Hanging On

I am happy to report that we're all healthy again. WHOO HOO! These last two weeks have been brutal. The children are back in the rhythm of school again and have gotten all caught up on all the work they missed when they were off for the week. Jordan has been sleeping through the night for the last two nights so she's well rested and happy again. Other than a few sniffles, Ian and I are back to normal. Well, normal for Ian and me anyway ;-)

Well, we've had a couple of days to get used to the disappointment about the job opportunity. But, it is what it is, and there is no point moaning and groaning over it. God's in charge and He has a plan. We just need to wait on Him.

Oh that is so easy to type, so hard to do sometimes. Is it completely wrong if I am secretly praying that this firm does a "Bachelor" and decides that Ian was who they wanted all along, and will dump the other dude any time now?

Even in the midst of my disappointment, fear, worry, etc... God has really shown me that He is with us. A few weekends ago I had really given into the aforementioned emotions and just wanted to lay down and kick my feet in the world's biggest temper tantrum. We've been here before, friends. Laid off, looking for work. I know how difficult this can get. Ian gave me a list of Bible verses for me to focus on, but I just buried the paper underneath a stack of things and tried to forget about them. But on a Sunday night, I pulled out my Bible and went looking for the verses. The first one was from James. I never got any further than that one on the list. I read all of James and when I was done I was crying.

I remember a woman at Coffee Hour that encouraged us to not just read God's promises, or to just memorize them, but to claim them. So, I did. I spent a lot of time talking to him that night, surrendering all my emotions.

The next day, Ian submitted his resume to a recruitment firm, then called in the afternoon to follow up. The woman started the usual "don't call us, we'll call you" that he's getting everywhere, but he managed to get her talking, and discussing his qualifications. She asked him to come downtown to meet with her the following morning.

The first thing she said when he walked in was "kudos for getting an interview". They had received 100+ resumes and were only going to interview six, and Ian was the sixth. It went really well, and she said they would be choosing three of the six candidates in a couple of days. She called him back at the end of the day saying she was fast tracking him to the final three and would meet with the client on the following Monday.

Monday came and he met with the client and it went extremely well. Instead of three people interviewing, there were four. Ian felt he presented well and presented everything he wanted to, and felt as though he had a good chance. The recruiter said they would know who had the job by Wednesday.

Thursday arrived and we still didn't know. Ian called her and they had narrowed the choices down even further, to two, and Ian was one of them. We called in everyone we could think of to pray for this. I can't tell you how many people we had praying.

Friday at 4:30 we learned that the job went to the other guy. Boo. She said it was an extremely hard decision for them to make, and that he presented very well.

I am so proud of you, Ian.

Here we are, at the front end of a recession and with 100+ people going for the same job and making it to the final two, it's almost as though God is reminding us that it doesn't matter what is happening, He can turn things around in a second. There were times when I was so overcome with fear and worry, and my mind would be racing to the point that I couldn't even focus on praying, and He spoke to my heart, reminding me to be still, and know that he is God. We have been stretched these last couple of weeks and it's far from over, but He can turn things around and open doors that we never imagined were there.

I think if one more person looks at me with pity and asks "How are you? No REALLY? How are you?" I'm going to pop them one. I know they mean well, it's just hard when person after person says the same thing. I can't tell you how I really am. I can't tell you all the bitter thoughts that are in my head right now. I can't tell you that I am so afraid of what the future holds that I have trouble sleeping at night. I can't tell you how sad I am that I will very likely have to return to work and that just looking for jobs steals my breath and makes my heart ache in a way it never has before. I can't tell you that it's hard looking at the pity and worry on your face and I just want to break down crying. What would it do to openly admit those feelings? So much easier to slap on a smile and tell you "Oh we're fine! God has a plan!"

And He does, my friends. He does.

Anyway...

I was very excited to learn today that Melissa from The Bachelor will be joining the celebrities on Dancing With The Stars starting tomorrow night. GO MELISSA GO!!

We've had some crazy weather this last week. One day it was 17 degrees! Of course, the very next day was below zero. Welcome to Ontario! If you don't like the current weather, just wait a minute for it to change again.

Ok. That's it for me today.