Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Oh My Ears

Do you know what this is?

I'll tell you exactly what it is.

At the moment, it's the bane of my existence.

Julie's lovely teacher has decided that they must learn this annoying little instrument. And they must learn it now.

I remember having to learn it in middle school and I hated every second of it. I never did learn how to play Three Blind Mice like my classmates did, thus setting the stage for a life filled with musical failure. I gave up trying to learn it and just moved my fingers and made a blowing face whenever my teacher looked in my direction.

The sound. Oh the sound...

It makes my ears bleed.

I want to break it in half and stab my ears with it.

I don't care how talented you are on a recorder - and I have yet to meet anyone who is - it does not sound pleasant. No one has ever said "Oh my! Now that man just sounds just lovely on that recorder!" No one. No where.

I prefer fingernails on a chalkboard, or children's whining to this sound.

I hate it even more than the sound of bagpipes. And I really, really, really, hate bagpipes.

I made my mom and Ian promise not to play bagpipes at my funeral. I need to add a No Recorder Either clause in my will as well, I think.

Pray for me. Pray for my ears. But most of all, pray that this music unit ends soon so I can bury this annoying little noisemaker in someone else's backyard.





    Lord help us all. Really, I think it's the teacher's way of getting back at the parents. Kind of, "I put up with this crap all day...SO TAKE THIS." The teachers prolly all sit at home laughing, knowing the pain they are inflicting on us.

    Death to recorders.

  2. At our school's open house last night, I was asking the teacher when the recorder is introduced. I'm fortunate that I have 2 more years before that incessant noise enters my home, and then not again until Marcus is in Gr 3.

    I suggest you buy the best pair of earplugs ever - you've got two more children to go through this phase of school!