Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Tough Day

Today was absolutely brutal. My emotions and anxiety were out of control. I can hardly wait to go to bed so this day can be over.

Being that my temp assignment is over with, I was able to re-join my friends at my Wednesday morning Bible study, aka Coffee Hour. I woke up and didn't feel like going at all. It's been my experience that when I feel that way about something (especially church related) then that's the very thing I should be doing.

It was so good to see Jen after almost a month. Her little man is three months old now and so cute. I held him a couple of times and he smiled at me. Such a sweetheart.

The focus of our study is on prayer and it's a good one. I'm enjoying it. The conversation was lively but I didn't participate. I was there in body, but not in mind. I went so the enemy wouldn't win. I spent the morning concentrating on keeping myself together and was succeeding until someone started talking about losing faith in the hard times.

Oh yes. That sounded uncomfortably familiar.

I felt the tears starting in my throat, so I began composing my grocery list in my mind to take me elsewhere.

I was fine until my friend who leads our group asked how I was doing, and how Ian's job search was coming along. I just shook my head and the tears started.

Ugh. I hate crying in front of people.

I was so grateful that Jen was sitting beside me, because she reached for my hand and I felt instantly better. These women love me, just as much as I love them, and they are praying for us. Even though my faith is being attacked, they continue to pray for me while it seems I can't.

While we were at the church my mom called. The school called her saying that Sam was sick, could she come pick him up? So we headed over there to get him. When we wondered why they didn't call us on our cell phones he said that he knew I was in my Bible study and Ian was in a meeting, so he said his Gram would come for him. Poor guy. He slept most of the afternoon and seemed to be much better at bedtime.

Tonight Jules and Ian walked over to the store to get some Motrin for Sam and also picked up some graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate for us to make S'mores in the microwave. Julie prepared them and the two of us stood in front of the microwave, squealing as the marshmallows got bigger and bigger.

My word... they were good.

Jordan has been a ham today. She will clap when we sing "If You're Happy And You Know It", will put both her hands on her face when she hears "Oh no!", waves and will scrunch up her shoulders and smile. Not sure what that one is about yet! She had scrambled eggs for breakfast and loved them.

OhmywordLOSTisabsolutelyamazingthisseason!!!!!! I loved tonight's episode.

I am hoping that tomorrow is a better day for me emotionally. I can't do another one like today.

1 comment:

  1. I will always be there to squeeze your hand, always.

    And I'm sorry for saying "Everything will be ok." I didn't mean to say it, it just popped out. I know it wasn't what you wanted to hear!


    Talk to you soon, my dear friend!