Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

Father's Day is a bittersweet day for me.

When I was six years old, my dad moved out.

I was the only kid I knew that didn't have a dad living at home and for the first time in my life, I felt shame.

The kids on the street and at school were always asking me were my dad was, so I created a lie that he was a truck driver and was on the road for months and months at a time. I couldn't have them knowing that he didn't love me enough to stay with me.

Of course, just because he wasn't living at home with us didn't negate the love he felt for us....but try telling that to a little girl who believed with all of her heart that she wasn't good enough, and who would face a lifetime fighting against that inner voice that told her she just wasn't worth it.

I don't have memories of my father reading me bedtime stories, or tucking me in at night. I don't remember what it felt like to have my little hand tucked inside his big one. I don't remember what it felt like when he hugged me. I can't remember if he ever told me I was beautiful.

When I was 14, my father died suddenly. I never even got to say goodbye.

Oh Daddy... how I miss you. Even after all of these years, I miss you so much.

But the Lord is good. He sent me Ian.

I knew that Ian would be a wonderful father when I saw him with my 1 year old nephew for the first time. He was gentle, encouraging, loving and oh so fun.

Whenever we went anywhere, children would just gravitate to him. I don't think there is a child that has met Ian that hasn't loved him.

I can still remember how tiny Sam was when he was first born and he seemed even smaller in Ian's strong hands. He held him with such gentle care and I knew Sam would always be safe with him.

I remember the tears in his eyes when Julie was born. She was so small and delicate, and Ian held her so gently, as if she would break.

By the time Jordan arrived, I had had a front row seat to several years of watching Ian rocking the father role. I knew she would be well loved by him.

Like I said, I knew Ian would be a wonderful father, but he has exceeded my hopes, dreams and expectations in ways I can't find the words for.

He has coached little league baseball and soccer. He has kissed owies, and scared away monsters. He has played and encouraged and prayed over and loved these children.

Our Sam has grown into a kind and compassionate young boy under his father's loving care, and I know without a doubt that he will become a strong, compassionate and godly man. How could he not with Ian as his example?

Our girls, Julie and Jordan.... They are safe and secure in the knowledge that their father loves them. They know what it feels like to be told by their father that they are beautiful and worthy and delighted in.

Ian is tireless when it comes to loving on our children and he works so hard to provide for them, without a single complaint. He puts them before himself, so they always know they matter and are important.

He helps with school projects. He explains math. He builds bunk beds. He sources out the best video games. He brushes little girl hair. He taught Sam and Julie how to swim. He changes diapers. He blows bubbles. He shares his love for the Lord with them. He shares his beloved chicken wings. He cuddles them. He teaches the importance of laughter. He gives Sam girl advice. He reminds Julie that she will be a prize to the man she chooses to marry. He continues to take her to 3-D movies because he knows that one day she will overcome her fear and stay for the entire movie. He goes to Jordan during the night to soothe her when she has nightmares, even though he has to get up early to go to work. He hugs away the hurt when pets die.

He seldom says no. He spoils. He delights in his children and takes his role as father very seriously. He knows they are blessings from the Lord and he is committed to raising them up with a strong foundation in Christ. He encourages them to question what the Bible says, because he knows the answers are there.

Ian, I wish I had words to explain how you have healed the wounds in my heart, just by being such a loving father. Every time you hug them, or tell them you love them, or laugh with them, a piece of my heart is restored. I appreciate all that you do for us.

Thank you for being you, and for loving our children so well. You truly are the World's Greatest Dad, and we love you so much.



  1. I wish I could be there to give you a hug...and a cookie. And your husband sounds like the most wonderful father!!! Your kids are so lucky to have him...and YOU!

  2. Oh Kate...what a post. (sniff, sniff) You are so blessed with Ian, and he is so blessed with you. After everything the two of you have been through, I am amazed by your love and committment to one another.

    I am so sorry about your Dad. Know that I am with you today...I miss my Daddy too...but I had him until I was 34...I can't imagine your pain...even though he didn't have a chance to say it, I bet your Dad thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. I just betcha.

    I love you.

  3. Katie, that was beautiful! Your children are so blessed to have parents like you two. I love how date nights, have become family nights. How you described Ian's relationship with the kids, and how thankful you feel for being a SAHM. You two compliment each other and there is no doubt about the love you have for your children and each other. God bless you :) Happy Father's day Ian!!

  4. Wow - Now that is how you do Mr. Wonderful. Hands down winner you got there in Ian.
    I love you, girl! My heart aches for your pain, but rejoices in the awesome man you have!

  5. What a beautiful post! I hope that one day I will find a man just like Ian. Hugs to you!

  6. (((you))) I just love you! So sorry you had to endure those hard times but I am so glad you have been blessed with such a wonderful man to help restore all those broken pieces!

  7. This is a truly beautifully written tribute. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that you endured such pain throughout your childhood but having gone through what you did has made you a very compassionate woman.

  8. Wow, Kate! This is an amazing tribute to you Ian.

    I, too, had parent who divorced when I was young. And I'm so grateful my kids do not need to go through what I went through. It's not right.

  9. Oh my word. I could hardly read this through the tears in my eyes!!

    I love ya, Kate...what an amazing, wonderful tribute.

  10. What a beautiful piece to read. Despite the void of a Father in your young life, you have been blessed with such a loving and nuturing Father for your children. It's lovely to hear how much that touches you.

  11. Wow, what a wonderful post!! I have tears in my eyes. What an amazing husband you have, so happy for you! {{hugs}}

  12. Wow! Amazing post. You guys are so lucky to have him! Congrats on winning too!

  13. Congrats on winning!! You definitely have a winner :)

  14. Absolutely beautiful tribute to what sounds like an amazing man. :) You are very blessed indeed.

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  16. Absolutely beautiful tribute to what sounds like an amazing man. :) You are very blessed indeed.