251-260}

"I will proclaim the name of the Lord.

Oh, praise the greatness of our God!

He is the rock, His works are perfect."

Deuteronomy 32:3-4

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~   251} watching Julie looking through my bible for verses I've highlighted so she can highlight the same ones in hers

252} Sam's confidence in speaking about the Lord to his friends when it "isn't cool"

253} when the children back up their beliefs with bible verses

254} the precious and beautiful gift of salvation

255} surprising the children with a freshly baked treat after a long day at school

256} Ian's arm around me during church

257} all of the children gathering close to watch daddy making Mattie laugh, all delighting that he is ours

258} someone I deeply admire telling me I've inspired them

259} the peace that comes from letting go of the need to be perfect.

260} getting out of the cold rain into a warm car

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine (241 - 250)

I will proclaim the name of the LORD.

Oh, praise the greatness of our God!

He is the rock, His works are perfect.

Deuteronomy 32:3-4

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

 

241)Jordan`s arms around me, and her little girl voice telling me she needs me

242) being able to encourage a friend, simply because I`ve experienced the same trials

243) a friend telling me how much I mean to her

244) a good pen

245) when Jordan climbs into bed with us, cuddling into my back

246) mashed potatoes and corn, covered in gravy

247) wild wind while I`m warm inside

248) fresh beginnings

249) being in a small house group with women I love and trust

250) how much Ian loves me

 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {226 - 240}

One of the many things I want to bring back to my blog this year, is the theme of gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for, but I've let what I don't have cloud that.

I'm so sorry, Lord.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

226) a warm shower, washing away the stress, worries and failures of the day

227) the way Mattie closes his eyes and lifts his face for me to kiss his cheeks, like he`s soaking up my love

228) feeling like I matter

229) watching a child`s eyes flutter as they fight sleep

230) little arms cuddling a stuffed lovey close while they rest

231) Ian`s arrival home at 11:57 pm, just in time to ring in the new year with us

232) Julie choosing to journal her gifts because she sees the model of thankfulness

233) the heart-realization that God didn`t make a mistake in me

234) when the children offer to help with dinner or to set the table

235) snow that falls steady like rain

236) hearing Sam tell me I`m a good mother, and that he doesn`t tell me enough

237) quiet moments to myself

238) the peace I feel after a day well lived

239) the way my sweet Mattie smiles at me, like he has a big secret

240) late night water fights in the house

 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

 

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {211 - 225}

Feeling many emotions about the future today. Fear and excitement being the two biggest emotions. Trusting God to bring all the pieces together for us.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
211} feeling my child kicking and moving within me, and knowing that God and I are working together
212} the sound of horses galloping
213} Willow standing at the window, protecting his people
214} being able to cry out to a God that hears me and cares for me
215} second chances
216} dandelions hand-picked by my children
217} the way my daughter longs to be like me, making me want to be better, so I am worthy of being looked up to
218} silence, except for the sound of a clock ticking
219} the simple beauty of the word "mother" and all the love that it implies
220} friendships that endure
221} Mondays and the fresh week that follows...full of opportunities
222} before and after pictures
223} hearing how God is working in people's lives
224} the sound of Ian's heart beating
225} seeing my babies on the ultrasound screen
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {196-210}

"Fear not for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned."
Isaiah 43:1-2
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
196} the way a certain smell can immediately take me back to a special moment in time
197} dreaming of people who have left my life, like a special visit
198} singing in worship along with 8,000+ Christian women at Women of Faith
199} finding a treasured item I thought was lost forever
200} meeting Angie Smith at Women of Faith
201} hugs and kisses from my family after being away from home
202} Jordan climbing into bed with us every morning
203} when Ian turns down my side of the bed and puts my lamp on for me at night
204} soft mittens
205} hope
206} a weekend with no responsibilites or anywhere to go
207} heart to heart conversations with my Mama
208} love, in all its forms: romantic, motherly, familial
209} hearing God's voice
210} learning that someone I've been praying for has accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {181-195}

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Thessalonians 5:16-18
This past week I've been really trying to stay focused on the things the Lord has been blessing us with as we continue to navigate the events occuring within our family these days.

Ian and I were talking earlier this week and he has been encouraged (challenged??) to appreciate and be thankful for these blessings without adding a "but" to the end of the them. So easy to say "this is such a blessing, but..."

No more "buts".

Certainly keeps me in the moment and shows me where He continues to be with us. I can see where He is opening doors for us. I need to be grateful for those open doors and wait patiently for Him to open the rest.

Patience is not one of my spiritual gifts.

:-)

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
181} the way my grandmother would remove her earring before answering the phone
182} an ice cold beer on a hot day
183} Ian's superhero shirts
184} Jordan swinging, her eyes closed and face lifted to the sun, smiling
185} family picnics in the fall
186} church bells
187} piles of laundry, sorted and ready to be washed
188} long dinners with great friends
189} the cuddly hug Ian gives me in the mroning just before we have to get out of bed and start our days
190} kindness at unexpected moments
191} dogs riding in cars with their heads hanging out the window, ears flapping in the wind
192} the way Jordan has to stand on her tippy toes to reach a spoon from the drawer
193} when Ian lets me put my lipstick in his suit jacket pocket so I don't have to carry a purse
194} capturing that perfect moment in a photograph
195} Julie's beautiful and strong heart for others
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {166-180}

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Psalm 107:1
Thank you for reaching out to me with so much love and kindness these last few days. It means so much.

xo

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
166} sleepy children with full bellies
167} fun answering machine messages
168} discovering a fellow believer in the workplace
169} the refreshing shock after jumping into cold water
170} the heavy, dreamless sleep I have when I have a cold
171} the pride in Ian's voice when he says "this is my wife, Kate"
172} my name
173} that last cold diet pepsi tucked at the back of the fridge
174} the quiet stillness in the house before everyone wakes
175} birds perched together, side by side
176} a clear night with lots of stars
177} cutting into a piece of fabric
178} my "Kate Space", a small desk in the corner of my bedroom that is all mine
179} when Ian calls me Katie
180} going into the weekend with a clean home
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15} Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45} Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75} Counting Mine {76-90
Counting Mine {91-105} Counting Mine {106-120}
Counting Mine {121-135} Counting Mine {136-150} Counting Mine {151-165}

Counting Mine {151-165}

What a week! Lots of highs and lows, and much to be thankful for in between.

The other day my sweet friend Marie sent me an email saying she was praying this verse over me:

"However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[a]—
the things God has prepared for those who love him-"
1 Corinthians 2:9

Marie sends me emails of love and encouragement regularly, reminding me of the truths I need to cling to. She lifts me up and prays for my family and I am so thankful for her. Her emails always seem to arrive on a day when I need them the most. She is definitely one of my one thousand gifts :)

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
151} little girls with polished nails
152} drive-in movies
153} picnics
154} slow dancing with my Ian
155} disco
156} Ian's well worn, well read bible and all the written notes within it
157} garbage exemption day
158} when Julie let's me blow dry her hair
159} reading a bible verse and hearing it in a fresh way
160} staying in hotels
161} free samples
162} cars that stop when there's no crosswalk, just to let children cross
163} when Jordan picks out all the orange m&ms to give to me
164} stores with pretty bags
165} a restored marriage
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75}
Counting Mine {76-90
Counting Mine {91-105}
Counting Mine {106-120}
Counting Mine {121-135}
Counting Mine {136-150}

Counting Mine {136 - 150}

Today was my first day back in church after being away for two months. Well, if you don't count Christmas Eve, but that was at a different church.

Why the long break? Lots of reasons, none of them really worthy of such a long time away. I think that at some level was a little freaked out at what happened the last time I was there. I didn't really go into detail about it, but I mentioned it in November.

It was so good to be back today, and to see so many of the faces I love so much. I collected lots and lots of hugs :) Matthew went into the nursery for the first time and did really well. It felt weird to be empty handed in the sanctuary!

Back at home, I was preparing lunch and I asked Jordan how her Sunday school class went, and she told me how much God loves her.

Precious.

It's a good, good, day.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
136} that sweet, tired feeling after a day out in the sun
137} the first warm day after a long, cold winter
138} swimming in the dark
139} magazine day
140} baby skin
141} irish accents
142} watching tv in bed
143} seeing my big boy cuddling my little boy
144} holding a sleeping baby
145} baking something new that Ian loves
146} how my mother's front door is always open
147} spring
148} people watching in the mall
149} ironing Ian's shirts
150} Ian's hand on my lower back as we enter a room
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75}
Counting Mine {76-90
Counting Mine {91-105}
Counting Mine {106-120}
Counting Mine {121-135}

Counting Mine {121 - 135}

I can't believe that Christmas is just one week away. We're almost done our Christmas shopping, the last of which I'm hoping to finish up tomorrow. The rest of the week will be spent wrapping gifts and baking special treats while celebrating the true meaning of this beautiful season.

Last evening I watched a live stream of The Story Tour. Max Lucado, Selah, Natalie Grant, Steven Curtis Chapman... the list went on. Such beautiful singing. More than once I felt my eyes filling with tears. I'm hoping that it will be available on iTunes because I still have an iTunes card to spend :-)

I met up with my friend Dawn on Thursday afternoon for a cup of tea and to introduce her to Matthew. I haven't seen her in forever and it did my heart good to be with her again. Matthew took to her right away and cried when she left.

Thursday evening was Mother/Daughter night at Girls Club so Julie and I baked fudge brownies to take with us. Such a sweet evening with her. I was also able to catch up with a couple of my friends while we were there which was nice.

Ian is watching The Polar Express with the children and just pulled out a batch of gingerbread cookies.

I'm going to have to wrap this post up now, I think!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

121} freshly brushed teeth
122} a sermon that speaks directly to my heart
123} reconnecting with an old friend
124} my snowman pjs, worn and torn as they are
125} walking down the street and hearing the clinking of dinner dishes being washed
126} having my hair brushed
127} watching my children playing in the leaves
128} praying with my children
129} going out on the porch during a heavy rainstorm and seeing my neighbours doing the same
130} a Friday evening snowstorm and we're cozy inside with nowhere to go
131} the scent of freshly washed floors
132} my grandmother's afghan
133} the sounds of my children spilling into the house as they arrive home from school
134} a warm candlelit bubble bath with a glass of wine and a good book
135} the feel of Ian's arms around me

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75}
Counting Mine {76-90
Counting Mine {91-105}
Counting Mine {106-120}

Counting Mine {106 - 120}

This weekend was one of the sweetest weekends I've had in a long time. Ian had a full weekend of magic shows and Santa bookings, so sadly he wasn't here to be a part of it.

It wasn't like we did anything exceptionally great. We just were together, enjoying each other's company.

Julie helped me clean out a cupboard, and then I cleaned the freezer while she did the fridge. I made cake balls, and one by one all the children found their way to the kitchen, sitting on the stools at the breakfast bar. We teased and talked and laughed together and my heart felt so warm.

We ate a lot of cake balls. A lot of them. I made one big one that we called The Big Daddy just for Ian. All of us want to eat Big Daddy, and Ian is holding off just to tease us I think.

Today, I was rocking Matthew in the rocking chair in the play room, singing his favourite songs. Once he fell asleep, I moved him and started rocking Jordan, singing her favourites. Then she got cross with me for messing up the words and took off.

Then... Julie climbed on my lap and we started singing made up songs that just had us in stitches.

These are the days.

These are the moments that I don't want to ever forget.

This afternoon we put up our Christmas tree. If you know me, you know this is late for us! I'm that annoying person that is always counting down to Christmas on the 25th of each month.

Watching the children decorating the tree, I did what I do every single year without fail.

I started to cry.

Last Christmas, Matthew was still growing within me. Just a dream of what he would be. This year, he was mesmerized by the lights on the tree. I watched Sam helping Jordan hang a favourite decoration. Julie on top of the chair, hanging the ornaments on the higher branches. And Ian, putting the star on the top of the tree like he does every year. Each of us hanging a heart ornament, six in total.

I cried because it hit me just how much God loves me. He has filled my home - and my life - with people to love, and who love me. I know I don't deserve all that He has given me. I know this. I am so grateful.

There is laughter and warmth and love in this home. We fight with each other, and tease each other, and support one another.

Such love.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

106} loading the bobbin into my sewing machine correctly the first time
107} waking up and checking the clock, and seeing that I don't have to get up just yet
108} the careful way Ian holds my heart
109} having a door held open
110} exceeded expectations
111} church family that loves deeply
112} fireworks
113} answered prayers
114} sweet family traditions
115} going to see a movie on my own
116} feety pjs
117} getting to fall asleep next to Ian each night, and waking up to him each morning
118} freshly washed laundry
119} family vacations to Sherkston
120} pushing a baby in a stroller

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75}
Counting Mine {76-90}
Counting Mine {91-105}

Counting Mine {91-105}

I've been enjoying a gentle sense of peace this week.

I like it.

Still absorbing how powerful church was a couple of Sundays ago.

Absorbing....and basking in it.

God is good.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

91} getting the same number of socks out of the wash that went in
92} beautiful meanings behind names
93} squeezing out that extra bit of conditioner when I thought the bottle was empty
94} a wagging tail = a happy dog
95} quoting movie lines with the children throughout the day
96} being a stay at home mom
97} spending my days with my Ian
98} farm animal families
99} baby pigs
100} pink and purple sunsets
101} flowers for no reason
102} puddle jumping
103} hugs
104} the crisp scent of Autumn
105} that burning smell the first time the furnace is turned on

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75}
Counting Mine {76-90}

Counting Mine {76-90}

I've spent much of this past year angry.

Anger is not a flattering trait for anyone, much less a woman. A mother.

It's hard enough to admit it to Ian, but to the world at large? Ouch.

But yes, I have been angry. Little things have been amplified, exaggerated, blown out of proportion. All because I have been filled with this anger.

At who? Well, just about everyone. The jerk who laid off my husband when he busted his butt for him, day in and day out. The neighbours next door that make noise at midnight. The paper delivery guy for skipping a day.

God.

He has the power to change our circumstances at any moment. So why doesn't He?

As the months passed my anger grew, and I started to feel myself becoming depressed. I was sure that once Ian went back to work life would be fine again.

Or would it?

I suddenly realized that I was more afraid of what was happening to my relationship with God than I was about our financial situation. A job wasn't going to fix what was rapidly breaking.

Back in the day I used to kind of roll my eyes when people would say that God spoke to them. Yeah, right, I'd think. But then He started talking to me. Not in a booming voice for the world to hear, although that would be nice because I can be somewhat dense. I'd just know it was Him, gently speaking right into my heart, silencing everything else.

So why was He silent now when I needed to hear Him the most?

I saw this on Pinterest awhile ago and pinned it. I remember thinking at the time that it was lovely, but really...who wouldn't want the storm calmed first?



Then Sunday happened. I've spent this past week trying to get my head around it and I haven't been able to. Someone at my church shared a message they'd received from God, and if you'll forgive me for the all about me-ness of this, it felt as though he was speaking right to me. Everything around me fell silent, and I heard Him.

He hasn't forgotten me. I am His. He is here.

I was undone.

I don't even know how to express it, and I know I should be trying harder. I'm sure that that message was meant for a lot of people in that sanctuary. But for me, with the silence and the words and the impact on my own heart... I can't get my head around it. I'd love to share the entire message here but I haven't asked for permission to do so.

So this week has been pretty awesome. It's changed the way I feel. The way I pray. The way I see Jesus.

Present, loving.

He knows me. He hears me.

The storm is still raging, but He has quieted this child's heart.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

76} watching the moon appear as daylight fades
77} the smell of freshly cut grass
78} watching the sun rise
79} wind chimes
80} those final moments of labour, just before the baby is born, when the air feels electric and a life is about to be forever changed
81} the feel of the car driving over gravel roads
82} whispered "I love yous"
83} watching the cat sleeping in a patch of sunlight
84} an unexpected package
85} new underwear
86} my favourite ice cream on sale
87} being trusted with someone else's story
88} encouragement spoken
89} watching leaves fall from their trees
90} reaching for the phone to call someone and it rings in my hand...and it's the person I was going to call

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through your journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}
Counting Mine {61-75}

Counting Mine {61-75}

My heart feels different these days.

Stronger.

More peaceful.

I was emailing with a sweet friend of mine the other day and I told her that God is doing something to me. In me. I can feel it. I feel like He is reaching down into the pit I've been in and is gently lifting me out. He's meeting me where I am to get me. Me. It's overwhelming. Still, there is spiritual attack but I give it to the Lord and go forward. I'm living very much minute to minute these days. It's all I have the strength to do and I just sense that's what He wants for me right now.

As more and more is stripped away, I am seeing how much I truly have.

And I'm rich.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

61} funny or inspirational church signs
62} a fresh box of crayons
63} Christmas lights
64} watching my big kids walking together, heads bent close as they talk
65} driving my children to school
66} an open parking spot close to the store
67} inside jokes between Ian and me
68} the feeling of well being, no matter how fleeting
69} the scent of burning leaves
70} a wave from a neighbour
71} driving up to the drive-thru window to find that the previous car already paid for my order
72} warm strawberry rhubarb pie
73} a friend that reaches out in love
74} getting mail
75} the smell of turkey roasting in the oven

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through this journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}
Counting Mine {46-60}

Counting Mine {46-60}

I had an incredible, life changing time at the Women of Faith conference this weekend! There is so much wonderful stuff to process and work through and apply... I'm excited to tell you all about it!

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to attend an event such as this at some time in your life. It was powerful. I need to take some time to just absorb all that I've learned and experienced before sharing it with you.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

46} the flush on Matthew's cheeks as he sleeps
47} my family all together at once
48} campfires
49} getting into the car just as my favourite song starts on the radio
50} Walmart
51} walking through the conservation area with Willow in the Fall
52} freshly baked chocolate chip cookies
53} sleeping in
54} the way my hand fits perfectly inside Ian's
55} riding along in the car, cozy and warm, while it rains outside
56} small town shops
57} the first snowfall that sticks
58} laughing until I cry
59} a hot washcloth on my face
60} Willow laying across my cold feet

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through this journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}
Counting Mine {31-45}

Counting Mine {31-45}

When I first decided to start counting my gifts they came easily to me. I found that I was carrying paper and a pen with me wherever I went because they'd come so quickly.

Now that I'm nearing 200 I find I'm slowing down somewhat. Not for a lack of gifts, but instead of sitting and thinking about them, I'm living more in the moment and slowing down and seeing them. Noticing them. Feeling them.

This past week I've had some really great moments of clarity in terms of my relationship with God. I have issues with control, and I can't give the control up to God. Bottom line, I just don't know how to. I have this deep need to be in control of absolutely everything and I don't know how to let go and get out of His way. But this past week, I realized that the more I try to stay in control of things, the less control I have. I've made a mess of so many things and having my eyes opened to something as basic as this was new for me.

And so it has started. A whispered prayer to the One who knows me the best. I can't do it, Father. I can't do it. I need you. I give it to you. And as I opened my hands to let go, He has filled them with this new sense of peace.

This week we received another blow. And while I still allowed myself a few tears in the shower, I still felt that feeling of all is well. I didn't rail at Him as I have done in the past. I just let myself cry and feel His comfort.

He knows. He knows.

None of what I'm feeling or struggling with is a surprise to Him. He knows it all.

This season that we're in is scary and it sucks. But it's also precious. This time that Ian and I have had together, and with our children, has been precious. It has had purpose. God has provided. He has a plan. I have no idea what it is, and frankly I wish He'd hurry up, but He has a plan.

When I think of the struggles that we have faced this year, are currently facing and those that are still coming fast, I wonder if God isn't stripping everything away from us so that when He does show up, it will be crystal clear that it is all because of Him and the glory will all be His.

As hard as things are...don't I want that? Don't I want people to see God's glory in our lives? To change our circumstances so that people will see that it's all from Him? To show people that no matter what things look like, He is always at work in us and around us?

I do. It's hard, but oh yeah...I want that. I want Him to be glorified in this. I want people to see who He is, and what He does, and how He loves.

Oh how He loves.

The gifts that I've been counting, the ways that He blesses me every single day when I stop to look for them.

I'm finally, finally getting it. He loves me.

Me.

31} sunlight on my face
32} knowing I've done something to make Ian happy
33} my mother's voice
34} feeling my child's hand in mine
35} napping with Jordan and feeling her warm body snuggled up to mine
36} sand underneath my feet
37} making someone laugh
38} a fresh nightgown, straight from the dryer
39} smiling
40} all the windows in my home, letting the sunlight fill each room
41} retreating to a quiet room in my house and having one of the children seek me out for a hug
42} family movie nights
43} my mom's egg salad sandwiches
44} an unopened box of kleenex
45} cool pillows

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through this journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}
Counting Mine {16-30}

Counting Mine {16-30}

I wish I could find the perfect words to use to tell you how my heart is changing.

Slowly but surely... it is softening.

The more gifts I count, the more peace I feel.

They come to me constantly and unexpectedly.

Some make me laugh out loud.

I love it.

And He loves me.

16} freshly polished nails
17} singing my favourite worship songs in church
18} the feel of Bible pages
19} getting lost in a good book
20} the colour orange
21} laughter around the dinner table
22} freshly bathed children
23} watching my daughters dance with their daddy
24} cracking an egg into a bowl and not getting any shells in it
25} a nap on a Sunday afternoon
26} warm, soapy dishwater
27} forgiveness
28} suddenly remembering what my father's voice sounded like
29} a full cookie jar
30} catching all green lights when I'm in a hurry

If you are counting your own blessings and blogging about them, will you leave me a comment with the link to your blog, or share them with me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to know how you are being blessed through this journey!

Counting Mine {1-15}

Counting Mine {1 ~ 15}

Recently I've been reading one thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp. She writes about a dare given to her by a friend: to count one thousand things she loves.

Her gifts from God.

And by doing so, she learns what true joy is. She reaches a level of intimacy with the Lord and she is able to let go, to trust Him. To see Him in each moment, to live each moment fully for what it is. To be thankful for everything and to see that all that is given to her has been lovingly given by the Lord.

That thankfulness always precedes the miracle.

I want this joy. This level of intimacy. The trust. I need it.

I want to feel close to the Lord and to be thankful for what he has given me. To draw close to him and know in my heart that he loves me. I have head knowledge, but I need heart knowledge too.

Even more, maybe.

So this morning I decided to start my own gratitude journal. I planned to just list ten to see what I came up with, but before I knew it I had 79.

I am humbled.

And there are more. Many more.

So, I decided to post my one thousand gifts as I go on this journey. Not so much for everyone to read them, but for me to have a place to store them.

And so I will begin.

1} being a mother
2} a cup of tea in my favourite mug
3} listening to worship music in the kitchen and hearing Julie singing along in the next room
4} my mother's hands
5} swinging ponytails
6} looking across the room at my husband and seeing that he was already looking at me. And then... he winks
7} the hum of the dishwasher in the late evening
8} rain against the windows
9} checking the time and seeing that it's 3:16, a reminder of John 3:16
10} a joke that makes me laugh for days
11} watching baptisms - death of old life, beginning of new
12} promises kept
13} meeting new friends in unexpected places
14} the quiet that settles after the children have all been put to bed
15} being the first to use a brand new jar of peanut butter

Each Sunday I will share more of my list with you. If you feel prompted to start your own list, or you are already compiling your own...will you let me know? It would be such a blessing to know that others are on this journey to thankfulness and joy as well.

Have a great Sunday and start counting ;-)