Season Finales

It's that time of year... season finale time!

Dancing With The Stars ~ definitely a great show! I love that it isn't like the other reality shows that are manipulative or mean (ie; Big Brother, Amazing Race). It's entertaining and clean. I like that. I'm not particularly happy that Kristi Yamaguchi won. I think she went into the competition with an edge over everyone else from her skating days. But I did love her partner Mark Ballas so I guess it was ok.

American Idol ~ Way to go David Cook! You just knew he'd win it from the moment he opened his mouth. The way he could take a song and make it his own was so entertaining.



Desperate Housewives ~ What the heck is with the 5 year flash forward?!? Gabby with kids? I thought she couldn't have them after her miscarriage! And little pudgy kids to boot! LOL. I love that the wives have accepted Katherine into their fold. What a great storyline that was. I knew Dylan wasn't her birth daughter! I CALLED IT! What is Bree doing back with Orson? And of course, the question everyone will be asking until the show returns... what happened to Mike???

Tonight is the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. Sigh. I like this show. I hope that Derek and Meredith just get back together already. Honestly. Enough of that for the love of pete. And we need a new George storyline for next season! I wonder what is going on with Ava that she thinks she is pregnant...Is Dr. Hahn gay? Will Dr. Bailey reconcile with her husband? What about the cheif and his wife? I hope this finale answers my pressing questions!

And next week is the season finale of LOST. I LOVE this show. I hate that it won't be on for another 8 months. Ahh well. At least we know 6 of them get off the island. But I bet it will be a huge cliffhanger.



Thank goodness Dr. Phil and I have our daily appointment at 3pm. I don't know what I would do if he had a season finale.

Farewell

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here I am. Send Me!" - Isaiah 6:8

Tonight was the commissioning service at the church for our friends Barb and Gerry as they prepare to leave for the DR of Congo, Africa this Saturday to serve in the mission field for the next two years.

I can still remember sitting in their backyard on that warm summer evening as they told me how they had applied to a company called Medair and were hoping to be accepted and placed in Africa to serve the Lord as fulltime missionaries. It was inconceivable to me that two people with a lovely home, good jobs and a wealth of family and friends would leave all that behind. I felt my chest tighten because I could not imagine them not being here.

This has not an easy process for them. It's taken them a lot of thought and prayer, and ultimately placing themselves squarely in the palm of God's hand and trusting Him completely. It has been a blessing to have been able to see faith in action, to see two followers of Christ not only listen for the call of the Lord but to then step out in complete faith to trust Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Tonight we gathered as a church family to pray over them as they prepare to leave. Their house group put on a great skit with a song tailored to them. The Jr High Youth Group had a send off for them as well. Gerry brought Fear Factor to this group and they were pretty nervous as to what the Jr Highs might try to get them to eat! Apparently one of their favourites is a Happy Meal (complete with drink) mixed in a blender then you drink it. Gross right? Not as gross as putting an Alka Seltzer in your mouth and then taking a drink of club soda and keeping it in your mouth to see who can last the longest. Ugh! My personal favourite is one he demonstrated for us years ago: jam slathered onto bare feet then wiped with two pieces of bread. Yep..,you guess it... then you eat it. LOL. Oh the things I missed not having ever been on a youth retreat. (not!)

It was very powerful to sit in the sanctuary as we all prayed over them, thanking the Lord for their lives, for their willingness to be His light in the darkness, to follow His will for their lives, for protection for them, for those of us left behind. For inspiring us to be better Christians. Lots of tears were flowing. These are such quality people. You don't encounter that very often in this world.

It was hard to hug them goodbye, knowing it will be an entire year before we see them again when they come to visit us. I am so lousy with goodbyes! I cry every time and last night was so different.

I am excited for them as they prepare to embark on this journey. I know they will impact the people of Bunia as deeply as they have impacted us here in our city. I can't wait to hear of the things they are doing in His name.

Thank you, Gerry and Barb. Thank you for showing us what faith in action truly looks like. Until we meet again....

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Whiny Wednesday

I cannot believe all the things I am finding while I'm packing up cupboards and closets.

An unopened bottle of red wine from my wedding 12 years ago.

Wedding gifts never out of their original packaging.

My favorite apple pie recipe that I was sure was gone forever.

About 20 boxes of jello. Who owns that much jello? And why??

I even have a food processor. Who knew?

I know this is a work in process and we're only a 1/3 of the way in, but I am frustrated. I'm not going to lie ... I'm not having a good time. We are such packrats!! Everything is saved "in case" we need it. "Someday" we might use it. Ugh.

In the midst of all this chaos my housework has slipped. I just feel as though we are living in a pig pen right now and it's overwhelming. I know it's a temporary situation but still... I am not having a good time. I guess I just need to whine about it to get it out of my system.

On our way back from the storage place we drove around to look at a few houses from the outside that were for sale, just to see what neighbourhoods they were in, things like that. Some were really nice. One I really liked but it's pretty far from the three places we want to stay close to: My mom, our church and the children's school. It's fun to look.

Ok... I think I'm feeling better.

I Want A Bumbo

This is a Bumbo. It's a little seat type deal for babies that can't yet sit on their own. I've decided that Jordan absolutely needs to have one of these.

Today Ian and I went to Babies R Us to check these things out. As we were going into the store I was thinking in my head that if they were more than $24.99 we weren't getting one because I am cheap that way.

Forget the $24.99! These things are $59.99!!!!

Needless to say we left without buying one. I cannot justify that expense when she already has a swing and a Jumperoo.

I even checked out Ebay and even if I ordered one there it would still be close to the price of a new one once shipping is added.

I'm going to cave and buy one. I know I am. Sigh.

It's Happening...

Well, we're really doing it. We're really going to sell our house. There is so much to be done it's almost overwhelming. Things are pretty chaotic around here.

We've started packing up a lot of our belongings to reduce the amount of "stuff" in the house so that it will show better. We rented a storage unit this morning and have already taken a load over. I think Ian is heading over again this evening. My good china and crystal is being moved to my mom's basement this afternoon.

I can't believe it. I've wanted to move for so long but the timing never seemed right and there was always something stopping us. With Jordan's arrival we are completely out of space. Besides that, it's time to go now. Things are falling into place and it's time. It feels so strange. I am excited for a new home, a new beginning. But at the same time I am so sad. This was our first home. We drove by every single day while it was being built. Our children were born here. There are wonderful memories in this house. But... we will make more wonderful memories in our new home.

The children are very on board with this which helps a lot. At first Julie couldn't talk about it without crying, but now she is very excited. They wanted to be able to stay close to their Gram (my mom), and attend the same school and church. All of these things are important to Ian and me as well. I am sure there will be tears all around on moving day. Still... that is a way's off.

My friend lives on my street and she listed her home a week ago and it sold yesterday. This is very encouraging to us.

Well... back to it!

How much mess can one little 7 year old girl make?

A COLOSSAL MESS. That's what.

I have been cleaning Julie's room today. I have been pulling crap out from underneath her bed and behind her dresser... her closet is a disaster...toys everywhere....damn Polly Pocket crap... I SWEAR Polly's accessories multiply and scatter while we are sleeping.

All her barbies are naked. All of them. Where are the clothes? I have no idea. And the sole male barbie she has is headless. Where is his head? With the missing clothing I imagine.

Sigh.

She is store housing socks. Maybe she fears there will be a shortage. I am finding them everywhere, balled up no less.

Oh how I love this child.

Very Busy Weekend

Ian is off for five days and we have SO much to do to get this house ready to sell. Lots of clutter to get rid of, stuff to be moved to a storage unit, packing to be done. I hope we can keep a good pace going to accomplish as much as we can.

Last night we shook up our Family Night a bit. Instead of our usual pizza/movie date we all headed to the car wash to clean the van. Ian and the children power washed the outside while Jordan and I watched from inside. Then Ian and I vacuumed out the inside while the children windexed the windows and wiped out the mystery messes in their cup holders. Miss Jordan supervised.

Afterwards we all headed to McD's and the children played while Ian and I talked (and flirted!)

Jordan slept 6 1/2 hours in a row! Ian put her in her crib at 10 pm and we didn't hear from her until 4:30 am! I am hoping for a repeat performance this evening.

Well I am off... much to do!

Insert Deep Dramatic Sigh Here

You won't believe what Julie has on her arm from yesterday. A hickey. Yep. You read that right. She was "bored" in class and decided to suck on her arm. Its absolutely huge. She must have run out of flavour in that arm because she started in on the other one. Honestly. I am not naive... I always knew the day would come when my daughter would come home with a hickey. I just didn't ever expect it to be self imposed at the age of seven.

Sigh.

I am not feeling well. I have lost my voice and Ian keeps teasing me. I am sore all over and very tired. Yesterday I went to my mom's as usual and she took the children to school and then sent me to bed. I slept from 9:30 until 2:00. I didn't know I needed that much rest.

Sigh.

Today I stayed home with the full intent of getting some clutter spots cleared out. Jordan was a dream all day but I felt so run down I didn't accomplish anything. Then at 5:10 Jordan started screaming and crying for an hour. Nothing I did would settle her down. I've endured her fussy periods before but this was something entirely off the charts. She was absolutely inconsolable. I figured she had gas so I was walking the floor with her and alternating between patting and rubbing while she screamed louder and louder. Pretty soon we were both crying! Finally she burped and then let out this huge sigh of relief and then sank against my shoulder. Poor thing.

Sigh.

Ian is going to run me a bubble bath and then I will go to bed early. I have so much to do around here and I don't have time to be sick.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all my dear friends. I hope your day is as wonderful as mine has been and that you have been honoured in some way by your children.

This morning I woke very well rested since Ian got up with Jordan during the night so I could sleep through. Thank you Ian! (I wasn't crusty at all today!)He and the kids brought me flowers, tea, OJ and fresh cinnamon buns in bed. Ian gave me an ABBA cd(LOVE you Ian!!!) and my perfume that is impossible to find. Sam and Julie each gave me a rose that says "I love you!", "Happy Mother's Day!" and "Thank you for all that you do!" when you press them and Jordan gave me a set of mugs that say "I love Mommy" on them. Lots of cards and notes and Sam gave me a plant that he started at school for me. It was a wonderful start to the day.

We went to church for the 11 am service and all the mothers got carnations from the kids. Sam and Julie each chose yellow ones for me. At one point I looked down at Jordan expecting to see her still sleeping in my arms but instead was greeted with a huge smile. She has a dimple in her left cheek! She made a few people around us laugh when she passed gas twice during prayer time. I could have done without that part..LOL. A few people held her after the service and we headed home.

Ian and I had a great discussion this afternoon while the children played outside and Jordan napped. We were able to work through a few issues together which is always a good thing. It was really nice.

Ian made dinner as well - his famous IAN Tower (get it? CN...Ian....) of pancakes. YUM! He also put strawberries and banana slices around the plate. Very pretty presentation. Dessert was apple pie and ice cream. I have been wanting apple pie for a couple of weeks now and he must have remembered. He is so sweet.

Sam, Julie and Jordan ~ thank you for my wonderful day! You are such beautiful blessings and I truly love being your mother.

Ian ~ thank you for all the special touches you put on my day, for the gifts and cards and perfume! Thank you for making me feel so special and for honouring me and supporting in my role as mom.

St Jacobs

Today Ian and I headed out to St Jacobs with the kids to look around. I have only been there once and that was when I was pregnant with Sam. Ian had gone to look at cowboy boots and I suddenly felt like I was going to faint and two lovely amish ladies sat me down and got me water.

Today was gorgeous and it was so nice to walk around without having to wear a sweater. I came across a booth with glassware that had beautiful flowers painted on them. I ended up buying a vase with pink flowers on it to give my mom for mother's day. It is really gorgeous and I kind of wish I bought two of them so I could keep one. Ian told me to go back but I didn't. Oh well.. it will give me a reason to go back (girl's-day-road-trip Jen!)

We checked out the outlet mall and that's where things got weird. There is a group called the Red Hat Society. It's a women's only group that does some charity fundraising and goes on outings together (teas, ball games, etc). You will recognize them by their large red hats and purple outfits. If you are under 50 you wear pink hats and lavender clothing, over 50 you wear red hats and purple clothing. Anyway, I digress.

At this mall there was a bunch of "Red Hats" shopping. Everywhere Jordan and I went we were approached by these women. They fawned over my "absolutely gorgeous" baby, touching her (ugh) and rubbing her face (double ugh). A couple of them actually FOLLOWED us from one store to another before apologizing for staring at her but she was "absolutely gorgeous"! Ok, thanks ladies but you're creeping me out!

Ian had taken Sam and Julie upstairs to see the Lego store and once we hooked up again I was ready to go. I'd had enough of people touching my baby! I never know what to say and "stop touching my baby!" seems so rude.

We stopped for dinner at Swiss Chalet on our way home and I stepped out of my comfort zone and ordered something different. Oooh Kate... livin' on the edge!

Sam and Julie played outside with their bubble maker and made a few new friends. It's the first year they've been allowed to play outside without us so they haven't met any of these kids before. I hope they don't get too attached to them because we are still planning on moving!

Ikea!

Oh how I love Ikea!

Mom and I dropped the children off at school then headed over to Ikea to look around. Honestly.. that place has so much to see you almost need to spend a day there.

We found tons of things we liked then had lunch there. We had a bowl of pasta and a slice of garlic bread for $2.49! What a deal.

I wasn't looking for anything in particular but saw things I would like. Little juice glasses perfect for little hands...a gorgeous vase for $1.99...bunk beds that Julie would just love... on and on. I showed excellent reserve and didn't buy anything. Sigh.

Two elderly ladies were fussing over Jordan while we were having for lunch. They both knew boys named Jordan and didn't I know Jordan was a boy's name? They were surprised that she was only 6 weeks old and "mothers today just don't wait very long to take their babies out!"

We were pooped by the time we left. Mom bought some coloured plates and cups for the children to use when they are at her house.

I can't wait to go back!

Happiness Is....

.... making my husband laugh at my silliness and him making me laugh big belly laughs at his silliness

.... a spontaneous kiss and a "you know what Mom? I love you..." from Sam

..... quiet time spent with Julie after school, polishing her nails and talking about things that matter to her, and the look of total excitement when her tooth came out unexpectedly and the promise of a visit from the Tooth Fairy

.... another bouquet of dandelions from my children telling me yet again that they think of me when we are apart and want me to be happy and to feel special

.... quiet time spent cuddling Jordan when she is all warm and sleepy

.... a lazy visit with my mom talking about everything and nothing

.... a full tray of ice cubes when I want some in the diet pepsi that I keep forgetting to put in the fridge

All of these things I got to experience today alone. Not a bad day. Not bad at all.

Yes!

Success is mine!

Today I was able to get Jordan to nap someplace OTHER than in my arms.

Don't get me wrong, nothing makes me happier than arms full of a sleeping baby BUT my house is going to pot! It took me a couple of runs at it but I was able to get her to sleep in her playpen today.

With this newfound freedom I was able to....

~ Fold a basket of laundry
~ Tidy up the bathroom
~ Straighten up the livingroom
~ Windex my windows (it was about time!)
~ Straighten up the desk
~ Wash AND put away all the dirty dishes
~ Cooked a roast dinner
~ Booked an appointment for the Canadian Diabetes Association to pick up some donations
~ Completed TONS of thank you notes that I was falling behind on (she's five weeks old and the gifts just keep coming in!)
~ Talked with my mother on the phone
~ Had a 20 minute catnap

Not bad! It's now 10:30 and I am pooped! But in a really good way. There is still so much to do around here but at least I have a couple of places to go where things are in order!

That's about all I have the energy to blog about. There is always something happening around here that is blog-worthy but I am so d-o-n-e tonight.

Joke of the Day

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' License plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper Sticker, And the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, Naturally...

I assumed you had stolen the car."

Dandelions

This afternoon when I picked up the children after school they each greeted me with bouquets of dandelions that they had picked especially for me.

To most people, dandelions are annoying weeds that cover lawns and won't go away.

To me, they were two handfuls of love from two little people who were thinking of me and how to make me happy.

Thank you, my little ones. I love you so much.

My Daughters

I just had to post this picture of my two beautiful daughters.

Dedication Day

Today was Jordan's Dedication and it was lovely. She looked so angelic today, I can't even describe it. She slept so peacefully during the dedication portion, then when our Pastor held her and prayed over her, she opened her eyes and gazed up at him, almost as if taking in everything he was saying. The children joined us for the ceremony and I was so proud to be up there with my family. The Lord has blessed me so abundantly.

My mom came! A part of me thought that something would come up and she wouldn't be able to make it, but she was there. My heart was so full of praise for God as I sat beside her, worshipping Him together. I looked down the row at my husband, children, mother and inlaws and my eyes filled with tears as I silently thanked God for bringing us all together for the first time in over a year.

We took lots and lots of pictures then went out for lunch together afterwards. I was so worried that her day wouldn't be special, but it was. So much more than I could have hoped for.

Busy Weekend!

Lots going on this weekend. Today Sam and Julie are going to a birthday party and then I am going to a baby shower.

The mother-to-be this shower is for is 16 and while I don't know her personally, I do know her mother so I am going for her. This family has really touched my heart. My friend *K* has survived two rounds of cancer - thyroid cancer ten years ago and then breast cancer two years ago. She is a true survivor. They have two biological children, two adopted children and two foster children. And in a few short weeks she will have her first grandchild. Her daughter *G* has turned away from God since *K*'s second round of cancer and even now cannot bring herself to turn back. How I wish I could tell her that His love for her remains the same and that He stands ready to meet her wherever she is, all she has to do is ask. I cannot imagine what I would think if my 16 year old daughter came home and told me she was pregnant. Not the plans I would have had for her, for certain. But, there is purpose in everything and I can't wait to see what God does with this.

Tonight Ian and I are going to a going away party for friends of our who are leaving in a couple of weeks to serve The Lord in the DR of Congo, Africa for two years. It will be an emotional night for sure. I am so inspired at how they are following His will for their lives. They have pushed aside their doubts, fears, worries and insecurities to listen to Him. Wow. They sold their home, cars and possessions. They will say their goodbyes over the next couple of weeks and then they will be gone. I can't believe it. I will feel their absence deeply, but just as He will care for them while they are away, He will soothe their loss in my heart. Tonight's party is for family and close friends only but the church will hold a commissioning service and send off for them on the 21st. That will be a powerful night of worship and prayer. And no doubt, lots and lots of love, kisses and tears.

I talked to my mom and she is coming to Jordan's dedication tomorrow. This is a huge deal. I think she still continues to struggle with my choice to leave the Catholic church and I that the idea that her grandchild will not be baptized in that faith is hard for her to accept. Still, she is coming. She is coming! She is setting aside her feelings to celebrate this time in Jordan's life. I cannot express what that means to me.

Yesterday I bought Jordan a new dress for her dedication. Sam and Julie both wore a beautiful, long Christening gown for their special days. Easy peasy, as my dear Julie would say. But what does one wear to a dedication?? I have seen many children wearing everyday clothing. I wanted something special for Jordan and I wanted something white. I found a lovely white dress with light pink flowers embroidered on it, a very gentle pattern. The dress is sleeveless so I also bought her a little white sweater for the top. She will look beautiful.

Jordan's One Month Appointment

Today I took Jordan in for her one month appointment. The very fact that she is a month old already just blows my mind. Yet, it also feels as though she has been a part of our family forever.

I have to laugh at the difference between her 48 hour appointment and the one from today. At her 48 hour I was fumbling with her clothes, holding her awkwardly, unsure how to soothe her and what she liked and disliked. She wailed louder than any baby I had ever known and did it for the entire visit. I am sure we got a huge standing ovation when we left that day.

Today she was so much calmer - probably because *I* was calmer. I was more sure of myself in undressing her and handling her, we have a great bond now. I know what she wants pretty much as soon as she wants it. I love that.

My lovely little 8lb 9oz baby at birth is now 10 lbs 1 oz! Dr L said she is perfectly healthy and is in the 70th percentile for height and weight. We go back again for her 2 month appointment on May 30th and she'll get her first set of shots then.

This morning I actually succeeded in getting her to nap in the playpen. Usually she only wants me to hold her while she sleeps during the day. It took me a couple of attempts but I won in the end. She is sleeping peacefully and if my guess is right, she will be out for at least the next two hours. That's good because I have some touch-up painting to do in the hallway.

Jordan is being dedicated this Sunday. I have so many mixed feelings about it that I am trying to work through. I was raised Catholic and Sam and Julie were baptized in the Catholic church, with lots of friends and family present and parties at our home afterwards. Both wore the same gorgeous white lace gown and looked lovely. I was able to relax knowing that since they were baptized they were "safe" and would go to Heaven if they should die. Oh the things the Catholic church teaches us...

We have been attending a Baptist church for about 6 years now. I was baptized in Dec '04 which caused a lot of waves within my family. As a result, no one from my family came to support me that day. Ian and the children, of course, as well as my inlaws and a couple of friends, but no one from my family came. To this day it hurts my heart, but I try to understand.

In the Baptist church children are dedicated as babies and then baptized once they are older and are able to choose that for themselves. This is more biblically sound and therefore should calm my heart, yet I am still somewhat unsettled. It's so hard to let go of 30 years of untruthful teaching. I know in my heart that should anything happen to Jordan, my Father will take care of her regardless of whether she is baptized or dedicated or nothing at all. She is His afterall, only on loan to me until she returns Home. Just as Sam and Julie are.

I am uncertain if anyone from my family will be there this Sunday. Ian's parents will be. My church family will be. I have not invited people as I have for the other children because this is different. We will go out for lunch afterwards and perhaps have cake at home. Her celebration will come when she is baptized, whenever in the future that will be, just as her brother and sister were celebrated before her. Differently, yet no less special.

I guess this is my hang up about "everything must be equal" and "everything has to be the same". I have some OCD issues that I am always trying to work through.

I believe that God created Jordan and that he matched her with me for a purpose. I can't allow "stinkin' thinkin'" from previous teachings to influence what my heart knows is the best decision for her. She is safe with Him, no matter whether she is dedicated or sprinkled. She is His beautiful creation afterall.

:-)

This is how I spend most of my time! What a blessing!

Psalm 91

I came across this verse this morning in my readings and the timing is wonderful. He has spoken to me today.

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
8 Just open your eyes,
and see how the wicked are punished.
9 If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
10 no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
11 For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.
12 They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
13 You will trample upon lions and cobras;
you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!
14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
15 When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
16 I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”


Psalm 91

We're FLYing!!!

That's right... FLYing.

I discovered an awesome website flylady.net and it is all about getting your house - and life! - in order, 5, 10 or 15 minutes at a time.

FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. I really like that. I am so tired of beating myself up for having a messy home and suffering from CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). This website is helping me to pull the house together a little bit at a time while making new habits.

It all starts off with a shiny sink. Taking 15 minutes to wash whatever dishes are left and leaving a clean shiny sink sets the mood for the day. If you come downstairs to a sink filled with dirty dishes from yesterday, how will that make you feel? It makes me feel like going right back upstairs and going back to bed! But when my sink is empty and shining I am relaxed and feel that at least in that area I have some control and I feel motivated to tackle another area in need of cleaning or organizing.

The children are slowing getting excited about this program. The website sends TONS of emails a day and a lot of them I read and delete, some I save to inspire or motivate me later. But some of them are geared towards what the children can do. A couple of days ago I set my timer for 5 minutes and had the children collect 10 things from the main level of the house that belonged to them and take them to their room. Between the two of them they found 22 in the living room alone! In 5 minutes half the clutter was gone!

They are now regularly asking for "FLY jobs". So last night I had an idea. They say that it takes 30-40 days to create a habit. I made up a sign and hung it on the fridge door at their eye level and waited for them to notice it. Sam saw it first and called Julie over so they could read it together. It said that the FLY challenge for the month of May was to make their beds each morning. Whoever made their bed for all of the 31 days of May would receive a reward at the end of the month. They were pretty excited about the idea but a little afraid they would forget.

This morning as soon as Ian was up, I got up and made our bed. While I was playing with Jordan, Sam came in and smiled and pointed to my bed. "You remembered," he said. I smiled and nodded and asked him if he remembered too and his eyes were dancing as he nodded, smiling. Julie made sure hers was made before she left for school this morning.

This task took me a total of 3 minutes. I hate having to make the bed before I go to sleep just because I was too lazy to do it in the morning. At least I won't have to for the month of May!

My next idea is to create mini-challenges for the week. We have a long way to go to get things in order but we can do it!

Tough Day

Today the enemy is attacking me from all sides and I am having a hard time fighting him. I am so tired. Experience has taught me to be on guard for his attacks but he has snuck up on me today.

The enemy, of course, is Satan.

It never ceases to amaze me all the ways he can come up with to torment me. His favourite seems to be my dreams. He knows I cannot fight him there so he visits frequently and attacks swiftly. All my fears and weaknesses are attacked in my dreams. I am helpless.

He doesn't limit his attacks to nighttime. He attacks me during the day too. He is always whispering in my ear: you aren't good enough.... you are unlovable, unforgivable, unworthy.... you will never be anything other than what you are...a failure. He is relentless.

Today I feel his attacks from all sides. He knows I am tired and therefore weak. I hate that he is laughing at me.

He knows my heart is joyful and he hates it.

He knows I belong to Jesus and he hates it.

He knows that I walk and live and breathe The Truth and he hates it.

He knows the pain and the sadness on my heart and he uses it against me.

He knows all my sore spots and insecurities and fears and he exploits them all.

He loves it when I fall.
He hates it when I rise.

Ian and I are enduring a very painful and heartbreaking season, relying on God's love and mercy daily. Satan hates when I draw near to The Lord. The closer I am, the harder he attacks. He knows he can't have me, that I have given my life to Jesus, but he will still do what he can to torment and attack me. He is hateful and destructive.

The truth is that I am good enough.... I am lovable and loved, I am forgivable and forgiven, I am worthy.... I am who God says I am and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

He may have knocked me down a few times today but he cannot keep me down.


"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

Crazy Day

6:00 am ~ up with Jordan for the day

7:00 am ~ bathe Jordan

7:30 am ~ wake up the kids and start packing lunches

8:10 am ~ head out the door to take Ian to work

9:03 am ~ drop off kids at school

9:10 am ~ learn the absolutely devastating news that Tim Horton's has recalled their Steeped Tea and while it will come back one day, they have no idea when

9:20 am ~ arrive home to feed/change Jordan

10:50 am ~ head out to pick up Ian from work at 11:25

11:50 am ~ drop Ian off at the children's school so he can accompany Sam on his field trip

12:05 pm ~ arrive at Toys R Us to purchase a gift for a baby shower I am going to this weekend, but end up demonstrating how my carseat/stroller works to a family shopping

12:40 pm ~ met up with Jen and her adorable daughter Sarah for lunch at Swiss Chalet. Two waitresses repeatedly touched, stroked and poked Jordan. Lots of cooties there

2:05 pm ~ arrive back at the school to pick Ian up to take him back to the office. Bus is late so I catch a 7 minute catnap.

2:30 pm ~ bus arrives and I sign out both children at 2:45 pm because there is no way I will be able to get Ian back to work and then back to the school to get the children by 3:40.

3:30 pm ~ drop Ian off at his office :-(

3:45 pm ~ arrive at Erin Mills Town Centre. Nothing there that grabs me for the shower this weekend.

4:15 pm ~ Dairy Queen! 'Nuff said.

4:25 pm ~ buy some Pretzel Bits to take to Ian

4:50 pm ~ arrive at Ian's office building. The kids climb trees out back to pass the time.

5:00 pm ~ pick up Ian and head for home

5:20 pm ~ stop at Blockbuster for Ian to buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV

5:40 pm ~ arrive at A & P to do some grocery shopping

6:20 pm ~ head for home...thinking about putting on my jammies and relaxing for the night...or so I thought...

6:30 pm ~ Julie asks me if we are still going to go shopping for her shoes. I forgot I had promised her.

6:40 pm ~ drop off Ian, Sam and Jordan along with all the groceries then head over to Wal-Mart to buy Julie's shoes.

7:10 pm ~ Arrive home, fix the kids a late dinner and put away a few groceries.

No wonder I was so tired!

Best Husband Ever

I have to brag about my Ian.

Yesterday I was beyond tired. I'd had only three hours of sleep on Sunday night and I was so exhausted on Monday morning. Jordan would fuss every time I put her down and cried so much throughout the day. I had to let her cry at one point while I went to the bathroom and I came out to find that she'd cried so hard she threw up.

By the time Ian came home I was a mess. And do you know what he did for me?

1) Picked up Chinese for me for dinner
2) He washed my favourite flannel sheets for our bed & made it up for me
3) Cleaned his bathroom and ran me a bubble bath (perfect temperature!)
4) Set me up with candles, a glass of wine, soft music and a fresh towel
5) Sent me to bed early giving me a solid six hours of uninterrupted sleep

And that's not all!

He picked up some groceries on his way home, gave Sam another bike riding lesson, then watched the children & fed them dinner, got them into bed, prepared bottles of formula for Jordan and washed the dishes so I would come down to a clean sink this morning.

What a blessing this man is. He was tired too and had worked all day, but he spent his entire evening taking care of me and the children.

Thank you Ian... I love you.

Success is MINE!

I finished painting the upstairs hallway today. All I have left to do is to paint the baseboards, window ledge and door frames but I want to wipe/wash them first. I can now scratch that off my To Do list. I'm frustrated at myself that it took me so long to paint - we've been in this house for almost 10 years and have never painted that area. It looks so fresh and clean. I should have done it years ago. We deserve to enjoy our living space. We've never painted our bedroom either. I don't know when I will find time to work on that room.

I was almost finished when Ian and the kids came home. He wanted to run me one of his amazing bubble baths for me to relax in and I was so tempted to take him up on it but the fact that I hadn't completed this job was niggling at me. I wanted to finish it TODAY and I DID! I feel proud of myself and ready to take on the next item on my list.

My kitchen still rocks and my appliances are still sparkly. Tonight Sam scrubbed crayon off the cabinets in the kitchen (yes, I know... crayon on the cabinets.. how the heck did that happen...?) and swept the floor. Julie put leftovers away into the fridge and helped me while I finished my painting project. They were freaking me out asking what else they could do.

HELLO! Did Ian bring the right children home with him from his parents' place???

I'm feeling pretty good about myself today. This was a great weekend. Family time, time alone with Ian, a visit with my mom, church this morning & seeing friends, a nap, a clean kitchen and one project completed. Good stuff.

I don't know what's gotten into me but I like it.

Quiet

My house is so quiet. Ian has taken The Herd up north to his parent's house for the remainder of the day so I can paint the upstairs hallway undisturbed. They have been gone for only about 5 minutes and my heart has started to feel heavy. I love my family and I love being with them. I hate it when they are apart from me. I know that they will have a great time, and the my inlaws will love on those kids like crazy, and I will be able to knock off the upstairs hallway from my Things To Do List...but still... I am in love with my family and any time spent away from them makes me sad.

Jordan made her debut at church this morning. Because of our plans for the day, we chose the early service. I was glad because the first service typically has less people, and less people = less cootie infested peeps asking to hold my baby. Ha. Only one person asked and I couldn't say no since she lent me a gorgeous moses basket. Everyone said she was beautiful and many said she looks like me (poor kid.. let's hope she grows out of that) She slept throughout the entire service which was good.

Today I was looking at Julie while she was sitting on the couch playing with her DS. When did she get so big? When did I look away long enough for her to turn into this long legged beauty? Wasn't she just born a year or so ago? Time flies.... time flies...

Last night was amazing. My mother came to watch the CHILDREN (ha Jen, that was for you) so that Ian and I could go out for dinner alone to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary (Apr 20). We went to The Keg for dinner and while the food was excellent as always, what I loved was time alone with Ian, holding hands across the table like we used to when things were new and fresh, the way he looked at me, like I was beautiful. I felt shy at times and our time together had such a "new" feel to it. We've had a hard couple of years (who am I kidding.. we've gone through just about everything a marriage goes through in a lifetime, yet we've seen it all in 12 years) but sitting there, seeing in his eyes the love he has for me, it was like all those years just peeled away and we were those innocent young adults again. After dinner we went to see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". I really liked it. We don't get out much these days so we have to be very picky when choosing a movie so it's good that this one was funny.

So, the other day I bought all sorts of cleaning supplies. I am not a housekeeper... I despise housework. I know everyone does, but I REALLY REALLY do. When I was growing up we always had a cleaning service and when I got married I had no idea how to clean anything. Not that I wanted to learn mind you. Fast forward 12 years and I still don't want to learn. Anyway... I spent time looking at all the products and reading what they do. I ended up buying this Lysol kitchen cleaner stuff, not really knowing if it would work. I couldn't very well ask people what to use to clean because then they would wonder what the heck I've been doing all along. Well.. let me tell you... this stuff was AMAZING. It took off marks from everything. My stove looks brand new!! My friend Jen called while I was cleaning and I must have sounded like some sort of commercial as I told her about this product. I'm surprised I didn't demand that she go out and buy some right then. Jen then new my secret... I am a newbie to cleaning. From the stove I went to my dishwasher... EVERYTHING came off... then I took everything off my fridge and guess what? It looks as new as my stove. Prepare yourselves, my dear 2 readers.. I even mopped the kitchen floor.

I wonder if all the other stuff I bought to clean with will bring me such joy and excitement. It feels like Christmas.

Jordan sees the doctor this Friday for her one month appointment. How is it that she has been here for a month already? She has filled out so much and has such a healthy look to her. I will be interested to know how much weight she's put on.

Sigh... so much to do before the house is ready to list. I am hoping to hire someone to clean up the yard and do some painting and repairs soon. I really, really want to have the house listed by May 15th, but it's going to take so much work. Our original date to list was May 1st but we jacked around too much and well, that's just not going to happen. Now it's May 15th and I really don't want to have to bump the date again. The CHILDREN (ha Jen) are so excited about being able to look for a new home and Ian and I are ready to get things underway. We're jammed in here pretty tight.

Well, guess what? The hallway isn't going to paint itself so I'll sign off for now.

Bring The Rain

This is one of the most beautiful and moving blogs I have ever come across. The unshakable faith this family has is an example to all of us who claim the title of Christian.

This blog is the journey of a precious child who was created by our Heavenly Father, but was not meant for this earth. The most recent entry is a song written from her experience. If you have lost a child, be it from the early weeks from conception or been blessed to see their precious face, this song will touch you.


I Will Carry You

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One whose chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One whose chosen Me
To carry you

Poor Jordan

She had such a rough night last night. I think she might have a cold and she's breathing all "snarfy". I ran the shower for as long as the hot water lasted and she was breathing normally again but once I put her in the crib she was snarfin' within minutes.

She's napping right now and her breathing is normal at the moment. I might need to take her to the doctor today. Poor little thing.

Song

I came across this song today and when I looked up the lyrics for it I started to cry. It's such a basic song, a basic cry. I thought I'd post it here for anyone to read.

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give, thats my everything

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now, i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
This is all that I can say right now [right now], i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.
And this is all that I can say right now, oh i know its not much.
But this is all that I can give, yeah thats my everything.

I am a bad, bad, blogger.

I never seem to have any time to blog! My readers - all two of them - must be so disappointed in me!

It's been another busy week. I missed church on Sunday. I was trying to get up my nerve to take Jordan and brave those with cooties who would want to hold her. I don't know how to deal with people who ask if they can hold her. I have a hard time saying no to begin with, so this is really a challenge for me. I worry about germs and about her being handled too much. The best I have come up with to say if anyone asks if they can hold her is "perhaps after the service. I don't know how she will do during it and I don't want her to fuss with someone else". I know... it sounds weak even as I type it. Then after the service hopefully she will be sleeping and I can suggest next time as she is sleeping now... I don't know. I feel bad because these people have been so excited for us and praying for us and then I won't let them hold my baby? Maybe I am nuts to worry about this. Maybe they'll think she's a little creep and that will be that.

Monday I took the kids for their dental appointments. Julie was very nervous and it took a long while for the hygenist to clean her teeth properly. I understand that, I've always been afraid of dentists. After school I took them for haircuts and I am happy to report that Sam's hair is now a proper, clean length.

Tuesday I missed my housegroup meeting because I was beyond tired. I miss the girls but I just don't have the energy come 7pm. I am going to have to drop out of that group because there is just too much going on.

Wednesday morning my mom and I went down to the school to hear Julie read over the announcements. She did a great job! I am so proud of her.

Today I bought $70 worth of cleaning products then never cleaned. Sigh. I took the kids out for ice cream after school.

Tomorrow is family night. Saturday night my mom is coming to watch the children so Ian and I can go out for dinner together and see a movie afterwards. I'm really looking forward to a date with Ian.

I think I'm going to start painting the upstairs hallway on Sunday. We have SO much work to do to get this house ready to list. Decluttering, cleaning, painting, repairs. We need to hire someone to paint the exterior of the house and to clean up the yard and shape our gardens. Crazy. I want that For Sale sign on my lawn on May 15th. Talk about a challenge.

Crazy Week

What a week. I can't believe it's Thursday night.

Monday ~ Ian insisted that I "take the night off". I felt so bad because a) I would be leaving him with the entire herd and no help and b) I really, really wanted to get out of the house. He is so good to me that way, ensuring that I have time for myself to recharge. I went to the movies by myself which I love to do. I invited my friend Jen to come with me to see Prom Night but she revealed that she's a big baby who doesn't like scary movies so I ended up going alone. I've never gone to a scary movie before so I kept looking behind me to make sure no one was sneaking up on me. Afterwards I walked around Wal-Mart and bought myself three magazines. I kept looking around for the children, then would remember I was on my own. It felt weird. I thought about going to Second Cup to read and have a cup of tea but by then I was really tired.

Tuesday ~ Ian took the children to the local pool to give Julie a swimming lesson. Apparently it didn't go so well because she screamed and cried and embarassed Ian. He came home all red-faced and super cross. He said all the parents and lifeguards were looking at him like he was the worst parent ever. So... we won't be going back to that pool again.

Wednesday ~ Jordan had her hearing test done at the hospital and passed in both ears. The woman doing the test kept calling in her co-workers to see the "beautiful" baby. I expressed some concerns about Jordan's ears so she went and got two nurses from the NICU to check her over as well. (I am lame, I know) After that we went to pick up Ian for lunch and he was able to leave for the day so we stopped in at Fisher Price and bought a toy for Jordan and a birthday gift for a party Jules is going to this weekend. Later on we all went to a different pool so Ian could try giving Julie another lesson. It went better than the night before so we might be able to return to that place.

Today ~ I was up a lot with Jordan during the night and I was so tired this morning. It was all I could do not to snap at the kids while getting them ready. I eventually cried in the car on the way to my mother's because I was so tired. Mom took them to school so I could rest on the couch and then sent me to my old room to sleep and watched Jordan for me. I slept from 11am until 2:30 pm. GLORY! Man was I tired. After school I took the kids to the park for an hour since it was such a beautiful day. What a gift this weather has been after that long winter.

Tomorrow I am going to clean my house or die trying. Saturday Julie has a birthday party to go to and Ian's aunt and uncle are visiting in the afternoon. Sunday I think I will bring Jordan to church and I might take Jules mini-golfing in the afternoon for our girl-time. Monday the kids have dental appointments, Tuesday is an early-release day, Wednesday I am at the school to hear Julie read a bible verse on the announcements..... crazy crazy.

I am off to bed now. I hope I get a bit more sleep tonight!

Settling In

Well Miss Jordan is now 2 weeks old and we are still completely in love with her. She is a very good sleeper. Ian stays up with her at night and puts her down at 12:30am. She'll wake up around 4:30 for a diaper change, bottle and a cuddle and go back to sleep by 5am, then will wake any time between 8-10am. She LOVES to be held and we are always happy to oblige her.

Today she had several "wakeful" periods where she just stares up at me. She gave me two huge gorgeous smiles this afternoon and has a dimple! I know, I know... it's gas...but still... she just looked so happy!

Friday I took Jordan in to Ian's office for him to show her around. Everyone said she was beautiful and fussed over her. Afterwards, I went to visit my friend Jen. We intended to only be there for tea but stayed for lunch and then Jen took some pictures of Jordan. (Especially her feet. I love baby feet) After that we went to the mall and then to visit my mother, picked up the children after school, went to pick up Ian and then went to Chuck E Cheese for dinner. Busy day! Jordan was absolutely pooped.

My poor little Julie has some sort of bug. She came home from school on Thursday night with a fever and feeling sick. She crashed on the couch practically as soon as she got home. Friday she felt well enough to go to school but come Saturday was feeling sick again so she stayed in the house with Jordan and me. I kept her home from church today as well just to make sure she was rested for school tomorrow. I hate when the children are sick. They are so small.

Sam should be on cloud 9 right about now. Ian took him out this afternoon to get a new Nintendo DS since his old one died this morning. I know nothing about these game systems except that they are important to the children. Yesterday he and Ian went to Laser Quest and played a couple of games and Sam is now a member. He loved it!

That's about all the time I have to blog for now.

Until next time...

So Excited!!

Today I heard the best news! I wish I could go into it here but I can't. It's sooper sekret.

Congratulations, my friend. God is so good, is He not? He knows the deepest desires of our hearts and He works for the good of those who love Him.

I am so pleased for you. Let the fussing begin!!

Report Card Time & Stuff

The children brought home their report cards today and Samuel surprised me by bringing home a C+ and being very cavalier about it. He is a mostly A student so this was very surprising. A few of his grades have gone down but only by a smidge. I think he has gotten very comfortable with being a top student and perhaps hasn't been putting forth the effort to maintain his good grades. All in all, it's still a really good report card and he will still be rewarded for his hard work.

Julie's report card was terrific. Her grades either went up or stayed the same and she is now a mostly A student as well. Her conflict resolution and cooperation has gone up as well. I'm really pleased with her because she took her work and behaviour seriously enough to improve on them. She will be rewarded as well.

Tonight Ian is taking Sam and Jules to the swimming pool to start teaching Julie how to swim. We bought her a new bathing suit as a bribe. (Some bribe... she needed a new one anyway!) She is not thrilled about the lesson, but very thrilled about her new bathing suit. She doesn't like to get her face or hair wet at all and she is scared about going under water. Sam has become a little fish and is looking forward to helping Ian teach Jules. It's so sweet to hear Sam encouraging Julie that she can do this.

Jordan had a rough night last night. She is all stuffed up and Ian sat with her in the bathroom with the shower running for as long as he could stand it, and we ran the vaporizer all night next to her crib but she was still stuffed up. She was very fussy today, wanting to be soothed and cuddled constantly. She hardly slept or ate at all. I gave her a bath in the late afternoon and she is now sleeping peacefully in her swing. I hate that she is under the weather when she is only a week and a half old. I might take her to the doctor. She also has a gooey eye too, which I think is a blocked tear duct. (She cried tears yesterday! So cute) If she has another night like last night I will try to get her in to see the doctor.

I am tired, but a good tired. I love my life. I love that I am at home even though my house is a complete disaster. I have the energy to do something about it, but Jordan needed all my focus and attention today. Tomorrow is another day!

So In Love

Yesterday I spent the day home alone with Jordan, just cuddling her. It is amazing to me how the hours just slipped by and all I was doing was loving her.

At one point I noticed my cheeks were wet and I realized I was crying in gratitude for her presence in my life. I have tried many times to thank God for her, for keeping her safe, for answering all my prayers for her and for being in every single detail. But the words don't come. All I can do is just trust that He knows my heart and the praise, love and gratitude within. He is so good to me.

She is such a sweet baby, so warm and cuddly. She calms at my touch and rarely cries. She is sleeping for 4 1/2 stretches through the night, waking only for a diaper change and a bottle. She is such a blessing.

Early Days

It's so hard to believe that Jordan is only a few days old. It feels as though she has been with us forever. Well, she *has* been with me for 9 months, but I think you know what I mean. We love having her here so much.

Her first night home was so fun. We were all tripping over one another to take care of her. She woke a fair bit during the night for cuddles and we were more than happy to oblige her.

Ian was home yesterday and I'm going to call it as I saw it - he was hogging the baby. If her diaper needed changing, he did it. If she fussed, he got her. If she was hungry, he fed her. UGH. *I* wanted her! LOL.

I ran a few errands in the morning then my mom dropped by in the afternoon to see Jordan. Then the kids came home and wanted to hold her. I thought for sure I would get her once they went to bed but NO... Ian had her again! Sigh. I actually thought about breastfeeding JUST so she would be mine alone. How selfish is that???

I finally got her all to myself, cuddled, changed and fed her at midnight. She slept until 4:30 then woke for a diaper change and a feeding and put her down again at 5am and she slept until 7:30! I felt so rested. Ian asked if I had to get up with her much during the night and I was happy to report how well she had done.

Jordan's cord stump came off today. Very early I must say. Mom and I took her to the doctor for her 48-72 hour check up. Dr L said she was PERFECT and didn't need to come back until her one month appointment. She is now 8lbs 4 oz but it's normal to lose a bit of weight in the early days. We talked all about germs and vaccinations. I felt like a first time mother all over again. She didn't like him poking and prodding her and cried and turned beet red. I felt all proud when Dr L told me that I did a great job throughout my pregnancy and that he heard I was great during the delivery.

I just have to insert this while doing a happy dance - three pregnancies and three deliveries and no hemorrhoids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom and I took Jordan to meet my aunt then went out for a girl's lunch. My inlaws came at 5pm to visit and even brought dinner!

That's it for now....

She's Here - Part 2

Where was I... oh yes, Michelle asked me if iI wanted Jordan on my chest. I was SO thrilled to have that opportunity. Sam and Julie both had issues when they were born so I didn't get to see them for a bit. One of my (many!) prayers was that I would be able to have her right away.

I nearly fell off the bed when they said she was 8lbs 9oz. I was expecting another 7lb baby! We took lots of pictures and passed her around then my mom headed home. Ian headed off shortly afterwards so he could go home and be there when the children woke up so he could tell them their new sister had arrived.

I was moved to a private room about three hours after her birth. I wanted to upgrade to a private initially because the idea of sharing a room and bathroom with some woman's husband was freaking me out a bit. The only room they had was a private so I was all over that. I'm so glad too, because babies were crying everywhere.

Ian came back with the children around 10:30 and it was so precious to see them meeting her. Sam held her first and told Ian it was the happiest day of his life. Julie held her next and marveled at how small everything was. Ian took Sam for a tour of the main floor of the hospital and checked out the gift shop and Tim Horton's, then came back and took Julie for a bit for the same tour. All in all they stayed about four hours before heading off.

I had tons of visitors throughout the afternoon and I was so exhausted by the time visiting hours were over. It's really hard to get any rest in that hospital - nurses kept coming in for some reason or another. Jordan had a bit of a rough night. She was fine to sleep as long as I was holding her, but I was so tired myself, so once I thought she was sleeping I'd lay her in her crib only to have her wake up. She just wanted to be cuddled, I think.

The nurse that was assigned to me kept coming to my room every time Jordan cried. I was always doing something wrong: over feeding her, under feeding her, wrapping her wrong, changing her diaper wrong, I shouldn't have music playing, on and on and on. Finally I took her for a walk and this same nurse tracked me down and scolded me for leaving the ward. I almost called Ian at 3:30 in tears because she was bothering me so much, but I knew if I did he'd be at the nurse's station at 6am ready to rip her a new one. So I just let it go.

Said Nurse took Jordan at 7am for some bloodwork and then scolded me for a) not sleeping while she was gone (didn't know I was supposed to) and b) for opening a new bottle when she just fed and changed her (ok, didn't know you were going to do that, but thank you). I called Ian to let him know I could leave at 9am and was SO glad to see him and the kids again. Julie missed having me at home.

So there you have it... believe it or not, a shortened version of my lovely daughter's birth story. We are all so happy to have her home.

She's Here!

Jordan Theresa Faith joined our family on Saturday March 29th at 5:31 am, weighing 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches long. She is so beautiful.

The hospital was to call us at 8am on Friday to tell us when to come in for the induction. We didn't hear anything until 9am when they called to tell us they were completely swamped and would call us back around noon, and to make sure I ate breakfast. (Aww) No one called at all so Ian called them at 2pm and was told they were still swamped and would call back in an hour. After spending the day reading, praying and relaxing, the kids came home at 4pm and were so disappointed to see us still at the house! Finally the hospital called at 4:30 asking us to start making our way in. We called my mom and once she arrived we headed off.

We checked in at L & D at 4:55 and were told there weren't any beds available, not even in triage, and had to wait. Ian was frustrated because after all, they just called us to come! We settled in and who walked in about 30 minutes later? Our pastor and friend, Ed. He visited with us for 45 min and then we all prayed together before he headed off. He was in the hospital visiting someone from the church and thought he'd stop in. I felt so calm after the prayer time.

I finally saw the doctor on call about 7pm and after an internal exam, he said he would be back shortly to let us know how we would proceed. He wanted to break my water but I wanted an epidural first. At 9pm we were told to start walking. Mom got settled in the lounge with a book and off Ian and I went, checking out various parts of the hospital. I felt occasional tightness in my belly but just thought it was Jordan stretching so we continued on. When we came back in an hour my mom was feeling my belly and asking me if I felt any contractions. Nope, just Jordan stretching. We were assigned a room just before midnight and I was put on a monitor and apparently I had been contracting after all! It wasn't Jordan stretching, I was contracting every 2 minutes. I ask you, how blonde did I have to be to not know I was in labour? Duh Kate!

I had an epidural put in place just after midnight and at 12:30 my water was broken and at 12:40 the pitocin was started. I was so sleepy after the epidural so I had a nap. Mom watched a movie on Ian's laptop and Ian watched something on his PSP. After awhile he dozed off so Mom and I talked quietly for a bit.

Around 5am I started feeling a lot of pressure and discomfort. I kept pressing the button on my epidural but it didn't feel as though it was doing anything at all. I kept begging my nurse Michelle to find "The Guy" (anesthesiologist) to help me. "Where's The Guy?" "Please go find The Guy!" "I NEED THE GUY!"

By this time the dr was checking me every other minute or so and I kept dialating until I was the full 10 cm and was good to start pushing. I don't know how many times I pushed or for how long but all of a sudden Michelle was asking me if I wanted her on my chest and then there she was in all her beauty.

I'll write more later...Jordan needs me :-)

Nervous

Looks like today is the day. Jordan's Birth Day. I am a mess of emotion.

The hospital called this morning to let us know they haven't forgotten about us, they are really swamped in L & D this morning and they will call back around noon. They also wanted to make sure I was eating my breakfast. Awww.

I am on the verge of tears. I'm so excited but also scared too. I feel like barfing but I won't because my toast was pretty good.

I can't believe this day is here. I really, truly can't. It feels like only last week that I got my positive pregnancy test and now I am about to have her.

Julie is so scared for me. She was crying in the night for me, she said. She doesn't want me to be sick or in pain or bleed. We spent some time together this morning in prayer and I also slipped a note of encouragement into her lunch bag for today. Sam was going around the house singing this morning about how "Jordan's going to be born today!"

It's a strange feeling.... everything that is "normal" is about to change. The family Ian and I have nurtured is about to change. We will soon have a little tiny person to bring into the fold, someone who will have her own qualities and opinions and mind.... I just can't wait to meet her.

I am overwhelmed at how many phone calls, emails, facebook messages, you name it, I've received this past week. Each of them full of love, support, encouragement and prayer. I have a wonderful family and circle of friends. I am richly blessed.

Very Rough Night

Last night I had a wonderful bubble bath that really helped my back ache and cramps. I was in bed by 10 pm but woke up at 1am with more bachache, cramping, pressure and a little bit of nausea thrown in for fun. Ian brought me a cold washcloth and turned down the heat in the house but I still felt awful and went downstairs to watch some tv and see if it turned into anything.

Bless his heart, Ian came right down with me and we watched tv until I fell asleep around 3 or 4am. He was supposed to go in to work today but is off now until Tuesday so he can be around in case anything happens today.

It's weird - I didn't go into labour on my own with Sam and Julie but it feels like that is what is happening now. I can handle it, I just don't like the nausea part of it. As my dear friend Jenny V says "it's all in a day's work".

I am off to rest in bed for a bit. I have so much I need to do today and I just pray I have the strength to do it all.

Due Date!

Today is Jordan's due date! I woke up feeling so excited and emotional even though I didn't expect her to arrive today at all.

I went to my doctor's appointment this afternoon and my blood pressure readings were 154/100 and 160/100. He was not thrilled. Her heartbeat was good, I've lost 1 1/2 lbs (can I get a woot woot!) and the resident that saw me first estimated her to be 8-9 lbs (say what??).

My doctor sent me for bloodwork and told me to go home and "lay low" and he would have his office call the hospital to book my induction. I checked my messages before I got home and they had already called. I will be induced on Friday the 28th. I need to be ready to go by 8am and someone from the hospital will call with the time to come in.

I am a mess of emotion - nervous, anxious, scared.... but excited and peaceful and teary. I have waited so long for her and she will be in my arms this weekend.

Ian and I finished up Julie's birthday shopping today and after all that walking I am feeling a lot of pressure and back ache. I'm really looking forward to the bubble bath that Ian runs for me every night and then a good night's rest. Tomorrow I have housework to do to get things ready for my aunt who will be watching my children while I deliver.

We gave Julie some of her birthday gifts tonight and took her to Swiss Chalet (her favourite restaraunt) for dinner even though her birthday isn't until tomorrow. We'll give her the rest of her gifts and have my mom and aunt over for cake tomorrow evening to celebrate the actual day. We've stretched her birthday out quite a bit this year so she wouldn't be lost in the excitement of her new sister's arrival. She is so happy that she will be able to keep her own birthday!

Well I am off to fold some laundry and get ready for bed.

Update

Still waiting on my little princess Jordan. I talk to her all the time telling her to "come out, come out, wherever you are!" but she just isn't ready. I'm not feeling anything at all other than lazy and tired. Today all I did was lay around on the couch reading a book.

Good Friday was really nice. Ian wrote and acted in a drama presentation for our church that had a really great impact. After that we went out to lunch with some old and new friends which was nice. Then I had a three hour nap in the afternoon. (blush)

Saturday we ran a bunch of errands and did some grocery shopping. I had hoped that with all that walking something would have started but no...

Sunday was the Easter Sunday service which was really nice. I heard a lot of "how much longer?" "you aren't supposed to be here" and "haven't you had that baby yet". And got lots of belly rubs. I've given up on that now LOL. I can't stop people from doing it and it's almost over now. Instead of getting frustrated I just appreciate that so many people are happy for us. We then went to my mom's for Easter dinner. YUM.

Today Ian had to go back to work and I said ~ in what I suspect might have been a bit whiny ~ "do you really have to go to work today?" Poor guy. Shortly after he left I was getting the children's breakfast and heard him come in. He'd decided to work from home. Yay! It was nice having him around. He even took the children to the mall this afternoon so I could have some peace and quiet.

Not much else is new. I'm putting away Jordan's clothes and finishing packing my bag. It's weird... waiting like this. I see my doctor on Wednesday so maybe he'll get something started.

Come on Jordan!

13 Things For No Reason

1. Name 3 things you like the smell of.
An apple pie in the oven, rain, flowers

2. Name 3 things you like the feel of.
Ian's hand holding mine, my fuzzy slipper socks, a hot washcloth on my face

3. Name 3 things you do every day, that you hate to do.
Wash my hair (ok this is every other day but still I hate it), get up before I'm ready, clean something

4. Name 3 things you need from the store.
I can't think of anything

5. Name 3 things your dh/so likes to do more than you do.
Play video games, shop and watch comedy shows

6. Name 3 things your dh/so likes to eat more than you do.
Wings, ribs and cotton candy

7. Name 3 things you like to do more than your dh/so does.
Sleep, walk and watch reality tv

8. Name 3 things you like to eat more than your dh/so does.
Pasta, apple pie and garlic bread

9. Name 3 things you like that are green.
Freshly cut grass, broccoli and lettuce

10. Name 3 things you like that are white.
Mashed potatoes, snow and milk

11. Name 3 things you don't have, that you think most people do have.
Two cars, clean homes and updated laundry put in their proper drawers

12. Name 3 ways you've gotten better over the past 10 years.
More reserved, more accepting and more forgiving

13. Name 3 ways you're "worse for the wear" of the past 10 years.
Heavier, more wrinkles and I sleep like a senior citizen

7 Days To Go

I saw my doctor this morning for my weekly appointment. My blood pressure was higher than last week which he said was good because then he will have grounds for an induction should we choose that route. He said we'd talk about it at next week's appointment.

I've gained 1/2 a lb (sigh...moo) and my measurements haven't changed from last week so he thinks Jordan may be moving down a bit and is guestimating she will be around the 7 lb mark. Her heart rate continues to be at 150. All is well.

I saw two newborns at the doctor's office today and it made me all excited! She's coming! She's coming!

This afternoon I bought some toiletries for my hospital stay and will finish my bag tonight. I have so much laundry to put away for Jordan it isn't even funny! I don't know where I will put it all.

Last night Ian had to take our cat Max to the vet because he's been crying a lot lately, throwing up and dragging/licking his butt. Turns out he has a blockage in his urethra. They had to give him a shot to chill him out so they could drain everything and then flush water around his bladder. Ian said he was completely stoned. He is coming home tonight so we're all looking forward to his return. Poor little fellow.

That is all.

So Tired

Today I feel so crusty and I can't wait to go to bed. I feel completely overwhelmed with crap that is going on right now. I want to stick my head in the sand but that's part of what contributed to some of the crap going on. So frustrating. I've cried so much these last few days. Lame.

On a positive note, I went and got my hair done today. She did my roots and then perked up the overall colour and cut it. I feel so pretty now. I've felt so ugly for the longest time and now I feel better when I look in the mirror. It was a huge expense that really I shouldn't have spent but I'm just needed to feel better.

Hopefully tomorrow I will feel like myself again. Tonight I just feel like an overwhelmed, emotional, ticked off mess.

9 Days To Go!

I can't believe the end is nearing. Soon I will be a mom to three children. I will have my own "herd" as I told my friend Jen yesterday.

I'm not feeling much physically except what is to be expected at 9 months. Lower back discomfort, some achiness in my legs, all over achiness actually and fatigue. Nothing terrible though - I've had a very easy time so far. I've had a few bouts of energy lately so I'm trying to maximize that. I need to get my housework done and then I can relax, wait and enjoy. Tonight I actually made dinner and we ate at the table like normal people. I even baked cookies!

Today I washed three loads of baby clothes. I'd forgotten how wonderful baby clothes freshly washed in Ivory Snow smell. I'd sniff then fold...sniff then fold.... Everything I want to take to the hospital has been washed and folded and I just need Ian to reach my suitcase for me so I can pack everything.

Jordan will wear the same gown home from the hospital that Julie did. It's a flannel gown with smocking on the front with pink ribbons. My grandmother made three for each granddaughter years and years ago, for their babies to wear home from the hospital. Sam wore his and so did Julie. I love that there is a piece of my grandmother with us on such special days. (I'm also packing Sam's blue gown just in case Jordan is a he and the technician was wrong!)

Tomorrow I am getting my hair done and frankly I can't wait. I have felt so ugly the entire pregnancy and I want to look good not just for myself, but for Ian as well. My regular stylist is on mat leave but the lady I am seeing tomorrow comes highly recommended. I hope she is ok! I am a freak about my hair.

That's about all for now. I am getting ready to go to bed. Missed my nap today! ;-)

Exhausted

Last night I hardly slept at all and when I finally did fall asleep just after 5:30 I had all sorts of bad dreams.

I did all my dishes and put them away, wiped down the crib and change table completely, re-made the crib, put away all of my lovely shower gifts, made a pile of baby stuff to wash and put some other laundry away. I would have cleaned my bathroom but as it was I already woke Ian up.

At 3am after giving up on any semblance of good tv, I went upstairs to continue puttering. Who did I pass in the hallway? My dear hamster friend Sunny. Honestly... she attempts a prison break once a week! She was coming down the hall from my room, undoubtedly disappointed that she couldn't scare me since I wasn't there. I tried to catch her but she kept jumping out of my hands. Finally I had to wake Ian to come and catch her for me. Ugh.

Jules came in at 4am having awoken from a bad dream so I let her sleep with me. What a mistake! She punched me three times in her sleep!

My back was hurting so much that by 5am I couldn't take it anymore so I ran a warm bath and sat with the jacuzzi jets on for a half hour. It helped but I am still so sore today. I think I overdid it last night.

Today Ian and the kids are at the church setting up lights and the jail cell for this Friday's drama piece. The house is so quiet. I have a lot of things to do but maybe I will just lie down and enjoy the quiet.

It's up! It's up!

The crib that is! And the change table!

Ian surprised me by even making up the crib with the beautiful new bedding that my mother bought for us and it looks sooo pretty.

All we need is a baby!

So Excited!!!

Today Ian is assembling Jordan's crib and change table! I can't believe her arrival is just around the corner!

Today I'm going to wash her clothes and pack my bag. I had some lower back pain and cramping last night so maybe things are slowly starting up and I need to be ready. I am such a last-minute-girl it's unbelievable.

I kept all my shower gifts out so I could look at them all week and today I will find homes for everything. I keep taking out tiny baby onsies and laying them across my stomach trying to imagine a little person inside there. Unbelievable. Isn't it completely crazy that you can actually GROW another whole human being???

I am getting ready to go and do some grocery shopping. Ian and the kids were in dire straits trying to come up with something for breakfast this morning. Ha.

Ian is taking off Tuesday and Wednesday of this coming week to help get the last minute things/house ready for Jordan. It's going to be a busy week for him between rehearsals for Good Friday, painting and getting the set put together, stuff I need him to do, stuff he's doing for my mom... the guy never gets a rest.

It's a gorgeous day - I hope it's not deceiving me and I'm going to freeze the second I get outside!

Today feels like a very good day....

My First Circus

Ian scored tickets to see the Garden Brothers Circus last night. I'd never been to one before and I think I was more excited than the kids were. We headed over a bit early and pretty much got front row seats. Ian took the kids around to see the elephants and other things that were going on before the show started. And what a show it was! Tightrope walkers, acrobatics, trained ponies and pink/blue poodles that danced... a magic act where the woman kept changing her dress in a split second (Sam and I could NOT figure out how that was happening!), dancing elephants and this big steel ball with four (yes four!) motorcycles racing around inside. It was amazing to see. My mouth hung open for most of the show. LOL.

We got home just after 10:00 and Jules had fallen asleep in the van. The kids let me sleep in this morning and while I was getting their breakfast I could hear their little voices talking about their favourite part from last night.

Today I have specific things I need to accomplish. I am going to make a list and see if that keeps me on track. I have a bit of energy today so I want to make the best use of it.

13 days to go... I could go at any time....

Very Busy Day :-)

What a great day!

Our day started off with a visit to my friend Jen's house. She is married to the Associate Pastor at our church and I'm hoping that our friendship develops. Sam and Jules played with her children while we talked, and talked we did! She is such a kind and godly woman and really inspires me to be better. We discussed what it was like to have husbands involved in ministry and away from home and gave me tips as to how to deal with Ian's involvement with the Junior High ministry this fall. Our visit passed too quickly because we then had to head off to...

... the doctor! Great appointment, except I've gained another 2 lbs (moo). The reflux is completely normal and he said I could take Gaviscon if I wanted. I am currently dealing with it by drinking a lot of gingerale. My blood pressure was the best he's ever seen it and teased me saying that obviously pregnancy agrees with me and I should just carry Jordan for another 9 months and make it an even 18 months! WhatEVER Dr L! He said I've done really well this pregnancy. I have to laugh because that made me feel proud and let's face it, I haven't done anything but let this creature grow in me! LOL. He acknowledged my lack of complaining. WOOT! I've really wanted to handle this pregnancy with strength and grace and gratefulness, not complaints. (I save the odd complaint for my mom, Ian and Jen G!) Jordan's heartbeat was around 150 which is normal, my cervix hasn't thinned at all and I'm only about a fingertip dialated. He assured me that she wasn't going to fall out on the sidewalk. He's a very funny guy. :-)

After that the children and I went to Burger King for lunch. (What's that? Wonder where those 2 lbs came from...??) It was so nice talking to them about their thoughts and ideas and how excited they are to meet their baby sister. It doesn't matter how many fries they have in front of them they will steal mine if I look away. Julie made me laugh particularly hard because I've always told them not to chew their ice because it's hard on their teeth and she asked me why I've been doing it so much lately and they can't. And yes... after trying to make her understand... I said "the phrase".... do as I say, not as I do. LOL. There was a man sitting across from us who laughed during the entire conversation.

From there we went to pick up Ian and headed to Square One to go to Build A Bear. The kids wanted to make a bear for Jordan since I had made one for Sam when he was a baby and it's one of his favourites. I was so teary watching them pick out a bear body together and they chose Braham's Lullaby for the sound in the bear's paw. They each got to stuff half of the bear and each warmed up, kissed and wished on a heart to be put inside. I love that there are two hearts in it. Turns out they picked the only washable bear with non-removable eyes, and is allergy/asthma proof! Way to go guys!

Then we headed to Wal-Mart and I chose a diaper bag and we bought a combination car seat/stroller. It's pink and grey! I love it. There is a base that stays in the van and then the car seat clips to the stroller. Very cool.

Ian surprised us with the offer to go to the circus tomorrow night so we stopped on our way home to pick up tickets. I can't wait - I've never been to a circus and neither have the kids. VERY exciting.

When we got home I went upstairs to stretch out and ended up falling asleep for over 2 1/2 hours! Wow! Now I'm off to watch American Idol!

An absolutely great day....

What A Great Weekend

Saturday was Julie's birthday party. She had four friends over which was a perfect number and she was thrilled. The phone rang all day (or so it seemed!) with little girls calling for their "best friend Julie". Ian arranged everything from the craft time, to the movie, to the magic show. All I had to do was take care of the snacks, pizza, cake and clean up. It was a pj party and ran from 4-8pm, with four little girls going home hopped up on sugary cake LOL. Julie was very pleased.

Sunday was wonderful. My dear friend Jen threw me a baby shower! She hosted a bunch of my girlfriends who she didn't even know! The food was excellent and my gifts were perfect and lovely. She even had a couple of games with great prizes and Julie got to take part in that as well and won a prize. (thanks again for that, Jen!) She had never been to a shower before and quietly asked me if we were going to get wet! It was a wonderful time spent with good friends and I loved every minute of it. I have been blessed with so many wonderful friends. Jen has been so supportive of me throughout the last year and always checks on me daily to see how I'm feeling. (Sometimes I think she is more excited for the birth of this baby than I am!)

Onec home, I showed everything to Ian then crashed for a three hour nap - all the excitement wore me out I guess!

I have just about everything I could possibly need for Jordan now with the exception of her mattress and a car seat which we'll take care of this week. I see my dr again tomorrow morning for my regular weekly check up.

I am thinking about taking the kids to Build A Bear to make a bear for Jordan. I will ask if they can each wish on a heart to be sewn inside. I think it would be special for Jordan to know that her big brother and big sister made something for her with love.

Only 16 more days to go....

Friday Stuff

Well, today was the first day of the kids' spring break. We had a lazy morning then headed over to my mom's for the afternoon where the kids played out in her backyard for almost an hour and a half! Poor Julie's fingers were beet red they were so cold.

Once we came home they helped me straighten up a bit. Still lots of work to do and cleaning to be done for Julie's party tomorrow afternoon. I really hope things go ok. She is such a sweet girl and I want her to have a good time. Ian ordered her cake today and picked up all her decorations and loot bag stuff on his way home from work.

Fridays are our family movie/date nights and tonight we watched Evan Almighty together. I love that movie. Once it was over Ian led us in our bedtime prayers and Julie said the most beautiful prayers for baby Jordan, asking Him to keep her safe and healthy, and for me to not feel pain when she is born. She talked of her love for her baby sister and how she can't wait for her to come. She also prayed for her friends, especially the one who can't come to the party tomorrow because she has a fever. Her heart is so sweet and pure.

I am feeling pretty good today. Jordan has been more active today then she has been all week. I feel sad when she squirms around. We're definitely competing for space right now. I finished the last baby blanket this afternoon so that's done. I like that I made something for her. And tonight our friend came by with a huge bag of baby clothes. He and his wife have four lovely children and this is the second bag of clothes they have passed on to us. I haven't seen what is in this bag yet, but the first one had all sorts of little outfits...capris too! Size 0-3 months. And a little one piece bathing suit size 0-3 months! Too cute. Their generosity has been overwhelming.

Only 19 days to go.

Yay Me!

Today I sewed three baby blankets and did five loads of laundry!

My mom rocks.... she did three loads for me the other day and let me bring more today. I could probably bring more tomorrow and she'd be cool with that. She even sewed Julie's pants and a strap on one of my nightgowns.

Lots of great conversation and laughter today. I missed my nap to finish sewing but that's ok. I feel good having accomplished something today!

Best Kids Ever

Today the kids helped me to finish clearing out a spot for the crib. They did all sorts of bending for me, Julie put clothes away and Sam dragged the vacuum upstairs for me so I could run it over the carpet. Ian is good to go with the crib anytime.

Our Angel Care monitor arrived yesterday. What peace of mind that thing gives us. It is a pad that goes underneath the baby's mattress and if it doesn't detect movement (ie; breathing) in 20 seconds an alarm will sound. We had one with Sam and Julie and it just helped us relax in a huge way.

Today the school buses were cancelled so I kept the kids home with me. The last time the school board cancelled the buses but kept the schools open all the kids did all day was watch The Wizard Of Oz. Honestly! I figured they would be fine to be at home. I will need to put together a schedule for the March Break next week so they don't get bored hanging out at the house all day long.

Tonight I had dinner with my girlfriends. It felt so good to be with them again after missing them so much. We had so much to catch up on and lots to pray for each other about. They are lifting me up in prayer for these final weeks before Jordan arrives, as well as other issues that are weighing on my heart. I can't express how much that means to me to know that they are praying for me. Prayer changes things!

Tomorrow I am back at mom's, hopefully to finish sewing my baby blankets and to get some laundry done.

That is all.

Frustrated Today

I have so much to do and I am not feeling well. My reflux is at it's worst, I feel tired and sore and bulky. But that still doesn't change all the things I have to do today.

I guess I'll start with a small task and work from there.

22 Days To Go

Yep... still counting down. It isn't that I feel like "oh get this baby OUT", it's not that at all. It's just that I'm getting anxious about the labour and delivery now. I just want it over with because I'm spending too much time worrying about it. It will be what it will be - I cannot control everything.

I spend almost every day with my mother and I am loving this time we have together. We take the children to school in the morning, pick up breakfast and then go back to her house to eat and talk all morning. She always makes a wonderful lunch for us and then sends me up to my childhood bedroom for a nap. Then we pick up the kids from school and we are home by 4pm. We talk about everything under the sun and never run out of topics. Such precious time together.

Yesterday her cleaning ladies came so we had to leave the house so they could work. Where did we end up? The casino! What fun. I didn't gamble but it was a lot of fun to watch her. We stopped at Tim's for lunch and I won a free coffee!

Today I had my weekly dr's appointment. Up 1/2 a lb (moo) and everything is normal and on track. Jordan's heartbeat was perfect and my blood pressure was the higher end of normal. I go back again next Tuesday.

Mom and I visited with my aunt for a short while after my appointment, went home for lunch and I had the most wonderful nap afterwards.

Tonight Ian and Sam are going over to the church to paint a prop for this Easter's drama and Julie and I will do some much needed grocery shopping. Tomorrow night I'm going to be joining my girlfriends for dinner at one lady's home so I'm looking forward to that. It's always a fun time together.

The Angel Care Monitor Ian ordered for Jordan's crib arrived today and we'll buy the car seat this week. Can't believe how close it is now!

Julie's birthday party is scheduled for this Saturday and one of her friends can't make it. I felt so sad but another little girl called tonight to say she could come so that makes me feel better. Even though her birthday isn't until the 27th I was worried that she might be overlooked accidentally amidst Jordan's arrival, so we are having her party extra early this month to avoid that possibility.

That is all.

In The Home Stretch!

My daughter is due this month.

In 25 days (or thereabouts) I will have THREE children. One son and two daughters.

TWO DAUGHTERS.

I can't get my head around it! I'm so excited!!

My mom called to tell me that my aunt will arrive on the 21st or 22nd and stay until the 31st, ready to watch the children when I go into labour. Ian and I are working on a back up plan as to who will take them should I go before then. So many people have offered and we are so grateful, but we are looking for someone who the children already know and are comfortable with. We tossed out a few names then got off topic.

Wow... how has this month arrived so quickly? Wasn't it just the other day when I tested positive? I have ached for this child for so long and I've been excited the entire pregnancy to meet her and here we almost are...

My prayer is that she comes through the delivery ok, and that she is a healthy and strong little one.