Monday, February 04, 2008

More Ramblings

Today was a good day. Ian dropped the kids and me off at my mom's for breakfast and then we took them to school. We then picked up coffee and muffins and headed back to my mom's to visit. I love being over there. We talk and talk and talk and never run out of things to say. After lunch we both had naps and then went to pick up the kids after school.

Friday was the kids last day at PLASP (Peel Lunch And After School Program) but it was a snow day so the schools were closed. They were so bummed because all the kids had been working on things for a medieval battle they were going to have on Feb 1. The PLASP director is going to have the kids do their battle on Wednesday so my two can participate and I can watch them too.

Ian and I bought tons of craft kits and supplies for the kids to keep them busy when they come home from school and today we painted piggy banks. I am SO NOT a craft-sy person but I had so much fun with them! We talked about all sorts of stuff while we painted and ate freshly baked chocolate chip cookies with big glasses of milk. I was so into the time with the children that I completely forgot to start dinner!

I'm starting to get a bit nervous about the baby. I still haven't cleared out the spot for her crib and I haven't gone through all my stuff to see what I have and what I need. It's like I'm in complete denial or something. Time is ticking and I'm not ready. I keep telling people how I'm not ready.... yet I still fail to do anything towards getting ready! LOL. She has been kicking me all day. Poor little lamb is running out of space.

My sister doesn't know I am pregnant. We haven't spoken since Christmas of 2006. I decided that since she didn't want me in her life (what she said was along the lines of me being dead to her) I wasn't going to tell her about the baby. Well... here we are with her birth around the corner and I feel bad for not letting anyone tell her. Part of me thinks she will be very hurt that no one told her, but the other part thinks she just won't even care. That's the part that makes me sad. She wasn't very supportive of me during my other pregnancies and that took a bit of the shine off when your own sister isn't happy for you. She has done a lot of hurtful things to me in my life and I have never retaliated. This is the first time that I have done anything like this (mean? petty?) and it doesn't feel good. Not at all. I am not a mean person.

I've had a lot of mean or selfish relationships in my life and I am at the point where I just don't have any room for them in my life anymore. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's my age, maybe I've just reached my limit. I don't know. These days I am surrounding myself with friends who truly love me - the bad with the good - and who believe in me and support me. I give a lot of myself to my friendships. I try to encourage and nurture and support and love. While I believe that you get out of friendships what you put in - for the most part - sometimes that just isn't the way. I try not to be at odds with people. I have started to distance myself from the "takers" in my life. They take so much from me.

The kids have an early release day tomorrow. We never had those back in the day. We're going to make snowmen in my mom's backyard I think. We have two in our front yard and someone stole the black top hat the kids put on Frosty. So annoying.

Ramble....ramble....ramble. It's ok... it's my blog :-)

1 comment:

  1. I think those early release days are just an excuse for the teachers to go to the bar! ha ha!!!