Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Changes

We are enjoying unseasonably warm temperatures this week and I'm so thankful for the sunshine. I'm sure we'll get more snow before Spring officially arrives, so I'm soaking this up.

The children all have small colds right now. Matthew's cough sounds a little croupy so Jordan and I took him outside this afternoon and sat on the porch for a half hour. I was hoping the fresh air would help him breathe better. Julie and Jordan chalked on the driveway while Matthew and I cuddled.

We made some decisions last week and after letting them sink in, I'm finally ready to share what's going on with us. I trust that I am safe to share my heart here and am hopeful that I won't receive too much judgement.

Ian and I have decided it's time to sell our house. We feel that by doing so, we will be able to eliminate our debts and start fresh, owing no one. We plan to find a home to rent and, after saving for a few years, purchase a new home. This is a temporary situation that will give our family a better future.

I am of two minds considering this decision.

On one hand, I am scared and I feel like a failure. We are not losing our home by any stretch, rather we are choosing to give it up. But still, we will no longer be able to call ourselves "homeowners". I didn't know I was so prideful...I thought this last year shattered any last vestiges of that, but I was wrong. I keeping thinking about what people will think of us.

And when I think about that a thought comes to me crystal clear... WHO CARES what people think of us? Everyone will have an opinion but the only opinions that matter are Ian's and mine. If someone judges us for this path, then they don't truly know or care about our hearts.

And on the other hand, people... I am excited! I have been absolutely longing for a fresh start and this will give us that. A chance to get out from under the debt and pressure and just start over. To be able to say that we don't owe anyone anything. To be able to go out to a movie and not worry about breaking the bank. Or to grocery shop without a pit in my stomach. To take our children on vacation.

Ian truly believes that this is God's will for our family and we are trusting in that. We told Sam and Julie after school on Friday and once they realized we planned to keep them in the same school and church, and that we'll be keeping our cat and dog, they began to get very excited. We explained that a house is just a building. But it's us that makes a home, and that can be anywhere.

I was nervous about telling my mom, but she was so supportive and is very excited to see where we end up. She agrees that a fresh start will be good for us.

We've started packing up the house and decluttering. I can't believe how much stuff we're throwing out and donating! Why oh why do we have so much stuff?? I can't wait to see the look on the guy's face when he comes to pick up our garbage tomorrow! I think he already hates us.

So there you have it. We are moving. We are moving. I think I need to say it out loud a few more times before it sinks in. I love this house. We've had a lot of wonderful memories here. But to be honest, we have a lot of painful ones too.

It's just a house, Kate.

So prepare yourselves, friends. I will be up and down and back and forth in the coming weeks. I may be sad, I may be excited, I may be overwhelmed and crabby... hang in there with me. And if you are so inclined, we are always thankful for any prayers said on our behalf.

There are many good days ahead.

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13 comments:

  1. I know that this has been a very difficult time for you and Ian. Making these kind of life-altering decisions can be very stressful. Just know that this family on the east coast of Florida is covering you all in prayer. I'm here for you every step of the way. Love you girlie!

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  2. I will be praying for you all! I can understand ups and downs with emotions so if you are all over the place, that is OK!
    It's wonderful that you are getting a fresh start. Who cares if you won't be "homeowners" for a season of time, you will be some day again, Lord willing!

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  3. we did that. One of the reasons we moved to Ontario when we did. It was nice being 100% debt free.

    Hugs sweetie.

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  4. And we will be right here, behind you 100% of the way! Only you know what is best for your wonderful family, and anyone that judges that needs more prayer than all of us combined. Love you friend...

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  5. Oh Kate...such a tough spot. I can't even imagine all of the emotions you're going through. But you are right, it's just a building...you have what matters most...your family! Fill yourself with positive people. We're nothing but excited for your fresh start & new beginnings...you got this girl! Big Squeeze!

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  6. Ohmigosh, I've been both a homeowner and a renter and can I just say that being a renter is SO much less stressful?! OMG! It's like a vacation! Fridge broken? NOT MY PROBLEM! Window leak? LANDLORD! Aaah! I love it. We would have continued renting probably forever if there were many rentals in this area. I can imagine how hard it is to leave the place you've known for so long, but the adventure of starting afresh with your family will bring you closer than ever before! AND you get to pretend you're on like 5 different HGTV shows. Dude. Awesome.

    Also? People who judge you for this are flat out morons. Seriously, I'm putting that out there. Morons who have no idea about anything. If they judge you, they goin be judgin you as you walk past them to the bank with a smile on your face while they stand there wondering what they're doing wrong with their empty heads, hearts and pockets.

    Rent away, dear Kate! And congratulations on making such a big decision! Keep us posted and know you're in my heart and prayers!!!! (Also consider Tennessee.)

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  7. Or Indiana. You could come to Indiana.
    Regardless, I'm excited for you at the idea of a fresh, clean start. I'm excited to see where God is leading you next. I know the last several months have been stressful, and hope this brings you a peace that you have been seeking!

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  8. Well, I commend you and your husband for this decision!! From someone who CRINGES at change, I admire this step. My husband reminds me all the time that its about our family and God, not what others think. Who are they? Lets face it they aren't the one stressing over the $$. So I will be praying for you and this new exciting time!

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  9. Congrats on the exciting change. Making a decision like this must feel like a load off your shoulders :) You are absolutely 100% not a failure - in fact doing what you feel is God's way for you makes you nothing but a winner, and something I totally admire and wish I had the strength to do more of. If you need help packing, moving, painting, or someone to watch your little angels for a few hours anytime let me know :) Many prayers!

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  10. Wow! Fresh starts are scary....and fun! I'm glad you're at peace with it. Dr. Seuss says it best: "BE WHO YOU ARE and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.

    Love you lady!

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  11. What's that quote I keep seeing on pinterest? Something about your home isn't where you are but who you share it with? Something to that effect. If this relieves some of the stress and is the right decision for you and your family, then anyone who judges you can go fly a kite :-) good luck to you and your family as you enter into this journey. I hope you will share some pictures!!

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  12. So - you posted since this post that you thought (mistakenly) that people would judge you and think you failed. You are doing soooooooo the opposite of failure. You are taking control of your life and the situation you are in (which you could not control) and doing a very smart thing. That is NOT failure. Its the hard thing to do. And the honorable thing - you are managing your finances. I'm proud of you - truly. Everything you are doing makes perfect sense, given the circumstances, but I don't know if I could be as brave. I'm looking forward to encouraging you and lifting you up throughout this whole process. Prayers for you sistah!!

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  13. Soooooo....maybe if I were up-to-date on reading....I would've commented a LOT sooner!! I mean, maybe!! ;) Totally kidding, sweet friend!

    You know that those of us who are your true, sister-in-Christ, friends - will ALWAYS be behind you and Ian and will lift you all up in PRAYER! That's what friends are for. And I'm so excited to see where you end up?!? I hear Midwest USA has some amazing rental possibilities! You know, in case you were wondering?!?!? :) Plus, free babysitting/hanging out and playing with kiddos!! Yep, you just totally turned to Ian and were like, "You know that girl I 'had' tea with that one morning...well, we're moving by her, for sure!!!!" ;) ;)

    Many continued prayers and I'm really going to try hard to stay caught up on the blog. Yikes! Sorry!!!!

    Love you

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