Happy Birthday Sam!

Today my wonderful son turned 10.

10?

How did that happen?

Didn't he just arrive yesterday?

Oh, how the years have flown by...

Sam wanted to get up at 6am to open his gifts together so (*yawn*) that's what we did. The children climbed into our bed with us while he opened one after another until the big finale - a DSI that he had been aching for. He was beyond thrilled.

Sam chose Mc'D's for dinner and Cats & Dogs for our family movie night. He loved his Cherry Chip birthday cake, baked by yours truly.

Happy Birthday, Sam. I love you so, so much.

Alive & Kicking

Yep. That's me.

I haven't felt moved to blog lately because I haven't been feeling like myself and didn't want that to show. I feel as though I am under tremendous spiritual attack and I am tired. I don't like the way I'm feeling. My faith is being tested and and I'm failing.

More on that another time. Not today.

I won the weekly trivia contest for the second week in a row. Last week was a $15 gift card for Subway and today's prize was a $15 gift card for Tim Hortons.

Sigh.

I know. What could be sweeter??

The Bachelorette ended this week and once again I am horrifically disappointed in this show.

Say it with me, friends....

"I am never watching this show again. EVER!"

Honestly! Why on earth would Jillian pick Ed over REID!? She was almost as annoying as Bachelorette Trista. Almost.

So it's over now and I need a new show. I can't/don't want to get into Big Brother because watching a bunch of people stuck in a house together is very boring to me. Hell's Kitchen is a very angry show, so I certainly don't need that, thank you very much.

Tomorrow is Samuel's 10th birthday. How the heck did that happen?? He's such a great kid and I absolutely adore him. I just took his birthday cake out of the oven and will ice it in the morning. It'll have to be at the crack of dawn when I do it too! Sam wants to get up at 6:30am to open his gifts.

!!!

Tonight I met up with the other two Girls Club leaders to plan for our fall session. Lots of good ideas. We're going to have a Girl's Spa Day on Aug 24th and give the girls manicures and pedicures while they sip on lemon water in pretty glasses and eat pizza. "K" will prepare a devotion on what God says real beauty is, not what the world teaches us. We're going to incorporate some new things too, like a prayer box and worship time, as well as how to reach more girls with this ministry. It's going to be a great year.

I am so excited that this weekend is a long weekend. We're going to my mother's for a bbq to celebrate Sam's birthday with the family, but other than that we don't have anything going on. I'm looking forward to being with Ian and the children.

That's it for me. Over and out.

Girl's Weekend

It's just me and my beautiful girls this weekend :-)

Last night we all drove up north to the campground where Sam and Ian are camping for the weekend. The girls and I hung around while they set up camp then enjoyed a few s'mores together before heading home, leaving them to their male bonding.

The trip home should have taken us about 50 minutes.

But...

It took us about ten minutes to find our way out of the campground. We just kept driving around and around...

Then we had to stop at Dairy Queen to fortify us for the ride home. I am sure you understand the importance of such a stop.

Then there were a couple of stops to reset the dvd player so that the girls could watch another episode of Hannah Montana. (Again, I am sure you see the importance here as well)

I don't particularly enjoy driving. I don't like to drive in the dark, rain, snow, traffic, on the highways or pretty much any day ending in "y".

We made it home in about an hour and a half. Julie was waiting at the front door while I was just about to get Jordan out of her car seat when I realized I had forgotten to stop for milk for this morning.

Ahem.

We all got back into the van, went to the gas station and bought a carton of milk (which I never do because there is something about buying milk at a gas station that is about 5 kinds of wrong) and we made it back home again.

Whew!

The girls were in bed by (gulp) 11:10pm and I enjoyed a very peaceful couple of hours watching whatever I wanted to watch on tv and chatting to a friend on facebook.

But mostly I missed my boys.

(I slept on the couch so I could hear the killer when he arrived. That's right - he's not going to sneak up on ME)

Today I am taking the girls to Build A Bear and then we're going to "do lunch". Tonight we'll pull out the sofa-bed and sleep there while watching movies until we fall asleep.

Sweet.

I saw this video this morning and I loved it!



Have a great day!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am so thankful for my family and good friends who are faithfully praying for me. I haven't been myself for awhile now and I've been struggling in so many areas.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.

For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.

Psalm 40:11-13

Keep praying for me, my loved ones. I need you now more than ever.

Four Things

My temp job has been extended for another four weeks, possibly more. They don't really know how long they will need me. But they have assured me that I will be given two weeks notice. Nice.

I met up with Jen for coffee this week. I haven't done that in two months! :-( As always it felt so good being with her again. We laughed and talked and talked (and I cried, big shock).

Today Ian and I took the children to a carnival. I'd been looking forward to it since we went last July. The day started out with a torrential downpour but the sun came out and it was a gorgeous day. I even saw my childhood friend, Marilyn. Sweet.

After two or more months of looking, I finally found a new purse. Julie helped me find it. She was so patient through all of my "it's too big/too small/hate the strap/pockets/colour/shape/I hate purse shopping/I'm never going to find one I like" etc. and produced one that I loved. $100 marked down to $25. LOVE HER. My co-worker teases me about my incredibly small budget for a purse so I can't wait to show her my formerly $100 purse on Monday.

That's about it. My urge to blog is on vacation I think!

The Art of Forgiveness

I originally posted this entry on May 26th, 2008. These days I find myself struggling with forgiveness, so I thought I'd put it out there again, if only to remind myself of what forgiveness truly means.

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"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

Yesterday I had a conversation (a highly emotionally charged conversation!) with a close friend of mine who is struggling with people who have hurt her deeply in the past, as well as those who continue to hurt her to this day. She was struggling with the concept of forgiveness and doubted her ability and willingness to do it. I completely get where she is coming from.

That conversation really got me thinking. Forgiveness is something I struggle with. Sometimes I just don't want to do it. Flat out don't want to do it. Some things just don't deserve forgiveness, right? How can we forgive someone, let them off the hook and have them think what they did was ok? If I forgive someone, doesn't that lessen my pain?

No.

What I have come to learn is that forgiveness, more often than not, has nothing to do with the person who hurt you. It's about you. It's giving yourself permission to let go and begin to heal. It isn't saying that what that person did was ok. It's simply allowing yourself to move forward.

Ian and I had to learn the art of forgiveness under incredibly difficult circumstances but don't think for a second that it came easily. We have survived a season of heartbreak that few people (I pray) will ever know. We are left with broken pieces to pick up, and forgiveness continues to be a work in progress. I prayed for warm, fuzzy feelings of forgiveness to wash over me. But they never came. I prayed for a forgiving heart. It didn't come. Finally I asked God what He wanted me to do and He softly spoke to my heart and told me to make the choice to forgive, and to trust in Him to bring the healing. So I did it. Even though every fibre of my being was screaming at me not to do it, His voice in my heart was loudest.

Last night I was doing my nightly devotions and it was about forgiveness. The author said that “forgiveness is giving up the right to punish”. That really hit me. It SO isn’t about letting the other person off the hook for what they did, nor is it telling them that you are ok with what they did. It’s giving yourself permission to move forward. There is such relief in putting down the anger and forgiving. Its so exhausting being angry, resentful and bitter.

I have many broken areas of my life that need grace and forgiveness. I have been hurt very deeply, many times. But to be completely truthful, I have hurt others as well. Sometimes more than once by doing the same things.

Another thing I have learned is that people will reap what they sow. We may not be around to see their reaping, but I know it happens. It isn't up to us to exact punishment for what someone else has done to us.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21.

I know my day will come when I am face to face with my Redeemer and I will have to account for what I have done - both good and bad. Knowing that he took the weight of my sin onto Himself and forgave me, it is impossible for me not to extend that same grace to those who have sinned against me.

My friend is beaten down by years of being hurt. She is done with it. She has tried to fight back with kindness and love but the hurt just keeps on comin'. "Why do I even bother?" she shouted at me yesterday as she cried as though her heart would break. I told her that she "bothers" because God created her to, and He put a beautiful and loving heart inside her to help her. God created her that way. Isn't that just so beautiful?

People are going to be mean. Love them anyway. People are going to hurt you. Make the choice to forgive them and trust in our Heavenly Father to heal and restore us. He will not leave us or fail us. We can count on that.

Goodbye Shannon...

This week I learned that a woman I worked with for many years - and enjoyed a close friendship with for a time - suffered a brain aneurysm on Sunday and was on life support. Shannon was taken off of life support yesterday after tests failed to show any brain activity.

I am so, so sad.

She had a smile that lit up the room, and she had one for everyone. She had a very quick wit and a warm heart.

She had a young daughter and the thought of that little girl growing up without her mother just breaks my heart.

It amazes me that a person is here one minute and can be gone the next. It really puts life into perspective, doesn't it? Death is so final. It is really making me look at my own life, at what truly matters and what doesn't. I don't want to waste my time here.

We really need to live more intentionally, don't we? To make our short time here matter.

I wonder what kind of legacy I will leave or what people will say about me when I'm gone.

What must it be like to finally be in the presence of the Lord? To be here one moment, and then to be standing face to face with Him the next? To walk with Him, talk and laugh with Him.... to even hug Him! How totally awesome that will be.

Tomorrow night I will go to say goodbye to Shannon at her viewing. As deeply sad as I am that she is no longer here on earth, I am even more excited that she is with the Lord. How could I possibly wish her back here?

I will see her again.

Goodbye for now, Shannon... until we meet again.