Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What Was With Today Anyway??

I love Wednesdays. I really do.

Each Wednesday I drop my children off at school, take Ian to work, stop at Timmie's for my usual order of a large steeped tea with double milk (for me) and two old fashioned glazed timbits (for Jordan), and then head to the church for my Bible study.

This morning was really, really great. We all sat around the table and enjoyed really laid back conversation about everything under the sun. I really enjoy this group.

Afterwards, Jordan and I headed to the bank and then went to Michael's.

I love Michael's. I love it even more than Walmart.

GASP!

Did I just admit that?

So while we were walking, this really big, black SUV pulls up alongside us with two guys in it. One of them calls out to me, scaring the crap out of me. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Freaky Dude In The SUV: Oh I'm sorry to startle you, Ma'am.

Really? Ma'am?

Me: Oh, not a problem. Is there something I can help you with? (because I'm all nice like that)

Freaky Dude: Well, I was wondering if I could interest you in a home theatre system.

Me: A what?

Freaky Dude: A home theatre system. My buddy and I just finished installing system in a couple of houses just north of here and we still have three left over.

Me: Oh, no thank you. I'm good.

Freaky Dude: Yeah, well... if we take back three systems, my boss automatically gets a free one, and there is no way I want that guy having a free home theatre system.

Me: Right.

Freaky Dude: Yeah. (starts to open his door) Why don't you just come around to the back of the car and I'll show it to you.

I read the paper. I watch CNN. I am worldly. (ok, maybe not so much for that one)

Me: No thank you.

Freaky Dude: No? You don't want a free home theatre system? Come around, let me show you.

Me: No, I don't want to come around to the back of your car. I don't feel like getting killed today.

I started walking away and he pulls up alongside me.

Freaky Dude: No no, it's not like that. Seriously let me show you.

Me: Really, thanks very much, but I'll take a pass. Have a good day.

Do you believe it? As if I was born yesterday. He was probably going to put a rag with chloroform on my face and drive away with me and my baby!

NOT THIS CHICK, MISTER.

Yeah, so that happened.

After the children and I picked Ian up after work we went to Walmart to get Jordan's costume for Halloween. She's going to be a crocodile. Or a dinosaur. Depending on who you ask. If you ask me she's a crocodile.

Jordan managed to holler all throughout Walmart, therefore making me That Mother. You know who that is. That Mother who lets her child scream, thereby annoying the 3,444,000 customers in the store. It's funny how after awhile you don't really even hear it anymore, you know?

For about 4 agonizing minutes I couldn't find Julie. I couldn't breathe. Turns out she went with Ian and thought I knew.

Ugh. Poor thing. She got the whole ohmygoshIthoughtsomeonetookyoudon'tyoueverdothattomeagaindoyouhearme speech.

Oh so lovingly, of course.

But of course.

While we're standing in line, a mother and her two children were playing peek-a-boo with Jordan. So cute.

Well, cute until she did her new thing. She takes her hand and drags it across her throat. You know the "you're dead" motion, usually done with one finger along the throat? Yeah, like that. Except with her whole hand. She does that every so often and I don't know why but I sure wish she'd stop. The mother was all like "oh what's that about?" And before I could answer, Jordan says "Ass!"

Yep. So that happened too.

I'm so ready for bed and a less dramatic day tomorrow.

Here's hoping!

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20 comments:

  1. May I laugh at your expense? Seriously, I only laugh because I have been there, done that and will probably be doing it tomorrow.

    Loved your post and style, will be stopping by more often!

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  2. Oh Kate. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but BWWWAAAHHHHAAAAHHHAAA (except for that first part with the guys in the SUV..that's scary and not being able to find Julie...that's scary too!!)but the other stuff.

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  3. LOL. Sorry to laugh (this is the first time I have read your blog, followed your link on McMamma's forums). I must say I will be coming back to read more. Sounds a bit like what we go through more often than not:)

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  4. Just about fell out of my chair laughing...not AT you of course, but with you as a fellow mom! Hope tomorrow is better, Kim

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  5. OMG your Wednesday goes about like my EVERYday ;o) And so you can sleep at night, it's MELISSA, without the -uh sound at the end. I'm sorry to wig you out!!!!! I go with Melis since Lissa sounds so young and I hate Mel and Missy and Melis is what my husband calls me... he says is more like, M'liss but I'm not about to put an apostrophe in my name - I'm way too white for that! Hope it helps and for the record, I could spend my life savings in Michaels, so don't worry about admitting that.

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  6. lol that was too funny! I wonder if the other woman blogged about the crazy woman and her kid in walmart lol

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  7. OMG.. I would have been totally freaked about the guys in the SUV. I would have been the paranoid mom who ran inside and found the security guard.. LOL (yes im THAT crazy mom)

    I was cracking up laughing at your walmart story! So funny!!!! You crack me up girl :)

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  8. LOL...only you....ONLY you.

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  9. I just LOVE Jordan. Her and Belli need to hang out.

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  10. Scary SUV dude story. Ack.

    Thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement yesterday. Thank you.

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  11. Ohmygosh! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at the end. I would just die if I were in line behind you and saw your little one slide her hand across her throat then say "ass"! Hahahaha.

    I'm sorry about the sketchy SUV guy. That is really creepy. Good thing you're so worldly!

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  12. That story made me laugh out loud! I can so see my daughter doing the same thing when she gets a little older!

    I also hate when people call me ma'am. Oh, and I love Micahel's way more than Wal-Mart too! I could spend all day in that store.

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  13. Oh my goodness! I just had the experience of my son saying ass. And that's just scary about the creepy looking guy! Glad you didn't fall for it! Hope you had a better day.

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  14. Oh my, what a day!

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  15. Oh my goodness!!! Talk about drama!!! I have this theory that I will never be kidnapped or attacked or anything cause I am fat. And guys like to target skinny woman.

    Its just a theory.

    Blessings!
    Amanda

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  16. Very smart of you to avoid the freaky guy in the parking lot! Smiles to you:) Have a wonderful weekend!

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  17. That story made me laugh out loud! I can so see my daughter doing the same thing when she gets a little older!

    I also hate when people call me ma'am. Oh, and I love Micahel's way more than Wal-Mart too! I could spend all day in that store.

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  18. lol that was too funny! I wonder if the other woman blogged about the crazy woman and her kid in walmart lol

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  19. OMG your Wednesday goes about like my EVERYday ;o) And so you can sleep at night, it's MELISSA, without the -uh sound at the end. I'm sorry to wig you out!!!!! I go with Melis since Lissa sounds so young and I hate Mel and Missy and Melis is what my husband calls me... he says is more like, M'liss but I'm not about to put an apostrophe in my name - I'm way too white for that! Hope it helps and for the record, I could spend my life savings in Michaels, so don't worry about admitting that.

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  20. Just about fell out of my chair laughing...not AT you of course, but with you as a fellow mom! Hope tomorrow is better, Kim

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