@#&%!!

I have been such a major crabasaurus today you wouldn't believe it unless you saw me in action. I have been cross with everyone in this house plus a few people at Walmart. I don't remember being this crusty since I was pregnant!

I cried three times before lunch.

My inlaws came today to help us with the house. Ian, his dad and Sam painted our garage, front post pillars and front door. It looks so fresh and new out there now. Now I want the lawn and garden fixed up so they match!

Ian's mom, Julie and I worked in my bathroom peeling wallpaper. What an AWFUL job. I started complaining about three minutes into the job. My mother-in-law is so task oriented. She will start something and not stop until she is done. I am not that way. I started off saying "my this job is unpleasant". That escalated to "ugh.. this sucks..." then it was "do you ever want to swear when you are doing a job like this, Mum? Because I am feeling like I want to shout the F-word a few times" and then finally "oh my gosh I want to slit my wrists right about now!" She just kept working, patient as ever. As we were wrapping up for the day she said that she always felt so good having accomplished something like this. I replied that I felt like killing someone.

Sam helped peel too and between him and Julie they were absolutely tireless. They even continued to peel and scrape long after my inlaws left! Sam said he wanted "to knock this job off the list" followed by Julie's "absolutely!"

Those kids amazed me today. Between trips to the storage unit with Ian to unload boxes, to scraping wallpaper, painting, delivering laundry to the proper rooms, to helping tidy up wherever needed... they were unbelievable. If there was a task to be done, they were there to do it, no complaints. We are so proud of them.

At one point (ok, many points, but I'm being specific here) I was feeding Jordan and just feeling so overwhelmed with the huge mess everywhere in the house and I started to cry. Kind of hard. Julie came out of the bathroom and stroked my cheek and said "Aww Mom... what can I do for you? What do you need from me?"

This child is SEVEN! I had to just close my eyes and praise the Lord for this beautiful child, for the loving and compassionate heart He put inside her.

Ian ran one of his awesome candlelit bubble baths for me and I read my bible while I soaked. I feel so distant from Him lately and my mind is filled with so much noise that I haven't heard Him speaking to me. I prayed over and over that He would bring me back to Him.

I'm glad this day is over. I have been so hard on everyone and in return they have treated me with such love. I have an amazing family and today I didn't deserve them. All I can do is try to be better for them ~ and to them ~ tomorrow.