Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day - October 15th

On February 27th, 1998 we lost our first child. We were heartbroken.

It amazes me how much my heart still aches for this little one, even after all of these years.

We feel it in our hearts that this baby was a boy. I don't know how we know, we just do.

I wonder what he would have looked like. Smelled like. Laughed like.

I wanted to bake cookies for him. To comfort him when he fell. To tickle him until he collapsed in a heap of giggles. To fold his little shirts. To tie his shoes.

I wanted to hold him.

I wanted to feel his hand in mine.

I wanted to hear him call me Mommy.

I wanted to feel his lips kiss my cheeks.

I want to understand why we couldn't keep him.

If you have experienced the loss of a child, know that my heart hurts for yours and that you are in my prayers today.