Ahhh Monday....

...my day to put the house back together...

The children are back to school after a three day weekend. Yes, after attending school for less than two weeks, they had a PA day on Friday. That kills me.

Ian is back at work. Ok, I shouldn't say it like that, because he had to go into the office for several hours on Saturday and then had a show to do in the evening. Poor guy. He also had to go in unexpectedly on Sunday afternoon too.

No weekend for Ian. My man is tired.

Speaking of my man, yesterday was our Engage-A-Versary. We've been together for 16 years and were engaged 15 years ago. That's a lifetime by today's relationship standards.

We made it to church yesterday. ON TIME even. Jordan was so upset at having to go to the nursery so I took her in for the worship time, and she had a ball "singing" along with everyone else. Then, all of a sudden she was done! Off to the nursery she went.

Buh bye.

The worship and service was wonderful. I've missed several weeks of church due to one reason or another, and it did my heart such good to be back again.

Until "the announcement".

Our wonderful-amazing-godly-hilarious-fillinwhateverimissed Associate Pastor has resigned effective Dec 31st as he will be returning to school full time.

Sniff. Sniff.

Even though I've known since Wednesday and have had several days to get my head around it, I still cried as his resignation was read. (To make matters worse he was sitting right behind me with his wife so my intense lameness was surely noted.) Such a loss for our church. Still, I am excited to see what God has in store for him and his family.

I reconnected with some friends at church which was so needed. I've been out of touch for so long. I want to develop quality friendships and quit wasting time on those who hurt me.

I'm thinking of joining a new Bible study that starts this Wednesday called Experiencing God. I tried it when I first became a Christian but I just wasn't ready for it. I think now is the time.

We went to the mall yesterday and do you know what I saw?

DO YOU KNOW?

Public Pyjama Wearers.

Everywhere.

Seriously. I was like no one bothered to get dressed to go to the mall. They just rolled out of bed and grabbed their car keys.

Staying in your pyjamas all day long is not a concept that I understand. I get dressed before coming downstairs every morning. So, showing up at the mall in my pjs will.never.happen.to.me.

My Facebook chat thingamajiggy is broken so I can't chat with anyone on there. Do you know how hard that is for me? HARD. I always have something to say! That's all the complaining I will do because it takes a certain kind of lame to complain about something that is f-r-e-e. (Dear Facebook....please fix my chat feature...love, Kate)

I interrupt this riveting entry to tell you that my cat is making these really creepy yowling noises while looking at the wall. I wish he'd stop. He's freaking me out.

Where was I?

Poor Jordan... she face planted on the pavement yesterday and one of her teeth was bleeding and her lip got a little fat. And the kicker? I was right in front of her, watching her. And she still fell.

Awesome.

I went to my mom's house - kid less!- under the pretense of picking up my bottle of stain remover. As if I need a reason to go over, but I am over there so much I felt like I might be stalking her a little bit, so I used the stain remover excuse. My sister was there and it was a really good visit. She even came grocery shopping with me and we rocked out in the car to "I Gotta Feelin'" by my friends The Black Eyed Peas. I am sure we looked extremely lame very cool.

This morning when I was dressing Jordan she looked up at me, smiled, and said "Mama!"

What a beautiful way to start the day.

Ok peeps. I can't just sit around talking to you guys all day. The dryer just buzzed so it's time to switch up the laundry and get this house back in shape!

Have a great day :-)

My Date With Sam

Tonight Sam and I had a Movie Date. Just the two of us.

While I was putting Jordan's laundry away, he pulled out the sofa bed and took great pains to lay out blankets and make it super comfy for us. He also brought down my pillow and nightgown.

Our feature was High School Musical 2.

Y'all know how I love me a HSM movie.

We ate popcorn and cuddled and sang along and made fun of the cheesy parts.

I loved how much detail he put into setting everything up. For me.

I love that boy.

Picture Time

***Photos removed***

Sweet Day

I just knew today was going to be a great day when I zipped up my jeans with zero resistance.

That's right. No jumping up and down to make the zipper slide up. Not today.

:-)

Moving on...

This morning was Coffee Hour and let me tell you, I was so happy to be in the company of these strong Christian women again. I feel so incredibly disconnected from everyone and it did my heart a lot of good just to be sitting with them. It's going to be another great year.

After I picked up the children from school, we headed to our favourite park and played for an hour and a half. We were exhausted! I took a lot of pictures and I'm hoping to upload them soon. I am way behind on my picture sharing.

Update: Snippet Style

I am feeling too lazy to blog properly tonight so I'm going to share my thoughts in quick snippet style.

*******

Julie was experiencing pain in her right ear all night on Saturday night so I took her to a walk-in clinic on Sunday afternoon. From there we were sent to the Urgent Care clinic at the hospital. I was really impressed with how quickly she was seen and diagnosed. Turns out she has a really bad ear infection and a "bulging ear drum".

Gross.

*******

I was so sad to read of Patrick Swayze's passing. By all accounts he was a gentleman and I enjoyed his acting so much. What a loss.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner...

*******

I am seven kinds of excited about my local Walmart.

Oh, I know what you are thinking. "Kate hates that Walmart with the fire of a thousand suns".

And you would be right.

BUT!

They have given it a huge renovation, moved departments around and have added grocery/meat/bakery sections. It feels positively American, and I think I've made my love for American Walmarts VERY CLEAR.

*******

I can't believe that Kanye West barged onstage at the awards and snatched the microphone from Taylor Swift just as she was about to give her acceptance speech, all to say Beyonce should have won.

What an idiot.

I never liked that guy and I don't like what I read about him in the news. Classless. Self-absorbed. Outspoken. Moronic.

At least he called her to apologize.

Shameful.

And how many ways can I say "I Love You Beyonce" for giving up her moment so Taylor could have hers?

Beyonce, call me!

*******

I tuned in to The View yesterday and today because I figured I should take advantage of Annoying Elizabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave and who do I see?

Kate Gosselin!!

For the love of pete!! What is WITH this show? Do they have to have an annoying co-host on every single day? (read: Star Jones, Rosie O'Donnell, Elizabeth Hasselbeck...and yeah, I'm going to say it...Whoopi)

I am so tired of listening to this Multiple Mama repeating the same things over and over again, trying to portray herself in a positive light. She is a nasty woman and we all know it.

Psst ... Jon you are behaving like a jerk. Just sayin'.

*******

I am very excited to report that Coffee Hour at my church resumes tomorrow morning. I have missed that group so much. It will be good to reconnect with the ladies there.

I hope I can sleep tonight.

*******

Girls Club starts up again on Thursday and I am really looking forward to that. I mailed out the registration packages last week to twenty-six girls.

Twenty six!

We'll kick off with an Ice Cream Social and spend some time reconnecting.

So excited.

*******

Jessica Simpson's adorable little dog was snatched away by a coyote right in front of her! That image makes me feel so sad because you just know she won't get that dog back.

Are you wondering what she was doing that close to a coyote as much as I am?

*******

I must have watched the Oprah Flashmob video a gajillion times and you know what? I get teary every single time. Why, you ask? Because it is so cool that 20,000+ people would work together, side by side, to pull off something that epic. Oprah's delight and excitement produced a few of my tears too.

Again I have to say... this stunt was epic.

*******

And speaking of this epic stunt inspired by my friends The Black Eyed Peas (ok, not personal friends, but this is my blog and I am allowed to spin things as I wish), I have to share something that continues to amaze me.

You know that the lead singer of The Black Eyed Peas is Will.I.Am, right?

Did you know that his name is really William?

Well I didn't and Ian had to point it out to me.

Talk about feeling dippy.

I wish I had a super cool name I could twist up too.

*******

My mailbox lock has been broken for the longest time. Canada Post told Ian that the management office was responsible for repairing it. The management office said that Canada Post was responsible. Then they both told him that WE were responsible for repairing it. After holding our mail for pickup for a couple of weeks they decided to just "return to sender" everything without telling us.

Ugh.

Anyway, all that to tell you that Ian repaired the lock on the mailbox last night and I now have my very own key AND there was mail in there today.

Let's just say Kate was excited.

*******

I am hoping to go apple picking with Ian, the children and my mom this weekend. We've been going to the same orchard for 35+ years. I am always filled with plans to make apple pies for everyone I love but after making one or two of them the plans fizzle, and we're left with rotting apples.

Not this year, my friends. This year I am going to make apple pie filling and freeze it.

Yep, that's how I'm going to roll.

*******

That is all.

Over and out.

I Am A Flashmob ADDICT!

And this one was the best.one.ever.

EVER.



Yet another reason to love the Black Eyed Peas.

And I thought punching out Perez couldn't ever be topped.

My bad!

Too Tired To Think Of A Catchy Title

In the toddler world, if twos are "terrible", the threes are "terrific and the fours are "fabulous"...what are the ones?

Ornery, is my guess.

I don't know what has gotten into my adorable 17 month old, but she's been a handful these last few days. It's like she has PMS. She had a huge tantrum at my mom's on Friday that lasted almost an hour. But then the rest of the day she was her usual delightful self. Then yesterday morning she freaked out like no one's business just because I put her in her playpen so I could finish doing something without her underfoot.

When I say freaking out, feel free to envision a little person kicking her feet and writhing around all while peppered with ear shattering levels of wailing.

I was so surprised that I just stood there, watching. If I knew where our video camera was - or how to use it for that matter - I would have taped the whole thing. No one who knows this little girl would believe it.

She will be all happy and smiley until someone looks at her - or heaven forbid touches her - well that's all it takes for the waterworks to start. It's getting a little embarrassing. It's like she has PMS. I don't remember Sam or Julie being this touchy.

I am too old for this.

Oh, but how I love her. This stage will pass.

Ian is on retreat with the Jr/Sr Highs from our church, so it's been just the children and me. Friday night we camped out in the living room and ate pizza and ice cream while watching Over The Hedge and Wipeout.

Saturday morning we headed up to the retreat for the afternoon. The children were so excited to see their dad. Ian had printed mapquest directions for me so we were all set. I was originally going to follow my friend up there but we were leaving at different times. We ended up leaving a little later than planned and after a quick stop to pick up some McD's for lunch, we were off. About a 1/3 of the way into our trip, my friend pulled up beside me and waved. Whew! Now I knew for sure I wasn't going to get lost! We followed her right to the camp, easy peasy.

After a quick tour of the building and dorms, the children took off to play on the trampoline and climbing wall. Eventually they put on their bathing suits and played in the lake. Julie went canoeing with one of the youth leaders and Sam swung back and forth over the water on a rope swing. The water was freezing but somehow kids don't seem to notice that part!

I tried my hand at archery and really liked it. It's a lot easier than I thought and I can't believe it's an Olympic event.

What would a great day outdoors be without an injury??

Julie and Sam were playing on the trampoline and somehow Sam accidentally jumped on Julie's head, and ended up ripping out her earring.

Sigh.

We had planned to stay for dinner, something that has stressed me out for months. The man who runs the camp used to be homeless and cannot stand food that is wasted. Therefore he has a simple rule: take as much as you'd like, but eat what you take.

Simple right?

You'd think so, but my children can be very picky eaters so I wasn't sure how this was going to go. I reminded them and reminded them, eat what is on your plate because I don't want this guy getting cross with us. Dinner was chicken, rice and mixed vegetables.

I knew they'd eat the chicken, Julie loves rice, and well...my kids eat vegetables.

Sam managed to avoid the rice, but was called back by one of the youth leaders to have veggies.

My gang will eat green beans, carrots, corn and under duress, peas. That's about it. I'm not one of those moms that make them eat cauliflower or broccoli.

Guess what was the main component of the mixed vegetables? Cauliflower and broccoli!!

It started with Ian giving me all his veggies except his carrots. Then, Julie gave me hers but kept the broccoli and carrots, Sam gave me all of his except his carrots.

I was full of veggies let me tell you. I think some other kid further down the table might have slipped me his veggies too.

After dinner we walked around for a bit then watched a volleyball game - leaders vs the kids. We headed off at 7.

We camped out again in the living room but there wasn't a lot of sleeping going on. Jordan woke up crying and screaming, but it was really strange because it was almost as though she wasn't truly awake. I think she might be experiencing night terrors because this was her second night in a row doing this. Julie was up crying because her ear was hurting and she couldn't sleep.

I am exhausted this morning. I think I'm going to have to take Julie to a walk-in clinic to have her ear looked at. She's walking a little off balance and seems to be feeling unwell over all.

We missed church. Again. :-(

Ian should be home in an hour or two, then the house will feel like home again :-)

9/11/01

We remember.

Oh Sweet Mercy...Mama's Worn Out!

Miss Jordan ran me ragged today.

I repeat ... ragged.

After taking the children to school and then Ian to his office, we headed over to my mom's house for the day. Jordan was so happy to see her Gram and raised her arms up so that she could give her a hug. So cute.

She'd play with her blocks and occasionally come over to me to give me a hug, then gave her Gram a hug, then back to her blocks again.

Then ... it started.

You know. It.

The drama.

The destruction.

She would be happy one moment, then flat out on the floor, hands covering her eyes, bawling out her frustration. I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away and gave me the evil eye.

Apparently I was the source of her unhappiness.

Five minutes later she was climbing on my lap to cuddle and eventually fell asleep.

Twenty minutes later she was up and about again. With one swipe of her arm she knocked over a bunch of photo frames.

She smacked her toys down on my mother's glass-topped coffee table so many times that I thought for sure she'd break it.

But my favourite moment was when she was playing peekaboo behind the rocking chair, then lost her balance and pulled an end table over, sending the lamp into the wall.

And.it.broke.

!!!

Oh glory. I tried for 30 minutes to repair it but I couldn't. I am hoping Ian can, otherwise I will replace it. So embarrassing.

Neither Sam or Julie ever broke anything. Jordan, on the other hand, is channelling She-ra or something. That girl can be rough. She is much more active than either of the other two ever were. Put together, even.

But she is also sweet and cuddly and squishy and adorable!

Seriously...what a day.

I am beyond ready for bed!

First Day Of School/90210/Freaky Toys

Have you seen that Staples commercial recently? You know which one I'm talking about...the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year one.

I'm not gonna lie, friends. I was singing that song this weekend.

Now you know I love my children and I love them so much that the thoughts of being away from them destroyed Ian's chance of taking me to Jamaica for a second honeymoon.

However...

This last week of summer vacation was l-o-n-g.

Ian and I always walk the children to school on the first day. This year, Sam told me that he was going to be ignoring me in the school yard. "No offense, Mom."

Oh, none taken Mister-I'm-too-cool-to-be-seen-with-the-best-mother-ever-5th-grader.

He ran ahead and disappeared around the corner to hang with his friends. Julie stuck close by and wanted us to walk her to her door.

Every year it's the same scenario. As soon as the children are at their respective doors Ian is ready to go. I always want to hang around until the bell goes, tears in my eyes, heart full of sadness because my children are growing up.

Hmm... A touch melodramatic, yes?

I can only imagine the drama that will ensue when Miss Jordan goes to school.

Shudder.

I spent the day at my mother's house and I don't think we stopped talking except for the occasional bathroom break. We sure can talk.

Dinner was a lively affair. The children talked excitedly about their days, new teachers and what their friends were doing. I was trying to hear about Ian's big presentation while Jordan was being a clown. I love dinners like that - lively.

Ian sent me upstairs to watch the season premiere of 90210 and Melrose Place.

Oh I love that man.

I was a die-hard 90210 fan back in the day and was so sad when it ended. So imagine my complete and utter delight when they decided to "bring it back". I.am.hooked. So hooked in fact that I have a few ideas of my own and think I just might send off a letter to the writers of the show.

Or not.

I had to laugh at the new "hot guy" they have on the show now. He looks like he's in his 30's but he's playing a high school kid. Ha. Not going to fly.

I was eagerly anticipating Melrose Place. What a colossal disappointment. The ONLY character I was interested in seeing was KILLED in the first 10 minutes of the show. BOO! I actually stopped watching it halfway through.

Bad, bad, bad.

I'm going to write a letter to them too. A strongly worded one, maybe.

Jordan has this toy that is freaking me out. It's a bunny head/blanket thing and when you press its face a child's voice says "now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, may angels watch me through the night, and wake me with the morning light".

Cute, right?

NO!

It keeps going off randomly and there is no one around to push it's face.

I was downstairs alone last night around 11:30 pm when all the power went out. The house was pitch black.

I am afraid of the dark, people. And I don't care who knows it.

I was convinced "The Killer" had arrived and shut off the lights/power in my house so he could kill me in the dark.

I stood in the kitchen trying to hear the killer. What did I hear instead?

"Now I lay me down to sleep...."

Ugh.

I did what anyone would do in my situation.... I called Ian to come downstairs to get me.

Ha.

The power came on just as Ian lit some candles, so I guess the killer decided to go somewhere else. I told Ian about the toy and he went to find it in Jordan's toy box. He kept pushing the face to make it talk but it wouldn't.

Are you getting creeped out too? Why is it that it only talks when no one presses it??

I think the fact that I washed it in the washing machine might have done something to it.

In the time it's taken me to write this post, it has gone off five times.

Just so you know, it's just as creepy during the day as it was last night in the dark.

Are You A Carrot, An Egg, Or A Coffee Bean?

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots . She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door,how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst,you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The Honeymoon

I absolutely love Sheila Gregoire and her blog To Love, Honor and Vacuum so when I saw she was talking honeymoons today, well I was all over that.

Ian and I honeymooned in the Dominican Republic after a year and a half of planning our perfect wedding. I had never been there before but he had, and loved it and assured me that I would as well. I would have gone to Timbuktu as long as I was with him.

Our week there was a comedy of "errors". First of all, our room had two double beds rather than the queen we had requested. We pushed them together, but it wasn't the same. I managed to fall between them and was trapped.

Our toilet broke on our first day and Ian had to fix it himself.

We had no hot water and had to run the taps for a long time before the water became lukewarm. No leisurely showers a deux for us.

Sorry for that visual, folks.

The weather was incredibly hot so we'd turn on the air conditioning before heading out for a bit, only to find out that housekeeping would come in and turn it off.

The water was unsafe to drink, so every morning there would be a pitcher of "clean" water outside of our door. Being that I trusted no one and was so afraid I was going to get Montezuma's Revenge, I wouldn't touch the pitcher of water at all and brushed my teeth with bottled water only.

Ian let me fall asleep in the sun and didn't come back for me in five minutes like be promised. It was 45 minutes later and I was a lobster by then.

It didn't matter so much that we had double beds that night, let me tell you.

I was so unbelievably sore that if I could have tolerated a four hour flight home I would have left that day.

No one spoke English. Ian picked up Spanish very quickly but I was incredibly stubborn a little slower to learn. After a few failed attempts at making myself understood, I just sat back and let Ian do the talking. No one spoke to me at all. Once they discovered Ian was a magician it was All About Ian. Many of them had never seen magic before so they would be mesmerized and called him Mago or Maho.

What's that? What did they call me? Nothing! I was invisible.

Whenever they saw him coming they would pull out chairs for him or get him coffee.

What did they do for me? Nothing. I was invisible, remember? Keep up, please.

On our very last day there all of the staff gathered around our table to get pictures taken with All About Mago Ian and I was pushed so far away from the table that I ended up eating breakfast with another couple from Sweden.

They didn't speak English either.

There was so much I loved about that trip though. First and foremost, that feeling of being newly married, feeling like we had a secret no one else could possibly understand. I loved saying "my husband" even though no one other than him knew what the heck I was saying.

We would dance along the pathways from our villa to dinner each night, and we made up our own dance that we've since taught our kids. Whenever we've hit rough patches in our time together, it's always the memory of dancing along the path that I return to.

The resort had a huge pool that had a gradual entry like the beach and a swim up bar. But the smaller pool that was tucked away was where we spent most of our time. We were the only ones that ever used it.

Well, until the day the two attractive and topless sunbathers came along and that was the end of that.

That's right, Momma didn't raise no fool.

I enjoyed that trip but I wasn't ready for it. I was so young and still hyped up after the wedding and the year and half of planning for it, and I was so homesick.

Ian wanted to take us to Jamaica for our tenth wedding anniversary. I said sure but wanted to bring Sam and Julie. He wanted it to be a romantic time away and it wouldn't be romantic with the children there. I said it wasn't going to be romantic without them there either because I'd be crying every day from missing them.

He bought a big screen tv instead.

I'm thinking Jamaica for our 15th anniversary... maybe renew our vows on the beach.

And yes, our children will be there.

;-)

25 Things About Me

1) I have a thing about odd numbers. I don't like them. I have to buy my produce in even numbers only, with the only exception being grapes and strawberries. If I am cooking potatoes then there has to be an even number of them in the pot. Same with green beans or carrots. But not corn. What kind of freak would count corn?

2) Clowns freak me out. I mean really. They are seriously creepy people. I have yet to hear someone profess their love for a clown.

3) I hate making small talk. I never know what to say and end up saying stupid things, then I spend a lot of time afterwards wondering "what was I thinking??" Which is weird because I talk a lot. A lot.

4) I never seem to get enough sleep. I love sleeping like people love chocolate or money. But it's better than chocolate or money because it won't make a person fat or broke. Just rested. A win-win situation.

5) I'm in love with my family and truly think I have the best children ever. It blows my mind that I am someone's mother. I still don't feel ready to be responsible for someone else. I don't think I ever will.

6) I'm afraid of being lost in space (it could happen you know...I don't know how...but it could...) and movies of this genre cause me to get really tense. I also am afraid of zombies. I once saw a movie about zombies in outer space and I was apoplectic with anxiety. True story.

7) I am also afraid of becoming a victim of a home invasion...so I keep the door locked at all times...then I check it again...and again...and again...

8) I have mild OCD which you might have picked up on here.

9) I have broken 13 vacuums in 13 years. I don't get why they keep breaking. It's not like I go all She-ra on them or anything.

10) I am afraid of leaving this earth without having made a positive impact on someone else's life.

11) Whenever I have a head ache, I am sure its an aneurysm ready to burst. When I get hot suddenly then I think it's menopause. If I'm tired I think it's lupus. I may suffer from mild hypochondria.

12) I love blogging and it freaks me out that so many people read me.

13) I believe in marriage and that it must be protected above all else.

14) I have noise issues. I hate loud/sudden/constant noise.

15) I have a hard time trusting people because I have been burned so many times.

16) I worry that I'm raising my children wrong and that their therapy bills will be more than their post-secondary education fees.

17) Pizza Hut pizza is the best pizza in the world but it's so expensive so I order from Pizza Pizza instead. Take that, Pizza Hut.

18) I want people to look at me and think I have it all together, even if inside I don't. (is that wrong or is that normal?)

19) I spy on my neighbours from my windows. I pretend like it's because I am concerned about the safety of my community but really it's just that I'm nosy.

20) I worry a lot, even though as a Christian I'm not supposed to.

21) I talk in my sleep and if you talk to me then I will respond. Ian does this to me and can find out what I'm dreaming about. This creeps me out a little bit.

22) I hate confrontation. I have a very sharp tongue when I let it go, so I tend to keep away from situations that would require confrontation.

23) I need to start being less concerned with what people think of me and more concerned with what God thinks of me.

24) I don't like change. In fact, I resent it. I am most comfortable when things are the same and I know what to expect. It amazes me to think of how much in my life is the same, and how many routines I have. It's comforting.

25) I love the person who created M&Ms.

Facebook

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

Back in early 2007, a friend of mine suggested I try out Facebook. "You'll LOVE it!" she gushed. I told her I did not need yet another addiction in my life, thankyouverymuch.

I can't recall whether it was her repeated insistence (harping?) or my own curiosity, but I finally checked it out. At first I thought it was the lamest thing ever. But after the first few weeks, I was hooked.

There were few people I looked for that I couldn't find. Grade school friends. High school crushes. Old work colleagues. Relatives. As the months went by and more and more people joined, I reconnected with more long-lost people.

What fun.

I loved being able to reconnect with people I'd lost touch with over the years because "life happened". It's fun to look at the profile of that kid who was your best friend in kindergarten and seeing that she's a mom now. Or being able to answer that "I wonder whatever happened to..." question.

I'm not gonna lie... I loved learning that "that guy" who I had a major crush on in high school not only remembered me 20+ (*choke*) years later, but remembered me fondly. Or that my first boyfriend that cheated on me with she-who-will-remain-nameless is still in the exact same job as he was when we were just teenagers, doing the exact same crap he was doing then. But best of all was seeing that the most popular girl in high school that all the boys drooled over, peaked in highschool.

With Facebook's handy status line I am able to keep up with what's happening in people's lives. I enjoy seeing their pictures.

As of today, I have 212 friends on my Friend List. It feels like a nice, round number. It used to be higher, but it needed a little housekeeping.

So I mentioned it's a love/hate thing. So far I've just talked about what I love about it. There is a lot that I don't love about it.

Poking: What's with the poking, people?? What does that mean anyway? Hey how are you? I'm still here? I'm trying to annoy you? What is the purpose? I'll admit it...I used to be a poker. But I'm now a Former Poker. Stop poking me please!

Status Lines: Do I need to know that you are hungry? Or that you hooked up with some hot babe at the club last night? Do I need to know that you are cross with someone but instead of telling them directly you're going to broadcast it in your status? Oh and the grammar.... "Mary Sue Smith is gone to the store". No Mary Sue.... your status should read "Mary Sue Smith HAS gone to the store".

I especially love (eye roll) is "Mary Sue Smith is sad/angry/can't believe it!, etc. All for the purpose of attention, so that people will fall over themselves to ask what's wrong with Mary Sue Smith!! We're all adults.. if there is something wrong, come out and say it already. Don't hint.

Sigh.

Quizzes: Oh sweet mercy, the quizzes. Those annoyances clog up my entire feed and they are just ridiculous!! And do these quiz addicts even look at the quizzes they are taking or read the results before they post them to their wall for everyone on their friends list to see? Especially ones with graphic adult content. To the friends that do this, I am embarassed on your behalf.

Group Invites: Please don't invite me to a funeral using this method. 'Nuff said.

I don't care when Facebook makes changes to it's applications. It's a free service and I'm happy to use it. I would like to see the Limited Profile make a return, however. You know, for those people that I wish I could remove but would hate the confrontation that would come with it. That way they would only see what I wanted them to see.

And that, my friends, is all I have to say about that.

Did You Know...?

'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

'Lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand.

No word in the English language rhymes with month , orange, silver, or purple.

'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words 'racecar', 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.'

'Typewriter' is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps.

They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid .

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Now you know more than you did before!!

Spa Night

Tonight was Spa Night/Open House hosted by the Girls Club. We don't officially resume until Sept 17th, but we wanted to reconnect with the girls during the summer and at the same time hold an open house for new girls and their moms to come and check us out.

We had a fantastic turnout tonight with several of our regular girls and some new faces too which was really exciting. One mom did nail art for them, and bless her heart, she sat there, doin' her thing for 2 1/2 hours! One of our junior leaders did mine. Purple polish with white polka dots...

See?



**Pic courtesy of Ian's iPhone**

Cool, huh?

That's me, baby.

I sat down with a couple of the girls while we ate pizza, and pretty soon we had quite a large group gathered, each of them trying to talk over one another. It was so fun to hear about how their summers were, and their excitement about returning to school.

I missed my girls! It was so good to hug them again. We have lots of great things planned for them in the months ahead.

I'm so excited at having spent the evening with them that I've given myself a headache.

:-)

Mean Mommy Monday

Hello. My name is Kate and I'm a Mean Mommy.

Or so I gather from the displeased looks on my lovely children's faces.

All.day.

It all started when I asked them to please make their beds.

GASP!

I know! How could I?

Well, I followed up that horrible request with yet another...please brush your teeth.

What kind of mother does that?

Then I thought I'd kick it up a notch and ask them to please pick up everything on their bedroom floors so that I could vacuum. I also asked them to tidy up their playroom.

That's right, pass that Worst Mother of the Year Award right this way please!

Oh friends, but it gets even worse.

They both missed their check-in times while they were playing outside. Twice. Now they are grounded for the next two days. They are welcome to play out in front of the house or in the backyard, but not at their friends houses.

What's that? I win another award for my masterful parenting?

Yay me.

Sigh.

Calgon...take me away...

Camp Night

I had been planning on taking Julie camping this summer, thus starting our First Annual Mother/Daughter Camp Night. This was our weekend to go, but the forecast was all rain.

So, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. Right?

We pulled out the pull-out couch and ate Chinese food and microwave smores in our pjs, while watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua and High School Musical 3.

Oh I love me a High School Musical movie. I do, I do.

The best part of indoor-camping?

No bugs!

Guess we'll try again next year...

Life is Good

This week has been so good that I almost want to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming.

Ian started his new job on Wednesday and has hit the ground running. He has a lot on his plate but he's loving it.

I love seeing him in his suit and tie ;-)

Meow!

Everything is just the way I like it. It's hard not to fall into my old habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I'm choosing to enjoy life the way it is, right this minute.

And life is good.

Walmart Weirdness

Last night Ian went to Walmart to pick up a bag of milk for me and this woman was standing in line in front of him.



In case you didn't notice, she is wearing pyjamas.

In public.

You may recall how I feel about pj pants in public, but this a whole other animal, don't you think?

Apparently the only thing weirder than her standing in line in her pjs was her husband next to her, wearing a heavy fall jacket. Note: we are experiencing 200 degree weather these days.

Gotta love Walmart.

Home Again

Today was Day 1 of being at home again and it was wonderful.

I woke up at 7am and after a moment's panic of "OhmygoshIoversleptandnowImgoingtobelate!!!" I relaxed and basked in the knowledge that there was nowhere I had to be today.

And it felt good.

I proceeded to lay awake for the next two hours until I could hear the children up and Sam came to get us.

This afternoon I took the children to see G-Force and Ian stayed at home with Jordan. Afterwards I picked Jordan up and we all headed over to my Mom's for a bit, then grocery shopping and home again. It felt so good to cook dinner for my family instead of being too tired/late to do so.

The last few nights we've all been playing "Buzz" on the PS3 and it's hilarious. Some of (ok, most of) the questions I have no idea as to the answers, and it kills me when the kids know them. Lots of laughs and so much better than watching a movie.

Yesterday was my last day at my placement and it was good. I felt sad about leaving, but 100x more excited. This is where I want to be and I am so thankful to be here again. Everyone signed a card for me and gave me a gift card. I was really touched.

Tomorrow is Ian's first day at his new job. He says he isn't nervous but I sure am. I hope everything goes well for him. I can't wait to see him in his suit and tie!

Garage Sale & Party Time

Today Ian had a garage sale to try to get rid of some of our un-used stuff.

Note that I said "Ian had".

At last year's garage sale Ian fired me twice before 9am. This year I just stayed out of sight and while I struggled with guilty feelings about not helping him, I had a sense that I was helping just by staying out of the way.

Sam sold some of his things and made about $47. Julie did her Lemonade/Iced Tea stand and made about $18. Not bad.

Afterwards we all headed out shopping so that I could find an outfit to wear to a party I went to tonight. I really don't have a sense of style and if it were up to me, all my clothes would be black, navy or grey.

Which, until I married Ian, they were.

Any I outfit that has colour, Ian is likely responsible for it. Anything that draws compliments...well you might as well give them to him. He is my fashion consultant.

I wandered around the store, waiting for him to show me something so I could try it on and leave. I despise shopping for clothes. I'm not sure if Julie found the outfit I eventually bought or if it was Ian, but the price was right so I tried it on. I wasn't sure about it, but Ian and the children really liked it so I bought it.

When I was showered and dressed and ready to go, Sam said "Mom, you look really, really great. I mean really." and gave me such a tight hug. Julie put her hands over her mouth and said "Oh Mom!"

Guess the outfit was a winner.

I missed my basic black.

The party was in honor of Dawn's 40th birthday. I went on my own and Ian stayed with the children. I intended to go and make an appearance, but I ended up staying for over 3 hours! I sat with Dawn's hair stylist (soon to me MY hair stylist, thankyouverymuch) and her husband and conversation and laughter flowed freely. I also met Karen who also blogs.

Dawn's mum surprised her with a trip to Vegas!

The best part? Blackjack! I won a bottle of wine for my superior Blackjack skilz!

Oh yes, Vegas here I come.

You are taking ME, right Dawn??

Update

I have to start this post with one of the most breathtaking pictures I have seen in a long while. And I am personal friends with this talented photographer.

** click on picture to view a larger image



Amazing, isn't she? Take a look at her Naturally Beautiful Photography blog to see more of her incredible work. She is so talented. One of these days I'm going to book her to take some pictures of my children.

This week has not been without entertainment.

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday training someone to take over my job. Day 1 was alright even though I didn't get the best vibe from her. Day 2 was like something from another planet. She kept leaving the reception desk for long periods of time to make personal phone calls. She expressed her displeasure at having to cover reception in addition to issuing credits, and asked if it was ok to ignore the phone.

!!!

I suggested gently that it may not be a good idea to do that, being that 50% of her job was reception after all.

She said I had "awesome conversability". When I asked what that meant she said I could speak to anyone, at any level, at any time.

Umm.... thank you?

She spotted my cell phone on the desk and asked if it was a company phone, and when would she be getting hers?

I couldn't understand half of what she said, and she would randomly say words that didn't really mean anything. I kept saying "Pardon?" and she would just look at me. Weird. I was beginning to suspect Tourette's.

She would suddenly whip out a little journal, scribble something with great fervor, then tuck it away quickly. To this very moment I want to know what she was writing about.

Poor me. I will never know.

She yawned all afternoon yesterday and kept saying she needed to speak with her father. Finally I asked her flat out, was she intending to return or was I wasting my time training her and we should just fill in time until the end of the day?

She said she was intending to return the next day, she was just waiting for her father to call her to give his permission for her to work there.

Yeah, you read that right.

Needless to say, I gave my feedback to the CFO and she did not return today.

Whew!

I did feel bad when I discovered that she left me a lovely note for me to find this morning.

A new person arrived today and I knew we were going to hit it off when she called to say she was coming but had gotten lost. (If you recall, I got lost 6 days in a row coming and going to this place) She seems like a nice young woman and is getting a good feel for what needs to be done. It's a lot of work that requires a lot of organization and it's all priority, but she seemed to feel she could handle it. I think I will only be there until Monday, maybe Tuesday.

Today was sweet. Someone gave me a bouquet of yellow daisies and someone else brought me in a plate of home baked peanut butter cookies. I won the weekly trivia contest again. (That makes three times, my friends) I went for lunch with one of my coworkers and she gave me a lovely notebook and a candle holder. I was very touched. It's nice to know that I made an impact there.

My favourite thing? My coworkers have stopped saying "Oh My God" all the time. Now they say "Oh My Gosh". Sweet.

In other news...

We are having a garage sale this Saturday. Remember last year's garage sale when Ian fired me twice before 9am? Well this year he's on his own. I thought I'd lose my mind with all the people picking over our stuff, trying to buy stuff that wasn't even for sale.

Grr!

So I am going to help Julie with her lemonade stand because she won't fire me. And then I'm going to play in the backyard with Jordan.

Saturday evening I am going to a birthday party for my friend Dawn. She will be turning 40. Never in my life have I seen someone so excited about turning 40. When it's my turn I'm going to have bloody nails from hanging on to my thirties. Just watch.

I think that covers all my news.

Catch ya later ;-)

Good Weekend

If you don't mind, I'd like to start off this post with a sigh of contentment.

SIGH.

Thank you.

My husband has a job offer and I am returning home, hopefully full time.

I am content.

And so thankful.

~~~~~~~

Friday night Ian and I went on a date. Sam and Julie went to my in laws overnight, and Jordan slept over at my mother's.

We went out for dinner.

Alone.

At a restaurant with cloth napkins.

And mood lighting.

At a table for two.

SIGH.

Afterwards we headed to the movie theatre to see GI Joe. One showing was sold out with the other filling fast. We bought tickets and headed in, only to find that there weren't two seats together anywhere. Being that we were on a date we wanted to be able to sit together so we headed back out to exchange our tickets to see The Hangover. It wasn't too bad, definitely some funny lines in it. We had a really good time.

And as much as I love my children, I was ok that they were away for the night. I've never felt that way before. I like my children under my roof at night. But this time I was ok.

~~~~~~~

Yesterday I went to pick Jordan up at my mother's and stayed to visit for the morning which I loved.

I am planning on taking Julie on our First Annual Mother/Daughter Camping Night in a couple of weeks. I've never camped on my own before but I'm not worried about it. We'll go to a family campground that lacks snakes and wild animals and, hopefully, axe murderers. Ian shared some huge doubts mild concerns about my ability to set up the tent on my own.

Disbelievinghusbandsaywhat??

I am more than a pretty face, friends, I have skillz.

Ian wanted me to do a test run on setting it up so that he could rest assured that I could do it on my own. So, he brought it to my mom's yesterday afternoon and I set it up.

In under 15 minutes.

[insert sounds of amazement, awe and appreciation here]

Was it perfect? No. But I didn't say it would be set up perfectly. I said I could set it up. And I did.

Success is so sweet.

And I packed that thing back up in probably less time, and much neater than I found it, thankyouverymuch.

~~~~~~~

Today during our church service it began to rain really hard. Ian leaned across Sam and whispered something like "If you were camping right now...there goes your tent."

But what did I hear him say?

"Your awesome tent set up was amazing and you are going to be a formidable camper. And you are extremely beautiful."

:-)

~~~~~~~

Answered Prayers

I am so excited!

Ian interviewed with a company on Friday and they offered him the position today!

I am so proud of him. I can't go into too many details as he has yet to accept the position. That will come tomorrow.

I am coming home, friends! I am so excited to be a SAHM again, and care for Ian and the children and run my home.

There are still some details to work out, but God is showing His hand, and we are so grateful.

Gotta say it again....I am so excited!!!

Zzz.....zzz...

I don't know what my problem is this weekend but I am tired.

Aside from sleeping in every morning (thanks Ian) I've had a nap every day. Last night I went to bed at 5 and woke up just after 9am this morning. Then I had a 2 hour nap this afternoon. I'm on my way to bed after this post...

I would go to the doctor to find out why I'm so tired but after having two rounds of extensive bloodwork done this year that showed nothing wrong with me, I will just have to live with it according to my doctor.

It's frustrating.

I'm really hoping that something great happens this week. I could use it.

Long Weekend

Oh how I love a long weekend.

This morning Ian let me sleep in until 10am! What a luxury.

Ian took the children to a movie this afternoon and Jordan and I stayed home and napped. Then I gave her a bath, dressed her up including bows in her hair, and we headed out to do a bit of grocery shopping. She looked so incredibly adorable and people kept stopping me to tell me what a gorgeous baby she is.

Gorgeous babies are the only kind I make, thank you very much.

We went to Mom's for Sam's birthday bbq and that was a fun time. I love spending time with my mother. My sister was there too which was nice. I don't see her very often anymore either.

Then...my favourite part. Birthday cake! Oh friends, I love me some birthday cake. We bought a small cake decorated like a piece of watermelon. Very cool.

Now I'm relaxing in my favourite recliner, sipping a steeped tea from Timmie's I got with the gift card I won this week and just feeling content.

Sweet.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Today my wonderful son turned 10.

10?

How did that happen?

Didn't he just arrive yesterday?

Oh, how the years have flown by...

Sam wanted to get up at 6am to open his gifts together so (*yawn*) that's what we did. The children climbed into our bed with us while he opened one after another until the big finale - a DSI that he had been aching for. He was beyond thrilled.

Sam chose Mc'D's for dinner and Cats & Dogs for our family movie night. He loved his Cherry Chip birthday cake, baked by yours truly.

Happy Birthday, Sam. I love you so, so much.

Alive & Kicking

Yep. That's me.

I haven't felt moved to blog lately because I haven't been feeling like myself and didn't want that to show. I feel as though I am under tremendous spiritual attack and I am tired. I don't like the way I'm feeling. My faith is being tested and and I'm failing.

More on that another time. Not today.

I won the weekly trivia contest for the second week in a row. Last week was a $15 gift card for Subway and today's prize was a $15 gift card for Tim Hortons.

Sigh.

I know. What could be sweeter??

The Bachelorette ended this week and once again I am horrifically disappointed in this show.

Say it with me, friends....

"I am never watching this show again. EVER!"

Honestly! Why on earth would Jillian pick Ed over REID!? She was almost as annoying as Bachelorette Trista. Almost.

So it's over now and I need a new show. I can't/don't want to get into Big Brother because watching a bunch of people stuck in a house together is very boring to me. Hell's Kitchen is a very angry show, so I certainly don't need that, thank you very much.

Tomorrow is Samuel's 10th birthday. How the heck did that happen?? He's such a great kid and I absolutely adore him. I just took his birthday cake out of the oven and will ice it in the morning. It'll have to be at the crack of dawn when I do it too! Sam wants to get up at 6:30am to open his gifts.

!!!

Tonight I met up with the other two Girls Club leaders to plan for our fall session. Lots of good ideas. We're going to have a Girl's Spa Day on Aug 24th and give the girls manicures and pedicures while they sip on lemon water in pretty glasses and eat pizza. "K" will prepare a devotion on what God says real beauty is, not what the world teaches us. We're going to incorporate some new things too, like a prayer box and worship time, as well as how to reach more girls with this ministry. It's going to be a great year.

I am so excited that this weekend is a long weekend. We're going to my mother's for a bbq to celebrate Sam's birthday with the family, but other than that we don't have anything going on. I'm looking forward to being with Ian and the children.

That's it for me. Over and out.

Girl's Weekend

It's just me and my beautiful girls this weekend :-)

Last night we all drove up north to the campground where Sam and Ian are camping for the weekend. The girls and I hung around while they set up camp then enjoyed a few s'mores together before heading home, leaving them to their male bonding.

The trip home should have taken us about 50 minutes.

But...

It took us about ten minutes to find our way out of the campground. We just kept driving around and around...

Then we had to stop at Dairy Queen to fortify us for the ride home. I am sure you understand the importance of such a stop.

Then there were a couple of stops to reset the dvd player so that the girls could watch another episode of Hannah Montana. (Again, I am sure you see the importance here as well)

I don't particularly enjoy driving. I don't like to drive in the dark, rain, snow, traffic, on the highways or pretty much any day ending in "y".

We made it home in about an hour and a half. Julie was waiting at the front door while I was just about to get Jordan out of her car seat when I realized I had forgotten to stop for milk for this morning.

Ahem.

We all got back into the van, went to the gas station and bought a carton of milk (which I never do because there is something about buying milk at a gas station that is about 5 kinds of wrong) and we made it back home again.

Whew!

The girls were in bed by (gulp) 11:10pm and I enjoyed a very peaceful couple of hours watching whatever I wanted to watch on tv and chatting to a friend on facebook.

But mostly I missed my boys.

(I slept on the couch so I could hear the killer when he arrived. That's right - he's not going to sneak up on ME)

Today I am taking the girls to Build A Bear and then we're going to "do lunch". Tonight we'll pull out the sofa-bed and sleep there while watching movies until we fall asleep.

Sweet.

I saw this video this morning and I loved it!



Have a great day!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am so thankful for my family and good friends who are faithfully praying for me. I haven't been myself for awhile now and I've been struggling in so many areas.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.

For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.

Psalm 40:11-13

Keep praying for me, my loved ones. I need you now more than ever.

Four Things

My temp job has been extended for another four weeks, possibly more. They don't really know how long they will need me. But they have assured me that I will be given two weeks notice. Nice.

I met up with Jen for coffee this week. I haven't done that in two months! :-( As always it felt so good being with her again. We laughed and talked and talked (and I cried, big shock).

Today Ian and I took the children to a carnival. I'd been looking forward to it since we went last July. The day started out with a torrential downpour but the sun came out and it was a gorgeous day. I even saw my childhood friend, Marilyn. Sweet.

After two or more months of looking, I finally found a new purse. Julie helped me find it. She was so patient through all of my "it's too big/too small/hate the strap/pockets/colour/shape/I hate purse shopping/I'm never going to find one I like" etc. and produced one that I loved. $100 marked down to $25. LOVE HER. My co-worker teases me about my incredibly small budget for a purse so I can't wait to show her my formerly $100 purse on Monday.

That's about it. My urge to blog is on vacation I think!

The Art of Forgiveness

I originally posted this entry on May 26th, 2008. These days I find myself struggling with forgiveness, so I thought I'd put it out there again, if only to remind myself of what forgiveness truly means.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

Yesterday I had a conversation (a highly emotionally charged conversation!) with a close friend of mine who is struggling with people who have hurt her deeply in the past, as well as those who continue to hurt her to this day. She was struggling with the concept of forgiveness and doubted her ability and willingness to do it. I completely get where she is coming from.

That conversation really got me thinking. Forgiveness is something I struggle with. Sometimes I just don't want to do it. Flat out don't want to do it. Some things just don't deserve forgiveness, right? How can we forgive someone, let them off the hook and have them think what they did was ok? If I forgive someone, doesn't that lessen my pain?

No.

What I have come to learn is that forgiveness, more often than not, has nothing to do with the person who hurt you. It's about you. It's giving yourself permission to let go and begin to heal. It isn't saying that what that person did was ok. It's simply allowing yourself to move forward.

Ian and I had to learn the art of forgiveness under incredibly difficult circumstances but don't think for a second that it came easily. We have survived a season of heartbreak that few people (I pray) will ever know. We are left with broken pieces to pick up, and forgiveness continues to be a work in progress. I prayed for warm, fuzzy feelings of forgiveness to wash over me. But they never came. I prayed for a forgiving heart. It didn't come. Finally I asked God what He wanted me to do and He softly spoke to my heart and told me to make the choice to forgive, and to trust in Him to bring the healing. So I did it. Even though every fibre of my being was screaming at me not to do it, His voice in my heart was loudest.

Last night I was doing my nightly devotions and it was about forgiveness. The author said that “forgiveness is giving up the right to punish”. That really hit me. It SO isn’t about letting the other person off the hook for what they did, nor is it telling them that you are ok with what they did. It’s giving yourself permission to move forward. There is such relief in putting down the anger and forgiving. Its so exhausting being angry, resentful and bitter.

I have many broken areas of my life that need grace and forgiveness. I have been hurt very deeply, many times. But to be completely truthful, I have hurt others as well. Sometimes more than once by doing the same things.

Another thing I have learned is that people will reap what they sow. We may not be around to see their reaping, but I know it happens. It isn't up to us to exact punishment for what someone else has done to us.

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21.

I know my day will come when I am face to face with my Redeemer and I will have to account for what I have done - both good and bad. Knowing that he took the weight of my sin onto Himself and forgave me, it is impossible for me not to extend that same grace to those who have sinned against me.

My friend is beaten down by years of being hurt. She is done with it. She has tried to fight back with kindness and love but the hurt just keeps on comin'. "Why do I even bother?" she shouted at me yesterday as she cried as though her heart would break. I told her that she "bothers" because God created her to, and He put a beautiful and loving heart inside her to help her. God created her that way. Isn't that just so beautiful?

People are going to be mean. Love them anyway. People are going to hurt you. Make the choice to forgive them and trust in our Heavenly Father to heal and restore us. He will not leave us or fail us. We can count on that.

Goodbye Shannon...

This week I learned that a woman I worked with for many years - and enjoyed a close friendship with for a time - suffered a brain aneurysm on Sunday and was on life support. Shannon was taken off of life support yesterday after tests failed to show any brain activity.

I am so, so sad.

She had a smile that lit up the room, and she had one for everyone. She had a very quick wit and a warm heart.

She had a young daughter and the thought of that little girl growing up without her mother just breaks my heart.

It amazes me that a person is here one minute and can be gone the next. It really puts life into perspective, doesn't it? Death is so final. It is really making me look at my own life, at what truly matters and what doesn't. I don't want to waste my time here.

We really need to live more intentionally, don't we? To make our short time here matter.

I wonder what kind of legacy I will leave or what people will say about me when I'm gone.

What must it be like to finally be in the presence of the Lord? To be here one moment, and then to be standing face to face with Him the next? To walk with Him, talk and laugh with Him.... to even hug Him! How totally awesome that will be.

Tomorrow night I will go to say goodbye to Shannon at her viewing. As deeply sad as I am that she is no longer here on earth, I am even more excited that she is with the Lord. How could I possibly wish her back here?

I will see her again.

Goodbye for now, Shannon... until we meet again.

Black Eyed P...

As in Black Eyed Perez...

Would it be wrong to admit that I am still laughing that Perez Hilton was punched in the eye?

Because I am.

And it all went down just 40 minutes from my humble home.

Here he is... all battered and bruised.



Boom Boom Pow!

Ha ha ha...look!



Ok, that concludes my streak of meanness.

My Girls

Just a few quick pictures for today. I don't really feel up to blogging tonight. I'm in kind of a funny mood. Not funny ha-ha, just kind of "off".

I took this picture of Julie last night on our walk along the ravine with Jordan...



This is the smile I get whenever Jordan sees me. She is such a happy little girl...



This girl loves to walk! I love her curly hair...



No new pics of Sam lately. He isn't into having his picture taken these days. I'll keep trying :-)

Blur

This past week passed by in a complete blur. I can’t believe its Sunday night already.

I was expecting to finish up my temporary placement on Friday, but it has been extended again for another week, maybe two. They have hired and trained someone in Kingston and she is ready to take over. I feel sad about that and I don’t know why. I resisted going back to work – even temporarily – but over the last nine weeks I feel as though the position became mine. Year End is this week, so I will tie up as many loose ends as I can. I think I will be helping out in other areas but I don’t know for how long. Each day I work is a blessing.

Friday night rolled around with super speed. Usually it’s Family Night, but I decided that I was going to give Ian the weekend off as part of his Father’s Day celebrations. I bought a big button for him to wear that said “Off Duty”. Strangely enough, he didn’t wear it...

So not cool, Ian.

He ended up heading out for a bit on his own, which left Sam, Julie, Jordan and Yours Truly. Then Julie was invited to go out with her friend to a nearby park.

So it was Sam, Jordan and Yours Truly. Then Sam was invited to go to his friend’s house to play video games.

Then it was just Jordan and - you guessed it! - Yours Truly. Rather than stay home, Jordan and I walked over to Chapters and browsed around for a bit, then over to Second Cup where I treated myself to a Strawberry Smoothie.

Friends… I love me a Strawberry Smoothie like nobody’s business.

We headed home and picked up Sam along the way, then went to McDonald’s as Sam hadn’t eaten yet. We came home and I played with Jordan out front for a bit then came in for the night. Miss Julie rolled in around 9:30 and I put all the children to bed.

I attempted to watch a movie with Ian but I fell asleep after the opening scene.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early and headed out for an appointment at 9am. I managed to squeeze in a visit with my mother in the early afternoon then came home to get everyone ready to go out for dinner at our friends’ house. It truly was a great evening with lots of laughter, storytelling and great food.

Came home and didn’t even try to watch a movie. We were exhausted.

I had planned to serve Ian his breakfast in bed this morning in honour of Father’s Day (and let’s face it, because I’m an awesome wife) but things didn’t exactly go as planned. Sam woke me up and I headed downstairs to get breakfast started. He went to Magic’s cage to check on her as he always does first thing in the morning.

Sadly, Magic had passed away some time during the night. Sam was crushed.

I went to tell Ian and he came down to remove Magic from her cage while I held Sam as he cried. Julie came downstairs to see what the commotion was and we had to tell her what had happened. She just lay against me, with big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn’t make any noise, just silently cried.

Ugh! This is why I hate little pets! They die and make everyone sad.

I didn’t even want that darn bird, if you recall.

But my heart broke for my children.

Would it be wrong if I admitted that while I held my children I was trying to remember when we bought the bird and if we still had our receipt? (You can return them within a certain time frame if they should die) Because if it would be wrong to admit that, then you can feel free to pretend like I didn’t say anything about it at all.

After church we headed back to the pet store to buy a new bird.

Don’t even say anything about the new bird, people. We’ve already covered the fact that I am the biggest pushover ever.

So now we are the owners of a new bird named Summer. I voted to name him “Jinx” because I would get a kick out of saying “Hi Jinx!”.

Get it?

Oh I am nothing if not witty.

This afternoon I was planning on getting a head start on some housework so that Ian could relax a bit tomorrow, bake a cake for dessert, do some laundry and make a lovely dinner to honour my husband.

Then my sister called. My mother was very sick and a doctor was coming to the house to see her and did we have any Gravol?

!!!

I dropped everything and rushed out. I went to four stores until I found some then rushed over to my mother’s. She said she had been incredibly dizzy and nauseated all last evening and today and couldn’t walk or keep anything down. I stayed with her for a couple of hours until she said she started to feel better. I got her all settled and headed home.

I felt so torn. Do I stay with my sick mother or go home and celebrate Father’s Day? She was telling me to go home. Ian was telling me to stay.

Sigh.

I decided to go home for dinner and return if necessary. Julie set the table for me and did a beautiful job. She is only 8, but she knows all the niceties that go with setting a lovely table. She amazes me. I served roast beef, mashed potatoes, corn, carrots, salad and breadsticks.

Oh yes, I cook. ;-)

I didn’t get to bake the cake as planned so I threw some brownies in the oven and we had those with ice cream for dessert.

My sister called during dinner to say the doctor had been there and then proceeded to give me incorrect information. Thankfully, my mother called shortly afterwards and gave me the proper story. She has a virus and it’s already showing signs of leaving her system. My sister is staying over night in case she has a turn for the worse, and then my aunt will arrive on Tuesday for the summer, as planned.

So it’s 10:30 pm on Sunday and I just don’t know where Tues, Wednesday, Thursday, etc went.

I loved being with the children all weekend, doing things for them, fixing them lunch, making their dinner, tucking them into bed at night. I miss that so much more than I could ever, ever express here. I want to be back at home again, taking care of my family like before. God knows my heart longs for this and I trust that He has a plan for me. In the meantime, I am grateful for this job and the fun it brings.

That’s it for me. I am O-U-T.