Lots and Lots of Random Things

This past week has been so busy and my mind feels so cluttered that I often feel hyped up and frantic. It's hard to fall asleep at night and then I wake up exhausted in the morning. So much going on here and I'm looking forward to a four day weekend to relax with my people.

We put up our Christmas tree last weekend and the children did a wonderful job of decorating it. It amazes me how every year they make it more beautiful than the last. Each ornament holds such special meaning and memories. The outside of our house is decorated as well and I love it. Sometimes I go out and stand on the driveway just to look at the front of the house because it looks so pretty.

We've been in this house for five months now and we really love being here. The children will finish out the school year at their current school, then next Fall Sam is off to high school and the girls will transfer to the school in our area. Julie really wants to transfer over the Christmas break but I think it would be best to finish the year.

I just finished a lovely cup of tea and I'm in my new pjs I got for free with my $25 coupon my favourite store sent to me. I'd like to go to bed but my room stinks of nail polish because Julie wanted me to do her nails tonight. Usually that's our Sunday thing, but she needed some mom time tonight and I was happy to oblige. We've all been going at quite a fast pace this past week so I wasn't about to miss the opportunity to slow down with her.

This Saturday night we're going to a Christmas party. I offered to bring cake balls and Ian and Sam are salivating already. Apparently it's been a year since I last made them!! That can't be true... can it??

Have I mentioned my total addiction to the tv show Flashpoint? GAH. I went months without watching television and then I saw one episode and I was hooked. My beloved Netflix and I have a standing date every night and I watch a couple of episodes before bed. I'm a couple of episodes into season 2, and I'm watching the current season as well. I can't get enough. I think I'd make an awesome sniper. Except I wouldn't shoot people dead like they do on this show. I'd just shoot their shoulder or leg or something, because in my mind... I'd be an exceptional marksman. Or I could be a hostage negotiator. I'd love that job for real.

It snowed the other day and it stayed on the ground. People were slowing down and slipping like crazy. It was all melted by this morning, thank goodness. I'd already had enough of it. I don't own boots because I don't like how they're so heavy on my feet. I have a sad suspicion that I'll have to buy a pair this year.

We're ahead of the game with our Christmas shopping for the children. Ian has done most of it, but we were able to do some together last weekend. As usual, I am at a complete loss as to what to give Ian. I need him to be specific and just tell me exactly what to get. I could just give him money... ew, that's so tacky right?

I have five vacation days I have to use up before the end of December, so I've planned it so I have a couple of four day weekends. I'm going to have to give some serious thought to this job in the new year. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle the stress of it. My anxiety attacks are back in full force and while I have a lot of coping strategies and tricks to get through them, often times I can't and I have to take something to help me out. I hate that, but I know it isn't going to be like this forever.

I'm getting my hair done on Saturday morning. Thank goodness! I look like a hot mess. My appointment is at 8:30 in the morning and it means I'll have to leave the house before 8am but that's fine by me. Early in, early out.

I wonder if there is a 12 step program for Essie addicts. Seriously... I have about 9 bottles at this point, and a list in my head of the ones I can't seem to find anywhere. I need to stop this insanity. It's nail polish!

Alright, enough rambling. I need to get to bed.

Book Review: Grace ~ More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine

 



Grace.

We talk as though we understand the term. The bank gives us a grace period. The seedy politician falls from grace. Musicians speak of a grace note. We describe an actress as gracious, a dancer as graceful. We use the word for hospitals, baby girls, kings, and premeal prayers. We talk as though we know what grace means.

But do we really understand it? Have we settled for wimpy grace? It politely occupies a phrase in a hymn, fits nicely on a church sign. Never causes trouble or demands a response. When asked, “Do you believe in grace?” who could say no?

Max Lucado asks a deeper question: Have you been changed by grace? Shaped by grace? Strengthened by grace? Emboldened by grace? Softened by grace? Snatched by the nape of your neck and shaken to your senses by grace?

God’s grace has a drenching about it. A wildness about it. A white-water, riptide, turn-you-upside-downness about it.

Grace comes after you. It rewires you. From insecure to God secure. From regret riddled to better-because-of-it. From afraid to die to ready to fly.

Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off.

Let’s make certain grace gets you.

 

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

All of my life I have struggled to understand the concept of God's grace. People would speak of it, and I would nod and smile as if I understood the depths of it. But I didn't. Not really.

I was really looking forward to reading this because I've read several of Max Lucado's books, and he has such an easy, genuine style of writing. That sitting across the table over a cup of tea style that I love so much. It reaches me, and I understand.

Nothing drove home the idea of grace harder than the image of Jesus washing his disciples feet. Even Judas' feet. Max talks about the grossness of feet, and how Jesus stooped to wash the dirt and grime off the feet of everyone who would eventually end up abandoning him. The line that really hit me was this: "If He washes the feet of His Judas, you will have to wash the feet of yours."

Whoa.

Max talks about how grace has happened to each of us. How our feet are soaked with His grace. He has washed the filth from our lives.

Beautiful.

At the end of the book there is a reader's guide with questions for each chapter, a grace reading, scripture review and prayer, making this an excellent Bible study choice.

I would definitely, definitely recommend this book to anyone who was curious about, or struggling to understand the depths of God's grace.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Book has been provided courtesy of Thomas Nelson and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
Available at your favourite bookseller from Thomas Nelson.

Stuff

I'm not going to lie... I'm totally jealous that it's the American Thanksgiving today.

Happy Thanksgiving, by the way. You know, if you're American and all.

Does Australia have a Thanksgiving?

I don't know.

But now I need to find out.

I'm so happy that I have three whole days with my sweet family this weekend. Ian has an appointment tomorrow so I took the day off to be with the children. I'm going to drive the three older ones to school, then go to my mother's for breakfast and to visit for the morning. It's her birthday tomorrow.

Ian bought Matthew some new pjs today. So cute. I call them grandpa jammies. You know what those are, right? The button shirt and pants. Oh my word he looks so adorable. When I came home from work I went into the kitchen to see him and he was wearing a "My Mom Rocks" t-shirt. LOVE!

Last night Sam and I went to check out another high school. We're all hoping he gets accepted into the arts program at the other school, but just in case he doesn't he needs a plan b. This school was so huge. Three stories and just BIG. The uniforms were nice and there are tons of clubs and sports to join. Sam couldn't possibly have been less interested. His hopes are all pinned on the arts school.

Oh boy.

Jordan has been doing this blinky thing that is freaking me out. I don't know if she's stressed or tired or her eyes or dry or what. But I'm this close to taking her to the doctor even if he just tells me to chill out.

I finally broke down and bought an ice scraper for my car. It's pink. There have been several mornings recently where there has been frost on the windows and I had to scrape it off with a credit card.

Don't judge.

I'm in complete denial that winter is coming. I hate winter.

I don't even want to talk about it.

And on that note... I'm going to bed.

Restless

If I had to describe how I am feeling these days, that's the word that comes to mind first.

Restless.

My heart is unsettled and I just feel... off.

Life feels backwards. I desperately want to be at home with the children again. I miss changing diapers and cooking and making peanut butter sandwiches and driving the children to school. I know that Ian longs to be back in the workforce, creating and presenting and leading.

My job is very stressful and the ever increasing pressure to produce is so intense. I've never had to work under conditions like these before and I'm really struggling. It's affecting me emotionally and physically and that frustrates me. I'm no longer that career driven woman I was before I had children. If I was, this job is it. There is a lot of potential with this position. But my priorities are so different now.

I feel disconnected from my children. I'm tired by the end of the night and there isn't much of anything left for Ian. That's not fair to him. I never was any good at balancing work life and home life.

I don't understand why things are the way they are. I do believe that God's plans are better than ours, I do. I just don't get it. I don't know what it is we need to do or how we need to pray for Him to change things. I don't know how to be settled with the way things are. I just tell Him that I'm sad and how much I miss my old life, and trust that He knows the why of things.

I know I sound whiny, and I'm sure I'm coming across as ungrateful. I'm sorry. I'm just so tired and so sad, and I just needed somewhere to let it out.

** I've turned off the comments to this post because I don't want anyone to feel as though they have to say something. I just needed to whine a bit.**

November 16 ~ 5QF



I am looking forward to a weekend of doing nothing. Sleeping in, lazing about, napping in the afternoon....

 

My reality will be more like helping to organize the garage, rearranging some furniture to make room for our Christmas tree, laundry, and church.

 

But holding out hope for a nap...

 

This week my mom and I went out for dinner to celebrate Diwali as we do each year. Of course, we aren't celebrating Diwali as much as we're just enjoying a reason to go out for dinner together.

 

Wednesday was the Open House at the high school Sam is desperately wanting to attend. I have my course every Wednesday, so my mom came to watch Julie and the little ones, while  Ian and Sam headed over to the school. Only 22 students are accepted into the media program, and Sam is longing to be one of them.

 

I can't believe that we're discussing high schools already. Wasn't he a baby just last week...?

 

Ok. I can't sit here chatting you up any longer - I need to get my butt to work!

 

Welcome to Five Question Friday!!

As I mentioned yesterday, I am hosting this week's Five Question Friday for Mama M at My Little Life, while she and her darling daughter Belle enjoy themselves at Disney World.

Rules for 5QF:  Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, LINK UP with the linky thinky at the bottom of this post! Mama M would love to link to you in a future 5QF, so head on over to her community or watch for her Thursday afternoon shout outs for questions on Twitter and offer up your best question suggestions! Remember to @5crookedhalos her and use hashtag #5QF if you go the Twitter route!)

Special thanks to this week's contributors: MrsKarenC (@mrs_karenC) at Dinosaur Superhero Mommy, Maranda (@MarandaLamping) at Maranda Lamping, Brooke (@HallBro) who doesn't have a blog it seems. (Get on that, Brooke!), Kristina (@Kristinascackle) at Kristina's Cackles and Ashley (@ashleywbeck) at The Court of Three Sisters.

Lovely women.

Make sure you check them out!

On to the questions!

1} What snack/drinks do you eat at the movies?

I like popcorn or plain M&Ms. I'll bring my own diet pepsi with me because I can't stand the concession stand prices. I have this one friend that CANNOT STAND it when I pop the tab on my can. She thinks I'm the cheapest person ever.

2} What's one food you refuse to ever try?

Oysters. They sound gross and they look gross and I'm just betting they taste gross too.

3} What's your favourite nail polish color?

I love Expresso by Sally Hansen. I've recently discovered Essie and the rainbow of beautiful colours, but I haven't chosen a favourite Essie yet. I have been really enjoying the darker colours but Ian can't stand them. I'm wearing something orangey-pinky and he likes that.

Next week it's grey... prepare yourself Ian.

4} What is your favourite Thanksgiving tradition?

We just had our Thanksgiving last month and I'm jealous that the US is about to have theirs. We don't have any particular traditions. Just a beautifully cooked bird and precious time around the table together.

5} What are your least favorite words in the English language?

My #1 least favourite word is "share". I have serious sharing issues. I also don't like "meal" or "slacks".

That's a wrap for this week! Don't forget to link up below!



Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Five Question Friday Preview!

Welcome to the Five Question Friday preview!!
I'm very excited to be hosting this week's Five Question Friday for Mama M at My Little Life, while she and her darling daughter Belle enjoy themselves at Disney World.

Totally jealous.

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear Friday morning and LINK UP!

Mama M would love to link you in a future 5QF, so head on over to her community or watch for her Thursday afternoon shout outs for questions on Twitter and offer up your best question suggestions! Remember to @5crookedhalos her and use hashtag #5QF if you go the Twitter route!)

Special thanks to this week's contributors: MrsKarenC (@mrs_karenC) at Dinosaur Superhero Mommy, Maranda (@MarandaLamping) at Maranda Lamping, Brooke (@HallBro) who doesn't have a blog it seems. (Get on that, Brooke!), Kristina (@Kristinascackle) at Kristina's Cackles and Ashley @ashleywbeck at The Court of Three Sisters.

Lovely women. Make sure you check them out!

This week's questions are....

1} What snack/drinks do you eat at the movies?

2} What's one food you refuse to ever try?

3} What's your favourite nail polish color?

4} What is your favourite thanksgiving tradition?

5} What are your least favorite words in the English language?

Remember, this is just a preview and the real deal is tomorrow.

See you then!

Essie... I Love You

I love freshly polished nails.

Every Sunday night, after the girls have their baths, we get together and I do their nails.

Julie always comes prepared with the colour she's chosen. Jordan is another story and choosing her colour can take awhile.

It's sweet girl-time together that the three of us have come to look forward to at the end of each weekend.

Once their nails are dry and they've been tucked into bed, I do my own while watching Revenge on tv.

Recently I discovered Essie nail polish.

I love it.

Every shade of every colour you can imagine. And they all have such cute names.

This one?

This one is called Bahama Mama.

I. Love. It.

Ian? Not so much. He prefers when I use bright colours, not "emo or goth" colours like this. But he won't come out and say he doesn't like it. He'll just try to avoid looking at my hands altogether.

I asked my mom what she thought:

Me: What do you think of my nail polish?
Mom: I think you should have left it in the bottle.
Me: I love it! It was half price.
Mom: You still paid too much for it.

Dang, Mama. Don't hold back now...

Seriously though...it's crazy expensive polish.

Recently I was at the right place at the right time and scored three bottles for 50% off.

Someone suggested I check out eBay where they sell them in lots for cheap.

I'm not allowed to use eBay without spousal supervision due to The Incident. But we don't need to talk about that. It's in the past. So now I have to come up with an explanation as to why I need to buy nail polish in bulk....

Oh Essie... I love you...

Rambling Thoughts

Hello, hello.

I'm still alive, just very busy.

And now... I'm about to be very rambly. Which isn't even a word.

Ian and I are going to a surprise party for an old friend of his this weekend. I'll have to practice my small talk so I don't sound like a moron.

I went to a Ladies Game Night at the church recently. I don't like to play games but I'm lonely and need to socialize more. I met a couple of new ladies and visited with some sweet friends I haven't seen in awhile. There's a Victorian Tea coming up later this month. I don't know what that's all about but I'll go.

So many of my friends are having babies lately, or so it seems. Oh I love a new little squishy baby. I'm done though. Never thought I'd be able to truthfully say that, but I am.

I have recently discovered the tv show Flashpoint and I love it. I don't know where I've been all this time, but this show is amazing and it's filmed right here in Toronto.

I wish it was my birthday so I could buy myself a birthday cake. I love cake.

I'm longing for a road trip.

My Mattie has had a cold for a week now. He seems to get better and then crashes again. He sees the doctor tomorrow.

I had the best visit with my mom tonight. We talked for hours and it felt so good to be with her. It's been awhile.

The biggest thrill of my life lately has been the new laundry detergent Ian switched to. It's Arm & Hammer something or other and it's HEAVENLY. I am constantly smelling my clothes and I'm sure I look like a weirdo but I can't help myself. (I just did it now)

I'm still thinking about getting a tattoo. I haven't decided what I want though, or where I'd put it. Ian doesn't like tattoos though, so I probably won't get one.

I miss being a redhead.

I wish I could sleep for three days straight. I'm always so tired.

I wish I could iron something. Ironing really relaxes me.

Christmas is next month. Can you believe that? We're all very excited to decorate our new home. Not sure where we'll put the Christmas tree. Someone in our neighbourhood has their Christmas lights up already.

Next week is Diwali. My mom and I always go out for lunch or dinner each year to celebrate.

I wish people wouldn't leave messages on my cell phone. It's such a process to retrieve it and I have call display so there's no need to leave a message. Someday I'm going to switch my voicemail message to say "It's Kate - don't leave a message!"

I'm fighting the urge to shop online. I don't need anything but the idea of ordering something from my chair is appealing to me right now. Oh, you know what I'd like? A mother's necklace or something. You know what I mean, something with my kids' names and/or birthstones. Something like that. I do own a Lisa Leonard necklace but it doesn't have Matthew's name on it. She said I could send it in and she'll add his name but I don't want to part with it in case it gets lost in the mail.

Ok that concludes my rambling for tonight.