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I hate feeling like this.
Yesterday I got tired of putting a smile on everything and just felt mad. I went to bed earlier than usual because nothing positive was coming out of my mouth and I wasn't being particularly sweet.
I cried for a bit. Prayed for a bit. Pulled out my crayons and colouring books for a bit. Tried to sleep.
It irks me how some people seem to have the easiest time with everything, while others are left to struggle over and over, for everything.
The job market is crap right now. Ian is trying so hard but no one will return his calls.
My head knows God is in control and He has a plan...but my heart tells me He has forgotten us. I know I can't give into my feelings so I'm trying to listen to my head more.
Our son is due in 11 weeks. There is so much uncertainty about the future that I can't even let myself get truly excited. I'm too caught up in the whole "what are we going to do if..."
It's a control thing, you know? I like to have control of what's going to happen, to know what to expect. Right now I've got nuthin. I can't see the future, I can't plan for it. All I can do is endure until things get better.
Ugh. Ugh. UGH!
Ian bought me a box of M&Ms and I just might eat.them.all.
/end whinefest
Praying for you friend!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, whine away...and eat ANOTHER box of M&M's. Soon, you will see God's plan, and wonder why you worried so.
ReplyDeleteHugs, my girl...and if you ever need to chat more than 140 characters or via something other than WWF messaging, you know where I am.
Love ya!
I'm so sorry right now is being so difficult. I know the feeling of going to bed because nothing sweet or positive is coming out and sometimes, it's just the way it is. That is ok!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your family, that God will lead you to a new light quickly to put your fears at rest. It is hard to wait.
Oh girl...I feel your pain!!! Except you're 11 from the end & I'm just 11 in! :/ I don't know how many nights I have cried myself to sleep! This pregnancy stuff is tough...I had NO IDEA!! I think the worrying multiplies during pregnancy!! Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteOh girl...I feel your pain!!! Except you're 11 from the end & I'm just 11 in! :/ I don't know how many nights I have cried myself to sleep! This pregnancy stuff is tough...I had NO IDEA!! I think the worrying multiplies during pregnancy!! Praying for you!
ReplyDelete