And What The Heck Would I Call This Post?

I think that if I were to pull out my hair strand by strand, it might be less painful than dealing with "the boy crazies".

Julie has yet another crush. She liked *N* back in JK and recently he professed his interest in her and hers was rekindled. Apparently all their friends think they are a great couple.

[insert deep and exhausted sigh here]

Ian gave her the youre-much-too-young-for-boys talk again tonight. I'm sure she thinks we're the meanest parents on the planet.

Works for me if it keeps the boys away.

She asked me a question that caught me off guard yesterday. "Mom, is it true that when a girl says no she really means yes?"

What the....??

I asked her who told her something like that. "*P* told me. He said that when a girl says no she really means yes."

Sweet mercy. Are you kidding me?

"No sweetheart. No means no. All the time."

And if that wasn't enough, she also told me that a different boy told her she was sexy.

Lord, help me.

************

Speaking of my sweet Julie, we bought her a new hamster to love. His name is Diamond Dan.

Remember this post? Diamond Dan tried to pull a prison break like Sam's previous hamster Sunny did before him. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning on Sunday to scratching noises. I woke Ian up telling him something was under the bed so he got up to look and sure enough it was Diamond Dan.

UNDER.MY.SIDE.OF.THE.BED!

Of all places.

Diamond Dan is lucky Max the cat didn't eat him as an appetizer.

**********

I am very excited about the new shampoo and conditioner Ian brought home for me the other day. SunSilk. My hair looks and feels great and I look H-O-T.

That sounded like a commercial. Except for the hot part.

**********

I had to buy toilet paper the other day and the price of it kills me. That has to be on my top 10 most annoying things of all time. Why does it cost so much, considering what it's used for??

That's all I have to say about that.

Well, that and I'm watching you Toilet Paper Companies...I'm watching you...

**********

Ian and I watched Extreme Home Makeover last night featuring the Huber Family. I cry every time I see this show because it's just so awesome how they help a family out. Last night's tears were for the chicken coop they made for the chickens. I didn't cry about the house this time, just the chicken coop.

PMS...oh how I love you...

**********

Ian buried the two deceased hamsters and the bird in the ravine yesterday and made little crosses to mark their places. We all headed out to have a little funeral for them.

I totally got the seriousness of the situation, but something just struck me as funny when Ian closed his prayer with "...and we commit these little pets to you Lord..." that just made me giggle inside.

Ian said that the three little crosses, side by side, looked like Animal Calvary.

I loved that he fashioned little crosses. He is such a good father.

**********

In closing, I would just like to jot out a complaint that it is only the end of September and Walmart not only has Hallowe'en stuff out but Christmas decorations as well.

Oh Walmart...if I didn't love you so much I'd hate you...

What A Day

Poor Julie... her beloved hamster Gabriella died tonight. Julie is heartbroken and I am so sad for her. We knew she wasn't well and that this time was coming fast. Jules went up to feed her and play with her before bed and found her. We'll bury Gabriella this weekend, along with Sam's deceased hamster and our bird that passed in July. Currently they are in our downstairs freezer.

Yes. We have dead pets in our freezer.

Yes. I am aware that is kind of creepy.

In other happier news, Sam made the Cross Country Team today! We are so proud of him and he is so excited. He doesn't get this athleticism from me, let me tell you. That, and his intelligence, he gets from his dad.

His incredibly good looks come from me.

Of course. ;-)

Tomorrow is the Terry Fox Walk-a-Thon at the children's school.

Julie doesn't want to participate in it because it will make her legs tired.

Oh Terry... I hope you didn't hear her say that...

That's all I feel like talking about tonight. The girls at Girls Club wiped me out and I am off to read more of my phenomenal book called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It's such a beautiful story.

Over and out.

Ahhh Monday....

...my day to put the house back together...

The children are back to school after a three day weekend. Yes, after attending school for less than two weeks, they had a PA day on Friday. That kills me.

Ian is back at work. Ok, I shouldn't say it like that, because he had to go into the office for several hours on Saturday and then had a show to do in the evening. Poor guy. He also had to go in unexpectedly on Sunday afternoon too.

No weekend for Ian. My man is tired.

Speaking of my man, yesterday was our Engage-A-Versary. We've been together for 16 years and were engaged 15 years ago. That's a lifetime by today's relationship standards.

We made it to church yesterday. ON TIME even. Jordan was so upset at having to go to the nursery so I took her in for the worship time, and she had a ball "singing" along with everyone else. Then, all of a sudden she was done! Off to the nursery she went.

Buh bye.

The worship and service was wonderful. I've missed several weeks of church due to one reason or another, and it did my heart such good to be back again.

Until "the announcement".

Our wonderful-amazing-godly-hilarious-fillinwhateverimissed Associate Pastor has resigned effective Dec 31st as he will be returning to school full time.

Sniff. Sniff.

Even though I've known since Wednesday and have had several days to get my head around it, I still cried as his resignation was read. (To make matters worse he was sitting right behind me with his wife so my intense lameness was surely noted.) Such a loss for our church. Still, I am excited to see what God has in store for him and his family.

I reconnected with some friends at church which was so needed. I've been out of touch for so long. I want to develop quality friendships and quit wasting time on those who hurt me.

I'm thinking of joining a new Bible study that starts this Wednesday called Experiencing God. I tried it when I first became a Christian but I just wasn't ready for it. I think now is the time.

We went to the mall yesterday and do you know what I saw?

DO YOU KNOW?

Public Pyjama Wearers.

Everywhere.

Seriously. I was like no one bothered to get dressed to go to the mall. They just rolled out of bed and grabbed their car keys.

Staying in your pyjamas all day long is not a concept that I understand. I get dressed before coming downstairs every morning. So, showing up at the mall in my pjs will.never.happen.to.me.

My Facebook chat thingamajiggy is broken so I can't chat with anyone on there. Do you know how hard that is for me? HARD. I always have something to say! That's all the complaining I will do because it takes a certain kind of lame to complain about something that is f-r-e-e. (Dear Facebook....please fix my chat feature...love, Kate)

I interrupt this riveting entry to tell you that my cat is making these really creepy yowling noises while looking at the wall. I wish he'd stop. He's freaking me out.

Where was I?

Poor Jordan... she face planted on the pavement yesterday and one of her teeth was bleeding and her lip got a little fat. And the kicker? I was right in front of her, watching her. And she still fell.

Awesome.

I went to my mom's house - kid less!- under the pretense of picking up my bottle of stain remover. As if I need a reason to go over, but I am over there so much I felt like I might be stalking her a little bit, so I used the stain remover excuse. My sister was there and it was a really good visit. She even came grocery shopping with me and we rocked out in the car to "I Gotta Feelin'" by my friends The Black Eyed Peas. I am sure we looked extremely lame very cool.

This morning when I was dressing Jordan she looked up at me, smiled, and said "Mama!"

What a beautiful way to start the day.

Ok peeps. I can't just sit around talking to you guys all day. The dryer just buzzed so it's time to switch up the laundry and get this house back in shape!

Have a great day :-)

My Date With Sam

Tonight Sam and I had a Movie Date. Just the two of us.

While I was putting Jordan's laundry away, he pulled out the sofa bed and took great pains to lay out blankets and make it super comfy for us. He also brought down my pillow and nightgown.

Our feature was High School Musical 2.

Y'all know how I love me a HSM movie.

We ate popcorn and cuddled and sang along and made fun of the cheesy parts.

I loved how much detail he put into setting everything up. For me.

I love that boy.

Picture Time

***Photos removed***

Sweet Day

I just knew today was going to be a great day when I zipped up my jeans with zero resistance.

That's right. No jumping up and down to make the zipper slide up. Not today.

:-)

Moving on...

This morning was Coffee Hour and let me tell you, I was so happy to be in the company of these strong Christian women again. I feel so incredibly disconnected from everyone and it did my heart a lot of good just to be sitting with them. It's going to be another great year.

After I picked up the children from school, we headed to our favourite park and played for an hour and a half. We were exhausted! I took a lot of pictures and I'm hoping to upload them soon. I am way behind on my picture sharing.

Update: Snippet Style

I am feeling too lazy to blog properly tonight so I'm going to share my thoughts in quick snippet style.

*******

Julie was experiencing pain in her right ear all night on Saturday night so I took her to a walk-in clinic on Sunday afternoon. From there we were sent to the Urgent Care clinic at the hospital. I was really impressed with how quickly she was seen and diagnosed. Turns out she has a really bad ear infection and a "bulging ear drum".

Gross.

*******

I was so sad to read of Patrick Swayze's passing. By all accounts he was a gentleman and I enjoyed his acting so much. What a loss.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner...

*******

I am seven kinds of excited about my local Walmart.

Oh, I know what you are thinking. "Kate hates that Walmart with the fire of a thousand suns".

And you would be right.

BUT!

They have given it a huge renovation, moved departments around and have added grocery/meat/bakery sections. It feels positively American, and I think I've made my love for American Walmarts VERY CLEAR.

*******

I can't believe that Kanye West barged onstage at the awards and snatched the microphone from Taylor Swift just as she was about to give her acceptance speech, all to say Beyonce should have won.

What an idiot.

I never liked that guy and I don't like what I read about him in the news. Classless. Self-absorbed. Outspoken. Moronic.

At least he called her to apologize.

Shameful.

And how many ways can I say "I Love You Beyonce" for giving up her moment so Taylor could have hers?

Beyonce, call me!

*******

I tuned in to The View yesterday and today because I figured I should take advantage of Annoying Elizabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave and who do I see?

Kate Gosselin!!

For the love of pete!! What is WITH this show? Do they have to have an annoying co-host on every single day? (read: Star Jones, Rosie O'Donnell, Elizabeth Hasselbeck...and yeah, I'm going to say it...Whoopi)

I am so tired of listening to this Multiple Mama repeating the same things over and over again, trying to portray herself in a positive light. She is a nasty woman and we all know it.

Psst ... Jon you are behaving like a jerk. Just sayin'.

*******

I am very excited to report that Coffee Hour at my church resumes tomorrow morning. I have missed that group so much. It will be good to reconnect with the ladies there.

I hope I can sleep tonight.

*******

Girls Club starts up again on Thursday and I am really looking forward to that. I mailed out the registration packages last week to twenty-six girls.

Twenty six!

We'll kick off with an Ice Cream Social and spend some time reconnecting.

So excited.

*******

Jessica Simpson's adorable little dog was snatched away by a coyote right in front of her! That image makes me feel so sad because you just know she won't get that dog back.

Are you wondering what she was doing that close to a coyote as much as I am?

*******

I must have watched the Oprah Flashmob video a gajillion times and you know what? I get teary every single time. Why, you ask? Because it is so cool that 20,000+ people would work together, side by side, to pull off something that epic. Oprah's delight and excitement produced a few of my tears too.

Again I have to say... this stunt was epic.

*******

And speaking of this epic stunt inspired by my friends The Black Eyed Peas (ok, not personal friends, but this is my blog and I am allowed to spin things as I wish), I have to share something that continues to amaze me.

You know that the lead singer of The Black Eyed Peas is Will.I.Am, right?

Did you know that his name is really William?

Well I didn't and Ian had to point it out to me.

Talk about feeling dippy.

I wish I had a super cool name I could twist up too.

*******

My mailbox lock has been broken for the longest time. Canada Post told Ian that the management office was responsible for repairing it. The management office said that Canada Post was responsible. Then they both told him that WE were responsible for repairing it. After holding our mail for pickup for a couple of weeks they decided to just "return to sender" everything without telling us.

Ugh.

Anyway, all that to tell you that Ian repaired the lock on the mailbox last night and I now have my very own key AND there was mail in there today.

Let's just say Kate was excited.

*******

I am hoping to go apple picking with Ian, the children and my mom this weekend. We've been going to the same orchard for 35+ years. I am always filled with plans to make apple pies for everyone I love but after making one or two of them the plans fizzle, and we're left with rotting apples.

Not this year, my friends. This year I am going to make apple pie filling and freeze it.

Yep, that's how I'm going to roll.

*******

That is all.

Over and out.

I Am A Flashmob ADDICT!

And this one was the best.one.ever.

EVER.



Yet another reason to love the Black Eyed Peas.

And I thought punching out Perez couldn't ever be topped.

My bad!

Too Tired To Think Of A Catchy Title

In the toddler world, if twos are "terrible", the threes are "terrific and the fours are "fabulous"...what are the ones?

Ornery, is my guess.

I don't know what has gotten into my adorable 17 month old, but she's been a handful these last few days. It's like she has PMS. She had a huge tantrum at my mom's on Friday that lasted almost an hour. But then the rest of the day she was her usual delightful self. Then yesterday morning she freaked out like no one's business just because I put her in her playpen so I could finish doing something without her underfoot.

When I say freaking out, feel free to envision a little person kicking her feet and writhing around all while peppered with ear shattering levels of wailing.

I was so surprised that I just stood there, watching. If I knew where our video camera was - or how to use it for that matter - I would have taped the whole thing. No one who knows this little girl would believe it.

She will be all happy and smiley until someone looks at her - or heaven forbid touches her - well that's all it takes for the waterworks to start. It's getting a little embarrassing. It's like she has PMS. I don't remember Sam or Julie being this touchy.

I am too old for this.

Oh, but how I love her. This stage will pass.

Ian is on retreat with the Jr/Sr Highs from our church, so it's been just the children and me. Friday night we camped out in the living room and ate pizza and ice cream while watching Over The Hedge and Wipeout.

Saturday morning we headed up to the retreat for the afternoon. The children were so excited to see their dad. Ian had printed mapquest directions for me so we were all set. I was originally going to follow my friend up there but we were leaving at different times. We ended up leaving a little later than planned and after a quick stop to pick up some McD's for lunch, we were off. About a 1/3 of the way into our trip, my friend pulled up beside me and waved. Whew! Now I knew for sure I wasn't going to get lost! We followed her right to the camp, easy peasy.

After a quick tour of the building and dorms, the children took off to play on the trampoline and climbing wall. Eventually they put on their bathing suits and played in the lake. Julie went canoeing with one of the youth leaders and Sam swung back and forth over the water on a rope swing. The water was freezing but somehow kids don't seem to notice that part!

I tried my hand at archery and really liked it. It's a lot easier than I thought and I can't believe it's an Olympic event.

What would a great day outdoors be without an injury??

Julie and Sam were playing on the trampoline and somehow Sam accidentally jumped on Julie's head, and ended up ripping out her earring.

Sigh.

We had planned to stay for dinner, something that has stressed me out for months. The man who runs the camp used to be homeless and cannot stand food that is wasted. Therefore he has a simple rule: take as much as you'd like, but eat what you take.

Simple right?

You'd think so, but my children can be very picky eaters so I wasn't sure how this was going to go. I reminded them and reminded them, eat what is on your plate because I don't want this guy getting cross with us. Dinner was chicken, rice and mixed vegetables.

I knew they'd eat the chicken, Julie loves rice, and well...my kids eat vegetables.

Sam managed to avoid the rice, but was called back by one of the youth leaders to have veggies.

My gang will eat green beans, carrots, corn and under duress, peas. That's about it. I'm not one of those moms that make them eat cauliflower or broccoli.

Guess what was the main component of the mixed vegetables? Cauliflower and broccoli!!

It started with Ian giving me all his veggies except his carrots. Then, Julie gave me hers but kept the broccoli and carrots, Sam gave me all of his except his carrots.

I was full of veggies let me tell you. I think some other kid further down the table might have slipped me his veggies too.

After dinner we walked around for a bit then watched a volleyball game - leaders vs the kids. We headed off at 7.

We camped out again in the living room but there wasn't a lot of sleeping going on. Jordan woke up crying and screaming, but it was really strange because it was almost as though she wasn't truly awake. I think she might be experiencing night terrors because this was her second night in a row doing this. Julie was up crying because her ear was hurting and she couldn't sleep.

I am exhausted this morning. I think I'm going to have to take Julie to a walk-in clinic to have her ear looked at. She's walking a little off balance and seems to be feeling unwell over all.

We missed church. Again. :-(

Ian should be home in an hour or two, then the house will feel like home again :-)

9/11/01

We remember.

Oh Sweet Mercy...Mama's Worn Out!

Miss Jordan ran me ragged today.

I repeat ... ragged.

After taking the children to school and then Ian to his office, we headed over to my mom's house for the day. Jordan was so happy to see her Gram and raised her arms up so that she could give her a hug. So cute.

She'd play with her blocks and occasionally come over to me to give me a hug, then gave her Gram a hug, then back to her blocks again.

Then ... it started.

You know. It.

The drama.

The destruction.

She would be happy one moment, then flat out on the floor, hands covering her eyes, bawling out her frustration. I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away and gave me the evil eye.

Apparently I was the source of her unhappiness.

Five minutes later she was climbing on my lap to cuddle and eventually fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later she was up and about again. With one swipe of her arm she knocked over a bunch of photo frames.

She smacked her toys down on my mother's glass-topped coffee table so many times that I thought for sure she'd break it.

But my favourite moment was when she was playing peekaboo behind the rocking chair, then lost her balance and pulled an end table over, sending the lamp into the wall.

And.it.broke.

!!!

Oh glory. I tried for 30 minutes to repair it but I couldn't. I am hoping Ian can, otherwise I will replace it. So embarrassing.

Neither Sam or Julie ever broke anything. Jordan, on the other hand, is channelling She-ra or something. That girl can be rough. She is much more active than either of the other two ever were. Put together, even.

But she is also sweet and cuddly and squishy and adorable!

Seriously...what a day.

I am beyond ready for bed!

First Day Of School/90210/Freaky Toys

Have you seen that Staples commercial recently? You know which one I'm talking about...the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year one.

I'm not gonna lie, friends. I was singing that song this weekend.

Now you know I love my children and I love them so much that the thoughts of being away from them destroyed Ian's chance of taking me to Jamaica for a second honeymoon.

However...

This last week of summer vacation was l-o-n-g.

Ian and I always walk the children to school on the first day. This year, Sam told me that he was going to be ignoring me in the school yard. "No offense, Mom."

Oh, none taken Mister-I'm-too-cool-to-be-seen-with-the-best-mother-ever-5th-grader.

He ran ahead and disappeared around the corner to hang with his friends. Julie stuck close by and wanted us to walk her to her door.

Every year it's the same scenario. As soon as the children are at their respective doors Ian is ready to go. I always want to hang around until the bell goes, tears in my eyes, heart full of sadness because my children are growing up.

Hmm... A touch melodramatic, yes?

I can only imagine the drama that will ensue when Miss Jordan goes to school.

Shudder.

I spent the day at my mother's house and I don't think we stopped talking except for the occasional bathroom break. We sure can talk.

Dinner was a lively affair. The children talked excitedly about their days, new teachers and what their friends were doing. I was trying to hear about Ian's big presentation while Jordan was being a clown. I love dinners like that - lively.

Ian sent me upstairs to watch the season premiere of 90210 and Melrose Place.

Oh I love that man.

I was a die-hard 90210 fan back in the day and was so sad when it ended. So imagine my complete and utter delight when they decided to "bring it back". I.am.hooked. So hooked in fact that I have a few ideas of my own and think I just might send off a letter to the writers of the show.

Or not.

I had to laugh at the new "hot guy" they have on the show now. He looks like he's in his 30's but he's playing a high school kid. Ha. Not going to fly.

I was eagerly anticipating Melrose Place. What a colossal disappointment. The ONLY character I was interested in seeing was KILLED in the first 10 minutes of the show. BOO! I actually stopped watching it halfway through.

Bad, bad, bad.

I'm going to write a letter to them too. A strongly worded one, maybe.

Jordan has this toy that is freaking me out. It's a bunny head/blanket thing and when you press its face a child's voice says "now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, may angels watch me through the night, and wake me with the morning light".

Cute, right?

NO!

It keeps going off randomly and there is no one around to push it's face.

I was downstairs alone last night around 11:30 pm when all the power went out. The house was pitch black.

I am afraid of the dark, people. And I don't care who knows it.

I was convinced "The Killer" had arrived and shut off the lights/power in my house so he could kill me in the dark.

I stood in the kitchen trying to hear the killer. What did I hear instead?

"Now I lay me down to sleep...."

Ugh.

I did what anyone would do in my situation.... I called Ian to come downstairs to get me.

Ha.

The power came on just as Ian lit some candles, so I guess the killer decided to go somewhere else. I told Ian about the toy and he went to find it in Jordan's toy box. He kept pushing the face to make it talk but it wouldn't.

Are you getting creeped out too? Why is it that it only talks when no one presses it??

I think the fact that I washed it in the washing machine might have done something to it.

In the time it's taken me to write this post, it has gone off five times.

Just so you know, it's just as creepy during the day as it was last night in the dark.

Are You A Carrot, An Egg, Or A Coffee Bean?

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots . She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door,how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst,you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The Honeymoon

I absolutely love Sheila Gregoire and her blog To Love, Honor and Vacuum so when I saw she was talking honeymoons today, well I was all over that.

Ian and I honeymooned in the Dominican Republic after a year and a half of planning our perfect wedding. I had never been there before but he had, and loved it and assured me that I would as well. I would have gone to Timbuktu as long as I was with him.

Our week there was a comedy of "errors". First of all, our room had two double beds rather than the queen we had requested. We pushed them together, but it wasn't the same. I managed to fall between them and was trapped.

Our toilet broke on our first day and Ian had to fix it himself.

We had no hot water and had to run the taps for a long time before the water became lukewarm. No leisurely showers a deux for us.

Sorry for that visual, folks.

The weather was incredibly hot so we'd turn on the air conditioning before heading out for a bit, only to find out that housekeeping would come in and turn it off.

The water was unsafe to drink, so every morning there would be a pitcher of "clean" water outside of our door. Being that I trusted no one and was so afraid I was going to get Montezuma's Revenge, I wouldn't touch the pitcher of water at all and brushed my teeth with bottled water only.

Ian let me fall asleep in the sun and didn't come back for me in five minutes like be promised. It was 45 minutes later and I was a lobster by then.

It didn't matter so much that we had double beds that night, let me tell you.

I was so unbelievably sore that if I could have tolerated a four hour flight home I would have left that day.

No one spoke English. Ian picked up Spanish very quickly but I was incredibly stubborn a little slower to learn. After a few failed attempts at making myself understood, I just sat back and let Ian do the talking. No one spoke to me at all. Once they discovered Ian was a magician it was All About Ian. Many of them had never seen magic before so they would be mesmerized and called him Mago or Maho.

What's that? What did they call me? Nothing! I was invisible.

Whenever they saw him coming they would pull out chairs for him or get him coffee.

What did they do for me? Nothing. I was invisible, remember? Keep up, please.

On our very last day there all of the staff gathered around our table to get pictures taken with All About Mago Ian and I was pushed so far away from the table that I ended up eating breakfast with another couple from Sweden.

They didn't speak English either.

There was so much I loved about that trip though. First and foremost, that feeling of being newly married, feeling like we had a secret no one else could possibly understand. I loved saying "my husband" even though no one other than him knew what the heck I was saying.

We would dance along the pathways from our villa to dinner each night, and we made up our own dance that we've since taught our kids. Whenever we've hit rough patches in our time together, it's always the memory of dancing along the path that I return to.

The resort had a huge pool that had a gradual entry like the beach and a swim up bar. But the smaller pool that was tucked away was where we spent most of our time. We were the only ones that ever used it.

Well, until the day the two attractive and topless sunbathers came along and that was the end of that.

That's right, Momma didn't raise no fool.

I enjoyed that trip but I wasn't ready for it. I was so young and still hyped up after the wedding and the year and half of planning for it, and I was so homesick.

Ian wanted to take us to Jamaica for our tenth wedding anniversary. I said sure but wanted to bring Sam and Julie. He wanted it to be a romantic time away and it wouldn't be romantic with the children there. I said it wasn't going to be romantic without them there either because I'd be crying every day from missing them.

He bought a big screen tv instead.

I'm thinking Jamaica for our 15th anniversary... maybe renew our vows on the beach.

And yes, our children will be there.

;-)