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When I logged in today I was surprised that I haven't written anything since May.
There's been a lot going on here for the last several weeks. For while there, every time I sat down to write....nothing came out.
So... I just stopped trying.
To be honest I'm struggling and choosing joy every day is getting harder. I'm tired. I thought things would be different by now and the dreams that I had held on to and prayed for are slipping away. I feel full of sadness. While I am extremely grateful for the provision of my job, the weight of my responsibility and workload is overwhelming. I'm becoming someone I don't want to be.
Sadly, we have been deeply wounded by our church in these past several weeks and it's been a very, very, difficult time for us. We remain hopeful that God will restore all if we give it all to Him. In the meantime, I've stopped attending our home church.
I just feel overwhelmed with sadness tonight.
If you should feel led to do so, I would appreciate your prayers for my family.
Praying for you dear Kate, I feel so sad that you have been hurt and life is just not as it was that you expected it to be. I won't stop praying, thanks for the update. I know I don't have any real extreme words of wisdom, but a couple of my favourite verses from Proverbs are "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight (Prov 3:5,6). I too am dealing with (along with my husband and children) a very difficult time, our 19 year old son has had an incurable neurological disease called TSC since birth and it affectss mosts of his major systems in his body, causing seizures and mental delays (he is like a 4 year old), he is now officially in stage 3 kidney failure and will not go on dialysis or receive a transplant due to the nature of his disease. So we officially just managing his pain and slowly watching him deteriorate over the last month. Life sure hadn't turned out how we expected either so don't be hard on yourself. Love your Canadian sister in the Lord, transplanted in South Carolina, sending you a great big hug!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you will see this but in case you do, will you contact me at katieb38@hotmail.com? I'd love to reconnect with you.
Deleteyou got it, Kate :( This, too, shall pass. And you and your family will be stronger because of it. In the mean time, much love and thoughts to your family.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Kate I am praying for you and sending my love your way. I am so so sorry that you are struggling and especially that you have been wounded by your church. I just don't understand when stuff like that happens in a place like church. I am praying that God will reveal His plan to you in a big way and just love on you today. Hold fast in His presence. Hugs!!
ReplyDeletesaying a little prayer for you and you're family. I've been wondering if all was okay and have already been praying - so now I know how to pray.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I have been praying for you daily. You are so strong and I am not surprised that you are weakening...I love you friend and will continue to lift you up. xo
ReplyDeleteHugs sweetie. I am sorry you are going through a rough time. We are too. If you need to talk I am pretty sure you have my email.
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet Kate. I can not blame you for feel so discouraged and wounded...you've had a rough go of it for too long. Will most definitely keep you in my prayers. Love you friend.
ReplyDeleteLifting you in prayer, Kate. Know that your presence here is honest and a ministry within itself. You inspire people through your struggles. You are so loved!
ReplyDeletehoping things are restored quickly, nothing worse than not feeling safe with your own chuch
ReplyDeleteCatching up on blog reading...I think of you often and wanted to let you know that I am saying a little prayer for you. I pray that you may choose joy and that your joy may be restored. With God, all things are possible. I have missed your blog posts.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog from Mama M. My heart and prayers go out to you. We have had to leave our home church as well. It is so hard sometimes to know that we are doing God's will. It has really been hard visiting other churchs as well. Praying for your sweet family.
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