Tuesday, March 20, 2012

It's Just A House

That's what I keep telling myself.

It's just a house, Kate.

Yet, I am so sad to leave it.

I remember how we would drive by every single day during the building process, trying to figure out what work had been done that day. We would sit on the curb across the street and stare at it in silence, full of excitement.

"We're going to fill that house with children," we'd say.

And we have.

13 1/2 years we've lived here.

We chose the cupboards and the counters, the tiles in the bathrooms and carpet colours.

My mother and I wallpapered the living room, side by side.

I know all the floorboards that creak when you walk on them.

I can remember the day I brought each baby home from the hospital.

I love watching the sunset from my kitchen windows.

Letting go is so hard.

I am surrounded by half packed boxes and I feel like my house is in chaos.

I know that moving is the best thing for us, yet I am struggling with sadness and feeling so overwhelmed. There is much to be done.

One step at a time and it will get done. Just keep going, Kate, one step at a time.

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6 comments:

  1. Oh I know exactly how you feel! We were going to be moving. I grady just finally gotten over some of my tears and fears and memories (we also built and brought our babies into this home) and anxieties about the move (it would be taking us about two hours away from where we are now) until circumstances within AEP. froze any job openings in the area we planned planned on moving to. And now ya know what? I WANT to move! To create new memories and build the next chapter of our lives. Take it one day at a time. I hear ya!

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  2. It's easy to say in one breath that "It's just a house" when the reality is it's home. You've made it be home. And it's ok to be sad about leaving those physical reminders of the memories behind. But, remember, now you are sitting on the curb, and you're looking at new dreams, and new hopes, and new goals. You're looking at the next page in the story that is your life. You are allowed to be moved by the pages that are behind you, but remember to look forward with joy at the pages yet to be written!

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  3. Kate - I sent you a comment about how brave you are and how this is not failure. After reading this post, I now understand how incredibly hard this is. you built the house? You've been there soooo long? You hand picked it all? I can't imagine how excruciating this is for you, for the whole family. I am praying you through this....cause I just don't know if I could be so brave. No - I'm sad to say, I wouldn't be. Sad to say it because that means I would value my home more than my God and His Will. You clearly do not value your home more than God's will. Praying for you sister. God will honor your sacrifice and your faithfulness....He truly will!

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  4. HUGS HUGS HUGS! I am so very proud of you. You are in my thoughts and prayers every single day. I love you! Big things are coming...you guys are due for some good news! <3

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  5. Ugh Kate...what a tough situation! I wish there was something I could do to help. Know that I'm praying for for strength and guidance for you and your family.. How brave [& responsible!] of you and Ian. Also...feel better soon!! Big Hugs!

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