My Wish List

You know what gets me? People who win the lottery and have no idea what they'll do with the money. When they are asked what they'll do with the money they inevitably say "I have no idea!!"

!!!

Friends, I have an idea. Several in fact. Sometimes when I can't fall asleep I will visit my wish list. It goes a little something like this..

I would...

...fill a struggling family's fridge...



...pay off the mortgage on my church...



...take my family and friends to Montego Bay Jamaica...



...buy all new pillows...



...take Ballroom dancing lessons with Ian...



...spoil myself with a Coach bag...



..a girl needs chocolate...



...I'd have more babies! (Did y'all hear Ian hit the floor?)



...we'll need a bigger house with all those babies...



..and a new ride for Mom...



..and to round out our family...



Isn't it fun to dream?

What's on your wish list?

Another Weekend Over

Another weekend down.

Why oh why do they have to pass so quickly?

Yesterday began with dramatic flair. Jordan was walking around our main level while I was filling her sippy cups in the kitchen. We had the stairs blocked off with a baby gate but She-ra Jordan just plowed right into it and fell down the entire flight of stairs.

13 steps, I believe.

Pass me the Worst Mother of the Year Award, if you please.

Ian was down those stairs faster than you can imagine. As soon as I realized she was falling I bolted from the kitchen and ran down the steps. Poor little lamb. She was scared more than anything. I held her while Ian put ice on the goose egg that was coming up on her forehead. Today she is no worse for the wear.

Honestly. There is always something going on in my house.

After that drama, Ian and I headed off to the magic shop with the children so that Ian could pick up some supplies for a booking he had this afternoon.

Did I ever tell you that Ian is a professional magician? Well he is and he's brilliant.

I enjoy going to the magic shop and the owner is always so friendly and quick to show me a new trick or two. The children love it too. Afterwards, I took Sam and Jules to see "Up" at the theatre. Sam was happy that I was taking them because he said we haven't been spending much time together since I went back to work.

Ouch.

It was nice to focus on the older children without being distracted by Jordan's needs or overall adorableness. It was a cute movie. Well, at least the parts I saw were cute. I fell asleep during it. In my defense it was dark in there...and the seats kind of reclined back a little...and I was tired (as usual) and...and...well it was a long movie.

In the evening Jordan and I walked outside together. She looked so cute in her new sundress and running shoes. She's Miss Independent and doesn't want any help while she walks. She's hardly eating anything these days. I don't know how she's surviving. She'll eat applesauce and yogurt but that's about all.

Today we skipped church and hung around the house. Jen stopped by to pick something up and we sat on my front porch talking for a bit. I haven't been getting together with her for over a month now. I miss her. Afterwards, Ian dropped us off at my mom's to visit while he headed off to do his show. It was a good visit, but as usual it went by too quickly. I miss her so much.

So here it is, Sunday night already. I feel so restless and I can't pinpoint why. I am struggling with my own wants, yet trying to be patient and trusting the Lord. I'm so human and I want what I want, when I want it.

Sigh.

Aren't we all a little like that?

Ahh well. Things are as they are.

Better get to bed. 6 am comes pretty fast.

Just A Few Things

Jordan has croup again, poor little miss. She feels so lousy and has been so fussy. Nothing is making her feel better. The last two nights have been brutal for Ian and he's feeling pretty run down. Good thing its almost the weekend so I can pitch in more and he can catch up on his rest.

Sam came home sick from school this morning. He said he laid down at 11am and the next thing he knew it was 1pm. Ian and I spent some time helping him plan his upcoming birthday party. I think he's decided to have a pool party.

Julie has certainly given new meaning to the term "Drama Queen" this week. She is "in love" with a boy in her class and didn't appreciate us telling her she wasn't allowed to have boyfriends. It's a great story and one I will save for a time when I have more energy to share it.

I saw my doctor this week to discuss my constant fatigue. He sent me for blood work but I haven't heard anything, so no news is good news. Apparently I have to just endure it.

Sigh.

I'd get a second opinion but I'm too tired.

Work continues to be incredibly busy. I still don't know how long I'm there for but that's ok. It's year end this month, so I'm sure I'll be let go after that. I feel good about what I've accomplished there, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to being at home again.

Last week I reconnected with a woman I was very good friends with back in my teens. She's married with two adorable little boys and we've been having a fun time getting reacquainted with each other. I'm hoping to get together with her sometime soon.

Today I had an M&M Frosty at work. Oh how I've missed those Frostys... It was so good.

I felt rather cheeky this evening as I did my grocery shopping at Fortinos with my recyclable A&P bags prominently displayed in my shopping cart.

:-)

And my ice cream was melting so I put it back and took a new one 'cuz that's how I roll.

That's it for me. Over and out.

Untitled For Lack Of Creativity

Lately it seems as though I've lost the blogging bug. I don't have anything earth shatteringly important to share these days, but I guess "no news is good news", right?

Yesterday Ian and I attended a memorial for a dear man from our church that passed away. He was 92 years old and lived such a life of deep faith and love for Jesus, that we can't be sad that he is gone - he is in the presence of the Lord! It was a lovely time of worship, prayer, and funny stories.

Gary came over in the late afternoon and he and Ian worked on our front yard and it looks so much better. Our children helped out and before they knew it the neighbourhood children were pitching in to help. Sweet.

Today was our church picnic and it was a lovely time. Everyone brought a salad or dessert and we had a wonderful time of fellowship while the children played and some caught frogs. (FYI frogs are really ugly when they are up close and personal) My children were absolutely filthy.

I enjoyed catching up with my dear friend Marie who I met at Coffee Hour. I knew I was missing her, but I didn't realize how much until I saw her. She is so kind, gentle and funny.

Tomorrow I have a credit meeting at 9am. I hate those meetings and I actually get quite stressed out by them. Hopefully this one will be short and sweet. I have been there 7 weeks now. I can't believe it.

I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow night after work. I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I'm still so tired all the time. I get up every day at 6am and I am in bed most nights by 930, so I shouldn't be this tired. I am sure I have mono or lupus or something worse. I just don't feel "right". Maybe its all in my head. Well, I guess I'll know soon enough.

That's it for me tonight...

High Drama In The Neighbourhood

It isn't out of the ordinary to see a police car on my street. There's always something going on in my neighbourhood. Back when my friend Anne and her family lived here, she'd keep me in the know on what happened on her side and I kept her in the know as to what happened on mine.

Anne lived on the side with all the drama. My side is pretty quiet. Well, not tonight however.

The children were outside playing with all of their friends when Sam rushing in to tell me that two of their friends were arguing - we'll call them "Bill" and "Bob" for the sake of this retelling - when "Bob's" dad came out and grabbed "Bill" with one hand and back handed him across the mouth with the other.

Oh no he di-ent.

Oh yes... he did.

Two police cars and an ambulance arrived and the street became a flurry of activity.

Now you know I went out to see what was going on. The children in this neighbourhood are forever in my backyard or on my porch - even when my own children are inside! - and I have grown fond of them. That, and I am incredibly nosey.

I did get to meet a new neighbour :-) And she has a little boy a few months older than Jordan.

I saw "Bob" and he was walking fine and smiling a little at all the attention, and they put him in the ambulance to take to the hospital. Protocol, I guess. I felt sad because no one went with him for the ride to the hospital. His mother followed with their van. I hope he wasn't scared being by himself :-(

So while I was spying making new friends, I saw the police walk to "Bob's" dad's house. By then my spying friend-making was looking a little like friend-making, so I made my way home. Sam came in to tell me that the police took "Bob's" dad away in one of the police cruisers.

Shameful.

The children are very upset at what has happened and very worried for their friend. I cautioned them that the other children might ostracize "Bob" a little because of what his dad did. I said that this would be a great opportunity to show Christ's love toward "Bob" and the other children will follow.

I also said stay the hell heck away from "Bob's" dad.

In other news, all of the grocery stores in my area - and probably the world - have begun charging for plastic bags. Ugh. I refuse to pay 5 cents for a bag! Now I have nothing to put my garbage in. Frustrating. I have a whack of reusable bags that I can't seem to remember to leave in the car.

I think they've now hired a new collector for the Kingston location. I'm sad at this placement coming to an end, but happy too, because I'd like to spend a little time at home with the kids over the summer. Whatever happens, I know God's got me.

Beginning of the end...

Today a part of my job was transferred to Kingston.

Sigh.

I feel sad because I know that my time with the company is drawing to a close.

I know what you are thinking... I fought going back to work, and I was feeling so overwhelmed, etc...

You're right.

Once again, God knew what was best for me. He provided this great job for me, with great people and allowed me to see and enjoy the fruits of my labour. I've been able to see a side of myself that I thought I'd forgotten in my stay-at-home life. Even the drive there is peaceful and lovely.

I will miss this job and the people.

I wonder what God has next for me?

Hanging Out

That's what I'm doing right now.

Ian is at the Youth Banquet tonight and the children and I are hanging out in the living room together. Sam is playing with his DS and Julie & Jordan are watching Imagination Movers. We are feeling so lazy and just enjoying being together.

This week was another busy one. So much to do and not enough time to get everything done. Meetings and interruptions...ugh...they're endless. I have an A/R meeting every Friday morning at 9am and the stress I feel while preparing for it and being in it is unbelievable. I felt so incredibly relieved when it was over. I know I'm just a temp but I really want to do a good job. Who knows where this could lead - maybe a permanent position or even just a great reference out of it. I've made some great new friends. We laugh until the tears run down our faces at least once a day. God really put me in a great spot.

Last night was Family Night and instead of Ian driving over to pick up our pizza, he and I walked over with the girls while Sam stayed behind with his friends. We popped into Second Cup for strawberry smoothies, grabbed the pizza and made it home just before the sky opened up and poured rain. Peter Pan was the feature for the evening, and true to form, I fell asleep during it. I don't think I've ever seen that movie in its entirety. I was in bed by 9:20pm and woke up at 8:30am. Sweet.

Today we all headed over to my Mom's so that Ian could repair the tree house in her backyard. Ian built it 13 years ago for our nephew and it needed some repairs badly. The children helped him outside while I visited with my mom and sister inside.

Tomorrow will consist of church, laundry and school projects. The weekends go by entirely too quickly, don't they?

Cake? Kate! Cake?

Yesterday I was going through my collection calls and spoke with someone who just could not get my name right. It went something like this:

Him: What your name?

Me: Kate

Him: Cake?

Me: No, Kate

Him: Cake?

Me. NO. Kate. K-a-t-e

Him: Ohh ok. Ok so anyway, Cake...

Sigh.

One of my last calls of the day was a really, really hard one. Obviously I cannot - and will not - go into details here, but I had to call a client and give him news that he wasn't going to like. I was given a directive to do so from the manager so I didn't have a choice and I was putting it off for a week... This guy was angry right off the bat when I identified myself and it just escalated from there. I have taken seminars and courses on how to deal with irate customers, difficult people and a few customer service courses as well. Nothing could diffuse this guy, so I just let him yell and swear. I couldn't get a word in edgewise with him. I completely understood - and agreed with - his position but there wasn't really anything I could do. I don't think I've ever felt so lousy about my line of work as I did yesterday. And no matter what, I couldn't shake it.

Today the manager told me we would hold to our original agreement. Now I have to call this guy back to tell him that we will keep things as they are, and I just know he's going to get upset again and ask why I bothered calling to begin with.

Sigh.

Poor, poor Cake....

Hello, My Name Is Kate And I'm The Biggest Pushover EVER

Yesterday Ian released Linda, the wild bird that Sam, Julie and the neighbourhood children collectively kidnapped rescued and begged me to let them keep. Ian headed out to the ravine and found a tree with a hollowed out spot in the trunk, made a comfy little nest and left Linda there. The children were so heartbroken.

Long story short - mainly because the details of this little negotiation have become somewhat disputed - we bought this for the children...



I know what you're thinking. We spoil our children.

I agree.

We could have used this experience as a key learning about the circle of life/can't always get what you want/whatever you want to put in here.

And I agree.

We already have a cat, a hamster and two guinea pigs.

Still... I caved.

Her name is Magic and she's a Budgie. Apparently she can be trained to fly only to certain spots and return to her cage, as well as say a few words.

I'll believe that when I see it.

Yes, I truly am the biggest pushover ever.

For The Love Of Pete...What A Week

I have no problem admitting that I am glad this week is over.

Wednesday was a terrible day. Just terrible.

Last week I was asked to help call some customers to advise them of any changes to their delivery days and times. Doing so caused me to fall behind, but it was high priority to the company and another woman was pulled from her duties to do the same. All in all, we spent 4 days out of 5 calling customers. We thought we were done and this week - a short week, no less - we set out to get ourselves caught up.

Then...Wednesday arrived.

Along comes the salesman to ask me to call the newly re-routed re-routes. I was told that the customers "might get a little upset".

That, my friends, was the understatement of the century. Irate would be a little closer.

My third call went from calm and friendly to off-the-charts irate in a split second. Never in my entire career have I ever been spoken to this way. I am not a wimp and I can take (and dish) a lot if needed, but this was unlike anything I've ever encountered. My eyes were burning and my cheeks were so flushed. It was all I could do not to slam the phone down in this guy's ear. The language - oh sweet mercy. That man's mama should wash his filthy mouth out.

I was emotionally spent by the time I got home and sat in my beloved recliner with a black cloud hovering over my head. I watched the American Idol finale (AWESOME) and headed up to bed.

About 11:30 I was woken up by Jordan coughing. I knew Ian was still downstairs with her, so I stayed in bed. Then I heard what sounded like choking and hurried downstairs to find Ian sitting on the floor with Jordan, patting her back. She seemed to be gasping for air and was crying so hard, coughing and choking. I ran for the phone and he called 911.

I sat with her on my lap while we waited for them to arrive. Then I realized I was...ahem...hardly dressed appropriately. I will spare you the details of me and my lingerie. I asked Ian to grab my robe for me before the paramedics came, thinking he'd bring me my fuzzy pink one. No. He brought the one that went with my nightie.

Sigh.

Within minutes my living room was filled with firemen and paramedics, and me with my hardly-appropriate-for-company nightgown. As soon as Jordan coughed, they all nodded to one another and said "Croup!"

They gave her a mask that forced ice cold mist into her nose and suggested I get dressed and pack a bag for her for the hospital. I called my mother while I dressed to let her know what was going on, because let's face it, mom's make everything seem better.

The ride to the hospital was uneventful. I sat in the back with Jordan and held the mask to her face while talking and joking with one of the medics. He was a really charming guy and I knew his entire life story by the time we got to the hospital.

One of the nurses on duty is the sister of a friend of mine, so she bumped our chart so we'd be seen by a doctor sooner. I was so grateful. A nurse gave her a treatment of Ventolin which Jordan hated. I had to hold her arms and head just so we could give it to her. My heart just broke. Finally she went limp against me and just took it. She was also given a dose of Prednisone. She curled up in my arms and fell asleep. I sat next to her and watched her. All night.

The morning brought another Ventolin mask and we were discharged just before 8am. I took her to the Tim Horton's kiosk just outside of Emergency and bought her a couple of timbits to eat while I enjoyed a Steeped Tea. We both slept all morning once we got home.

I was worried about how she would do last night but she was perfectly fine. The children had appointments to get their vaccinations today, and I called to see if Dr L could see Jordan too, just to check her out. He said all of our children are perfect and perfectly healthy.

In other news...

My placement will go for "three, maybe four more weeks". I guess this position is definitely going to Kingston. I'm trusting that God has everything worked out for what comes next. I'm going to enjoy the time I have left with my coworkers. They're so great. Today I went out for lunch with *A* and she said "everyone is so much closer since you arrived". I think that's the best compliment I've received from that place, and there's been quite a few.

Sam, Jules and the neighbourhood kids found a bird tonight, and they all begged me to keep the bird in our house.

!!!

I refused to allow them to bring the bird inside so Sam got out his old hamster cage and they made a bed for Linda (yes they named it). She is currently in her newly appointed condo, in the backyard, underneath my patio table, covered by the bbq cover. Ian had a long circle-of-life chat with Sam and Linda will be released into the ravine tomorrow.

Like I said... For the love of pete...what a week.

80 Things

I spent all last night in the ER with Jordan and while I'll post about it eventually, I'm just too tired and freaked out to do it now. She has croup and is fine for now. Please keep her in your prayers as we don't know what to expect tonight.

In the meantime...

80 Things You Didn't Know About Me Until You Read This:

Here we go...

1, What Color Is Your Toothbrush?
Yellow

2, Name One Person That Made You Smile Today?
Jordan

3, What Were You Doing At 8 Am This Morning?
Waiting for Ian to arrive to take Jordan and me home from the hospital

4, What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?
Watching the finale of Desperate Housewives that I'd taped from Sunday night

5, What Is Your Favorite Candy ?
M&Ms

6.Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yep, a few times

7, What Is The Last Thing You Said Aloud?
"Yes" to Ian

8, What Is The Best Ice Cream Flavour?
Cookies 'n Creme, Bryers

9, What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink?
Passion Fruit punch

10, What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?
26 hours

11, Have You Ever Made A Promise You Swore To Keep?
Yes, and I did

12, Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week?
No

13, The Last Sporting Event You Watched?
I don't watch sporting events

14, What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?
Plain

15, Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message To On Facebook?
Amanda

16, Ever Go Camping?
Yes

17, Take vitamins daily?
No. They are placebos in my opinion

18, Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?
Yes

19, Do You Have A Tan?
Nope. I'll be as white in September as I am in May. I don't have time or patience for tanning

20, Do You Like Chinese Food Over Pizza?
Yes!

21, Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw?
Yes because there are cooties on the can

22, Who was the last person you talked to on MSN?
Either Jen or Amanda

23, What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Working

24, Where Is Your Dad?
Heaven

25, Look To Your Left, What Do You See?
Jordan's crib

26, What Color Is Your Watch?
I don't wear one

27, What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?
Kangaroos

28, What Is Your Birthstone?
Garnet

29, Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?
Drive Thru

30, What Is Your Favorite Number?
7

31, Who's The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
My Mom

32, Any Plans Today?
Catching up on my sleep

34, Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now?
That things aren't as I want them to be, and that my eyes aren't as focused on God's will for my life as they should be

35, Last Song Listened to?
The theme song for Disney's Imagination Movers

36, Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards?
Should the question be "why would I want to?"

37, Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House?
No

38, Favorite Pair Of Shoes/Boots You Wear All The Time?
No

39, Are You Jealous Of Anyone?
No

40, Is Anyone Jealous Of You?
maybe

41. Do you love anyone?
Yes

42, Do Any Of Your Friends have Children
Yes

43, What Do You Usually Do During The Day?
Working

44, Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?
No

45, Do You Use The Word 'hello' Daily?
Yes

48, Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
No

49.Where did you get your worst scar from?
Surgery

51, Last Cd You Listened To?
I don't listen to cds. I'm a radio kind of gal

53, Last Time You Cried?
Last night

54, Last Meal?
Sandwich

58, Have You Ever Lost Someone?
Yes

59, Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm?
Yes but it's been awhile. Now if I sleep longer than 9am I think I've wasted half my day

61, List Five People You Can Tell Pretty Much Anything To:
This list would have been different a few weeks ago.. but I'll go with Ian, Mom, Jen G, Linda and...and.... ok I only have 4.

62, List Three Favorite Colors/shades:
Purple
Orange
Yellow

63, Have you ever laughed until you cried?
Yes - pretty much every day with my coworker. What a blessing she is

64, Went Behind Your Parents Back?
Way back in the day and not that often

65, Who Posted This Before You?
I stole it from Brittni from Facebook ( I love Facebook )

66, Support Gay Marriage?
No.

67, Lowering The Drinking Age?
I'd like to see it raised to 21

** hmm...wonder which one I'll get flamed for most - #66 or #67?? **

69, Who are the best huggers that you know of?
Ian

70, Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?
Absolutely

71, Is There Something you want to tell someone?
Yes, but some things are better left unsaid

74, How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?
I have 3, but I've always been open to as many as God gives me

75, Do You Want To Change Your Name?
No, I'm definitely a "Kate"

76, Last Time You Saw Your Father?
23 years ago

77, What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
I didn't! I was up all night and went to sleep at 9am until 1. Ok, so it was 1pm. HEY! I slept until 1pm! Guess it wasn't so long ago after all...

78, What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night?
Cuddling my beautiful Jordan in the ER

79, What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room?
My bed

80.Where is your best friend right now?
In the backyard, BBQing my burger

There you have it. Crucial information about me! Feel free to put this on your blog. If you do, leave me a comment and link so I can pop by and learn more about you :-)

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Pictures

Me and my lovely girls...



Jordan trying to be like her big brother Sam...



My three beautiful blessings...

Long Weekend & Pictures Not From The Long Weekend

I have loved being at home with my family this weekend and as usual, its passing by much too quickly. Julie was thrilled to find out that I didn't have to go to work today.

I was pretty thrilled to be able to stay home as well :-)

Saturday Ian took Sam and our nephew out to see Wolverine at the movies and Jules and I began our UNO Marathon Tournament. Score as of Sunday am: Kate 174 / Jules 172.

Yesterday we went to church then headed up north to my in laws for a visit and dinner. Ian and I left the children with his parents and we headed into town to check things out. We hit the local Dairy Queen (Reece's Pieces Blizzard = yum!) and popped into their Zellers.

The BIGGEST news of the weekend is that Jordan is WALKING! And she's brilliant at it, of course. She has been taking 2 or 3 small steps lately but yesterday she just took off and I counted 16 steps in a row.

And I didn't cry.

Can you believe that? My little baby is growing up so fast and I'm enjoying her milestones instead of crying about them.

Oh yes friends, there's hope for me yet.

She resembles Frankenstein a little bit when she walks because she does it with her arms stretched out in front of her. It's so cute to see her little face so excited.

Just as we were heading out the door to drive to Ian's parents' house, I happened to look at Sam's socks. They were absolutely filthy, probably because he's insisted on wearing the same pair all week. I don't know if they are his favourites or something, but I asked him to change them for the sake of his grandparents. He grabbed a freshly laundered pair and said he'd put them on in the car.

While we were visiting, I thanked him for changing his socks. He grinned mischievously at me and said "I never said I'd change them, Mom. I said I'd put them on. And I did... over top of my other ones!"

For the love of pete. He did say it that way too.

Little boys. How can you not just love them to bits??

I can't talk too much today because its a beautiful day and we're heading out to the park with the children.

So, I'll close with some pics of my route to work. Oh you know you wanted to see them, so here they are!

Cruising through Cow Country...



No traffic...



A very quick and pleasant trip...



Along the way I do encounter some weirdness such as this mannequin that sits on someone's front porch. I don't know why its there or what purpose its serving, but it's creepy with a capital C.



This is a mansion that is being built in the midst of a lot of teeny tiny houses. Honestly... such excess. Who needs a house this big???



And my workspace...



This really is a great job. It's challenging and hard, and certainly the fastest paced job I've ever had, but the support and respect I get is really appreciated.

We had a hail storm recently and apparently I'm the last blogger to post her pics! I couldn't remember ever seeing hail before, so we all headed out to the front porch to check it out.

Here is my extremely manly husband, proudly sporting his daughter's pink Barbie umbrella...



... so he could go out and get me this!



Very cool.

That's it for now. We're heading out to enjoy this beautiful day at the park!

Checking In

Sorry for my absence this last week or so. I'm in a bit of a slump these days but I'm hanging on. Lots of things going on at once that I'm trying to work through.

I'm still working. They really like me there and they are full of praise and compliments for me and the work I've done so far. I've just wrapped up week 4 and going strong. I'm busting my butt trying to make my mark (so to speak) so that if something permanent becomes available they will consider offering it to me. I'm mentally exhausted by the time I get home every night. It's a challenging position that's for sure.

Girls Club is now over for the summer. We had a Mother/Daughter BBQ last night and it was so much fun. Jules and I want to continue to do something special each Thursday night so we stay connected. I want to take her on a Mother/Daughter camping trip. I don't know how to set up a tent or start a fire or protect us from wild animals.... but we'll have a terrific time together anyway.

I had my hair done last Saturday (glorious!) and the girls at Girls Club noticed right away. They said my hair looked so nice now that it was all one colour. Ha ha.. I guess my roots were way over due... Love their honesty!

Have you seen this commercial? It makes me laugh every time I see it.



LOST wrapped up this week with a fairly good season finale. And Grey's! Oh sweet mercy - what a cliff hanger! Don't die on us George!!

Next week is the finals for Dancing With The Stars. Sigh. I will need a new show! Good thing The Bachelorette starts up on Monday.

What's that? I wasn't ever going to watch this show again? Yes... I did say something about that, didn't I? Well, it's like this... The Bachelorette...see, she's Canadian and I really should watch, just so I can, you know, support a fellow Canadian.

That's it for me today.

Overwhelmed

I think that's the word I'm looking for.

I'm overwhelmed by this job and the expectations and responsibilities that come with it. It's not that I can't do it, its just that I'm overwhelmed by it.

The workload...the meetings...trying to learn and absorb and adapt and impress...the creepy cookie baking perv who turns every conversation into something sexual...

I am overwhelmed.

I'm overwhelmed by my emotions. I'm up and down, here and there. I laugh and smile, but sadness is underneath it all. I am not where I want to be. Maybe I'm where God needs me to be, but I'm not where I want to be.

And it sucks.

This is the part where I should cheerfully say "I'm grateful for a job!"

But I don't feel like saying it tonight.

(Even though it's true.)

:-(

Sunday Night Again

Sunday night already...

I had a wonderful weekend with Ian and the children and it was all that I was hoping for. I was even able to visit with my mom yesterday and we went over for a lovely dinner tonight.

I think I need to re-evaluate my no-socks-with-sandals rule after seeing some dude in sandals with the longest toenails I have ever seen in my life. And they were yellow and they kind of curled a bit.

Shudder.

My "Irritation Level" was off the charts today. I felt as though everywhere I went there was chaos. Ian sent me upstairs for a nap to try to settle myself a bit. Naps are always a good thing.

Back to the grind tomorrow with lots to do. I'd better get to bed.

I'm Follow-Worthy!

Many thanks to Dawn for choosing my blog for her Follow Me Friday award!



Thanks Dawn :-)

Catching Up...

Just a short, drive-by kind of post...

I am alive and well and working hard. My temp placement was supposed to only be for two weeks ending tomorrow, but I was told that it now has an indefinite end date. That could mean another week or two, or longer. While I'm grateful for the opportunity I still miss being at home so much it hurts. It's a good place to work and the people are so nice and helpful. The workload is very heavy but I'm getting used to it. This week was easier than last week which is good.

I think we have a few jokesters at this company. Someone had their jeep wrapped up in some kind of industrial strength cellophane today. I would have loved to have seen their face when they saw their car!

Tuesday evening I met up with some ladies to celebrate my friend's 50th birthday. I haven't seen this group of women in awhile so it was nice to catch up with them. I stayed out longer than I intended but I was having such a good time that I couldn't pull myself away.

Last night I was on my way home and was waiting at a red light when two boys who were on the sidewalk broke into a dance routine. It was fun to watch and certainly passed the time! I clapped for them and they bowed and smiled.

Last night I met up with Cindy to see "Obsessed" at the theatre. I enjoyed it and loved that Cindy came even though she had seen it the night before.

No girls club for me tonight. Ian has a meeting at the church so I'm home with the children.

It's only 7:40 and I'm ready for bed already.

*Shudder*

It's only the end of April and I saw it already.

Socks with sandals.

!!!

Come on people. If you want to wear sandals then you have to lose the socks. There is no where you can go on this planet where that look is going to fly.

For the love of pete.

Catch Up

Well this had to be the fastest weekend on record.

Let's back up a bit, shall we?

Thursday night was Girls Club as usual and the theme for the evening was a Birthday Party! We had games and loot bags and balloons...cake and treats... such fun. Instead of celebrating birthdays as they come along, we decided to celebrate everyone's on the same night. It was also Crazy Hair Night as well. Lots of spray coloured hair, funky styles and creative accessories.

Only a few weeks left before we end for the summer. Oh how I will miss these girls. I have seen so many of them transform before my eyes and its been such a beautiful blessing to have served in this ministry.

(Julie, you told me I would love this and be richly blessed and you were right!)

I've completed week one of my temp placement. I have to say, God could not have placed me in a better company. The people are so nice, the job is challenging and the days pass quickly. I think I have a fairly good grasp of what is going on and have been able to solve a couple of outstanding issues already. I've been given a lot of praise and compliments so that makes me feel good. I will be sad to go next Friday. This position is eventually moving to Kingston so there isn't a chance for permanent placement.

As grateful and as great as this job is, the adjustment has been extremely difficult for me. I miss being at home. I miss seeing the children off to school and welcoming them home again. I miss taking care of the baby all day. I miss making Ian's lunch. I miss being able to visit with my mom. I felt physically sick on Thursday because I missed those things so much. I ended up crying all the way home.

Whine much, Kate?

It's such a weird feeling. I don't feel as though I belong in the working world anymore. And I feel out of place at home too. I am out of the loop with the day to day things with the children and because I am so exhausted at night, I am in bed early, so no real time to catch up with Ian. I don't know...it's hard to explain.

I am sure there are more then one of you out there reading this thinking "Suck it up Kate... we all have to work..." and you know what? You're absolutely right. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time. I just am.

Still, going out to work everyday and missing my husband and children is better than sitting at home, agonizing about how we're going to pay our mortgage. Jobs are scarce and I believe me when I say I am grateful for this work.

I'm just tired of everything. I'm going to try to get in to see my Doctor in the next day or two because I can feel myself getting depressed and I need to do something to control it before it gets out of hand. I've been trying but I can't do it by myself. My moods are all over the place, I'm sleeping too much, I find myself wanting to be alone more and more and my thoughts are scattered and going in directions that are dangerous. I cry a lot. A lot. While I hate the thoughts of having to take medication and have all my emotions stifled, I don't see any other way right now.

I am also a little disappointed in God right now. I don't understand why we are in the situation we are in or why He has allowed the events of the last few years to happen. I feel so distant from Him and I don't know what it is He's doing. I'm so tired of struggling and I feel like my faith is waning.

Good grief. I wasn't planning on sharing all of that.

Moving on...

Saturday was a gorgeous day, close to 29 degrees so Ian and I took the children to the park to fly kites and play. Here are a few pics from then...

Sam flying his Yu Gi Oh! kite...



Julie flying her Barbie kite...






Miss Jordan...



Ian and the children climbed Mount Chinguacousy. Well, the guys made it to the top, Jules froze 3/4 of the way up so they came to her to "save her".

One of the best feelings in the whole world is the feeling of your child's hand in yours...



I never get tired of holding my child's hand!

We were almost home when the sky changed....



...and it poured rain! It was almost torrential. Good thing we were done with our time at the park before this happened!

Right at this very moment I am praying for patience and tolerance as my neighbours are blaring their music. I can feel the vibrations in the floor. Ian called over earlier this afternoon to ask them to turn it down, then he went out. I guess they saw him go because the volume spiked again. I would call them but I don't trust myself to be polite.

That's all I have time for today. Sam wants to start a blog of his own so I'm going to help him set one up.

Until next time...

Good Day

Not a bad day at all.

I made it to and from the office without getting lost today. My coworkers told me about a very simple and direct route that got me home very easily.

Speaking of my coworkers, I was invited out to lunch today. :-) I had brought my lunch so they picked theirs up and brought it back and we all ate together.

The man I was talking about yesterday who said he was going to bake me some chocolate chip cookies delivered a plate to me this morning. They were really good and I shared them with everyone.

Fortinos is now charging 5 cents a bag. Honestly. I refuse to pay for bags, and because I didn't use bags, a woman put stickers on just about all my items.

Again I say... honestly!

Jordan has a little reading chair that talks, and we keep it in her playpen. Tonight she climbed up on it and just rolled herself over the edge. She was so stunned that she was free that she didn't even cry. Well, at least not until she heard me screech "OH MY GOSH SHE FELL OUT OF THE PLAYPEN!!! OH MY SWEETIE!!"

I would absolutely love to go to bed right now but tonight I'm getting together with Cindy and Jen. Going to be an early night, that's for sure.

Short and Sweet

Turns out I have GPS on my cell phone. Who knew? Well...Ian did. He showed me how to use it so I'm ready for tomorrow. Too bad I didn't know about it today, because I went the wrong way again on my way home. Things looked familiar but I wasn't sure if they were that way because I was going the right way, or the wrong way (as in, the 30 minutes out of my way kind of wrong way from yesterday) I caught myself about three minutes in and turned around. Honestly... Who goes to the same place three times and still can get lost??

The job is going well. I was completely on my own today which was alright. My phone didn't ring all morning and just when I thought it might have been broken all hell broke loose and it started ringing like crazy. I had so many things on the go all at once and I was out of practice! This job is kicking my butt!

There is a dude there who seemed very nice yesterday, but today he turned everything I said into something with a sexual connotation to it. Good grief. I am shy enough around men without this added element. He loves to bake apparently, and he's going to whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies for me tonight. Umm..ok.

On my way home tonight I saw a very interesting sight. I hope I remember to bring my camera with me in the morning. I passed a tree that had tons of shoes hanging from it. At first I thought it was a bunch of garbage caught up in the branches, but as I got closer I realized they were shoes. Strange.

It was 7pm by the time I got home tonight. The children met me at the door and took my purse and hung up my sweater for me, then gave me tons of hugs. Jordan started bouncing up and down when she saw me. I miss those children a lot, and even though its only been two days, I feel so out of the loop with them.

I am too tired to stay up to see who gets booted off Dancing With The Stars tonight. Thank goodness for PVR.

Happy Anniversary To Us!

Today is our 13th wedding anniversary! Ian prepared a lovely dinner for us and set the table beautifully. We even had candles and fresh flowers. Oh how I love that man....

I absolutely loved our wedding. We welcomed 70 guests for an elegant afternoon wine & cheese reception at my mother's home and then we left at 6pm to have dinner alone together. The next morning we were off to the Dominican Republic for our week long honeymoon. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Ok, maybe my poufy 90's wedding dress with the bow on the bum... shudder.

I love you, Ian....thank you for sticking with me through both the incredibly beautiful times and also the ugly times... You remain my greatest gift from God...

I was very emotional this morning as I got ready to head out to work. Ian got up with me at 6 am and started our day off with a prayer, which I really needed. He prepared the most perfect cup of tea for me in my favourite Eeyore mug while I did my hair and he even packed my lunch.

I even got two Hershey kisses in my lunch, just like we give the kids everyday, so they get a kiss from mom and dad during the day.

The children were still fast asleep so I didn't get to say good bye to them before I left, but I did get to love on Jordan. I squeezed her so hard she grunted. Oops.

My day went very well. So much to learn and remember. I met almost everyone and they were all so warm and welcoming to me. I had lunch with the CFO! Where I come from, the CFO was much too important to dine with the likes of moi...

What's that? That sounded a little sarcastic? Well... maybe a little... (but it's true!)

I have a lovely little cubicle office to work in and I was on my own, doing my thing, all afternoon. While I could go on and on about this job, what I really want to tell you about is my super cool phone. I can select a ring for the phone from 24 different choices. I think I will go with the lady's voice that says "Hello... is anyone there...? Hello? Anyone..?"

Sweet.

I was so excited to get home to see Ian and the children that I turned on the wrong street and ended up driving for 30 minutes in the wrong direction. Sweet mercy. What is the problem with my sense of direction?? Good thing I had a granola bar in my purse, otherwise I might have starved to death as I tried to find my way out of Cow Country.

For a moment I forgot I was alone in the car and yelled "Look! Sheep! Baa Baa!".

I would have been embarrassed but hello... I was alone...

I had just stepped onto the porch when Jules yanked open the front door and flew into my arms tonight. She was so excited to see me. I enjoyed lots of great cuddle time with all three of my little blessings before my incredible dinner. Sam said it felt so weird not seeing me before he left for school or to have me welcome him home afterwards.

So it's now 8:30 and I am mentally exhausted. Is it too early for bed??

Stuff & Such

It feels so weird to know that I'm going to work tomorrow after being out of the business loop for so long. And the pressure is starting. You know what I mean. The pressure to get everything done over the weekend so that you can head off to work Monday morning, knowing everything is in order at home.

Except it's not. My laundry is way behind. Almost as far behind as my housework is. And as I sit here typing this, I just remembered that I need to take something out of the freezer for dinner tonight.

And my chest feels so tight and my heart hurts. I'm going to miss being with Jordan all day, caring for her and loving on her. And I'll miss seeing the children right after school, excitedly telling me about their days, moaning about their homework assignments. I'll miss fixing lunch... and preparing dinner... and puttering. I will miss hanging out with Ian. I'll miss the freedom of coming and going as I wish.

But getting a paycheque again will be sweet. And it will feel good to get back into my field and see if I've still got what it takes to produce results. I feel like I can, but that may change after Day 1!

There is good and bad in everything, isn't there? Time to focus on the good.

Yesterday Sam and I went to see Monsters vs Aliens. Ian took Jules last weekend because Sam was sick, and he fell asleep towards the end, so he doesn't know how the movie ended. When we came home, he asked me how it was, and I said that I'd tell him the ending if he'd tell me what happened in the middle.

Yes... two hours of my life I'll never get back. Ok, it wasn't really that bad. Not my favourite, but it wasn't that bad. The time alone with Sam was awesome though.

After I dropped Sam off, I picked up Jules and we headed over to Chapters. I used the last of my gift card from Christmas and bought Charley's Web by Joy Fielding. I've been waiting forever for it to come out in softcover and now it's mine! We then headed over to the Tim Horton's that Jen, Cindy and I go to every week and even sat at "our table".

Yeah... we have an "our table" because we are there each week, oh so faithfully. And such faithfulness comes with perks such as that. If we get there and others are sitting at "our table" then we are not above sending looks and the odd glare at the intruders until they leave.

She was so cute, wanting to know who sat where, what we ordered, what we talked about every week. It was really nice to be able to focus just on her, and to hear her thoughts and concerns about things. She often feels left out or in the way. I consider that a personal failing, because I always strive to make them each feel special and important. But sometimes (most times?) I guess I fall short...

The girls both have colds. Again. I managed to get Jordan to eat some yogurt last night, but then she erupted like a volcano. I was so impressed with what she produced that I stopped trying to catch it in the tea towel. I just stood there, mesmerized. I think she heaved up half her body weight. Once she was done I bathed her in the sink and gave her fresh pjs and she fell asleep in my arms. She then proceeded to sleep for the next 10+ hours.

This morning there was an ambulance outside Buddy Across The Street's house. I don't know who it was for, and I don't know if they took anyone away, but I'm concerned.

I got a little thrill this morning when I discovered that someone in India and Nunavut read my blog.

India and Nunavut!!

Very exciting.

Alright, I am off to do all those things that need doing so that I can head out to the workforce tomorrow morning knowing all is in order at home.

Ha.

Job!

Well folks, guess who got a job today?

ME!

That's right, I got a job today. Just a two week temp assignment, but it's work and I'm grateful for it, believe me.

I got a call from the agency yesterday telling me about this position that was available in Milton. They set up an interview for me - yet another "working interview" - at 2pm so I headed out just after 1pm, Mapquest map in hand.

Mapquest is a very handy little tool to have. Door to door instructions, complete with how much time it should take someone to get there. You'd have to be an idiot to mess up their directions...

...or a blonde named Kate. Because said blonde managed to get lost not once, but twice on her way to this interview....

I called Ian from the heart of Georgetown, mildly panicking about my whereabouts. He was able to direct me back to my Mapquest directions and I was on my way once again. It was only about fifteen minutes later when I called him from the middle of Cow Country to tell him I was lost yet again. This time there were a few tears involved. Once again he was able to direct me right to the door.

SCORE!

The offices were very nice and very empty. I was told later that they had laid off all but a skeleton staff. Scary. Everyone seemed really nice too. I met with the A/R Supervisor and the CFO for about ten minutes, then spent the next two hours with the Supervisor, learning the ropes. We got along really, really well. We even finished each other`s sentences! I caught on to their computer system pretty quickly which pleased her. She said they left it to the very last minute to hire a replacement, and that she commented to the CFO that morning that they were going to need a miracle to find someone, then when we took a break she told him ``I think we got our miracle!``

All together now.... AWWWWWW!

I managed to get sort of lost on my way home too. Oh yes... it`s true.

I called the agency to report in once I got home and I barely got the chance to identify myself before my contact said ``Can I put you on speaker phone so we can give you the good news together?`` So sweet. Apparently the CFO felt I was a ``perfect fit``.

Apparently my aggression - or lack thereof - was not an issue for this company! ;-)

So, I start at 8am on Monday morning for at least the next two weeks. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this assignment. I can only imagine how well I will sleep tonight. I have such a sense of relief.

My mom has already stepped up to offer to pick the children up for school each morning and deliver them home again to Ian afterwards, as I will have the car all day. She is so amazing to me.

In other news...

Ian may have a lead on an opportunity as well and hopes to hear more about that on Monday. We are talking about whether or not he should return to work or go back to school. Lots to discuss there.

That`s it for today. All this excitement has pooped me right out.