5QF ~ September 23

Oh Sunday evening... why did you have to sneak up on me like this??

Pox on you.

This past week seemed to fly by. Julie started her dance class on Tuesday. She was a little bummed they didn't do more dancing but it was the first night. She's hopeful it will go better this week. I'm looking forward to driving her every week because that means 45 glorious minutes of alone time. Yee haw!

I met my friend Cindy's new baby. He wasn't even a week old yet! So soft and squishy and made these adorable little creaky noises. It's been awhile since I've held a newborn so I was a little nervous. And the best part? No baby fever!!

GO KATE!

Ian had the junior high youth leaders over on Thursday for a game night, and I took the children to the open house at the school to meet their teachers and hear about the curriculum for the upcoming year. They each chose a book from the book fair and then we went for ice cream.

Yesterday Ian and I went on a date to see Resident Evil and out for dinner. We're trying to make time for just the two of us, even if it's only a quick cup of tea at Tim Hortons.

Today we made a huge purchase. For me. And my stomach hurts thinking about it, but I'm just so excited about it. I bought an iPad. Ian's loaded it up for me and I'm looking forward to trying everything out. He loves his and is convinced I will love mine. It's white with a pink protective case. Just like my iPhone.

This week at work will be very busy as it's month end. The pressure last month was unreal so at least I'm a little more prepared as to what to expect this time around.

I finally went to see my doctor this week as I've been feeling so lousy lately. He sent me for a ton of blood work and I'm having an ultrasound on Thursday. I haven't heard anything from his office so I'm assuming I'm not at death's door like the Google said I was. I just feel so run down and stressed out. I often feel anxious and as though I'm about to throw up. It's super annoying.

I'm very late for Mama M's Five Question Friday but I don't care. I'm participating anyway.
 
Let's go!

1. What is one grammar issue you cannot let go without correction?

I don't correct people's grammar because I think that would be incredibly rude. I just flinch inwardly and let it go. An exception, of course, is my children. I try not to be critical but gently remind them of the current tense.

Certain things make my eye twitch. I have a friend that will say "he hanged up on me!" and it kills me. Another one says "the floor needs washed". I can't stand double negatives either. Ain't isn't a word, yet I hear it all the time.

Still, I don't correct the way someone speaks because it's rude.

2. What's your favorite thing about fall?

The cooler air, the colours of the leaves, pies and stews, warm sweaters, Thanksgiving, our fall family photos, Hallowe'en.

3. What's your favourite dish to take to a potluck?

I'll often offer to bring a dessert because I enjoy baking more than I enjoy cooking. If I'm super busy then I'll buy something but if I have the time I'll pour through my recipes to find something I think people will like.

4. When do you start Christmas shopping?

Any time after December 1st.

5. Did you move homes a lot growing up?

No. We lived in our first house until I was 14, then we moved to the city I'm in now. I lived there with my mother and sister until I married Ian at 25. We lived in an apartment for a year, then moved back into my mother's home for a year and half while our house was being built, and then lived in that house for 13 years. And as you know, we sold that house in June and have been living here since June 29th.

Ok, that's that. I need to go and do my nails and then play on my new iPad.

Anyone have any suggestions for "must have" apps?

Have a great week!

I'm Still Alive

Lately, I think I may have forgotten I have a blog. Always lots of things going on here and not much time to write about them. Between working and home life there isn't much Kate Time left over. I'm really trying to be more present in the lives of my children to make up for the hours I'm away.

Yesterday Sam and I took a mini road trip to Simcoe for him to visit with some friends of his. It was nice to have that time together and we talked about all sorts of things. He's a very interesting guy.

This morning I just about lost my mind on the way to church. Ever smell something that no one else can? Annoying. Well I could smell something funky and I kept sniffing my shirt to make sure it wasn't me. Turns out the right shoulder of my shirt was the culprit. I have no idea what was going on there because it was a clean shirt from my drawer. It distracted me all through the sermon because I kept sniffing my shoulder to see if the smell had gone away. It hadn't. So weird.

I got my hair done this weekend. Had the colour touched up and a little trim. She straightened it for a change and I felt pretty smokin'.

My friend Cindy had her baby on Friday. He looks so cute in his pictures and I can't wait to smell his little baby head.

Julie starts dance this week. I wish I could go with her because one of my dreams is to be a hip hop dancer but apparently I'm not invited. Well then.

Matthew had his check up this past week and is 26 lbs 15 oz of sheer perfection. He didn't like his shots at all. Well now that's an obvious thing to say, isn't it. I've yet to meet someone who loves getting shots.

There's some porn star that's started a blog called Katee Life and I've been getting tons of hits from people looking for her. I'm sure they're very disappointed to land on the blog of a Christian mommy blogger.

This is a pretty lame drive by post, but my mind is all over the place right now and my stomach is hurting so I'm going to sign off for tonight.

5QF ~ September 7

 

Hello Friday!

 

Tonight Ian, Sam and Julie will head up north for our church's Fall youth retreat. It's Julie's first one and she's so excited. I'll miss them all so much but my hands will be full in their absence with the two littles to keep me busy! I'm looking forward to lots of cuddles and playtime this weekend.

 

And early bedtimes... let's be honest here.

 

I don't know what's going on with my mouth these last couple of days but there's an excess of saliva going on and I'm worried my tongue is going to drown or something. So gross. I checked WebMD and it  turns out I'm dying.

 

Oh boy.

 

Well, I can't sit here chit chatting with you all day... I need to get to work. So let's get this Five Question Friday started!

   

1. What is your favorite fall family tradition?

 

Definitely our fall family photos. No one ever wants to do them but me and it usually ends up being a frustrating time for everyone. But it's all worth it to get that one great wall-worthy shot. I love seeing our family growing year after year.

 

2. If money weren't an issue, how many kids would you have?

 

For me it isn't so much the money aspect, it's my age and my ability to split myself up to give each child what he/she needs. I love having four children but I don't think I could handle more. I'm pretty stretched as it is.

 

3. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be and where would you put it?

 

I've really been thinking about getting a tattoo for several months now. I'd love to have Choose Joy tattooed across the top of my right foot, along the edge. Or maybe a verse. It would need to be in a place that could be covered when I wanted it to be. I figure when I'm 90 years old I'll still be ok with a Choose Joy reminder on my foot ;-)

 

4. What condiment is a must in your house?

 

Oh my gosh KETCHUP.  Heaven forbid we run out of ketchup. Or as Jordan calls it, "kepitch".  

 

5. How did your spouse/fiance propose?

 

That's a long and beautiful story, ending up with him on one knee just as I'd always dreamed.

 

Best question he ever asked ;-)

 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~  

That's a wrap! Head on over to Mama M's blog My Little Life to join in on the fun and meet some other awesome bloggers!

Back To School And Stuff

 Today the children returned to school. While I'm sad the summer is over, I'm relieved to fall back into our regular schedule.

We headed out early this morning to take back to school photos on my mother's front porch as per our tradition. The kids also like to see their Gram before heading off as well.

Jordan doesn't officially start until tomorrow, but we dressed her up in her first day of school outfit so she could be a part of the family porch photo.

 

 

We couldn't leave Matthew out! 

 



 

 

He didn't know or care what was going on. Look at his face. Ha. 

Both Sam and Julie are pleased with their teachers and they each have friends in their classes. Always a good thing. Sam has assignments due on Friday and did one tonight to get it out of the way. Who is this kid?

Tomorrow Jordan goes to school for a 30 minute orientation. I did her nails for her tonight at her request and she's laid out her dress to wear again tomorrow. She's so excited and so nervous at the same time. I hope she isn't too shy tomorrow. Next week she goes for two mornings only, and then the week after that she goes every morning.

This past weekend was really nice. I did everything I wanted to do. Friday night Sam and I went shopping and out for ice cream. We brought a pizza home for dinner and we all watched a movie together.

Saturday morning Ian had another garage sale and  I met up with my mom at bingo. Neither of us won, although my mom got pretty close a couple of times. Sam has been asking and asking for me to take him to my mom's to visit, so we went over for most of the afternoon. I think Sam enjoys visiting my mom as much as I do!

Saturday night Ian and I went out for dinner. We went to a lovely restaurant not too far from the house and just enjoyed being together. I ordered this three cheese spinach appetizer thing and it was so good. And then I bit into something that was so hot I thought my eyes would fall out. Nothing I ate or drank would make the burning stop. What a nightmare! Ian just laughed at me. After dinner we did the most romantic thing ever - we went to Walmart where I bought some new nail polish and lipstick.

Sunday we went to church and afterwards Ian took Sam, Julie and Jordan shopping for the last few items they needed for school. Matthew and I took a nap.

On Monday we invited the neighbourhood kids over for ice cream to celebrate the end of summer.

A perfect weekend.

Did I mention we bought a second car? Well we did. We bought it from a family in our church and I really like it. I feel more comfortable driving it than I do the van. I can actually park this vehicle! Ian and I have been enjoying taking turns with it over the last few days and it's a very comfortable ride to work.

Ok, I need to wrap this rambling up and get to bed.

Thoughts

It's late on Sunday night, and I'm sitting in my favourite spot in my whole house - my recliner in my bedroom. The window is open and there is a lovely breeze coming in. I can hear the crickets outside.

I'm soaking up my family this weekend, and all the safe feelings I have whenever I'm at home with my people.

It was a hard week. Probably the hardest week I've experienced at this job so far. Lots of tears on the way to work...and lots of tears on the way home. Pretty much every day.

I work in the credit and collections department of a very large company. My workload is exceptionally heavy and there is an incredible amount of expectation and pressure to produce results.

This past week I had a customer scream at me for a half hour over the phone. I've been hung up on, sworn at, lied to repeatedly, and complained about. I had to do client site visits to pick up cheques so they would be deposited in our bank for month end. Micro managed to work harder, apply pressure to our clients, negotiate payment plans, resolve problems, hold orders, threaten, beg, plead.

It was exhausting.

And it's not me.

While I continue to remain thankful to have employment, I have to wonder why God put me there of all places. He knows I'm not hard core like that, so why would He put me there?

I don't get it.

A few months ago, when I shared that I was offered a short-term assignment at this company, someone left me a comment on my blog - anonymously of course - that really hurt me. I didn't publish it because I just didn't want that negativity on my blog, nor did I respond to it here because I didn't want them to have the satisfaction of knowing their words hurt.

But they did.

Very much, in fact. Because even though the comment was posted anonymously, I know who left it.

We call each other friend.

And to you, friend, I say this.

You judged me for taking this job, accused me of bringing darkness home to my family, and said that a good mother stays home with her children where they are needed. You even threw in a dig about my husband, asking why he didn't provide for our family instead of me.

You read my blog regularly. I see you show up in my statcounter. You know the hell we have walked through in the last year and half. You knew how battered and broken we were. You read my posts where I talked about how hard my husband was looking for work after he was laid off. Yet in spite of all of that, you chose to kick me when I was down.

Let me tell you what a good mother does, friend. She puts the needs of her family first. She willingly goes to a job that takes almost everything out of her, every day, because she loves her family. She shows her daughters that there is more to her than cooking, cleaning and changing diapers. She shows her sons that wives are equal to their husbands and are fully capable of sharing the load of providing. She is a helper and encourager to her husband. I'm sad that you don't see the benefits my husband and children reap by having him as the stay-at-home parent, and that you don't afford him the same respect you would for a mother. Fathers are equally as capable of caring for their children and homes as mothers are.

Do I bring your accused darkness home to my family? I try my hardest not to. I cry it out on my way home. I'll stop in an empty schoolyard, crying and praying that I won't bring any heaviness home. Sometimes I fail miserably, but I won't ever stop trying.

Being at home doesn't make me a good mother, and working doesn't make me a bad one. I do my very best every day - be it at home or in an office - to love and provide for my children, to let them know they are valued and precious and so loved.

I'm so sad that you felt you had to say those things - and more - to me. I would have had more respect for you had you signed your name to them.

I have something to say to you in return.

I forgive you.

I'm sorry that you felt you had to attack me. I'm sure you had your reasons. Maybe you stand by the words you wrote. It doesn't matter, because I'm choosing to forgive you. I will continue to banter with you, and encourage you and pray for you. I just wanted you to know that I know it was you and you are forgiven.

And on that note, I'm letting go of this and I'm going to bed.

End of the Weekend Rambling Thoughts

My four days at home are over. Back to work tomorrow.

I completely forgot about my job while I was home. For the life of me I can't remember my password to log into my computer. Tomorrow morning should be interesting.

Ian and Sam had a fantastic time at FanExpo. I'm so glad they went and had that guy-time together. Ian brought home tons of stuff for the children.

And for me.

Like Lou Ferrigno's AUTOGRAPH!!!

Eeeeee!!

Ian won lots of stuff too, and met several actors he likes. And saw the DeLorean from the Back to the Future movies.

I loved pretending I was a stay-at-home mom again. I've done so many loads of laundry this weekend that I've lost count. Of course I left my own to the very end, and now I can't go to sleep until the last load goes in the dryer.

Oh Kate.

I went through the Littles' clothes and pulled out all their outgrown stuff and washed and put away all the next sizes. I have two big bags plus a box for donation. Usually I cry when I do this task, but this time around I didn't feel a thing.

Matthew is walking more and more on his own. Sometimes he pushes my hand away and tries to go longer on his own. Today he fell against the corner of the coffee table and banged his eye. He's no worse for the wear, and his eye looks just fine.

I managed to break two glasses in one day.

We've found a second car that we'd like to buy. Hoping to nail that down this week.

Julie had some one-on-one time with my mom last night. They baked cookies and brownies together. She's so thankful for that special time with her Gram. I am too.

The children have one last week of summer vacation left. I hope at the end of it they will feel rested for their return. Sam will be entering the 8th grade, Julie is going into the 6th grade and our Jordan, as you know, will be starting junior kindergarten. I'm very happy that their school is one of the few remaining schools that offer half-day classes for JK. A full day of school for a small four year old is too much in my opinion.

I'm feeling very heavy hearted tonight. Life feels backwards. I feel in my heart that I belong at home, yet I'm not. Ian longs to be back working, but he isn't. We each want to be in the other's shoes.

Always, always, always....we are grateful for this new life. Thankful for this chance to rest and breathe and start over. We never would have made it to this place without God's grace, mercy and provision. The wait was long and painful and scary, but He brought us to a place we never could have imagined.

Time for bed.

5QF ~ August 24

 

It's Friday afternoon and the sun is streaming in through every window. I am at home, and I am happy. Ian and Sam are attending FanExpo and I took yesterday and today off work to hold down the fort here.

 

I've missed this so much more than I could ever express. This is where my heart is. Changing diapers, fixing peanut butter sandwiches, wiping noses, serving juice, putting littles down for their naps. I'm just soaking it all in.

 

Happy.

 

Last weekend I took the children shopping for back to school stuff. It didn't take Jordan very long to get into the swing of clothes shopping. For the most part her clothes are either hand-me-downs, which I'm fine with, or given as gifts. It was fun to see her choosing things she liked and wanted to wear. Sam found a cool pair of shoes and a couple of shirts, and Julie chose a couple of lightweight sweaters and a tank to wear underneath. Jordan found her much dreamed of, overly talked about, backpack. I think you could have heard her "that's the one Mom!" all through the mall. Apparently I'm the best mom ever for buying it.

 

Every time I stood at the cash register to pay, I was reminded of how different last year's back to school shopping was, and that Texas sized knot in the pit of my stomach as I worried about how I would pay the credit card bill. I am so thankful for the financial freedom we have now. We didn't go overboard, but it was a sweet relief to know I could buy them what they needed.

 

After nineteen years together as a single-car couple, Ian and I are now actively searching for a second car.  We need something to get me to and from work that is easier on gas, so that Ian will have the van to take the children to and from school and for errands. We've looked at a few used ones and have a rough idea of what we want and what we don't want. I said I wanted something with four doors, didn't stink, and wasn't silver, gold or yellow.

We checked out a couple of lots yesterday and one was really, really run down. One car we looked at nearly knocked me over by the smell when Ian opened the door for me to get inside. "No." I said, looking at him. I wasn't even concerned with my manners, I was so grossed out. I fell in love with a two door, bright yellow (two of my "no" items on the list) Sunfire. The longer I sat in it, the more it seemed like the best idea ever. I wasn't thinking about whether it was practical, or that I'm old, or that I have a herd of children. Ian wasn't saying anything and then I asked, "Oh my gosh, am I having a mid-life crisis??" He didn't sugar coat his yes.

Whew. That was close.

 

Julie signed up for dance classes starting next month. She's been wanting to take a hip hop class for ages now, so I'm really happy she can do it now.

 

In just a couple of weeks, both Sam and Julie will be going away on the junior high youth retreat with Ian and the youth group. It'll just be the littles and me. 7pm bedtimes for all of us!!

 

Matthew hasn't walked on his own again, the lazy bum. He does, however, love to walk holding on to my hand. Such a sweet boy.

 

Ok, time for Five Question Friday and then I'm off to play with my littles in the backyard!

 

    1. If you could have been (could be) any profession you wanted (brains and $$$ no problem) what would it be?

I used to want to be a lawyer when I grew up. But if I had pursued that career, I wouldn't have the life I have now, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that for the world.

2. How often do you clean out your car?

Never. However, Ian and the big kids do it every week or so.

3. Do you wish there was such a thing as fashion police or are you deeply relieved?

There needs to be some sort of fashion police fo sho.

Socks and sandals? Strapless dresses with bra straps? Invisible bra straps? Jeggings?

Oh yes. We need some sort of control here, people.

4. What's your go to food/drink/activity when stressed?

There is something about a hot cup of tea that just makes life better.

5. If you had twins, what would you name them?

Names I love right now are Amy and Joe.

That's it! Head on over to Mama M's blog My Little Life to join in on the fun and meet some other awesome bloggers!

Big Day

Today was very exciting at our place - Matthew took his first steps!

I had just arrived home from the office and immediately went to see him in his playpen. Ian said Mattie had the beginnings of a cold so I wanted to check him out and cuddle him for a bit. He was so squirmy so I put him down to walk him around a bit but he let go of my fingers and took a couple of steps toward Ian all by himself.

!!!

He's brilliant!!

Of course, as soon as he realized he was going solo he dropped to his knees, laughing. I stood him up again and he took a couple more steps before sitting down. He looked mighty pleased with himself.

I was so afraid that I would miss his first steps while I was at work, but not two minutes after arriving home, he did it. My friend Laura said it was as though he was waiting for me.

Such a sweet, unexpected, blessing tonight.

He's certainly a busy boy when he's just crawling.... but once he gets the hang of this walking thing... look out Mama!

5QF ~ August 17

I'm so excited it's Friday and I get to be home with the family for two whole days. I'm going to putter my heart out, and play with and love on my children. Next week will be a short one for me as I'm only working Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Ian and Sam have tickets to a four day conference so they'll be going back and forth every day and I need to be here with the other three kids. I'm going to love every minute of it, and I'm going to pretend I'm a stay at home mom again. Oh how I miss that life.

Tonight Sam and Julie are at a movie all nighter at youth group. I don't think Julie will make it past midnight, and I'm guessing Sam will drop by 3am. Ian is there until midnight helping to supervise.

The littles and I had a quiet evening together. Matthew played in his playpen and Jordan curled up next to me and played with her DS while I read my book. I'm currently reading a memoir by Brenda Warner and it really has my interest. I must have been quite wrapped up in it because at one point I looked up to see that Mattie had fallen asleep in his playpen with his sweet arms wrapped around his stuffed puppy, and Jordan was sleeping next to me on the couch. I let them sleep like that for a short while and just enjoyed the calm quiet and togetherness. I've been craving some of that for awhile now and I really enjoyed it.

Matthew's new game is to drop something and say "uh oh" and look at me expectantly. I give him back what he wants and he repeats it. That game got old fast with kid #1 and here I am still playing it with #4!

I had two really good visits with my mom this week. I just love being with her. Sam often comes with me when I go over and loves to tell my mom funny stories and jokes to make her laugh. He says he loves going there because her house is like his second home. Last night he got talking about the special bond he feels he has with her and that just warms my heart. So much love in our family.

For the last couple of weeks I've been setting my alarm for 6:15am each morning so I can do all the things I need to do without rushing around. I'm loving the extra time to shower and dress, do my hair and pack my lunch. I even have time to sit quietly and do my daily devotions. I bought Jesus Calling about a month ago and I love it. Often I will be struck by a particular day's devotion because it will address something on my heart or that I'm struggling with. I find that setting aside quiet time with the Lord first thing really helps me feel more connected to Him as I go about my day.

Ok! It's time for Mama M's Five Question Friday blog hop!

   

1. What's the one thing you buy every time you walk into the store?

Milk! We can't keep milk in the house. There are six of us that drink it and we go through almost a bag every day.

I also love fresh strawberries. I cut them up and mix in some Splenda to take to work for dessert every day at lunch.

2. If you had a day all to yourself how would you spend it?

I'd sleep in until 8, then have my tea and breakfast on the back deck while doing my devotions. I'd putter around the house, enjoying the quiet. I'd read a bit, nap a bit, and putter some more.

3. Are you a speed limit driver? If not, over or under?

I always drive the speed limit on the highway which is 100 km. It makes me twitchy when people tell me I have to drive 110 or more "to keep up with the flow of traffic". Just because everyone else is speeding doesn't mean I have to. I've yet to get a speeding ticket and I'd like to keep it that way.

I have been known to speed on country roads when no one else is around. I'll speed a little if I think I'm going to be late, and I might drive slower if I'm headed somewhere I don't particularly want to go.

4. What's your favorite dessert to make, homemade or from a mix??

Cake balls are a family favourite and so easy to make. I haven't had any extra time to make them in the last four months since I've been back to work and let's just say, the natives are growing restless.

I love to make Skor Squares because they're so quick and simple to make and everyone loves them.

And I love to make cupcakes and decorate them with high frosting and just watch the children enjoy them.

 5. Would you rather have a spider or a mouse scurry across your face (no copping out and saying "neither!!")?

Oh my word that's just so gross. I'll say spider because maybe it would be a skinny spider and I wouldn't feel it running over me. A mouse would surely cause my sudden death from fright. And grossed-out-ness.

That's it for me! Head on over to Mama M's blog My Little Life to join in on the fun!

   

Wordless Wednesday

Every Day I See This

Every morning I come into the office and see this.

It irrates my OCD.

Ahh....much better.

Friends

Julie has been longing to make some new friends

here in our new neighbourhood.

Looks like she's been pretty successful, don't you think?

Late Again With My Five Question Friday

It's a slow, rainy afternoon here, a perfect day to curl up on the couch and blog. We're all doing our own things right now but will be heading shortly. Sam is meeting some of his friends at the mall, I am going to a memorial service, and Ian has a magic show.

This week was very busy for me. I went in to the office early a few mornings and stayed late a few afternoons. There is always so much work to do and never enough time to do it all. I try not to get too stressed by it all and remind myself I can only do what I can do and that tomorrow is another day, but I`m starting to feel it.

The company I was temping at while I was pregnant with Matthew called me this week. They wanted to know if I could go back to work for them on contract until the end of August. It's very flattering that they still think of me a year and a half later, when I only worked for them for six months in the first place. I said no. I am compensated exceptionally well where I am and I would be crazy to give that up.

Julie, Sam and I saw the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie on Thursday night. So cute. I loved being with them and we all enjoyed it. It was nice to hang out with my big kids and be able to focus solely on them.

Yesterday I woke up with such a happy heart. I am so grateful for where we are right now, and for the rest we`ve been able to enjoy. I never thought that after having everything stripped away one by one, that I would end up so peaceful.

This morning mom and I went to bingo. We didn`t win anything but I enjoyed being with her. I need to learn to talk less while at bingo. Well, frankly I could learn to talk less in all areas of my life but we don`t need to go there right now.

Once again I`m late with my answers for Five Question Friday but I`m doing it anyway.

  1. Thunder storms- love them or hate them?

I love them. If I can, I like to sit on the porch to watch them. I love the smell of rain.

2. Do your kids get back to school clothes?

Yes. I used to buy them all new wardrobes for school but then I realized how crazytown that was and now they get a new outfit each for the first day. If there are things they need they always get them but I`ve toned it right down. Jordan will need some new things, and shoes for all, but that`s it.

3. Do you golf? Do you watch it?

I don`t golf. I tried it once, it was more than enough, and you`ll never catch me doing it again. Ever. I don`t get the allure of it at all. You hit the ball (hopefully in the right direction), walk walk walk to get it, then you hit it away from you again. Fer dumb. And it`s crazy expensive. In my opinion golf is a colossal waste of time and money.

I don`t watch it on tv either. To me that would be as exciting as watching paint dry.

I  love watching Ian (who is an amazing golfer) at the driving range, and could sit there watching him for hours.

Golf  carts are fun though.

4. Showers or baths?

Definitely showers. Baths are like sitting in a tub of dirty water. That you then wash yourself with. And just sitting there with nothing to do. I like the occasional bubble bath but that`s it.

5. What's the strangest meal you ever ate?

I make a point of not eating strange food. I did try calamari once and I`m still grossed out.

That`s it for me - enjoy your Saturday!

End of the Long Weekend

It's the end of the long weekend and I'm refusing to go to bed, because once I wake up it will be time to get ready for work and the rush-rush of my day will take over. I've enjoyed these slow days with my peeps.

Yesterday I went to visit my mother for a bit. My aunt leaves this Wednesday and I'm so sad about that. I feel as though I hardly got to see her this time around and I hate that. She says she understands, between the move, working and my little people. Still...

Last night the girls and I headed over to the park so see if there were any kids for Julie to meet. She's so lonely here. Finally I texted Ian and he came to join us, got a basketball game started and before long he had five kids playing. Julie ended up meeting another girl close in age and they spent the next hour talking and laughing.

I can't remember if I wrote about the single mother I met at the park last Sunday. She has three children, the youngest with Down Syndrome and blood cancer. I was really hoping that I'd run into her again last night and I did. We spent quite a bit of time talking together while our kids played with each other. I'm praying that God will be able to use me to give this new friend some comfort or support.

Julie, Jordan and I went to Lowes tonight to pick out some flowers for the back deck but they were closing early because of Civic Day. So we decided to drop by our old neighbourhood so Julie could say hello to the friends she's been missing for so long. I knew it wasn't going to be a good thing for me to see the house but I wanted to make Julie happy. Turns out no one was around so it was kind of a bust. I slowly drove past the house and my stomach started to hurt. It still feels like ours and now some stranger was living in it. I just felt so sad and displaced. I have always had such a hard time letting go of people, places and things. While I feel a sense of freedom being gone from there, I also feel great sadness. So many memories.  I'm not going to go back for awhile, maybe not ever. Ian said he would take her there whenever she wanted to see her friends. You know, I still feel sad when I drive past the house I lived in until I was fourteen. And when my mother sells her house I likely will never drive down that street again.

My attachment to things is really unhealthy. I must do something about that, because they're just things.

Last week my friend gave birth to her sweet son on the same day another friend's sweet father passed away in India after a four month long illness. I only met him once but I sensed his kindness immediately.  So many people I care about are hurting these days and I am at a loss as to how to help them. Life can really hurt.

I've rambled long enough. My load of laundry is almost finished drying and I need to settle myself down so I can go to sleep. This will be a busy week.

My Late Five Question Friday

It's a long weekend for us here in Canada and I'm happy to be home with my family for three whole days.

 

I can hardly believe we are into August now and the summer is half over. This time next month the kids will be getting ready to return to school. Sam will be going into the 8th grade, Julie into the 6th and Jordan will be starting Junior Kindergarten. Our school is one of the few Catholic schools left that are still offering half day classes. All the others have moved to full-day which I don't like.

 

We had Willow fixed this week. We held off doing so because we had been approached by an acquaintance about using Willow for stud service. We ended up not doing that, and so we had him fixed. Ian had found a lump on Willow's tail and so the vet removed it at the same time. Because the tail is a sensitive part, the vet couldn't close the wound after he cut off the cyst, so he had to leave it open and wrap it with dressings. He said the last time he closed that type of wound, he did it too tight and that dog ended up losing circulation in his tail and the tail had to be amputated. So, Willow spends his days working at the dressings until he gets them off, I see the open wound and practically barf and Ian wrestles him to re-dress it. Fun times.

 

In case you were wondering what all the cheers and squeals of excitement coming from our house this week were all about, I'll tell you. Jordan is fully daytime and night time potty trained!! She hasn't worn a pull-up in almost two weeks. YEEHAW!

 

Thursday evening I went out to see Step Up Revolution at the movies. SO GOOD. Then we stood in the parking lot and talked forever. It was midnight when I got home.

 

I'm hanging in at work but my workload is growing constantly. There is a lot of pressure to produce and it's really getting stressful. I don't enjoy being a working mother. I never was very good at it, and this time around isn't any different. I'm mentally exhausted by the time I get home and I don't feel as though I have much left to offer my family at that point. It's sad. I'm sad. I just wish I could be at home with the children, cooking and cleaning and doing laundry and playing with them in our awesome new backyard. I hate how wrung out I feel. But in the midst of all my emotions, I remain thankful for the provision of this job. I am paid very well for what I'm doing, and I have my manager's respect and support. Those things are huge and I'm grateful for them. And my co-workers laugh at my jokes, so that's awesome.

 

Today I unpacked all of my books and clothes, and set up my desk. I figured it was time, you know, since we've been here a month now. Sometimes it feels like home, sometimes it doesn't. Hopefully now that my things are put away I'll feel a little more rooted. I love everything about this house. I just need to feel more settled. This week I started missing our old house. Everything there was safe and comfortable. Familiar.

 

Matthew calls for me only when he's upset, and he calls me MaMaMa. So cute. He's currently drinking milk and eating a little piece of brownie and is happy as a clam.

 

Julie has been busting her butt around the house this past week and helping Ian with his errands. Sam is loving his new contacts and can now put them in on the first try.

 

I'm hoping to visit with my mother tomorrow. I haven't seen her since she was here on Tuesday and I'm missing her.

 

I'm late for Mama M's Five Question Friday but I still want to participate so here goes. If you click on the button below you will be taken to her awesome blog.

    1. What is a must in a hotel room?

It has to be clean and not have any bugs.

I used to LOVE staying in hotels but then I watched an expose on Dateline and they told me all about the grodiness that goes on in hotels. Like the comforters only get washed once every six months. And they used infra-red lighting or whatever and you WOULD NOT BELIEVE what showed up on the carpets and walls. GRODY. And they showed a clip of the maid rinsing out the glasses... not washing them, just running them under water and putting them upside down to dry. So gross.

So now I pull the comforter and the blanket right off the bed so I don't get anyone else's DNA on me, only use the glasses if they are the pre-wrapped plastic ones and I wear my shoes until the final moment before I get into bed.

Thanks a lot for ruining hotel life for me, Dateline.

A dark room is always good too.

2. Which Olympic event would you be best at?

If worrying, napping or sarcasm were events, I would win gold in all three.

3. What's your stance on the Chick-fil-A subject?

Well you can add CFA to the list of awesome things we don't have here in Canada. I hear their food is awesome.

I am 100% in support of Dan Cathy's right to state his religious beliefs and I am beyond disgusted that he has been attacked for doing so. He is not a gay-hater.  He simply believes that marriage is between a man and a woman, which is a part of his faith. He does not fund gay hate groups. I researched a bit about him and he financially supports different family and marriage ministries that are in line with his beliefs. If he is a true Christian then he is called to love God and to love others. ALL others. An anyone who has a problem with anyone stating their beliefs towards homosexuality, then they need to take it up with God Himself - He's pretty clear about His stance on that. He's also exceptionally clear that He loves us deeply and longs for each of us to know Him. I'm sure He grieves watching this nonsense unfold - putting an issue like this over the hearts of others.

I read somewhere this past week that the mayor of Boston who wrote the letter that caused all this drama has backed down from his stance and admitted he was wrong to write the letter in the first place. And that Huckabee character appointing Aug 1st as CFA appreciation day? He wasn't any better.

That said, judging from the sheer number of people that went to CFA on Aug 1, Dan Cathy is far from alone in his beliefs.

We need to stop looking at from an "us vs them" mentality and just do what God asks of His children: love Him and love others.

4. One thing you said you'd never do as a parent, but totally have.

I was never going to say "because I said so" But sometimes that's the only answer I've got.

I also said I was never going to make my kids eat vegetables but I do.

And that using the tv as a babysitter thing...? Yep.

5. What's the weirdest thing you've ever found at a yard sale?

I don't like yard sales so I don't go to them. I am not interested in buying other people's junk. That said, we did score a sweet Little Tykes picnic table for the children at a yard sale we went to a couple of weeks ago that our friends had as a fundraiser. They are trying to get enough financial support to move to Bolivia for a year. I put aside my snobby ways to make sure I was there to support them. We bought some raffle tickets and I won a $150 gift card to Lowes! Good thing, we need to replace our screen door.

That's it for now. We're having a heck of a storm right now and I want to sit on the porch and smell it. I just love the smell of rain.

Four Days

This past weekend was lovely. I'd taken off Friday and Monday so it was like a mini-vacation. Much needed, and very enjoyable.

Thursday night we ate dinner on the deck, and then Ian had to head out to a meeting at the church. Sam and I sat together talking for over two hours about everything under the sun.

Friday morning I dropped off our van at the mechanic for some repairs. In order to have the ownership transferred, it has to be completely certified and there were a few issues our mechanic needed to repair before he can sign off on it. Mom followed me there, then brought me back to her house for a visit with her and my aunt. I told Ian I was only going to stay for half an hour, but it was more like an hour and half before I left.

Friday night was youth group for Ian, Sam and Jules. I played in the backyard with Jordan and Matt, splashing in their water table right along with them. After Mattie went to bed, Jordan and I sat on the front porch waiting for Ian and the big kids to come home.

Saturday afternoon Sam and I went over to my mom's for a visit, then I left to take Sam to a birthday party, returned to mom's for my nephew's birthday dinner. Shortly after, I left to get Sam and brought him back in time for my nephew to open his gifts. We stayed until about 9:30 and headed home.

When we got home it was close to ten, and I called Julie upstairs and told her I was kidnapping her and she didn't have time to change out of her pjs. We headed over to Dairy Queen and ate our ice cream on their patio, talking and laughing.

Sunday afternoon the girls and I drove to Orangeville to shop for a bit. I needed a few more clothing items for work and Julie is my personal stylist. We found several pieces that would work well with my existing wardrobe and didn't break the bank. The saleswoman was surprised to hear that Julie was only 11 and complimented her on her fashion sense. Julie was glowing.

Sunday night we all headed over to the park. Ian played basketball with Julie & Sam while I played with the Jordan and Matthew. After awhile I sat down with Matt and a woman on the next bench struck up a conversation. She seemed so tired, and when she spoke to me she was very harsh and had a tinge of anger to her voice. We were talking about how many kids we had when she said she had three and was a single mother, and had to be all things to each child. One of her children has Down Syndrome and blood cancer. And then she sighed, and it was like all the air came out of her body as she admitted how hard it has been and how tired she was. I had no idea what to say to comfort her, so I just listened. I think that was all she needed, was to have someone just to listen. I've been praying for her and her daughter, and I'm hoping I'll run into her again so if she'd like to, we can talk some more.

Monday we went to the African Lion Safari. It was a beautiful day for it. Not too hot, not too crowded. We started and ended with the baboons, and in between saw lions and zebras, bird and elephant shows, had a picnic, ate ice cream, Jordan rode a horse, all three kids played in the waterpark. We were exhausted coming home.

And today it was back to work. I was very heavy hearted leaving the house today and had a little cry on the way to work. I'm so thankful that our circumstances have changed so drastically, and that we have a steady income coming in. So thankful. Which is why I get so frustrated with myself for feeling sad that I'm not at home. I miss being with Ian all day. I love him so dearly, and as much as I love and miss my children while I'm at work, I miss Ian on a whole other level.

Today is a very special day in our house: Sam turned 13. I always cry on my children's birthdays. Always. Today was no exception. I kept thinking of his birth day, and how scared I was to become a mother. Responsible for someone who was so tiny and so dependent upon me. I looked into his face and saw a million ways I was afraid I would mess up this kid. I remember his first cry like it was just moments ago. How his first breath was like my own, because at that moment my life truly began. He breathed life into me in a way that I was completely unprepared for. I had purpose.

Every year on the children's birthdays I tell my children about their birth days. Julie can't hear hers enough. I thought maybe Sam was too old this year, but I was wrong.

Sam's birthday dinner request? Meat. So, Ian bbq'd burgers, wings and ribs. Mom and my aunt came for cake and to open gifts. Lovely times. At one point I smiled at Sam and said "so much love in this house" and he smiled at me and just melted me.

And our poor Willow... he was neutered today and had a large cyst removed from his tail. The vet said it was benign which was a huge relief for all of us to hear. He's moving slowly tonight but is doing ok.

While I feel as though these four days passed by in the blink of an eye, they were packed full with family time and for that I am grateful. Family ti

More Rambling

I've been a very lazy blogger lately. Seems like there's always so much going on and I don't have a lot of energy left at the end of the day to blog.

I'm currently enjoying a four day weekend. Yesterday I visited with my mom and aunt for awhile and enjoyed a nap in the afternoon. I went to bed early and read until I fell asleep, missing the opening ceremonies for the Olympics. Apparently Canada has yet to win a medal.

Lots of drama surrounding Chick-Fil-A this week. It's crazy how out of control people are getting. I asked a sincere question on a friend's facebook wall the other day and someone posted in response to me, absolutely losing her mind. I wasn't looking for an argument - I simply wanted to know why it is considered hatred to disagree with the gay lifestyle. And like I said, she lost her mind. She ranted at me and insulted me, and she didn't even ask my position on the topic. I was so embarrassed for her. It's people like that who lose any sort of credibility in explaining their position. I feel sorry for people who have such anger in them. What hurt the most wasn't her hateful words to me, it was that my friend kept absolutely silent and let it happen. That really stung. I think people need to just settle down and stop pushing their opinions on to others, and be more concerned with loving each other.

I'm loving Sam's new haircut. And today he got contacts. He was at the optometrist for two and a half hours learning how to put them in and take them out. He looks like a different kid.

Julie and Jordan also had their hair cut this week. Mattie needs his cut but I don't know what to do with it. Brush cut? Spiky? I don't know.

My nephew turned 20 today and Sam and I went to my mom's for his birthday dinner. We got home just before ten, and then I kidnapped Julie and we went to Dairy Queen. It was a beautiful night so we ate our ice cream outside, talking and laughing together.

Our Jordan has been exceptionally chatty this week and makes us laugh with her antics. She cannot wait to go to school this fall, and talks constantly about all the friends she's going to have and the snacks she's going to bring.

Matthew can now say dada, cookie and mama. His little voice is so adorable.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping for some more work clothes and Monday we're all going to the African Lion Safari. So excited.

Ok, I'm done. 'Night all!

Nine Rambling Thoughts

1} In just over a week I will be the mother of a teenager as Sam turns 13 on the 31st. It continues to amaze me how quickly children grow up. I am so proud of who he is and the goals and morals he has. He's getting his hair cut tomorrow and I am beyond excited. He has that long skater hair and now he wants to get it shorter. I hope he goes through with it!

2} We bought Julie a cell phone this past weekend. I never in a million years thought I'd let her get one at this age, so imagine the shock I gave myself when I told Ian that I thought she should have one. In our old neighbourhood was very contained and had a little park in the middle. There were always tons of kids out playing and we felt Julie was safe. She had to check in regularly with us so that we knew she was ok. But that 30-minute check in wasn't working here in our new neighbourhood. She was running home to check in, then when she'd return to the park the kids she was playing with would be gone. She's so lonely here. The cell phone will enable her to check in without leaving where she is, and we know she's safe. Not to mention if anything happened the police would be able to track her through her cell.

3} Jordan makes us laugh every day. The big kids taught her the word "lame" and she uses it more than she ever should, but it makes me laugh. I know I shouldn't have but it just was so funny. So now it's in her regular vocabulary.

4} Matthew has four teeth and says "dada". All of the other children said "mama" first but they've all pulled together and taught him to say "dada". His voice is so precious.

5} I went to my mom's to visit with her and my aunt on Saturday morning. It always feels so good to be there with them. We talked and laughed and had egg salad sandwiches for lunch - my favourite.

6}  Sam stayed over at a friend's house on Saturday night and Ian and I took the girls and Mattie to a ribfest. They had a carnival, a little marketplace, beer tents and lots of rib stands. It was a lot of fun. Not sure I'd go again though - too many people.

7} Yesterday was the kind of Sunday I'd been longing for for awhile now. Slow and lazy, with a nap in the afternoon, grocery shopping and a visit from Ian's best friend Gary. Ian bbq'd ribs and wings and we ate outside on the deck.

8} I am completely overloaded at work with no let up in sight. We lost temp #4 on Thursday who left in a blaze of crazy and it doesn't look like we're going to be replacing her. I have a very full plate as it is, and was just handed more. All I can do is what I can do. I'm doing my best not to get stressed out.

9} Life feels good right now and we're in a good place. I'm happy. I'll suddenly feel a rush of happiness and well being, followed by thankfulness. It was so hard getting to this point, but it's all worth it now. God is so loving.

Ok that's it. I'm off to sleep!

Book Review: I Am Second

Countless stories. One incredible ending.

A major league baseball player. a Tennessee pastor. A reality TV star. a single mom. A multi-platinum rocker.

What do these people have in common?

They’ve all hit bottom.

And none of them stayed there.

Famous or unfamiliar, these are the stories of real people who reached the end of their strength, the end of their control, and found the most surprising truths.

It taught them not to rely on self or substance but to lean on the only completely reliable source of love, hope, and freedom: the God who created them. Shocking in their honesty, inspiring in their courage, these testimonies are critical reminders that no one is too far from God to find him.

Join these and thousands more who have discovered the lifechanging power in putting God first and proclaiming, “I am Second.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~   I was very touched by the stories of redeemed lives in this book.

People in the deepest, darkest pits, who realized that their true path to freedom was to realize that God is first, and they are second.

While this book was a very quick and easy read, you'll find that several of the stories will stay with you long after you've finished.

I love hearing what God is doing in people's lives. How He can change a person's circumstance so completely that there is no doubt that it was Him. I love hearing how someone who was completely broken, turned their eyes towards Jesus and were completely transformed. This book is full of stories of like that.

I would recommend this book to anyone who feels they are too far gone to be rescued, or anyone who doubts what God can do, and the love He has for each of us. No matter where we are, or what we've done.

Book has been provided courtesy of Thomas Nelson and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Thomas Nelson.

5QF ~ July 19

As I mentioned yesterday, Mama M is entrusting me with her Five Question Friday blog hop today while she's on vacation. She's off fishing and relaxing, and enjoying campfires with her family. But most of all she's enjoying the bugs. Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear Friday morning and LINK UP!

Mama M would love to link you in a future 5QF, so head on over to her community or watch for her Thursday afternoon shout outs for questions on Twitter and offer up your best question suggestions! Remember to @5crookedhalos her and use hashtag #5QF if you go the Twitter route!)

Special thanks to this week's contributors: Maranda (@MarandaLamping) at Maranda Lamping, Mama M (@5crookedhalos) at My Little Life, Melissa (@Melissa_M80, at My Scrumptious Treats, brand new mama Holly (@ByGollyMsHolly) at Life In HD and Gasfamily (@gasfamily) at TheGasFamily.

If you haven't met these lovely women yet then make a point of introducing yourself! They are kind, loving, and encouraging ladies and I'm thankful for each one of them.

And the questions are:

1} What do you call them- flip flops, sandals, thongs, or slippers?

Flip flops.

Sandals are those shoes that hook to your feet with straps, thongs are underwear and slippers are worn in the house.

2} Are you a "my kids can do no wrong" kind of mom or a "Johnny punched you? Well what did you do to him first?!" kind of mom?

I'd like to say I fall somewhere in the middle, but the truth is, if someone hurts my kid I'm all Mama Bear until I get the whole story.
3} Would you confront a good friend that looked/looks down on your husband/significant other?

Oh you'd better believe I would. I'd ask them outright why they were treating my husband like that and let them know I won't tolerate them treating him poorly. And if I found out they were badmouthing him behind my back? I'd confront them and then be done with them until they apologized to him. That's my best friend they'd be talking about. Oh hell no.
4} Biggest pet peeve?

I hate hearing people eat. I hate everything about it. The clinking of the silverware against the dish, the chewing, the swallowing... ugh. I'm aware I do the same, but it's just music to me. Everyone else...? Pet peeve!
5} What's your favorite take out meal?

Pizza Hut pizza. I haven't had it in years but I love it. And I love chinese take-out. Yum.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ *~ ~*~
Ok, that's a wrap! Make sure you link up and if you get the chance, hop around and check out some of the other blogs that have linked up and leave them some love. It's a great way to meet your fellow bloggers and make some new friends.

Happy Friday everyone!