Boy Or Girl?

When I was pregnant with Sam, I was often asked if I was hoping to have a boy or a girl.

I always answered that it didn't matter, all I wanted was a healthy baby.

When I was pregnant with Julie, I was regularly asked if I was hoping for a girl this time.

I always answered that it didn't matter, all I wanted was a healthy baby.

Years later, when I was pregnant with Jordan, I was asked about my gender preference over and over.

My answer was always the same: It didn't matter, I just wanted a healthy baby.

At church on Christmas Eve I was asked whether I was hoping for a boy or a girl.

I said I had no preference.

Then she said, "As long as it's healthy, right?"

I just smiled.

Healthy or not, perfect or not, we want this child. We will love whomever this little person turns out to be.

I pray daily that God will take my worries about this little one away from my heart, and to be able to enjoy this pregnancy and look forward to that beautiful day in June when I will see his or her precious face for the first time.

I'll be 40 when this baby is born. I know what the statistics are for certain disabilities in a baby born to a mother in my age group.

I'm no longer afraid. We weren't expecting this little one but God had a plan to bless us with this new life. Whatever is to come, He will prepare us.

For now.. I'm choosing to just feel thankful.

Christmas 2010

Another beautiful Christmas has come to an end.

Friday night we went to the children's service at our church and they told the Story of the Three Trees. I've heard the story before but it really touched me this time around. We all have goals and dreams for our lives but when they don't turn out like we expected we become so disappointed. But God will use our lives for His glory if only we let Him, and in ways bigger than we could ever imagine for ourselves.

Afterwards we went to my mother's for a fabulous ham dinner. I absolutely love being with my family. After dinner my mom gave the children a gift to open - new pjs! Ian started a fire in the fireplace and Sam and Julie took turns reading the Night Before Christmas.

When we came home, we made a big fuss about putting out milk and cookies for Santa. Sam and Jules know the truth about Santa and are loving being a whole part of it for her. Jordan carefully chose which cookies she was going to leave out, then she sat on my lap while we tracked Santa on the Norad site. When it was time for her to go to bed she blew kisses to Santa and told him to be safe.

Ian and I didn't exchange any gifts before bed this year. I was exhausted so I went up to bed early (as usual!) The children wanted to get up at 6am the next morning but I was able to talk them into 6:45am.

Ian had other plans. He blocked one of the clocks in our bedroom so I couldn't see the time and started bugging me to get up just before 6:30. I wouldn't, so he tortured me by singing Feliz Navidad over and over and over. I had to get up just to make it stop!

The children were spoiled again this year and it took them almost an hour and half to open all of their gifts. Our living room was a MESS! I was given such thoughtful gifts from Ian and the children. A couple of them made me cry!

We went to my mom's for 9am and opened gifts there then had my favourite breakfast ever, visited for a bit and then came home just after lunchtime for Jordan's nap. Ahem...and my nap.

We returned to my mom's for 4pm for hors d'oeuvres (is that how you spell that?) and dinner at 6pm - turkey, my favourite! I heard my mom call from the dining room, "we don't have enough room on the table for all of this food!" What a beautiful blessing to be able to say that. We stayed until almost 8:30 and came home to get Jordan to bed.

Today is Boxing Day. I don't know what the significance of Boxing Day is but there's some crazy shopping sales on that day. We went to Ian's parent's house for lunch and the children played outside in the subzero weather for almost an hour, tobogganing and snowboarding and playing with the dog next door. We left in the early afternoon and did some Boxing Day shopping on our way home.

And here I sit.... longing for bedtime. My own, that is, not the children's. ;-) It's been such a busy weekend, but I've loved every minute of it.

Today marks the beginning of my second trimester. One third of the way to Baby Day!

I hope you all had a beautiful Christmas with the ones you love.

Be blessed!

Merry Christmas!

May you be surrounded by the ones you love on this most blessed day!

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas Eve!!

I am SO excited that today is Christmas Eve!!

My office closes at 2pm today and I can't wait!

Tonight we'll go to our church for the children's service and then to my mother's house for dinner with my whole family.

My aunt arrived on the 16th to celebrate with us and we're just so excited that she's here. My sister will be there too.

After dinner the children take turns reading Twas The Night Before Christmas and my mom gives them one gift to open. We head home, leave cookies and milk for Santa and I get all excited tracking Santa on the Norad site.

Once the children are in bed, Ian and I will sit in the dark looking at the lit Christmas tree. Then I usually cry because I love Christmas Eve so much. We exchange one gift as we have for the last 17 years then hit the sack.

Apparently we're getting up at 6am tomorrow morning to open our gifts. Sweet mercy! I think we'll head over to my Mom's for 9am, open gifts there then have the best breakfast ever. Can't wait!

Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?

Christmas Week Already??

How is it that Christmas is this week??

I now officially have pre-Christmas anxiety because I'm not finished my shopping. I hate that I leave it to Christmas week every single year. Ian has been amazing as always and has bought all of the children's gifts. I picked out a couple of things for them last week but I still have a few other people to buy for.

What do you buy the man who has everything?? I always struggle with what to give Ian. I make him give me a list of the things he wants and where to buy them. I give him bonus points if he picks them up himself ;-)

You know the Gift Giving Gene that women have? I don't have it. I don't have the gift of looking at something and having a "Oh my gosh! So and So would LOVE this!!" moments. I need people to tell me what they want.

Are you a gift card person? I am. I love me a gift card. Some people think they're so impersonal but I think think they're great.

My dog smells so bad right now, but I don't have the strength to give him a bath. How can a dog that doesn't do anything other than sleep smell so bad? And he's on my couch so you know my couch is going to smell too. Oh but I love him.

Tomorrow I see my doctor for my monthly prenatal appointment and I can only imagine the weight I've gained in this first trimester. Did I tell you that I'm on medication for my blood pressure? I get pre-eclampsia in all of my pregnancies but only in the final days and I get induced. When I saw my doctor at my last appointment he was uncomfortable with how high my blood pressure was so he gave me a safe prescription. It's really helped with the tightness in my chest and shortness of breath.

Yesterday I started wondering if I've been drinking enough milk and in a panic had three glasses in a row. I'm not a big milk drinker so remembering to drink it every day is hard.

What else can I tell you? Hmm...

Jordan is saying new words every day and makes me laugh so much. Yesterday she wanted me to do something and I said no and she said "Peese?" and I said no again, and she said "oh come on!". She is a riot.

Julie and I have a mother/daughter shopping date on Tuesday night and we're both really looking forward to it. She's crocheting a scarf for Jordan. How sweet is that?

Sam went to the Christmas Banquet for the youth group last night and had a great time. I love that he's so comfortable there. He looked so hip in his outfit.

My temp assignment continues. I think I might be there until the end of February and possibly into March. There have been some bumps but I'm managing. Every morning, before I do anything else, I ask God to give me what I need for that day, and He does. I'm exhausted when I come home at night. It's a dark place to be and people aren't what they seem. I just do my thing and leave when it's time to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for the work.

That's about all the news I have to tell you at this point! Talk to you soon!

Update On Last Week's News

I have to begin this post with a big fat THANK YOU for all of your lovely comments on my last post announcing my pregnancy. I appreciate you so much.

I am now 12 weeks along and it still feels so surreal. But I'm excited.

I'm feeling pretty good :-) I don't feel nauseated as much anymore, although it does tend to hit me when I sneeze for some reason. I'm still very, very tired though, and some nights I'm in bed before my two year old! Ian has been wonderful to me, and has been very patient with my sleep/nap schedule and is holding down the fort in terms of meals and child care.

I'm not craving any one particular food. More like everything! We had KFC on Friday night and my kids thought they'd died and gone to Heaven. I haven't eaten KFC in YEARS because of a statement I once read put out by PETA. But Friday night I didn't want to think about my years long ban. I just wanted the Colonel's special recipe in mah belly. STAT! I'm also enjoying cucumbers with ranch dip. Oh, and pickle juice. Not so much the pickle part...mostly the juice.

I'd forgotten what early pregnancy was like. The multiple trips to the bathroom, the ravenous hunger that would hit me all of a sudden.... Many nights I have sat up in bed at 3am absolutely starving. And let's not forget the hormones! Laughing one minute, ready to rip someone's head off the next... then dissolving in a puddle of tears. I cry at everything . I just can't help it.

It took me a very long time to accept that we were having another child. It wasn't even on our radar when I started going to the specialist this Fall. The doctor sent me for a whole slew of bloodwork and at the very end tacked on a pregnancy test. I told him it wasn't necessary because my family doctor said I didn't ovulate anymore and couldn't get pregnant. I just about fainted when the nurse called with my results. But that's a story for another day.

I struggled with blogging about this because I know of so many people struggling to have their first child, and here I am having my fourth. I don't understand why life works that way, but my heart goes out to these women. I have never experienced their type of pain, but my heart hurts for them all the same.

That's a wrap for now.

Psst... I Wanna Tell You Something...

I love secrets.

If you tell me something I'll go into lockdown and keep your secret forever.

But one of my own secrets?

Well... I'm not so good at that.

Which is why it killed me to not blog about what's been going on with us.

There will be a new little one joining our family on or about June 25th.

Aside from being exhausted all of the time I'm feeling alright, and I seem to have made it past most of the morning sickness.

We've seen our little one on the ultrasound twice now, and he/she has a beautiful heartbeat.

So there you know. Now you know what's been going on with us and I can breathe a sigh of relief because I'm not keeping any more secrets.

:-)

5QF ~ December 3

I survived my first week at my new temp assignment. I'm doing collections for a cleaning company, and let me tell you... it's weird to be collecting on past due invoices while listening to Christmas music! Specifically Christmas Shoes...

I've been exhausted every night and therefore haven't spent much time with Ian or the children. This weekend they're away visiting my inlaws. I miss them.

The job is ok. A little boring but I'm grateful for the work. I'm not sure how long I'll be there though. The agency said a month, but the woman I report to said two months, then when she introduced me to the manager she said three months. Beats me.

I miss being at home. But Ian's here with Jordan, so that's good.

One of the things that's been going on here that I haven't felt ready to talk about is that Ian was laid off a few weeks ago. I haven't wanted to say anything because it's just such an awful situation. He is networking and has some really good contacts, and applies to several positions every day.

Anyway. Jordan loves having her dad around to play with all day, every day.

Tomorrow I'm going over to my mom's to visit and I can't wait :-)

I'm thankful for Mama M's Five Question Friday blog hop because otherwise it might be another week before I blog anything!



1. What's on the top of your holiday wish list and why?!

I can honestly say that I have everything I've ever wanted and more, and it's a beautiful place to be.

I am just looking forward to spending Christmas with my family and basking in the love we have for one another.

2. What is your favorite Christmas gift from the past?

My favourite childhood gift was the year of the Cabbage Patch Kids craze. I desperately wanted a Cabbage Patch doll and my mom got one for me. Her name is Lillian Paula and I thought I'd die from the excitement.

My favourite adult gift is the throw blanket Ian gave me two Christmases ago. It has the picture of our family woven on it and it just took my breath away when I saw it.

3. If you had life to do over, what would you be when you grow up?

Content.

I have entered into each new phase of my life with such fear that I believe it's changed who God intended me to be. I wish I had rushed at each phase with excitement and been content in all circumstances.

I'm not giving up... I will be content some day!

4. When do you put up your tree?

I wanted to put it up on November 1st but Scrooge Ian said no. So he's going to put it up on Sunday, and then we'll go to my inlaws to pick up the children, have dinner, then come home early enough for them to decorate it. I'm really looking forward to it. I don't know how they're going to top last year's tree - it was perfect.

5. What is your favorite Holiday?

Easter. I love what it means to Christians and the hope it gives each one of us.

Alright friends...that's a wrap.

Head on over to Mama M's blog My Little Life to join in on the fun.

Have a great weekend :-)