I Need A Monkey

Every day, without fail, my mind drifts back to my time at the Women of Faith conference at the beginning of this month. I love that.

Even though I knew I couldn't possibly record every word spoken, I did write down as much as I could. I hoped that what I didn't get down on paper would somehow find it's place in my memory and I'd remember it in the moment I'd need it.

Dr. Henry Cloud, who wrote the book Boundaries, shared about a study he'd heard of on monkeys and stress. Apparently a single monkey was placed in a cage on it's own, and for a period of time the people conducting the study would do whatever they could to absolutely terrify and stress that poor little guy out. Noise, shaking the cage, whatever it took to get him good and scared.

When they were certain that the monkey was highly stressed and freaked out, they'd stop what they were doing and introduce one more monkey into the cage. Within minutes, that monkey calmed down by over 50%.

Within minutes.

He went on to talk about how just the act of being in a stressful situation with a buddy can cut your stress level in half. He said we should all have a monkey.

We should all have a monkey?

I thought about this for a moment. Who was my monkey? Who did I turn to when I was terrified and stressed out? Who calms me?

My first thoughts were Ian and my mom, but they'd be the first to tell me that it can't be them all the time, that I need a female friend to be able to go to when I needed support.

And you know what? I don't have one.

How sad is that??

I have serious issues with trust, and letting someone into my life - my heart - is next to impossible for me, and it takes forever. I've been burned many, many, times with friendships so I tend to just hold back now because it just hurts too much otherwise.

Yes, I know how lame that sounds.

I have been blessed with many people to love and who love me in return, but I don't have a monkey.

And I really want one.

Now I need to figure out to let my guard down and let people in. Ugh. Just the thought makes me itchy.

Very, very itchy.

How do I go about getting myself a monkey? I suppose I could scroll through my friends list on facebook and pick someone.

Or how about and ad on the board at the local grocery store?

Monkey needed. Must like to drink wine, laugh and be trustworthy.

Hmm. Needs a bit of work I suppose.

I could parlay this into a whole blog series entitled "Kate ~ Monkey Finder".

I'll let you know how things work out :-)

In the meantime, I'd love to hear about the monkeys in your life...

A Sweet Friend

I miss being at Women of Faith. It's so strange to state something like that and I'm not sure if I can explain it so that it makes sense.

I feel as though I walked into the weekend with raw and open wounds and this weekend was like salve, and my wounds started to heal a bit. But now, returning to "real life", I'm afraid that this new healing will be ripped away, exposing the wounds again.

Actually, I'm terrified of that. I want to remember every word I heard. I want to keep the safe feeling I had.

I keep reading and re-reading my notes from the weekend and listening to the Rejoice worship cd that I purchased, trying to keep my head back where it's been.

While there is much for me to still share with you, I can't wait any longer to tell you about a wonderful woman I got to meet on Saturday: Angie Smith from Bring The Rain. While I've been blessed to know Angie for some time now, seeing her face-to-face took things from an online friendship to making our friendship solid in my heart.

We'd been messaging each other on Friday trying to figure out when we could meet up in her schedule but weren't able to make it happen that day. It felt so weird to be so close yet not be able to see her. I'm a hugger and I was just itchin' to give that sweet girl a big squeeze.

I woke up on Saturday morning and decided to just let things be what they would be. If I was able to make it to her book signing, I would. But if I couldn't then I would have to be ok with that.

Jen and I arrived at the arena about five minutes after the session started. The worship team was singing and the place was full of energy. I was singing away when I saw a woman coming down the aisle looking for someone. Just as her eyes met mine I realized who it was.

It was Angie. And she was looking for me.

I started to make my way to the end of the aisle with a polite "excuse me, excuse me" but the closer I got to her it became more "move! move!"

My apologies to the woman on the aisle seat...her toes may never be the same again.

We hugged and hugged and who knows what either of us said because it was so loud but there she was. My heart was so touched that she would have left her spot on the Women of Faith porch to come and find me. Later on I would learn how she wasn't allowed to do that. She's a rule breaker, that one.

I looked forward to hearing her speak and while my heart just ached for her as she shared about the devastating loss of her precious Audrey, I was so encouraged by the depths of her faith. She owned that stage, making us all laugh and cry alongside her.

I decided that I would leave just before the conference ended and head upstairs to her signing table. I'd brought my copy of What Women Fear just in case. I was the fifth or sixth person in line and quickly learned that the line would be cut off at 20. Whew!

I'll admit, I did feel somewhat guilty for taking up a spot in that lineup, considering I already had a chance to meet her but I kept my mouth shut. I figured the Lord would forgive me!

The woman waiting in line behind me was a hard core Angie fan and was telling me facts about her like she was hosting a trivia contest. "Did you know..." and more "did you know..." It was more than a little creepy. Just sayin'.

Then it was my turn :-) We hugged and hugged some more, and again...who knows who said what because we were both talking over each other. Yes, people. She truly is as genuine and kind as she comes across on her blog. Even more so. And funny. I put my purse down and leaned on that table all comfortable-like as if we had all the time in the world.

Oh I saw you giving me the stink eye, Trivia-girl. I saw.

One of my big expressions is "pics or it didn't happen" so, here's my pic.



Just so you know, I told Angie I was going to blog about this and drop her name like a ton of bricks and she was a-ok with it. She told me if I didn't blog about us meeting then she was going to break into my blog and do it herself. Ha.

We hugged and hugged and then our time was over. I felt sad leaving. There was so much I wanted to say to her that our emails and tweets couldn't convey. I hope she felt them in my hugs.

I love you dearly, sweet Angie. I'm so glad we got to meet, and your inscription in my book was lovely.

And that concludes my name-dropping for today.

:-D

Women of Faith 2011

I am just coming off one of the best weekends of my life.

Of.my.life.

Where to start! At the beginning is always the best, so I'll just take you through my weekend. There is so much I want to tell you, but I'll give an overview for now so I don't overload you with a huge post.

Thursday afternoon, I picked up my sweet friend Jen to head off to Rochester NY. We left about 1:20pm and hit the border about a hour later. I felt such pride at handing over my spanking new passport. We made it to our hotel with no trouble, checked in and touched base with our husbands to let them know we arrived safely.

We headed out to locate the arena and the closest parking lot to it, then enjoyed dinner at Perkins, followed by visits to Target and Walmart. We were back in our hotel and in bed by about 11pm.

I woke up so excited on Friday morning I could barely stand it. We ate breakfast then drove over to the arena about a half hour before the doors opened. The energy in the Blue Cross Arena was off the charts! I could hardly sit still.

We heard from Sheila Walsh and Dr. Henry Cloud first. So many great takeaways from both speakers. I was taking as many notes as I could while trying to stay present in each moment. I was tweeting pics while they spoke and eventually had to stop because I was so caught up in what I was hearing.

When Sheila spoke, it was like she was speaking right into my heart. She encouraged us to live intentionally, to thank God while we're in the storm, not just once it's passed and for getting us through it. One of the many things she said that struck me was "You are not a victim. You are a daughter of the King! And that will never change." Wow!

She closed by singing Amazing Grace and it was absolutely beautiful.

Dr. Henry Cloud is the author of Boundaries and he was fantastic. He talked about what makes us happy, and necessary endings. Those things are a blog post all on their own! He told us that in order for God to get us from where we are to the Promised Land, it's going to hurt a little. We have to let go of where we are in order to go to where we are intended to be. Lots on that.

At the lunch break I was able to meet Cassandra who I met through my blog and we sat together for the rest of the session. Fun! I've mentioned before how I suck at small talk and get all rambly, and poor Cassandra had to endure that! Sorry friend! We did get to see each other a couple more times during the weekend and stayed in touch through Twitter.

The session ended around 3:30ish and Jen and I went back to the hotel to relax for a short bit then went to Appleby's for dinner. Lots of great conversation and great food. We returned to the arena for the evening session at 7pm.

Ken Davis had us in stitches and in tears. Utter brilliance. He shared a prayer that his granddaughter once prayed over him. "Dear God, Don't let my grandpa be afraid. Help him to think about rainbows and bunnies. Don't let him forget about Jesus." So simple, so sweet. A simple prayer I am sure I will say in those moments when I am too broken to form deeper thoughts. Don't let me be afraid. Don't let me forget about Jesus. Lots of great worship mixed in as well.

Saturday morning couldn't come fast enough. It was a full day of incredible speakers: Sheila Walsh, Luci Swindoll, Lisa Harper, Angie Smith (can't wait to tell you about her) and Nicole Johnson. As well as beautiful worship by the Women of Faith worship team, Natalie Grant and Mary Mary.

One of the high points of Women of Faith was when Sheila was sharing a tender moment spent with her dying mother in law, who believed that if it was Sheila that was sick, God would have healed her. Sheila reminded her of the song that her mother in law had sung to her grandson just that morning - Jesus Loves Me. And she began to sing it, and everyone in the arena joined in to sing with her.

8,000 Christian sisters all singing Jesus Loves Me as one. Can you imagine how beautiful that sounded? I turned around to look all around me and was overwhelmed. It was incredible. Jesus was with us in that arena. I felt it in my bones.

I heard things this weekend that my mind already knew. But for the first time in a very long time - if ever - my heart heard them. I felt so safe in that arena. So connected to His church. I felt almost afraid to leave when it was over. To return to the real world. Yet, I'm also excited to share with others what I experienced this weekend and to share the change that I can feel happening to my heart.

After a quick stop at the scariest pharmacy ever (I half expected my van to be stripped or to get stabbed) we were on our way home to our sweet families, hearts and minds full of God's truths and His love.

I wish I could find words strong enough to drive this home to each of you that are reading this: at some time in your life - the sooner the better! - attend this conference. They travel all across the US so there must be a location near to you. Bring a friend with you. The ticket price and time away from your family is worth it. YOU are worth it. Prepare to be changed forever.

**I was provided two free tickets by BookSneeze in return for two blog posts on this event. Thank you, BookSneeze, from the bottom of my heart!

Excitement, Gift Cards And My Pretty New Red Purse

I am SO excited for the Women of Faith conference in Rochester NY this weekend. So excited in fact, that I have given myself a headache.

I have so much to do before I leave my sweet family for these precious days so I'll make this post short and sweet.

Halloween went very well. Sam really enjoyed going out with his group of friends. Julie only did a bit of trick or treating and was content to walk along with me and return early to my mom's house to give out candy. Jordan was a machine... she just kept going and going and going. She did enter a few homes - six to be precise - all home-invasion style, looking for someone to give her candy. Embarrassing, yet sort of funny. She also fell six times.

Yes.... I kept a running tally of both.

We returned to my mom's house, thinking the night was over, but Jordan wanted to go out again, so we did. I have wonderful memories of my mother taking my sister and me out each year, letting us go and go and go until we decided we were done. There wasn't ever a time limit. I wanted to do that for my children as well. As we headed back to mom's, Jordan asked me to carry her. She buried her face in my neck and said "You're my superhero, Mommy."

Aww!

In other, unrelated information...

I am a gift card gal. I love gift cards. I know that some people think that they're impersonal but I love them. I also like to give them as well. It just makes it easier for the recipient to choose something they really love.

For me, I hoard my gift cards until just the right moment. It has to be something that I definitely, definitely want. And yesterday was just such a time. I was window shopping in the mall, looking for Christmas gift ideas when I saw it.

So pretty. So red. So impractical. So goes-with-nothing-I-own.

But I had to have it.



I whipped out my gift card from Christmas 2010 and used it.

I love it so much I wanted to tuck it into bed beside me last night. But I didn't, because I'm not that weird.

I also had a couple of gift cards for my favourite clothing store, so I brought my personal stylist, Julie, along with me to pick something out for the conference this weekend. According to Ian, I wear too much black, grey and navy, so he told Jules to make sure I stayed away from those colours.

That girl knows fashion. She's ten! She was putting things together that I never would have thought of and they looked so stylish. At one point we had about 30 pieces in our dressing room even though the sign said six only.

I despise shopping for myself on a level you can't even imagine. I don't like flashy, busy clothes so that eliminates a lot of choices. But my sweet girl found me something absolutely perfect. We texted a photo to Ian and he loved it too. I whipped out my gift cards and a coupon and we left quite pleased. Julie, because she had succeeded in her mission. Me, because I didn't have to pull my own eyes out, necessitating an ambulance to come and bust me out of the store.

I need to wrap this up so I can get everything done before I leave tomorrow. I'm hoping the arena has wi-fi because I'm planning on tweeting throughout the event. I'll try to tweet some pictures as well. If you're interested in hearing about the conference, feel free to follow my twitter feed right here. If that link doesn't work, look me up! I'm KatieB38.

Catch ya later!

I'm Really Going!

It's been a very exciting week for me, mail-wise.

On Monday my tickets arrived for the Women of Faith event in Rochester, NY next month!

I thought I was already excited about going.

And then I saw the seats.

FLOOR SEATS!

Now I'm really excited about going!

And then, just when I thought nothing could top my excitement... this arrived on Tuesday.



My picture is horrible but ohmygosh I have a passport!

I feel like fleeing the country! Oh, wait a minute... I will be next month. :-)

So it looks like I'm really going.

At the beginning of this year I prayed that God would open up a way for me to get to this event, knowing that it wasn't in the budget. And then this opportunity came along. Amazing.

Can it get better? YES. Because this morning I opened my email and had received a comment from a lovely woman who wanted to know if I had any plans to meet up with any of my readers while I'm in Rochester. WOW. I'd never even thought of that! Great idea, Cassandra :-)

So, if you will be attending the Women of Faith event in Rochester, let me know and maybe we can arrange to meet up!

Imagine!

Today I received some exciting news that has had me smiling all day.

I've been chosen to be a Women of Faith blogger and will be tweeting, facebooking and blogging live from the Women of Faith's Imagine conference in Rochester, NY this November!

I went to a Women of Faith conference in June '06 and the impact it had on my life was huge. I've been longing to go to another one but it just hasn't been possible.

Until now!

And if this alone wasn't exciting enough, I will also (hopefully!) get to meet a sweet blog friend, who is also a speaker for this event.

So, so, so excited!