Thursday, September 09, 2010

Disappointment Sucks

A couple of weeks ago I commented on my facebook page that I was looking for a job in my field (collections) and if anyone knew of any companies that were hiring to please let me know.

A couple of days later an old friend contacted me and told me about a possible opening at his company for a collector. And the best part? It was a work-from-home position. That would be perfect for me because Ian takes the car to work every day.

I went in to meet with the President and Controller on Tuesday morning, and it seemed to go really well. I gave the interview my all, and they seemed very receptive to everything I said or suggested. The conversation was easy and comfortable. We talked about how quickly they could count on seeing results, and we talked about salary requirements. I was told they'd like to call my references and get back to me on Thursday.

The initial feedback from my friend was that they wanted to work something out with me and have me start as early as Friday. I was so excited to be able to work from home, still be there for my children, care for the house, help my mom and bring in an income.

I really thought God had heard my prayers and exceeded them. I was so thankful.

The next day - Wednesday - I heard from the Controller and was told that they loved meeting me, but they had decided to hire someone to work in-house. I thanked them for taking the time to meet with me and that it was a pleasure meeting them.

When I hung up I started to cry.

God didn't hear my prayers after all.

As hard as I tried to not get ahead of myself or too excited, I realized how much I had been counting on this opportunity working out.

When Ian came home last night he sent me up to our room to have some quiet time. I pulled out my crayons and colouring books and let myself feel the full weight of the disappointment. I cried and coloured and plotted my next plan of action.

I'm not worried about finding work. Collectors are in demand these days so I'm sure I'll find something. I will call my contacts this afternoon once Jordan goes down for her nap.

I know I've been a stay-at-home mom for a few years now, and that's more that I had with either of my first two children, and more than most moms get. I don't mean to sound so ungrateful. It's just hard for me to let go of something I really, truly love. I want that to matter to God too.

I'm sure you're tired of me complaining about this, but be warned...I'm probably not done yet.

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12 comments:

  1. Big hugs to you friend. I'm still praying that you'll find the right thing for you, in the right time.

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  2. Aw, Kate - God DID hear you! He just knows WAY more than you and saw that, as much as YOU may have thought this was perfect, it just wasn't so much. Don't worry - He's listening, but the way He responds isn't always in the way we want Him to. It's kinda His right, since He's got the all-knowing, all-powerful gig going on... it's so frustrating to feel like you're wandering alone, but you're not, really. He's there - He always is. And He'll do the best by His children, just as you always try to do the best by YOUR children. Until He figures out what to do with you - or, more accurately, until YOU realize what it is He has decided to do with you, try to enjoy staying with your kiddos and being the stay-at-home momma you've done so well with being each minute you can. We're all here to support you - and offering our love and prayers!

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  3. Hang in there!! God has a wonderful plan for you....He's just keeping it a secret right now! When the time is right, He'll let you know!! Everything happens for a reason, and everything happens the way it's supposed to...the way God planned it!! Hugs and prayers!

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  4. God ALWAYS hears your prayers...he just must have something better planned for you and your family. :) Hang in there!!

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  5. I was going to say the same thing as Laura! I often think that God isn't hearing my prayers or that maybe my requests just aren't important enough for him to grant them. Then I have to remember that God is still in control and I have to accept that he obviously didn't have whatever it was in His plans for me. I will be saying a little prayer for you and hope you get something even better than the one that got away!

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  6. I'm so sorry it didn't work out as you wanted it to. :( Disappointment does suck, but keep having faith that there is something better out there for you. :)

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  7. Hugs to you... I do understand how you feel. When you're passionate about something, it's hard NOT to do it.

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  8. Kate I'm so sorry. HUGS

    You should've texted me. I would've brought you some tea and give you a huge hug.

    There is something better out there for you. Don't give up. God knew this wasn't right for you.

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  9. We all have our times of trials and our reasons to whine, so no worries!

    But ya know, just because that door was closed, doesn't mean God doesn't have something even better for you up His sleeve. Stay in prayer and trust in Him for the solution.

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  10. Oh sweet Kate. I can totally commiserate with you on this. I had my first interview in 16 months (!!) a couple weeks ago. It went incredibly well, the interviewer told me he really liked my enthusiasm, thought I'd be a great fit, yada yada yada... then I never heard a single word back from him.

    UGH. Vent away! Job searching is incredibly frustrating.

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  11. I'm so sorry it didn't work out as you wanted it to. :( Disappointment does suck, but keep having faith that there is something better out there for you. :)

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  12. Aw, Kate - God DID hear you! He just knows WAY more than you and saw that, as much as YOU may have thought this was perfect, it just wasn't so much. Don't worry - He's listening, but the way He responds isn't always in the way we want Him to. It's kinda His right, since He's got the all-knowing, all-powerful gig going on... it's so frustrating to feel like you're wandering alone, but you're not, really. He's there - He always is. And He'll do the best by His children, just as you always try to do the best by YOUR children. Until He figures out what to do with you - or, more accurately, until YOU realize what it is He has decided to do with you, try to enjoy staying with your kiddos and being the stay-at-home momma you've done so well with being each minute you can. We're all here to support you - and offering our love and prayers!

    ReplyDelete