I envied someone for their big house, new cars and hot tub in the backyard.
I used to feel so angry towards my friends who were able to afford to be stay at home moms.
I hated listening to people talk about their vacations or what they'd bought at the mall lately, or where they went for dinner the night before.
And those people who made multiple trips to Starbucks everyday? RAWR!
Then I stepped back and looked around me.
Everyone struggles with or carries something.
We're going through a difficult season, there's no doubt about that. I wish things were different or more settled than they are, but that isn't the way it is right now. I have accepted that things aren't what I want them to be.
But they're better than they could be. When I think of everyone I know, there is no one else whose life I wish I had.
While talking about this with my aunt, she shared a story with me that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. I tried finding it online somewhere but I haven't been able to. But I did find this one, and I wanted to share it with you.
A troubled and burdened man prayed and prayed that God would lift his burden. Day after day he prayed that his life would be easier and he begged for God's intervention.
One day, Jesus came to the man and asked, "My child, what troubles you?" The man replied that his life was full of turmoil and that it had become too much to bear. He again asked for help stating that he just couldn't continue to go on.
Jesus, feeling the man's anguish, decided help was in order. The man was so happy that his prayers were about to be answered that his burden already felt lighter.
Jesus took the man to a room and stopped in front of the door. When he opened the door, what the man saw was amazing. The room was filled with crosses; little crosses, big crosses, giant crosses. The man, bewildered, looked at Jesus and asked how this would help him. Jesus explained that each cross represented a burden that people carry; small burdens, big burdens, giant burdens -- and every burden in-between.
At this point, Jesus offered the man the opportunity to choose his burden. The man, so excited that he was finally able to have some control over his life, looked around the room for just the right cross. He saw a tiny little cross way back in the corner. It was the smallest cross in the room. After a bit of thought, he pointed to the cross and said, "That one, Lord. I want that one." Jesus asked, "Are you sure, my son?" The man quickly replied, "Oh, yes Lord. Most definitely, yes."
Jesus turned to the man and replied, "My child, you have chosen your own cross. It is the burden you already carry."
~Author Unknown~
Doesn't that give you chills? I sure got them when I read this.
Our cross feels huge. But is it really? If Jesus were to show us a room like this and told us to choose our cross... would it really be that big in comparison to the others?
Makes me think. And it makes me feel grateful that financial difficulty is all we're dealing with. And to be honest, it makes me want to stop praying for God to remove this from us, because things could be so much worse.
I'm always grateful when something - or someone - gives me a wake up call like this. It's like a breath of fresh air.
Instead of praying for God to take this from us, I'm going to pray for perserverance and provision, and wait patiently (gulp!) for Him to act.
Patience... yeah, I'll have to work on that one...
:-D
Good words, my friend! We're loving Matt Redman's new song:
ReplyDeleteNever Once
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory
Is Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
What a powerful post. You are right. Just when things look horrible, there is something there to remind us that, "hey, it's not SO bad"!
ReplyDeleteYou are a blessing...I am thankful to God that He brought you into my life! Thank you for this story!!
That was an awesome story! AND I'm so excited to hear your take on your current situation. You're right it could be far worse. And God sometimes allows the hard parts to draw us closer to Him. Sounds like you are on the right track.
ReplyDeleteI needed this. Justin and I were having a conversation very similar to yours last night and one of the things I confided in him that I feel is fear that once our basement situation is resolved, it will leave us open for a different cross to bear - one heavier and more difficult to carry... like my kids' health being in jeopardy or something. So long as they are healthy, I'll carry any other cross. And routinely, all I pray for is grace, patience and strength. Always. I also harbor a great deal of anger over the whole hot mess and sometimes that spills over and I'm short and cold to my kids... and I pray that I can find a way to deal with that anger because I am so, so, so terrified that I'll wake up one day and the day before will have been the last with my babies and I'll have wasted it on ugly emotions. I also frequently pray for understanding.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard Kate. It is. And I am so sorry you're dealing with it all. But I thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. Love you!