I had prepared a vlog earlier this evening, with Matthew as my special guest. He was wide awake and happy and I was going to show him off a little. I was experiencing a pretty good hair day with a rare clean shirt thrown in as a bonus.
I thanked those of you that commented on my last blog post or sent me heartfelt and encouraging emails that brought me to tears.
And in doing so, I began to cry again. I am so humbled that people even read my blog to begin with. Whether I know you in real life or just online, you humble me. And to share your encouraging words, kindness and love... I am so sincerely appreciative.
I'm tired of feeling like an Eeyore and I'm sure you're tired of reading about it. I long to feel like myself again.
Goofy. Light hearted. Hopeful.
So why didn't I post the vlog?
Because I had Jordan running back and forth behind me yelling "Brains! Brains!" in the zombie voice someone taught her to use. Ian and Jules were playing on the Wii and were laughing and smack talking one another. I could hear the tv show Sam was watching in the other room. I was tearing up. And somewhere, for some reason, there was water running.
It was pretty noisy.
I had to laugh, because all you could hear was all these different noises and there Matt and I are, talking away and you couldn't hear a thing.
I have a home. I have children to love and who love me. I have a husband who adores me and our children.
In spite of the state of my heart, I am completely aware of how richly I am blessed.
I have been beaten down by spiritual attack. Ian was talking about something and mid-sentence I blurted out "Will you pray for me?" because I couldn't stand feeling so alone in a house full of beautiful blessings.
And he did. My sweet man prayed so lovingly over me and I felt more at peace.
All in all, it was a good day. I cuddled and coloured with Jordan, then gave her a manicure and pedicure with the purple polish she loves so much. We both had naps and cookies and apple slices for our snack. We rocked together in the rocking chair while I sang songs to her about Jesus. I loved all over Matthew.
Yes. A good day.
Tomorrow my mom is coming over to visit with us and to cuddle the little ones. I love that she lives so close to us and that she can see them whenever she wants to. We'll likely talk each other's ears off, and by that I mean that *I* will talk HER ears off. :-D And there will be some Dancing With The Stars watching too.
Thank you for praying for me. For my family.
Small words, but they are so heartfelt.