Today's one of those days it's hit me.
I'm having another baby.
Clearly I know I'm having another one, but with all that's going on to occupy my mind, I'm still somewhat in denial.
I go about my day, working and doing what I can, then come home and go to bed. I'm used to being kicked constantly, I'm used to being exhausted, I'm used to being scared of what's to come.
I'm used to people ignoring that I'm expecting, used to people telling me I'm crazy for having a fourth child, used to people asking if this was an accident.
By the way, a baby is never an accident.
But today? Today was fun, and I have my mom to thank for that.
Mom picked me up this afternoon and we went baby clothes shopping. We started at The Children's Place - which I LOVE - and oohed and ahhhed over tiny little baby things. She bought him a few things there, then we headed over to Walmart, where she bought him even more things.
My mom is amazing. She's always so supportive of whatever I do, whether she agrees with me or not.
I clearly remember the afternoon I received the phone call with the very unexpected news that I was pregnant. I was shocked. And freaked out. And told the nurse she'd mixed up my lab results with someone else and she'd better get things straightened out ASAP because this was not funny.
As soon as I hung up the phone, Ian called. I told him what the nurse had said and he was accepting of it right away. Not angry, not freaked out. Just accepting that this was part of God's plan for our family.
It took me a couple of months to accept it myself. I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant anymore.
Then I called my mom. She answered the phone and had barely said hello when I started crying, telling her I was pregnant. She paused for a second and said, "Well, it's not the best time, but just think... another little person to love!"
And that's my mom. Calls it like it is, but always lovingly supportive.
We weren't expecting this little one, but God had him planned for us anyway. He will have purpose in this life, and already has his place in our hearts. We didn't think that less than a week after finding out I was pregnant that Ian would be laid off. But he was.
Isn't life a trip?
I can't wait to see his little face. Sam looks so much like Ian, and I bet Matthew will too :-)
Our hands will be full, no doubt about that. But our hearts will be too.
27 days until my due date. Ian and Mom are my coaches, just as they have been for Sam, Julie and Jordan. I can't imagine it any other way.
When Jordan was born I had a lot of visitors. As ungrateful as it sounds, I hope this hospital visit will be a little quieter. I appreciate everyone's excitement, but when you're in the hospital you aren't looking or feeling your best, and it's hard to entertain visitors (well meaning as they are!) when you're exhausted, you know?
I'd like to be able to have him, rest as much as possible while in the hospital, take him home and get him settled somewhat, and after a few days start having people over to meet him. That sounds fair, right?
OK, enough rambling for one day!