Monday, December 31, 2007


I don't have a lot of complaints about my pregnancy. I'm so happy to be having Jordan and 99% of the time I feel terrific. I've been resting a lot and going easy on myself and I think that's helping. I've even been told by several people that I am absolutely glowing.

That said... there is that 1%. HORMONES! Oh my poor Ian.... he has the patience of a saint. If I'm not being cranky then I'm crying.... if I'm not crying I'm cranky... I am sure that if you were to ask him, it might be more than 1%! I know that you can't do a lot about hormones but still, I believe that ultimately I should be able to control my own behaviour and that being pregnant isn't an excuse to get cross with him about the recycling! Or to cry because I can't get my cheese packet open.

Yesterday I got my first cold of the season. Of course I was just telling Ian two days before that I was so lucky to not have gotten sick yet. When will I learn to keep my big trap shut? I think I slept in 20-30 minute spurts all night and finally moved downstairs to my recliner. Just as I'd be about to fall asleep Jordan started kicking me. :-) I love knowing she is ok in there but come on babe.... let momma sleep!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

2007 In Review

What a year! Packed full with emotion, trial, testing and faith.

This year was one of our darkest years and Ian and I struggled to deal with a painful family situation. It stretched on for most of the year but was resolved in part in October. Now healing can begin as we all move forward with a "new normal". I have felt my loving, Heavenly Father close to me at many times in my life but never as closely as this year. I could not have gotten through this year without His love and grace and mercy. He gave me just enough strength for each day and every day after that. He taught me to stay close, to trust and to be patient. He taught me just how much He loves me. There were moments when I would be on my knees, crying out to Him to help me and He did. He was at work in our situation all year, behind the scenes. His love for me overwhelms me and brings me to tears. He who sees the depths of my heart and loves me still.

While we dealt with this situation the Lord sent us many, many blessings. We had a couple of Niagara getaways at the start of the year, one at an indoor water park. What fun! We laughed so much together and just enjoyed each other's company. I loved watching my children overcome their fears - Julie of the wave pool and Sam with his waterslides.

May brought us back to Disney World! Two visits in less that two years - what a blessing. We had breakfast with Mickey and Minnie and lunch in Cinderella's Castle. Lots of rides and fireworks and waterpark fun. Precious time together with our children.

I took part in a wonderful bible study with my dear Christian sisters. We studied the book "Get Out Of That Pit!" By Beth Moore. It was all about the pits we get thrown into or jump into, and how to get out with Christ's help. A life changing book. I will likely read it again. Its been awhile since I've been in a study and it felt good to join one again. We are planning our next study to begin in mid-January but I'm not sure I will take part this time around. Jordan will be here in a few months and I am getting more tired as the weeks go on. We'll see. If God wants me there, He will strengthen me to be there.

This year brought challenges with friendships as well. I am always learning and striving to be a good friend, to be someone *I* would want to be friends with. Sometimes it's easy and sometimes that means standing up for yourself even when your friend thinks you are wrong. Even if it causes division in a relationship one must hold true to what they believe in and feel is right. But as one door closes another always opens and I have been nurturing a new friendship with a new sister in Christ. How wonderful it is to grow with this friend as we support one another through life's blessings and hardships.

What would a new year be without New Year's resolutions?? Here are mine:

1) After Jordan is born, I will begin my weight loss efforts. I'm at a point in my life where I don't care to be a size 6, I just want to live and be healthy and see my children have children. I am ready to tackle the reasons why I eat, what I am hiding from, what drives me to do what I do. I'm will work on this with God.

2) I want to stay on top of my housework so that people can drop by anytime and I won't be freaking out. I hate housework but I've kept the house up for the last week and it's easy if I do a bit each day. The kids are helping out too. There are still a couple of trouble spots but I'm working through those.

3) I want to socialize with friends more. Have them over, go over to their place, whatever. I worry so much about whether or not my home is "acceptable" to others that I don't bother to have them in. It's almost become an aversion or phobia.

4) I want to continue to work on my marriage and to put Ian and his needs before my own. I want to work harder at becoming a more godly wife.

5) I want to go on a date with my husband once a month.

This morning at church we had a time of sharing where people could share the wonderful things God has done in their lives this year. What an encouraging time! He is always present, He always cares, He is always at work for the good of those who love Him.

I am not sure what 2008 holds. Jordan's safe and healthy arrival is my constant prayer. Whatever comes, I can do all through Christ who strengthens me.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Baby News

It's funny how a year ago I was so excited about the possibility of having another child, and here I am already 6 months pregnant. I'll be 37 when this child arrives.... and likely in a retirement home when highschool graduation rolls around!

I'll start this story at the beginning. Always the best place to start.

I had been hoping since the spring to become pregnant but as each month passed I was trying not to be too blue. It had only been a couple of months after all, but with my age I figured it would take a little longer than my younger days. It was about a week after my period was due when I realized it hadn't arrived. I picked up a test on my way home from going to the movies with my friend and decided to take it first thing the next morning. I wasn't too enthused because I'd tested two months in a row and was disappointed. I ended up waking up at 4 am so decided to test right then. The test turned positive immediately and I just stood there staring at it in shock. I wished I'd bought TWO so I could have been sure!

I went back to bed and Ian rolled over and asked if I was ok. I said yes and he asked if I was sure. I said "I'm pregnant" and turned on the light to show him the test. He wasn't surprised at all. Me, I laid there until it was time to get up feeling all warm and happy.

I called my mom at 8:00. I knew I woke her up but I couldn't wait any longer. Ian's parents came for dinner that weekend and we told them then. A few days later we told the children.

Sam was not enthused at all. He knew I wanted another baby and he was very vocal about not wanting another sibling. If he found me holding a baby at church he would hurry over to tell me to give "it" back. Julie was thrilled from the start.

I had to find a doctor! My regular doctor retired in the spring. A friend of mine recommended her doctor and he agreed to take me on. HE. I've never had a male doctor before. Talk about freaky. He is very nice though and very assuring. He sent me for my first ultrasound at 9 weeks and everything looked good. The heart was beating nice and strong. I didn't have a lot of morning sickness, but I think that because I was off work I was able to rest as much as I needed to and that helped a lot.

I had my second ultrasound at about 21 weeks and we were too early for them to record gender. But Baby looked so beautifully formed and healthy. When I went for my next prenatal appointment at 24 weeks and I was told I needed to go back as some things couldn't been seen. I went in the very next day and got to see the baby again. The first two techicians couldn't see the outflow tracks so the second one suggested I walk around to see if we could get the baby to move positions. I walked and jumped and a half hour later went in again and the baby had moved from the regular transverse position (head to the right, bum to the left) and was almost head down. She got to see everything and let me know we are having a little girl.

Wow. Another little girl. I am SO excited. I would have been just as excited if it was another boy too, I have to admit. Her name will be Jordan Theresa Faith. She is a fairly active baby. Not too much though. She lets me know she's around and kicks a lot when she hears Ian speaking. Julie was the same way. We saw her mouth moving constantly in the ultrasound so we figure she'll be another chatterbox like her sister!

Julie was thrilled to find out she'd be getting another sister. Sam was pretty disappointed at first but has come around. He plans to use her to tease Julie by saying that Jordan is prettier than her sister. Honestly! Now they both kiss my belly constantly and Sam fusses over me, making sure to hold my hand while we're walking, to ask if I'm ok if I cough or sneeze and even helps me off the couch.

It's amazing when I think that a year ago I was aching for another child. And I wonder how different life will be a year from today.

I go through my moments of "what have I done??" that's for sure. To think that with two totally self sufficient children I am starting all over again. Diapers, bottles, sleepless nights, ect. But then I get this huge rush of excitement that I get to do this again. I have two amazing children already and to be able to do this again is such a blessing. God cared about the deepest desire of my heart and He blessed me. Again. Me. Who am I that He should bless me so much?

I'm Back!

Long time, no posts! Many, many changes here. Life is good.

Where do I start?

I left my old company a year ago to take a new job developing and running a new A/R & Collections department. Well, it wasn't long after I arrived that I realized that the job I interviewed for was not exactly as it was represented to me. I met with a lot of resistance when it came to my collection methods, I wasn't given the tools I needed to successfully do my job and my office was next to a young girl who mistakenly understood my role to be her personal assistant. She was verbally abusive and witheld resources and information from me purposefully. I tried several times with several levels of management to resolve the situation but was unsuccessful. I left the company in the middle of July to stay home with my children for the remainder of the summer. I didn't want to put them in their old daycare arrangement, nor did I want them with a stranger. I wanted to be with them myself. We took several trips to the beach with my mom and aunt. Precious time. I knew I would need to find a job for the beginning of September. I prayed about it and trusted God that He would allow me the 7 weeks and provide something at the right time. He certainly did! He gave me 7 weeks and 1 day!

While I was off with the children I discovered I was pregnant. Yay! Talk about thrilling! I knew that any job I took would only be temporary so I didn't want to mislead a new employer about my situation. As it turned out, the job I took had me reporting to a woman who reminded me very much of someone I used to work for a year ago and I had promised myself back then I would never be treated like that again. So, in a fit of panic, hormones, whatever you want to call it, I quit. Not my smartest decision, nor my finest hour. We were going to be in a lot of trouble. I am not usually impulsive like that.

I've taken a couple of temp jobs with freight companies and met some interesting people. I was relieved to leave the first temp job because the work was so basic and boring - data entry. The second job was pretty much the same, but the people kept it interesting and it was so much closer to home. I felt sad when I left there.

I've been off for a month now and I love it. I can putter around the house, run errands, visit my mother, take my children to school, nap... It's nice. Of course the not-so-nice part is not bringing in an income. Things are getting tight. I'll try to find another short term placement for January once the kids go back to school but I'm finding it hard. I can't imagine anyone wants the responsibility of a pregnant person in their facility. I guess there is a liability thing or something. The earliest I can go on maternity leave is January 30th but then it takes time off the end of my leave. We'll see how things unfold.

Our baby is due March 26th, '08, just one day before Julie's 7th birthday. Actually, the true due date is either the 26th OR 27th, so we went with the 26th. Baby is measuring right on target and things are going well.

2007 brought many, many challenges to our family. Lots of pain and sadness, but with that strength and courage was born. We emerged together and strong. How I wish I could go into it here to relieve my heart of all these feelings and thoughts, but I can't. I am looking forward to a fresh new year.

It's good to be back.