Thursday, January 21, 2010

Feelin' Blue

I woke up feeling so blue this morning. I’m not sure why, it’s not like there is anything earth shatteringly wrong with me. Things are actually going quite smoothly which is really nice. So what’s going on then?

It’s not even 9:30 and I’ve cried three times.

UGH!

I’m frustrated with my body. I’ve been doing the Shred every single day (except for my birthday because I think everyone should be exempt from doing unpleasant things on their birthday) and my body hurts. My knees are in excruciating pain all the time. I don’t know if I’m causing damage to them or not but I’m fed up with the pain. Yes, I’ve lost 11 lbs and that’s all well and good, because my goal for January was 10 lbs, but it’s just not happening fast enough.

I’m frustrated.

I’m tired of hurting all over.

And I miss eating cookies. I really, really, really love cookies.

Yep, I’m aware that eating cookies are partially to blame for the mess I’m in. We don't need to go there!

I feel like my motivation has gone on vacation and I want to give up. But I can’t. I won’t. My husband and children are so proud of me, and so encouraging. If not for them I likely would have given up awhile ago.

It’s not just this weight-loss thing that has me down. It’s a few different things, but what would be the point of whining about everything? My blessings far outweigh any negativity.

I think I’m being attacked spiritually today. No, I don’t think it. I know it. Satan knows what all of my weak spots are and he’s working his way through them one by one.

I hate him. I really, truly do.

I’m going to put on some butt-twitchin’ worship music and play with Jordan and draw pictures with her and clean my home and do laundry and just keep pressing forward.

Would you pray for me today?

Thank you, friends. Hopefully I’ll be back to my usual self soon.

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24 comments:

  1. Hubby Ian9:58 AM

    I will, I am, and you CAN do it... and tonight my dear, you are getting to bed early since exhaustion will only weaken your resolve.

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  2. Ian is RIGHT! exhaustion has A LOT to do with how your feeling! I am praying for you :)

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  3. You can do it! Don't give up!

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  4. Love and hugs to a wonderful friend - prayers are headed upstairs for ya Chickadee. Hang in there and know that even if you don't always love yourself, LOADS of other people love you so go ahead and feel how you wanna feel and don't make apologies and surround yourself with those amazing blessings and Satan will give up and see that your stubbornness is too much for him and he'll ditch soon enough. HUGS!

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  5. Dear Kate, I just want to encourage you to keep going. You are right that Satan attacks us. He does know our weaknesses and he uses it to slowly chip away at our faith. Be strong, fear not. 1Cor tells us that God will not tempt us beyond what we can bear and he will always provide a way out!

    As for how you are feeling, remember that you are detoxifying and strengthening your body. Your body is flesh and it will rebel. It knows what it wants and you are depriving it. Toxins are being released and working there way through and out of your body. Hold fast...you CAN do it!!

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  6. Well, Miss Kate...you are SO normal. Everyone has these days, and I know it's never any consolation to hear that...but it's true. Can I tell you, my biggest weakness is sweet stuff??? Cookies, candies, you name it, I love it. Here's what I do...I allow myself one day each week where I eat whatever I want. Now, that doesn't mean I plop myself down at the all you can eat buffet and go to town. What I mean is that if I want a burger a fries for lunch that day, I have it. If I want a sweet treat for dessert that night, I allow it. Then, the next day it's back to eating clean(by this I mean healthy). About your body being sore, you have to remember that it took a long time to get out of shape, it takes a long time to get back into it! Remember to focus on each day as it comes. If your knees are really and truly hurting while you are exercising, then modify whatever it is that makes them hurt. If it is high impact stuff, like jumping, tone it down. I'm here to tell you that I do and have worked out for as long as I can remember, and I still feel sore when I push myself. Try treating yourself to something like a massage or a pedicure since you reached your January goal. Then treat yourself each time you reach a month's goal. Just remember to set realistic goals. Goals that are a stretch, but are attainable.

    As for the weight coming off, it will. I know you love the Biggest Loser and you see what they lose in a week...but they are working out all day every stinkin day. You live in the real world, where 1-2 pounds per week is something of which you should feel proud.

    So, don't give up. Trudge through. You are so worth it! And I know you can do it.

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  7. praying for you! I will get better! Sometimes a small treat is okay, if it will keep you from losing it and binging...just keep it small and enjoy it. One of my favorite snacks used to be greek yogurt with fresh strawberries or fresh bannanas, a litle granola and a small handful of choc. chips. sometimes a bit of fat free whip cream topping. Sadly, I think I am allergic to milk, so had to stop it.

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  8. I'm praying for your right now :) 11 pounds is AMAZING! and it's never fast enough when we're working so hard . . but you're doing amazing!
    Do you ice your knees? You should ice them . . .and maybe see a chiropractor while you're working your body so hard.

    *giggle* "butt-twitchin’ " I have never heard that before and promise to use it in a sentence later today if I can!

    Have a better day! and I agree with your Hubby . . .sleep makes many things better :)

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  9. I am praying for you! I know its hard... weight loss is a very hard journey to make... BUT you my friend can do it! I am so proud of you for the 11lbs you have lost so far!!

    Hang in there.. enjoy that sunshine of a little girl you have today and listen to your worship music! I bet spunky Kate will be back in no time ;)

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  10. Awwwww...look at that sweet comment!

    Kate...you are amazing...you are wonderful and charming and funny and totally, completely, earth shatteringly inspirational! You have my prayers...and my thoughts...and a great big hug!!

    Oh, and btw...11 pounds?!!!!! Way to go!

    Love ya, friend...

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  11. "Always RIGHT" Hubby Ian1:36 PM

    Hey Jackiedlc - could you just say that one more time, a little louder... "Ian is RIGHT!"
    Oh, and then feel free to go ahead and repeat that comment on this blog every day going forward. It would make things SO much easier.
    ;-)

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  12. Praying for you Kate! I think we all get discouraged and feel blue sometimes. You're doing great and congrats on the 11 pound weight loss...that's awesome!!!! And don't feel bad, I miss cookies too. SERIOUSLY.

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  13. Well for real you are my motivation. Loosing 11 pounds, exercising-even in pain, and living to blog about it! Really I need to get my butt in gear and when you complain you are in pain and then go do the shred- I make myself get up and do a pilates video. Just because of you so you can not quit! But I know how you feel- the beginning is good- the weight loss is good but you are not seeing changes fast enough. Try to get over this rough patch and it will get better. I promise. When it is more of a lifestyle it will be easier. I hope I can listen to myself!

    You are awesome and I am praying for you!!

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  14. I am SO praying for you sweet friend. I know how difficult it can be to stay positive and upbeat when you are feeling far from it!

    I think the one thing that can snap me out of a funk is hope. When I have hope for something... there is a new perspective in my thinking and I am happier.

    What do you hope for??

    Blessings-
    Amanda

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  15. Lady, I so feel for you....I am in a similar situation and just really want to give up. I will be praying for you today, and every day. You can do it woman, you have done a fabulous job so far....way better than I. You can do it Momma!

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  16. (hug) You've got a strong support group here!

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  17. Just adding another HUG in case you need one more :-)

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  18. You are so amazing, seriously you are inspiring others!! I am so praying for you sweet friend. I hope today got better for you and your funk is totally gone soon. On another note...have you seen a doctor about your pain? That much pain really could mean something might be wrong and most workout programs say to consult your doctor. Just a though, I would hate for you to be pushing through the pain and hurting something even worse and then be back at stage one. Big hugs to you sweetie!!

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  19. Sorry friend that you are struggling today. I said a prayer for you as soon as I read your post. That is very spiritually aware of you to recognize this could be an attack by the enemy. Put on the armor of God and be strong.

    That being said, just remember, tomorrow's a new day :-) {{hugs to you}}

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  20. 11 pounds!!! WAY TO GO GIRL!!! that is wicked awesome.... I have days like that but mine are due to NO hormones. I am praying for you. Tell Satan to go jump in a lake....

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  21. I hear you. I feel you. I am right there with you, and to be very honest...I could have written this exact same post today...except for the fact that I have NOT lost 11 pounds, lol!

    Kate you are an inspiration, and of course I will keep you in my prayers. Hang in there, girl. ((((hugs)))) I am proud of you.

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  22. You can do it! 11 pounds is amazing girl! Do what you need to in order to take care of your body and keep up your motivation! You will make it!
    Oh, and the words butt-twitchin' and worship in the same sentence is so stinkin' funny! Love it!!!

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  23. I pray you wake up in the morning with your joy fully restored.

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  24. Just adding another HUG in case you need one more :-)

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